For the Love of

10

I went back to the room. After making sure that the children have slept well.

Up to the room, I stared at Mas Aji who was treating his own bruises. I took over the towel he was holding. Sitting on the edge of the bed, then began compressing bruises for bruises on Mas Aji's face.

Mas Aji looked at me very closely. Without speaking, but from his eyes I knew a lot of meaning stored in it.

"Mas is really not willing to have to separate from you" he said.

I who was still compressing his bruise replied, "Then learn to let go, Mas."

"Mas love is with you. Mum ..."

"Me too" cut me quick.

Mas Aji took my hand that was on his face. Then he kissed gently.

"People aren't sure they'll be able to live without you, baby."

I'm staring. Pulling my hand on her cheek. "I'm sure you can, Mom. After that, you can get married again with another woman. A more perfect woman."

Mas Aji clucked. "All I need is you, baby. Not another woman."

I laughed at hearing it. "Isn't he? Didn't you go away from me yesterday and find another woman?"

Mas Aji was silent. He's looking down deep.

"Udahlah, Mommy. Don't talk about it anymore. It's all over" I said very calmly.

Mas Aji shook his head. Putting his fingers together and mine. "So. It's not all done. Let's talk again, let's settle it another way, not a divorce."

I smiled calmly. Then sit on the bed, facing each other. "What else do you want to say? At the end of the day, I'm still going to ask for a divorce."

Mas Aji covered my knees with his hands. Ask me not to say that again.

I lowered his hand. Then sigh. "Okay, then. Let's talk, but as a friend who knows the word compromise in it. Let's find a way out, I'm tired, Mas if we have to keep going like this. Now I'm asking, what do you want?"

Mas Aji looked at me never to leave. "Mas wants us to start over. I promise to fix everything. I promise I won't repeat that again. I promise, honey. Believe the same."

I breathe, tired. "But it's too hard for me to believe again."

Mas Aji closed his eyes for a long time before finally opening them again and our eyes clashed again. "What else do you have to do so you can believe it? I don't want to separate you and the kids, I'm willing to do anything as long as it doesn't happen."

"Me and the kids want to get on with life, by parting.maybe it's better" I said.

Mas Aji was flabbergasted. The next moment we cry again. I pulled him into the arms. This is so sweet of him.

"Mas love is with you. Love you as well."

Me too, Mas. Me either.

I gently stroked her hair. Intentions do not want to cry, but still tears come out by themselves.

"Don't stick with me again, Mom. From now on it should get used to nothing without me. My decision is absolute, I still want to .. divorce."

Mas Aji broke out of my arms. He looks at me softly. "No second chance, Mom? Why?"

My hand was raised to touch her cheek. For a moment, Mas Aji closed his eyes. "Delivering murky water is harder than dripping indigo on a milk proboscis, Mas."

Mas Aji was silent with a lowered look. "I knew. It all takes a fight. Then I'm ready, I'll fight to any extent to make the water clear again."

"Mas will leave Cynthia for you and the children. Or if you need to ... We can stay in another city to open a new leaf. Then allow our marriage to continue."

Can you do that? Is it true that you have never felt the slightest love for your woman?

Does Cynthia mean nothing even if you've been with her for 6 months?

Even if we open a new leaf in a new city, will there not be another Cynthia later?

Various conversations were coming together in my mind.

I'm riveted. Your raucous voice with red eyes blurted in the grief of the night, somewhat making my heart so worried.

But ... Isn't this the risk that Mas Aji must accept for what he has done?

Mas Aji kissed my forehead before finally hugging me tightly. Ducting a warm swish on every nerve cell of my body.

I'mtired.

• • •

The clock shows at 00:20 in the morning. But our eyes are not closed.

Mas Aji and I were lying on the bed, with their eyes fixed on the ceiling.

Mas Aji has been holding me tight. His hands won't take things off my body for a moment.

Our talk never found a bright spot. I wanted to split up and Mas Aji who wanted to stay, made it all seem like it was hard to find the finish line.

His hands were getting tighter hugging my waist. Mas Aji approached, inhaling my neck and hair deeply.

He put his lips to my ear. Then he said, "Have you forgiven me?"

I held my breath for a moment. My voice suddenly choked. Should I be that easy to forgive her? Does this matter have to be as easy as it's done? Nah! There was pain I felt all along. There's no way I can forgive him as easily as turning the palm of the hand. Nay!

Mas Aji stroked my cheeks very gently. Her lips then sent warmness to my lips. Which certainly gives me a strange rumble and a whirlwind on the body. In every kiss, in every touch, there is a longing in it. There is a tempestuous desire breaking out from within this body.

I tried to resist. Your shadow when cheating, makes me rebel. Although it can not be denied, if I am also the same miss, Mas.

Your warm touch and caress, made me fall and fall for the passions of earthly heaven. The lips that you used to seduce your Cynthiamu, now softly chirped my name from each sigh, and led me flying into the clouds, falling plunged into nirvana.

There's love in his eyeballs. There's a twinkle that's been missing between the two of us. Behind the dim lights of this room, Mad Aji seemed to return to the real thing. Namely, to me. On my arms and on my power. I clung back to her body, groaning and chanting an equally beautiful rhythm, a sign of me giving up.

...• • •

...

Right at 3 am, I woke up to the ringing of Mas Aji's phone.

Mas Aji was still asleep, after we had both climbed back to feel what had been lost.

My breath choked as I read the incoming message. From Cynthia, that woman again.

My breath hunts later, there is a lust back soaring high. Mas Aji woke up, looking at me in astonishment. He took over the phone in my hand when I didn't answer his question.

It's hard for me to say that, "She's pregnant, Mom."

Right, clearing the turbid water won't be easy. Moreover, the water plus mud now.

My decision was unanimous, I gave up.