For the Love of

19

I've been walking for three months. During that time, I did not tell Mas Aji or his family about this news.

After all, we have rarely met. Mas Aji came here to visit the children, only 2 months once. That is also counted often, especially the distance between Jakarta-Garut is quite good.

During that time, I still often communicate with Mas Aji's family. With Father, Mother, with her cousins, also with Omanya.

Our relationship is still that good. And I'm so grateful.

But today, I was suddenly agitated. Someone with an unknown number, sent me some messages. The message that makes my head woozy is not playing.

This is the hardest disease on earth. Malignant predator. Just got out of the mud, and plunged again into the same mud.

The message is so. With some photos that are none other than the father of my children. My ex-husband. Mas Aji's.

In it, he appears to be with a woman. Get out and into a hotel and restaurant.

I looked carefully, as if I knew who that woman was. Yes, the same woman, who was the reason we were devastated. Cynthian.

My chest tightened, and my joints suddenly squeezed. For some reason, even though we have separated but still know the fact that Mas Aji still likes to play crazy, making myself destroyed. Just like the first time I knew she was having an affair.

Talking about love? To be honest, I still love her as much as I used to love Mas Aji. But I think ... why love, if the ends only end?

And letting go is the best answer.

This little baby in my stomach, it might also be the reason why I can be as sick and as restful as seeing those photos.

Because honestly, these past few days, I feel like I've been wanting to be with the father of the kids. Even if it's impossible.

So in order to answer and remove all my confusion, I contacted Karel. The man who has been here for three months is always by my side.

He is always ready when I need him. He was always there when I was depressed. He was even willing to switch duties from a Jakarta hospital, to a hospital in Bandung. With reason, to be closer to me.

Don't think anything about me and Karel. Because for whatever reason, he and I were only involved in friendship status.

Karel was purely helping me. And he, there is no other purpose than that.

"Yes, wait a minute, okay? I'm sorry again. What do you want to bring?" karel said across the street when I called her.

"Necessary, Rail. You've come here to help."

"Oh, okay-okay. Yeah, wait, yeah. See you."

"Yes, see you too."

"Well all right, (Nam)?"

I'm nodding. "Well, okay."

"Related?"

I nodded back.

Karel took a breath. "If there's any story, huh? Do you remember who I am?"

Yes, of course I remember, Karel. You are one of the people who influenced me to this day.

"Yes. I must have told you the same story. Thanks, Rail."

Karel smiled. "Btw, baby how are you? Not fussy?"

"No, Alhamdulillah. He's good luckily."

"Don't miss his dad?" ask Karel.

I'm sure the question is a joke. But, suddenly my mind was fixed on the mystery message.

I suddenly shut up.

"(Name)? Are you okay?"

Sighs, then, "Rel, someone sent this." I finally told her that. I handed her my phone.

Karel researched the details of each photo. "This is a new photo?"

I shove my shoulders. "Maybe it's a new photo. Sent this morning. I don't know who sent me either."

Karel nodded his head. "You suspect someone?"

"Yes. Cynthia, maybe?" I said, "actually don't care how Mas Aji kayak behaves. But, to my bewilderment, why should that person send to me? Obviously, our relationship is over. If you want to deketin Mas Aji again, yes please."

"The person who sent this, must have had a certain purpose to you. But you calm down, don't think too much about this. Let this matter be taken care of. Most importantly, you need to be okay. Do not be easily provoked. Remember children are the same as yourself. If you go down again, our efforts all this time must be in vain, okay?"

I nodded at Karel's words. That's right, if I fall again, the effort I did with Karel will definitely feel in vain.