A Cold Frozen Hearts

Eps. 46 Reasons, I'm Jealous

That night, it rained hard. Though there is no cloud cloud actually, for some reason the rain suddenly soaked the ground.

Nayla was sitting on her bed, strumming her guitar. The sound of the tone from the results of his guitar passages was competing with the heavy rain outside his room.

Raysa was standing at the door of the girl's room. His clothes were wet from the rain that hit him when the wind blew very hard.

He thought about the words of Aufal, which he had just heard. Then, he thought about his feelings that doubted the girl.

When her heart was empty, the girl filled the space of her heart bit by bit. The lonely and cold-hearted side that wants to make her warm up the girls days.

Nayla thought the same thing, the reason she was dishonest with her feelings. He kept repeating the same words to give an excuse.

Two lovebirds who are thinking about the same situation, it feels stupid to hurt each other with their own feelings. It felt like there was a very large wall in front of the two of them that was not climbable, could not be broken, and could not be destroyed.

“You're back in front of me, I really hope that. After you came back, but I doubted you many times, as if I was just in the middle of a real illusion. No, there is nothing less than that, that I have never been there for you to believe, for you to make a backrest for your grievances. I'm just jealous, and I'm actually afraid you're going away from me. And, finally, the relationship we both have now been in the misunderstanding we made together,” said Raysa sat up while standing and leaning her head on the wall of Nayla's room more precisely, behind Nayla, they just split between the walls.

Nayla closed her eyes, looking up. So many words in his head. There was a void in his heart, the rain as if it represented him to cry at that moment.

The rain had subsided, an hour ago. Raysa chose to sit by the girl's door, her wet clothes, and the cold atmosphere after the rain as if it was not felt by her.

Until time passed, Nayla still did not fall asleep when she tried to get out of her room, the figure of the man she knew was sitting and sleeping while leaning against the wall.

His eyes filled with love and affection saw the man's face. Maybe, all this time he's been hiding his feelings. There was a reason behind it, her tears were held in her pretty eyes, while rubbing the cheek of the sleeping man.

Nayla felt, if the man's body felt warm like he was getting a fever.

“Why did you come here, your clothes are also wet,” said Nayla.

The man—Raysa woke up.

“I... i..”.

“Come in first, your body is so warm. I don't think you can have a fever,” Nayla said as she helped the man stand up and get inside his room.

The man on his help walked towards his bed. From inside his closet, he brought out some of his t-shirts and sweatpants.

“Can you change clothes first?” ask Nayla while giving her clothes. “I can't..”.

“I can't,” said Raysa as if teasing the girl.

Nayla's face turned red, how could the man before her was teasing her, while in the room there were only the two of them.

“Aren't you going to help me take my clothes off? Do you want to make me sicker?” raysa asked with a cunning smile engraved as if she was very, very eager to prank and seduce the girl of his tribe.

Even though they have shared their feelings with each other, their relationship has never been more than just a hug. Never passed from that level.

Nayla closed her eyes, not daring to look at the man who was taking off his clothes. Raysa saw the face of the girl who was in his prank, this time his ignorance really made him smile.

“Let me alone, may my head be released because you close your eyes like that,” said Raysa.

Raysa's body temperature is above normal, very hot, his body is shivering violently. Nayla takes the water and tries to bring down Raysa's fever and gives her sleeping pills, so the man goes to sleep.

Such a shady face, such dense eyelashes, such fine hair, such a pointed nose, Nayla stared continuously.

“I... came..really to see you,” said Nayla as she rubbed the girl's cheek.

Without Nayla realizing the man had woken up.

“Cold me, you warmed it up to make me what I am now. I wanted to find some reason not to come see you again because I was afraid that if I came you wouldn't accept me, or you'd be with someone else, but I really can't help myself if I want to meet you,” Nayla said softly as she dyed the man's hair.

“Even if you don't believe, I love you and hurt my heart but I still want to stay here,” Nayla said as she stared at Raysa's face.

“If it is like that, stay by my side,” Raysa said as she opened her eyes.

Nayla was surprised, because the man she thought was asleep was awake and heard what she had just said.

“Not you..”

“Stay beside me, please.” said Raysa while lowering his head.

Raysa's hair was so fine, it was awakening in the chest of the girl's. Feel the despair, hope, sadness of his behavior.

“Times, I wonder if I suspect you, or if I don't believe you it's not true. In fact, I was just jealous,” said Raysa in a soft tone full of sadness. “I'm jealous of that guy, he came earlier than me, he knows more about you, he was by your side when you were sick. I couldn't control how I felt right then,”

Raysa looked at the girl's face.

“I'm just jealous, not distrusting you,” Raysa said as she stared lovingly at the girl before her.

That look, touching Nayla's innermost heart, was so uncontrollable. In his kiss gently the forehead belonged to the man.

“Because he knows me longer,” said Nayla with a smile. “We have shared a taste in the past, I told a lot about me to him,” said Nayla.

“If you were the one who met me before him, then he will replace your current position. I wouldn't have met you, if he hadn't been present at the beginning,”

“Why envy about my story with him? He's just the past, nothing more than the person who once had my heart. The most important thing is how to carve out the future with new colors, and a new story,”

“If you ask me again why, I want to love you in my own way, if I tell you, I'm the one who got hurt in the end because of your marriage. Would anything have changed, if I had said it back then? Aufal's marriage, enough to torment me for a long time, keeping myself from getting hurt is self-defense,”

The man was still with his activity leaning his head on the chest of Nayla listening to every sentence that came out of the little lips of her girl puja.

“Will anything change if I say if I like you, eventually you choose to stay married to her,”

“In fact, when you read about the expression of my feelings in my book, you still want to continue the marriage. And, is there anything different if from the beginning I admit it?”

No words came out of the man's mouth. He was immersed with hundreds of words Nayla explained. He justifies, and also thinks of the past.