Flavour Bias

Divorce is Not My Responsibility

I couldn't stop crying in Mama's arms, and her gentle caress made me even more sliced. Mama also can't seem to hold back the crying. For the last seven years we have been doing it both. It's heavy and I can't afford to leave Mom. He was everything and now I have to obey the man who was my husband. I wish I could've foiled this marriage before Om Hasa signed her to KUA.

Slowly I took off my arms. Then go back to Aunt Ira. He hugged me and gave me something. “Do not be that sad, you will still be able to take care of your mother, as long as Iyash allows it.”

That sentence made my chest tight. What if Brother Iyash wants my whole life to follow all his wishes? What if he doesn't let me stay home with Mama?

I immediately switched to Om Hasa. The man I had considered like my own father said, that I managed to conquer the harshness of Sis Iyash's defense. He asked me to take him back on the right path.

“Indeed he got lost?” my thinking.

After the sungkem, the people took turns congratulating us. The chants of prayer filled the residence of the two parents Om Hasa. Before I bowed to Mama, I first bowed to Grandpa and Grandma. The old man prayed that our marriage would be as complete as his. Brother Iyash assures the prayer, I feel like I can't believe that the man has secured it, whereas I myself want to thwart this. That guy's really hard to guess.

Some people are enjoying tonight's banquet. While I'm not lustful, even though my stomach feels hungry because crying makes me lack a lot of energy.

Cousin Iyash called Mas Iqbal approached and prayed for us. He told me to look after his cousin.

“Wait. I think it's back, Mas. He should take care of me.”

Brother Iqbal smiled. “Your life is colored, Yash. You are lucky to know Icha.”

“Don't overdo it,” snorted Sister Iyash

I clucked annoyedly hearing Brother Iyash say so. So I decided to go and chat with Rasya, I think he's the perfect brother, strangely why should he have a sister like Iyash?

The show finished at ten. Now we sit on the edge of the bed, I'm on the left and he's on the right. I'm lazy to start a conversation if at the end of it he makes me goiter with his spicy words. I don't think he has any intention of starting the conversation or explaining what's really going on right now. Sitting still for a few minutes irritated me, so I decided to go to the bathroom and change clothes. Don't expect there to be a beautiful first night. Because this marriage alone I never expected.

Behind the bathroom I heard him talking to someone on the phone. However, when I came out of the bathroom, she ended it. Our view had been birobed, but I immediately diverted it. He's probably gonna be crazy to see me for longer, so I better go to Mama's room.

In front of the door to Mama's room. I heard Rasya's voice which may have happened to be that he had just returned from the kitchen.

“Cha, even the wedding night wear kayak clothes like that.”

“Important Icha does not use negligee. How's it? Tempting enough?” my tantrum is bending the body. I'm upset to think of this as a necessity.

“Mmmm.” Rasya's sister thumped lips. “Less the truth, there should be more effort to tease Iyash.”

“Bodo very,” gripped me. I heard Rasya laughing. At my wedding she said she felt sorry for me for marrying a stiff guy like Iyash. All I'm saying is that I actually got a pellet.

When I went into Mama's room, I was stunned to see her cry.

“Mama.”

Mama looked. “Icha.”

Slowly I approached.

“Mama sorry.” I heard Mama's regret again. I think he knows that Aunt Ira insulted me.

“Nothing. Why apologize. Papa always says that crying is appropriate. Mama look, Icha is fine, really. Icha can take care of yourself.”

Mama took a breath while nodding. I was already legally the wife of Brother Iyash, but I had plans to cancel this marriage, before Om Hasa registered her to KUA. I'm sure there will be a way for every problem.

“It's late, Cha, quickly go back to the room, your husband must have been waiting.”

“Mama, ‘kan know, Icha do not want to marry him.” I went up to the bed. “So, why if Icha sleeps here?” I slept on my mother's lap.

“You are an adult, you should understand,” Mama said as she stroked my head, I slowly started to get sleepy.

“Icha knows what a couple should do on their wedding night,” I said with my eyes closed.

“Mmm, don't do it. Let her serve herself,” grunt me slowly and I began to fall asleep in Mama's lap.

***

Last night I got a message from Brother Edgar that when he got home, he also apologized for his attitude towards me. I didn't reply to the message because I removed the blue tick in my whatsapp settings, so maybe he thought, I haven't read the message.

In the morning after performing the dawn prayer, I went to Sister Iyash's room to pick up my toiletries, but just as I was about to get out, I accidentally got stuck with her.

“I want to talk,” said Iyash while barging in. Of course I quickly shifted before he took any unpleasant actions, such as pushing me maybe.

“Listen,” said as soon as she turned around and looked at me. “Icha was forced to accept this marriage for the sake of Mama, so, never expect Icha will love Sister Iyash.”

He stared at me for a few seconds. Then he went to the window and opened it. I could only frown and return to feeling that gerrymandering.

Instead of getting goiter, I chose to go back to Mama's room. However, then I heard him chortle.

“This wedding is just a formality, so, never talk about love.”

My heart gripped with pain. Well, I heard his words and I'm going to record them in my memory.

I quickly went to the room that Mama occupied. And behind the door of the room.

“Why you?” ask Mama.

“Mama where to go?” I was surprised to see my mom packing clothes. Separating mine and hers.

“Rome.”

“When?” I approached.

“Later noon.”

“Then, Icha will go home with Mama.”

“Loh, can't.” Mama rose. “Iyash, ‘kan not healed yet, as a wife, you have to take care of her.”

“Oh. Icha knows.”

Yeah, I just understood one thing. They came here to marry us. Then I became his personal nurse.

I went back to Iyash's room. When I opened the door I saw that he was still daydreaming in front of the open window with a dark morning view.

“Icha does not understand what Iyash Kak thinks, Icha just did not expect Kak Iyash will do this.”

The man looked up and looked at me, but said nothing. This is what makes me sad, why won't he even talk to me?

“Why involve Icha?” I shriveled until I didn't realize my tears were falling across my cheeks.

Again he did not respond to me. Want to get to when? I humbled myself in front of a man like him?

“Divorce Om Hasa and Aunt Ira, not the responsibility of Icha,”.

“I–” He withheld his sentence.

“If it's a matter of return, why did Kak Iyash have to sacrifice his life?” I took a breath while wiping the wet cheeks. Then leave the room. Enough already! I have limits on where I should do it.

I thought that after recovering from my heartache towards Arka, I forgot how to cry, but after Iyash was present, I seemed to have forgotten how to stop from holding back these tears.