The Pledge of Love Embroidered Heaven

CHAPTER 52. 'Andai'

Prioritize him who loves you more and wants to always make you smile happily. The only focus on you is not someone else. Look for a man who loves enough with one woman than one who says he loves you but prefers to play with more than one woman.

This morning I woke up with a very heavy head, as if there was a tightrope in my head.

At 05:07 no one woke me up to perform the morning prayers. I glanced next to the bed. Blank.

Now I feel empty. I remember how screwed I was last night. I cried all night, now my eyes are still swollen.

I've never cried like that before. I never cried before and woke up with this sick face and head.

I scrolled the phone screen pressing the lock pin, looking at WhatsApp messages. No messages came in. There are only class groups that are busy reviewing school assignments and national exam issues.

I quickly put the phone back and walked to fetch water, perform dawn prayers. By ourselves. Azzam isn't there tonight. It is still clearly implied in my eyes, how disappointed Azzam.

I ended my prayer with tears, after crying out for forgiveness for my own negligence and sins. I have failed to fulfill my duties as a wife. As a wife who is supposed to give what is the right of a husband.

After the prayer, I was silent for a few seconds imagining when I kissed Azzam's hand, then he kissed me back on my forehead.

My eyes glazed. There was a pain and pain that slowly came upon me. The regret came back in my heart. There are many things I want to do. Many suppositions want to be repeated until all does not happen so.

I was heavy. The mind is still raging.

Why did my heart come this far to realize a feeling. A feeling called 'love' of the Most Loving.

***

Azzam looked at a picture of himself with his wife. Azzam's eye shadow implied there was still disappointment, pain and hurt. Last night, he decided to sleep while at home. Azzam still needs time to calm down.

Especially last night the pain generally relapses. Umi has long been suffering from acid reflux disease that has been very chronic, but last night the symptoms were different again. Umi said you had a tight chest. It's hard to breathe.

Now Azzam is still trying to organize his thoughts. For him right now, love may be destruction. Qorun died because of his love for property, as did Phir'aun who was drowned by his love for position. Until there is anxiety about excessive love for him.

The creator had perfected half of his religion with a woman far below Azzam, and more still in the immediate family. Actually the world is not that small. Just meeting that guy.

But the feeling brought Azzam to another state, accustomed to both in the course of the day. Make other feelings grow. Azzam had liked his own brother who still had blood ties. Azzam recalled the beginning he harbored that feeling with Dhanisa.

He said the highest level of falling in love is that it is lovemaking. But the test will be even higher when God has united but wants to separate. Like Azzam and Dhanisa, perhaps God granted Azzam's request to be with his chosen woman.

Honestly, the beginning of his life was too afraid, making his wife disappointed because he was present not as a man who was expected to be a life companion for Dhanisa. He once said that.

Azzam could not blame his wife entirely for wanting to be in a relationship with a classmate, despite being the wife of another. He understood now that his presence was not expected by Dhanisa. He is not the man his wife wants. He knew he could not be a good priest. Azzam believed that there was no perfect man as a husband after the death of the Prophet. If a woman is looking for the perfect then even the apocalypse will never stop comparing her.

Isn't the husband's job like a captain on a ship? Then where the ship will sail when it will face a small storm is no longer powerful.

From the doorway of the room, Umi slightly peeked at what her youngest child was doing in the room. He was still looking at the photo wrapped in a gold frame.

Umi Salamah felt guilty about all this, including about her marriage because she asked to decide that Azzam could marry Dhanisa. But when Umi finds out that her son is currently hurting. He also bears the burden of guilt. Had Ahsan's request not been responded to so much it might not have happened.

Umi held her chest that felt tight, she returned difficult to support the air. His hands grabbed the wall, trying to balance the body while holding the chest.

Soraya's sister who had just come out of the room caught a strange girly uminya, immediately ran and approached. Trying to hold the body of the umi so as not to fall backward.

"Umi, umi why?" soraya asked worried about uminya.

Umi Salamah felt her joints were weak and no longer able to concentrate her body, until she slumped her body down.

"Ride, umi..." Soraya tried to hold the mother's body. He forced her to sit her on the floor. "Change! Abah!" yelled Soraya from outside.

From inside the room, Azzam's ears caught a commotion from outside. He shuffled from the edge of the bed and found the door of his room slightly open. While in front of the doorway there is a body of Umi who sits limp in the lap of Kak Soraya.

"Umi why, sister?" azzam asked crouching holding his umi hand.

"No idea, Zam. It was umi suddenly collapsed lucky I quickly manahan his body so as not to fall," short Brother Soraya.

"Why, Soraya?" asked Abah who came from the terrace of the house. After that the tail of his eyes dropped on the woman he saw was weak.

"We should just take umi to the hospital, Abah," said Azzam, rubbing his mother's forehead.

Umi was still unconscious, only she felt her body so weak. But his lips are very pale.

Abah carried his wife's body. "Azzam get the car ready!" abah's orders.

Azzam quickly took his car keys and headed to the garage to pull out a white sedan.

Sis Soraya helped open the back car door for the brother who carried his uminya.

The sister looked worried about her mother's condition. After the car door is closed. Azzam turned on the engine and stepped on the accelerator to the hospital.

Sometimes Azzam saw the condition of his mother through the reflection of a car mirror. Umi's eyes closed, in the lap of abah.

May Umi stay in good condition, her mind.

The journey to the hospital takes about 18 minutes.

