Destiny Choice
Choose Destiny (Choosing Destiny) End
August 5th, 2036
"I don't want to do chemo" I told Nico.
Nico looked straight at me.
"Why?" tanyakanya.
"I'm scared. It will definitely hurt." I replied as I lowered my head to the hospital floor.
"You told me once, that Steven did this chemo. And you told him yourself, so why are you now afraid to do the same with Steven?"
I didn't answer the question.
"Na, I won't mean you. All options are in your hands." Steven said, touching the back of my hand.
I looked at him fixedly. Do I have to do it? After a long time, I avoided this treatment from the doctor.
"Yuk, we go home." take Nico who has been standing from his seat.
I stood up and he held my hand tightly.
I guess I should do it. My inner.
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August 27, 2036
"Na, is your head still dizzy?" ask Nico heart.
I who was looking at the window turned to look at Nico who was beside my bed.
"No." I replied briefly.
Now I don't have a single hair on my head. The things Steven used to feel, I feel now.
It hurts, but I have to be strong.
"If, still sick. You can tell me." said Nico while stroking my back.
"Then? Are you going to tell me to take some more medicine?" much
He stopped stroking my back, and looked me in the face.
"The medicine is just to ease your pain, Na. Please understand." he replied.
"I understand." I reply.
I looked back at the window.
I think I'll be back with my parents soon. However, can Nico survive on his own here without me?
•••••••••••••••••••••••••
November 1, 2036
How many days have I been, my head is so dizzy. Is this the effect of the second chemo I just did?
I hope this pain goes away quickly.
"Na, let's eat first." take Nico while patting me on the shoulder.
I tried to get out of bed. However, I don't think my energy is strong enough for that.
"Here I help you." said Nico while helping me get up.
After I was in a comfortable position, Nico fed me food.
"Enough, I'm full" I said.
Nico just nodded in understanding. And he finished my meal.
The feeling, the food was not good. But why would you want to spend it?
"Is it raining outside?" I asked Nico as he stared at the hospital window.
"Yes, it seems so."
For a long time, I didn't see any rain. Does it still feel the same as before?
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November 20th, 2036
"Nic, come here." I asked.
Nico who was busy cooking, finally approached me who was in the room.
"What's up, Na?" tanyakanya.
"Which wig do you think I'm good at?" my many.
"Why do you want to wear a wig?" askalanya.
"Because I want to. Honestly, I feel weird not having hair" I replied sadly.
"What's so weird? I think you're still pretty" she said, bringing her face closer to mine.
He suddenly kissed my lips slowly.
I was a little surprised, with that kiss.
"Na." called her softly after distancing her lips.
I looked at him confused.
"I love you." continued slowly.
And he kissed me back. Longer, longer than before.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••
December 1, 2036
I just finished doing my third chemo. The sickest chemo, among the two chemos I've ever run.
Is this what Steven felt? I became sorry, I forced him.
"Na, are you okay?" ask Nico worriedly.
I with my pale face looked at him.
I replied to Nico's question with just a slow nod. Because I'm not strong enough to talk anymore.
"You have to be strong" Nico said as he clasped my hand tightly.
I felt some water dripping down my hand. Apparently, Nico was crying.
"Why are you crying?" ask me with difficulty.
Nico answered with a slab. I knew something was wrong, and I knew he was hiding it from me.
But you better hide it. Because I don't want to listen to him at all.
•••••••••••••••••••••••
December 6th, 2036
It's been a few days after the third chemo. However, my condition has not improved at all.
I've resigned, if there is no hope for me anymore.
"First, after Steven's departure. I really feel really bad. To cover up my grief, I decided to go after my delayed ideals. I finally became a successful architect. But again, sadness always fell on me. My dad got sick, and I couldn't stay by my side because of work. And father was taken care of by his secretary. However, after going through a critical period, my father finally left me. I who no longer know the direction of my life, repeatedly trying to end my own life. However, I didn't do it because I always remembered someone who loved me."
I looked at Nico clingy.
"You're the one, the one who's always on my mind. I rose from my grief and looked back at my future. Although, I finally got the fact that I have uterine cancer. At first I was scared, but I finally tried to accept it. I said in my heart, isn't this what I want? Get out of this world fast? However, again - again the thought of you is what makes me always worried." said I began to sob.
"Nic, I'm so scared to leave you alone in this world." I continued.
Suddenly, Nico hugged me tightly.
"I'm afraid you're leaving me, too. If it is destiny. I can't do anything anymore either. What I hope is, there you will be healthy again and happy to be reunited with Steven and your parents. Don't worry about me." said Nico, stroking my hair slowly.
I was crying in his arms too. I don't know, why is my heart still afraid to leave it?
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December 24th, 2036
"Na, are you sure you want to go home tomorrow?" ask Nico.
"Yes." I replied briefly.
"But, konda." his words were cut off because I suddenly kissed his lips.
"Be quiet." I said between our kisses.
I could hear his heartbeat, very - very fast. After the kiss, I hugged her tightly.
Nic, I think my time is soon. Now you must try to be strong without me.
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December 25, 2036
I was dreaming, I was in the sand. And there I saw someone I knew very well standing behind me. I immediately called out his name, but he just turned his head and smiled faintly at me.
When I wanted to get to him, he was gone like sand blowing in the wind.
"Wake up, Na." call Nico while shaking my body.
I woke up from that dream.
"Na, are you a gapapa?" ask Nico to worry.
I just returned with a smile.
"Nic, let me go back to sleep. I'm still very sleepy." I said.
"Alright." he replied in a somewhat anxious tone.
He moved to get out of the room. However, I immediately clasped his hand.
"Nic, I love you. And it always will be. I'm sorry, because I could never say it so well. And thanks for coming back for me."
Nico's gaze turned sad.
"Sleep, Na. You're so tired right now." she replied as she took my hand away from her.
Before he came out of the room, he said to me.
"I love you too. And now sleep in peace."
I fell asleep in all my memories in this world.
Hi, my name is Brianna Maurell. And this is the end of my story.
..."I love both men, in the same feeling."...
...~Brianna Maurell~...
