Flavour Bias

Trapped

In the morning I sat pensively on the bed enjoying the cold air that entered through the window that had been open for some time. Last night I was forced to sleep in this room because Aunt Ira insisted, while Mama said nothing. Aunty Ira knew that on the first night of the wedding I slept with Mama.

I realized my story might not be as beautiful as the Korean drama I was watching. If in the drama a couple who are forced to marry will make a partition on the bed, or maybe one of them sleeps on the floor with a carpet. But not with us. I couldn't negotiate with the man, so we stayed asleep in the same bed, even though we didn't talk to each other.

When I woke up in the middle of the night, I saw her and when I woke up this morning, I saw her too. But now that I don't see it, do I miss it? Of course not, I don't want him here.

Since yesterday my phone rang, Edgar said that he was feeling better, making peace with the situation was the key to a quiet life.

I smiled and read the message. Especially when he said that he had woken up from his dead survey.

I replied to that message. [Died like what is called suri. As for suri itself has the meaning of a good example or example.]

He sent the emoticons laughing. [Different things with the queen mother.]

[Oh like, Our Queen Mother who became our queen, has now died.] I don't know why I should send a message like that to Edgar. I just feel like I need someone to talk to and joke with.

Edgar's brother sent me back laughing emoticons, but unfortunately I couldn't laugh with him. Maybe I was also going through a torpor.

“Cha,” suddenly I heard a voice behind the door and it was Mama's voice. I got out of bed and opened it. Mama stood up and smiled at me, but her smile was not as calm as when I was single. Mama knew that I still wanted to enjoy my youth freely, not like now, confined to a room with a man.

 “You all right?”

I just nodded. It is said that nothing may be useless because it will only make Mama worried.

“Mama sorry.” Mom pulled my hand and put it on her cheek. “Sorry.”

I took a breath. Then nod.

“Sorry because Mama had to go home this morning.”

Heart's sniffing. I thought Mama apologized and felt guilty for my marriage and life she chose, I was wrong.

“You should probably stay here until you and Iyash are completely healed.”

“Why go home so soon?” ask me in the end.

“Mama can't leave home for longer. From yesterday the order came in. Utami can't do it alone. Mama should have come home yesterday.”

I wet my throat. I don't think that's why Mama left, but it was the chat and her plan with Aunt Ira that made her leave me here.

“What time will Mama go home?”

“No luck, around ten.”

I nodded, but I hoped that Mama would understand my expression and take me home with her.

“Now you take a shower, let it be fresh. After that we will go shopping, Bude Mirasih invites us to the market. Mama wants to buy souvenirs.”

For now I'm following all the wishes of Mama and everyone, maybe giving up is giving myself time to win.

After Mama went out, I took a shower, then got ready. Then go for breakfast. Iyash's brother was already there and compactly they left one empty seat next to the man.

I had to sit down, and I had to sleep next to him last night. Almost everyone eats rice and stewed omelet and crackers. I just took oranges for breakfast.

“Icha don't eat rice?” ask Grandma.

I'm shaking.

“Icha is used to breakfast fruits, Mom,” replied Mama.

“Sama kayak Iyash,” sahut Aunt Ira and immediately I looked at the woman. “Tuh, he runs out one orange, later in a few minutes he will eat two boiled eggs. You are lucky because Iyash will not trouble you in the morning. He even boiled the egg himself.”

I immediately took my eyes off the woman. I don't like to see his expression when he prides his son and belittles me.

“Cha, we are still curious yesterday where did you go?” ask Om Hasa.

Since yesterday, I only locked myself in my room with a tired reason to want to rest. So, no one wants to discuss yesterday's events with me.

“Shoes, clothes, everything is wet. You fell asleep?” tanya Aunty Ira related Om Hasa's question.

“Or fall into the river?” guess Grandma. “Until your hand was injured yesterday. “You are also dirty, many bruises. No one hurts you, ‘kan?”

“Fall, Grandma,” I replied briefly, whereas I wanted to say all this because of Sister Iyash. But, for what, he also won't realize that he hurt me.

I barely noticed everyone here and anyone sitting around the table with a dish on a plate. What is clear is that Rasya, his wife and two children are still there, Pakde Irwan, his wife and two children and his four grandchildren have not returned from Grandma's residence.

***

After breakfast Bude drove us in a car driven by her husband. Aunt Ira and Mama sit in the middle seat with Queensha, Kak Rasya's eldest son. While Kak Rasya and his own wife chose to go on a motorcycle because since yesterday Prince was fussy. I myself even stuck one seat with Brother Iyash in the back seat.

Why would I be stuck in a situation like this with someone who avoids his own life? Maybe he lost his ability to communicate.

Despite being in one seat, I chose to sit a little far apart, unlike the newlyweds who were drunk with romance. We never even held hands. However, that does not mean I want to be like a newlywed in general. I just feel alien to my own life.

I stared out the window. While I stuffed my ears with earphones, listening to music was probably better, even though I didn't actually play a song. All the playlists on my phone contained a bad song and I hate it because it was my playlist when I dropped out of Arka. Now I myself am confused by this situation. Crying is pointless because it doesn't make me okay or change the way I hate.

We got to the market, Iyash and I just followed those who were intending to shop. While I feel unnecessary because I can buy what I need in Jakarta.

The passerby, the narrow path, made us crammed. Strange, why are mothers willing to jostle like this just to be able to get a cheaper price?

Several times my shoulders came into contact with the man's chest due to the urging of the passers-by. However, I don't think that's an impression, because I also feel that it's a common thing, I can even accidentally come into contact with another, yes, ‘kan? Also called market.