Flavour Bias
Not a Joke
Mama caressed my cheek. “You deserve to be angry because all things are sudden.”
I want to be angry because everything is beyond my limits. My chest was shaking like a bomb was about to explode.
However, Mama put my hand on her left chest. “Mama is afraid one day can not watch you get married.”
“Why Mom says so.” I took my hand from him.
“Cha, Mama's pain is getting worse and Mama's heart can stop.”
“Papa who is healthy and not sick at all could suddenly die.”
“Iya, precisely that.”
“Not that Icha mean,” my rebuttal fast. “Mama should not despair.” My breath's choked.
“The fear that Mama felt was a face, Cha. You're your only hope Mama, Mama is afraid you're falling in love with the wrong person.”
“No, no, no.” I got up and backed off. “Icha do not want to marry Iyash.”
“Mama already knows how Iyash. He's a good boy, polite.”
“But, he's rough.”
Mama shook her head. “Mama saw him when he had an accident ten years ago. Papa's time is still there. His girlfriend died in the accident. She was angry and hated her life until that long, Cha.”
I stopped for a moment to look at Mama. “Icha can't.” My voice started to shake. “Icha already considers Kak Iyash like Icha's own sister. Besides Aunt Ira already thinks of Icha like her daughter, ‘kan? So it's like–” I took a breath to hide my anger and sadness.
“Cha.”
“Icha does not need to be his son-in-law,” I added slowly.
“If this is your last request. What are you going to do?”
Suddenly, Mom asked me a difficult question.
“If it's a love problem, Mama is sure you can love him, your tenderness can beat the harshness of him.”
I'm shaking. What other way to make Mama want to stop her intentions.
“What is this plan long ago?” askaku.
Nauseating Mama makes my heart melt. And I sat in front of him again. “When?”
“Before Papa died. Papa had told Om Hasa to find you a good husband someday, but a week ago Om Hasa said for what is not sure, you can marry his son.”
“Mama ...” I'm pissed off.
“Mama is sorry, Cha.”
“But, it's just an offer, why should it be approved?”
“Iya, but Mama has agreed.”
“Why, Ma?” I took a breath to relieve the tightness in the chest.
“Mama just wants you to live with the right people.”
“Why can Mama be sure that Kak Iyash is the right person?”
“Mama think you guys are destined for each other. Otherwise, maybe Iyash is married to his girlfriend who turns out to be alive or with another woman.”
“Hah?” pekiku.
Mama nodded. “Iya, Cha, the girlfriend he considers dead is still alive and she is married to another man.”
“Mama is impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible except licking your own elbow,” is chuckling.
I pouted, but Mama laughed at her own jokes. That's hard to believe, Mama's not sick.
“Cha, this is serious,” but Mama while chuckling. If this is what one believes. “Married to Iyash. Om Hasa proposed to you yesterday for his son. This is also as a form of your reply the same Om Hasa.”
“Icha.” It seems that Mama can't help but laugh either. Never mind, we are like this, sometimes serious things become jokes.
“Mama.” I still can't help it. “Icha will do anything to cancel everything.”
My mom is still laughing. “You can't all be late. Tonight is his show.”
“Hah?” my peek. This time I can't laugh anymore. If it's like this, it can't be a joke.
I tried to think of a way to derail tonight's show, while Mama stood up and pointed me in the mirror. “You are beautiful.” He then pointed at my chest. “From here. You do not have any problems with your psychological, you are healthy by birth and inner.”
Hearing Mama say so, I just wanted to smile cynically. Who cares anyway?
“Iyash has dated a psychically troubled woman and of course that is not good,” Mama added.
“I think he's actually the one who's psychically ill.”
“Maybe. That's why he couldn't forgive himself all this time. And now he needs a woman who can think logically with him.”
I quickly took my bag and put all my stuff in it. “If Mama loves me, help me get out of here. Mama does not want, ‘kan Icha married a mentally ill man?”
“Cha, he's not sick, he just needs his confidence back. She needs someone to help love herself.”
I'm pensive. And my movements are stifled.
“If you marry her. Mama promise you are free to do anything, otherwise work is not a problem.”
“Mama said, I have to be independent because there are men who do not know themselves.”
“Cha, that's if you marry that reporter, or your aunt's choice. While Iyash has a clear future.”
“Kak Edgar too, Ma.”
“But, he is not necessarily willing to marry you.”
“Indeed Mama thinks Kak Iyash wants?” I'm clucking. “Icha is not a spinster, Ma. Icha can get more. Who wants to get married so soon?”
“Gini, Cha. Marry first, love affairs later.”
“Mama is not about love,” my rebuttal. “Icha can't.” Restless makes me pacing indeterminate direction.
“Do not make Mama go to the hospital and you are forced to get married in front of a comatose person.”
“Astaghfirullahaladzim says. This mama is not a soap opera.”
“Instead soapetron inspired from real story.”
“And Mama one of the victims of soap opera,” snorted me.
“Cha, Mama knows this is heavy for you.” This time I heard Mama's tone more serious. “But, no choice. This is also your Papa's mandate. Papa asks Om Hasa to find a candidate for you.”
It is common for you to repeat a row of sentences from top to bottom. Especially if I say the guy doesn't mean it has to be Sister Iyash, he's rude and blah-blah-blah. Mama will probably explain back from beginning to end.
“Ma, if I don't marry her, is there another option?”
“Of course, the choice is only two, married attended by Mama, or not.”
I took a long breath. “Mama, it's not an option.”
“Cha, just like you, Mama also had no choice when Papa left. Mama raised you alone, or went after Papa.”
I was overwhelmed and I wasn't sure I could keep my wish.
“Do it for Mama, for Papa and for Om Hasa,” pinta Mama.
I've lost thousands of sentences that I can refute to deny everyone's wishes, but if this involves people I love. I can what?
Mama stroked the top of my head, then kissed my forehead. “You can calm yourself first. The event began after the Isya prayer. Do not try to run because Mama's heart disease can recur and you will not be able to see Mama again.”
I heard the worst words Mama ever said.
