Believe me, I'm Still Sacred

Chapter 46. Follow your heart

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Moments later after hearing her husband ask Zahwa. Again Zainab's feelings were uncomfortable, could she have any feelings for her husband? What about Raihan himself?

Suddenly Raihan called his wife.

"Zaina."

"Yes, mas?"

"Do you still like Reyndra?"

"No mas, my love is not as deep as the love of Raihan with Zahwa" said Zainab with a bitter smile on her lips.

Raihan turned his body, to see the look on his wife's face. "Zaynab..."

"Mas, please learn to love me." pinta Zainab said softly.

Raihan immediately went to sit on the bed, he saw Zainab's eyes begin to glaze over. Why is Zainab suddenly like that? Didn't they behave like friends for one week, according to Raihan.

"Why are you asking for this Zainab? Do you love me?"

"Yes, I'm starting to love you. During these few days I have always done my duty as a wife, I have seen you in my prayers, I admire and I realize that this feeling is beginning to grow in my heart." zainab said as she held her chest, she expressed love for Raihan, her husband. And what it's like for Reyndra, is just ordinary love and admiration, not love.

Raihan sighed softly, then he smiled bitterly. "Sorry Zainab, you are a good woman and a good woman, but I do not love you. Do you know who is in my heart?"

"I know mas.." said Zainab while holding back her tears from falling. He knows exactly who is the occupant of Raihan's heart, but he loves her.

"Then don't love me too deeply, or you'll hurt Zainab."

"I'm sorry, I can't.we live together, we're married, I can't stop the feeling that keeps growing every day seeing you."

"Haahh...then you want me how is Zainab?" asked Raihan while sighing heavily.

"Try to love me. After all, Zahwa and his mother have rejected Raihan's application, right? Let's start a new life mas, maybe we are destined to be together even though we are married because in a match, that's how God unites us."

"Zainab, it may be for you but not for me. My feelings are still the same for Zahwa."

Zainab was upset that Raihan always brought up Zahwa and Zahwa even I was both like this. He wanted to be angry at his best friend, but what was Zahwa's fault? Her husband has not moved on.

And again Zainab was hurt even before starting the relationship, why should she have this love?

"Mas, if you can't love me yet it's not impossible that you'll love me later. You just can't." .

"Zainab.." Raihan's eyes trembled at the girl's words.

"Don't expect something that isn't your soul mate, accept this situation, that I'm your wife. Then treat me like that. You understand the science of religion, right? I'd know what I want from Mas,"

"Zainab, I can't give it to you yet." Raihan understands the purpose of Zainab's conversation where, he wants an inner living from her.

"I want a living mind mas, give it to me tonight."

"No Zainab!" Raihan refuses to touch Zainab, she is still being overshadowed by Zahwa. And he wants Zahwa to be the first woman he touches.

"Mas.mas will sin if he does not give me an inner living, we are husband and wife mas.I AM YOUR WIFE." Zainab said with great affirmation.

How should I make you realize that Zahwa doesn't love you anymore.

Both Raihan's eyes widened, while Zainab had opened her hijab. Looking long black hair, the girl looks beautiful and charming.

"Za-Zainab!" Raihan swallowed his saliva, he was nervous to see that brave Zainab. But he also did not dare to refuse, weren't they already husband and wife?

Suddenly Zainab approached her husband and landed a kiss on Raihan's thin lips. "Mas.give me an inner living now, please."

Raihan was innocent, his body was shaking after getting that kiss from his wife. First kiss from Zainab. Raihan was stunned, he had only first gotten a sensation like this.

The foolishness he wanted to call the thirsty caress of a seductive man or woman, Zainab did not care because she only asked for her right as a wife.

The gaze of the two now met, Raihan kissed Zainab's lips back gently. Zainab put her hands around Raihan's neck.

Did Raihan repay me? Oh Allah...

While on the other hand, Raihan is not imagining being with Zainab, but he imagines the woman in front of him is Zahwa.

Zahwa, love you, Raihan said in his heart.

That night they did the union for the first time, after more than 10 days they married because Zainab was also still in her period.

*****

The next day, that morning Zahwa came out of his room along with Zayn who had also just come out of his room. He saw the look on Zahwa's face that was gloomy and not cheerful as usual.

