Believe me, I'm Still Sacred

Chapter 6. Reason Rey

Pov Reyndra's

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"Rey? You're still there, right?"

I heard my mother's voice still on the phone. I'll get the phone I dropped on that floor, "Yes, Ma? Rey is still here."

"Rey, can you go back to Jakarta?"

"Em.iya Ma, Rey. But, when will Zahwa get married?"

"God willing one more week."

"Who is Zahwa getting married to, Ma?" ask me to panic, who is the man who has dared to propose to her. What Raihan? I thought in my heart.

"Raihan, he's Iqbal's son." replied the mother who made me distrust. They love each other, I know. That since childhood they have been betrothed.

"Oh that's Ma, thank you for the information." I replied flatly.

After my conversation with Mama was over, I hung up the phone after saying my regards. I lay my body on the soft bed, I looked at the ceiling of the room wall. My mind floated, overshadowed by the figure of Zahwa and Raihan who were getting married.

Another week, they're getting married.

I tried to be stupid, so I decided to give up. Try to love in prayer and in silence. Hope my feelings for Zahwa will soon disappear by themselves. But before long, Zahwa sent me a message, he asked me to come to his wedding. A hopeful message, a sister's wish on her brother that made me even sicker.

I just read the message without replying, honestly my heart hurts so much. I decided not to go back to Jakarta, I would not want to see Zahwa redacted by someone else. Ah.. Come on, I'm just here.

Last night I didn't sleep, thinking about Zahwa. Even in every prayer of my prayer, I hope that this sense of curse will quickly disappear. But every time I close my eyes after praying, I open my eyes. I always see Zahwa in front of me, smiling at me sweetly. Calling me brother with his voice.

Astagfirullahaladzim! Zahwa wants to marry another man! Come on, Reyndra, this feeling you can't have. And Zahwa will also marry a good man, from a distinguished family, religious, Sholeh, a university graduate in Egypt. He could definitely make Zahwa happy and they would definitely live happily. But why am I still so unselfish?

When my intention to give up, I also tried to be happy to go to his wedding.5 days before Zahwa's wedding day, I did not go straight home. Honestly, I have not dared to look at the atmosphere of my house let alone see Zahwa. I stayed at the apartment I had bought with my savings all this time.

The apartment is not so luxurious, but it is quite enough to live in. One day when I was shopping for my empty apartment without food, I saw a familiar hijab-wearing woman sitting with her friends and I knew her friends too.

"Seriously your sister wants to marry Zahwa?"

"Haha, so you should call Zahwa brother-in-law dong?"

"That's funny, ngakak!"

The three friends of Salima like mocking Salima who will become one family with Zahwa. Is it possible that Salima doesn't like Zahwa? Butwhy? I was more interested in hearing their conversation, so I eavesdropped.

"But he will not be happy, get into my family" Salima said with a cynical smile on her lips.

"What does that mean, Salima?" ask a friend.

"Kak Raihan will not only marry him. Abi and Abahku have betrothed Raihan's leg to another woman again. He's going to honey, hahaha..."

I, who was behind the door, was caught hearing his words.

"Seriously? But your sister really loves Zahwa, they're so cute from childhood."

"Love? Yes, Raihan brother really love the same Zahwa, but what does it mean that love if Raihan's feet are very obedient to Abi and my brother. Surely brother Raihan will marry the girl of their choice, finally the Zahwa in honey deh. Yes, persis like my Abi who has a wife of two.alm my mom is the same umi Fatimah."

Hearing that, I remembered that it was true that Iqbal had two wives. Even his brother Ustad Arifin had 3 wives. Will Raihan be like that too? But didn't she promise to make Zahwa the only woman in her life?

"Oh yes, like polygamy in your family is common. Abah you're also his wife of 3 right?"

I saw Salima nod, it seems that the woman did not lie. Given the history of male polygamy in his family, it is not impossible if one day Raihan will marry again and combine Zahwa. Really, I don't want that to happen.

Although Zahwa is not with me, he can't be with Raihan. A man who might be able to match his love someday. No, I won't let that happen to Zahwa. How deep their love is, I don't want Zahwa to get hurt.

Just standing there for a long time, after I saw one by one Salima's friends go from there. Then I approached Salima, with a heart-driven intention.

Call it I don't know myself, or whatever it is. I don't care, the important thing is that Zahwa is happy and protected from injuries. Betting with myself, Salimah and I are plotting a conspiracy. Yes, it can be said to be evil or sneaky this way. I photographed Zahwa sleeping without her hijab and myself there in all black. Yes, I am evil and I have ruined the reputation of the woman I love.

Let's just say this is a test of love for them, if what Salima said is true. That Raihan prefers his family over Zahwa, means his love for Zahwa is not that deep. And the Raihan family attaches great importance to reputation.

Then on the day of the wedding, everything was clearly proven. I saw that Raihan chose to go with his parents regardless of Zahwa's crying feelings and all my family seemed disappointed. To be honest I was sad, guilt was also in my heart seeing Zahwa crying sadly. But I did all this for her, too.

And if everyone knows that I'm the man in the picture, I'm ready to get a verdict or punishment from my family. The hatred of them, their disappointment, I will definitely feel one day. I'm ready if I have to be in the mintain of accountability someday. Because I was guilty of making Zahwa fail to marry Raihan. Moreover, Zayn, it seems like he has already realized my feelings for Zahwa.

Well, this is God's way that I must fight for my feelings for this inexhaustible Zahwa.

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