"Zahwa."

"Huh? Yes brother? Good morning.." Zahwa said in a daze, like he didn't know what or how.

"Where are your hands?" asked Zayn while glancing at Zahwa's hand which still had a buffer cloth.

"Still sick, a little." she replied briefly.

"Well, what's the matter with Rey?"

The question only made Zahwa's eyes widen. What does it mean that her brother asked that? Does he know about love statements or kisses?

"W-What's wrong with Rey's sister? I-I don't know."

"Not to be covered again, I know. Rey said love is the same to you, right?" asked Zayn while looking at Zahwa.

"Sister! Don't you fucking talk about it." Zahwa patted his brother on the shoulder with his left hand.

"We talk in the back garden, yes, I'm afraid my mom is horrified" Zayn said, asking his sister to speak in the back garden.

The twins are now sitting in chairs facing each other, precisely in the back garden. Where there are sunflower plants grown by Amayra.

The two begin to talk about Rey's love for Zahwa. Zahwa started asking her brother questions first. "Sister, since when did you know that Rey's sister has that same feeling as me?"

"When you were in-"

Zayn was silent before finishing his speech, he did know Rey liked Zahwa since he saw Rey kissing Zahwa in the room while Zahwa was staying at the big house of Calabria. But how could he say that.

"When your wedding day failed" he said later, of course he lied.

"What's? So-so"

"What else does he say?"

"Sister Rey said that she loved me from the age of 13, but our brother is not a sister, it's impossible if suppose brother Rey likes me, right?" Zahwa tries to find justification from Zayn, that Rey is wrong and between him and the man there is nothing to do with him other than brother.

"Gini yes Zahwa, first.you are the same brother Rey there is no blood relation and secondly, there is no problem if you want to establish a relationship more and -"

"Sister! There's a problem, me and Rey's cousin." Zahwa immediately cut off Zayn's words.

"Zahwa, I used to talk.I haven't been right."

The girl was instantly speechless hearing the stern remark from her brother. Yes, this brother if you are serious again, if you are joking yes joking. This time, Zahwa felt that his brother was serious.

"And third, follow your heart. Want you to accept brother Rey or not, it's up to you.but honestly, brother likes Rey. We know him well, he's a good man and you know that. He is willing to do anything for you, especially when you are lost in the mountains. For your sake, for the sake of preparing a surprise for you he has to take a leave of absence, keep him from sleeping all night and that's right when you're gone. He's dancing for you endlessly in the rain, he loves you Zahwa so much."

Hearing her brother's words, Zahwa fell silent. I don't know what his heart is feeling right now. But the advice given by Zayn made him a little influential.

Rey really loves me? Oh Allah...

"Then how do you feel Zahwa? Do you love Rey? Or you haven't moved on from Raihan?"

Rey, I tried to help you.Hopefully Zahwa is aware of this. And it's up to you.

Strange, hearing Raihan's name just feels like it for Zahwa. Unlike the old days who pounded and immediately showed his best smile.

"Sister..."

Dreet....

Suddenly Zayn's phone rang, he saw who called him. Zayn looked at Zahwa for a moment and then exhaled, he picked up the phone.

"Waalaikumsalam Rey's..."

"Sister Rey?" zahwa whispered almost inaudible. He looked at his brother who was talking to Rey.

"Zahwa is there, here he is again sitting next to me" said Zayn as he glanced at Zahwa who had run into the house and Zayn did not notice. "Yes, he's gone inside the brother."

[Isn't Zayn okay?]

"He's still alive" she chuckled.

[Hem.] There was a sigh from across there.

"I didn't talk to Zahwa, did I,"

[Continues? How's it?]

"I think Zahwa has moved on from Raihan's brother and about the feeling he is the same brother.Sorry brother but still gray." That's how Zayn said he likes what is and according to the facts without using filters.

[Haahhhh.] Rey sighed softly.

"May I give you some advice? Brother should show sister's affection more closely," said Zayn gave advice.

[How?]

"Yes brother must pdkt,"

[I've been Pdkt, Zayn.]

"This PDkt is different brother, make pdkt brother not pdkt like sister and sister again, but pdkt like ta'aruf." explained Zayn to Rey.

Rey fell silent and thought hard. What does pdkt ta'aruf mean?

...*****...