***

At the hospital, doctors began to examine the condition of the Umi. Abah is inside accompanying Umi. Azzam stood outside then led to sit down to the waiting chair. He leaned back. Squeezing both fingers with his head down. There was a feeling of worry that overwhelmed him.

"Lho, is Mas Azzam here?" the voice of the greeting woman caught his ear.

Azzam looked up at the hijab-wearing woman and wore a white coat in front of her. He must have known the woman very well.

"Sarah" said Azzam.

Sarah sat next to Azzam. "What's wrong? Who are you here with?" Sarah looked left and right, then looked back at Azzam's confused face.

"I'm here with—"

"Together with your wife, right?" cut Sarah. "You wanna check?" guess Sarah's happy.

Azzam frowned. "Check?"

"Yes. Positive or not." Sarah laughed softly while covering her mouth with a palm.

Azzam laughed. Even so, of course, it was a very happy thing for Azzam. Imagine when his wife is pregnant with the fruit of their love, but it may be only wishful thinking so high.

Sarah looked at Azzam looking ahead. Sarah was afraid that what she said was wrong. Why Azzam was silent.

"Sorry, Mas. You why?" ask Sarah.

Azzam took a breath. "No. I came here with umi and abah. I was waiting for the condition of the umi inside."

Sarah looked towards Melati's nursing room whose door was closed.

"You, why are you here too?" Azzam looked at Sarah.

"Oh that, I'm back working as a doctor here according to my early profession."

"Medicine majors deserve you to work in a hospital, devote yourself to the community that needs your treatment. Treating the sick is a noble thing. Then what about your boutique business?" asked Azzam while slightly confirming the position of his glasses.

"Boutique business is still running, but it's not entirely me who takes care of it but Aunt Arini. Being a doctor is certainly busy not playing to serve patients. So, I won't be able to take part in monitoring my boutique, so I'm handing it over to Aunt Arini."

"How areyou? Healthy?"

"Alhamdulillah" Azzam's smile.

The man in front of him is so handsome. Sarah realized that. His eyes were still observing Azzam's face. Without realizing Sarah smiled, for a long time he looked while bringing calm in Sarah's heart.

Azzam slightly shifted his sitting position to see Sarah. "I wonder what made you want to go back to being a doctor. It's not like you said you ever kept a bitter memory of the doctor."

After graduating from medical school, Sarah worked in the hospital for several months. Until he met a male figure who is also a profession with him. At that time, Sarah was still an intern while the man was already a doctor staying in the hospital. His name is Dr. Gabriel. He has studied and been guided by Dr. Gabriel during his practice.

Initially Sarah refused when Doctor Gabriel asked her to date, because Sarah was committed after establishing her intention to move after graduation, she committed not to date and to get to know each other she chose the ta'aruf path. Doctor Gabriel understands, the end of two weeks of ta'aruf. Gabriel came to propose to Sarah.

Sarah was so happy, she was sure that Gabriel loved her sincerely and would soon allow Sarah to be his wife. But Sarah guessed wrong. Right on the day of the wedding Gabriel did come after 2 hours of waiting. He came along with the woman he was said to be marrying that day. It is the most painful thing to be betrayed on the day of marriage.

"Yes. I think that by getting out of that profession I can forget that painful thing. But, I was thinking about the science that I had gained during college I didn't practice."

Sarah was silent after that, if you know Mas, who made me choose to take this field of medicine after the completion of S-1. Ye. You convinced me. Sarah ingrained.

Flashback....

Remembering the events and conversations of that time, four years ago. It is as if God had laid the earth upon Sarah's head as punishment. That night it should have said everything. He said he was the only one I had.

That day, the Forum Study Islamic Campus, chaired by Azzam, held Tafakur Alam with other members of the Islamic study forum.

"How did everything get put on the bus?" ask Azzam.

"It has. Everything is ready" Enggar said.

The dinar came after approaching their forum chairman. "Sister, the driver said he was leaving because he was after curfew too."

Azzam saw the clock. "Yes we're up now."

One by one, students get on the bus. Fill every seat.

"Where is Sarah?" Dinar asks Sarah to Rani who is sitting side by side.

"Where do I know. He said he'd come."

The car engine starts grinning, the car is about to leave.

Dinar stood up and approached the bus driver. "Sir! Sir wait a minute, our friend is one behind."

"But, we must have left by now mbak, this alone has been 30 minutes we delay departure."

"After a while, sir. I'm sure my friend will be here soon" Pinta Dinar pleaded.

"What's wrong?" Azzam came to Dinar, when he heard Dinar and the bus driver arguing.

"Ahm this Brother. Sarah has not yet come" replied Dinar, as his elder brother came over. "Sister, tell the driver's father not to leave first." Please Dinar at Azzam.

"Yes, let me talk. You can sit down again."

Dinar went away and sat back in his seat, he was a little calm, at least Azzam could help him who could mediate with the driver.

"Sir, give me 3 more minutes. We can leave later."

The driver nodded.

Not even a minute, after Azzam spoke. Sarah came on the bus with a big breath. "Assalamu'alaikum's chat. Sorry, sister, I'm late."

Azzam frowned afterwards. "Wa'alaikumsalam's chat. Almost you we live. Two minutes the bus will be leaving."

"Yes Brother."

"Yes now you can sit down. There are plenty of seats available."

Sarah sat on seat number five from the front. After all the students were confirmed complete, 15 buses began to walk away from the campus.

Azzam walked towards his chair. He sat next to Sarah. An incredible nervousness for Sarah can be close to the elder brother. Sarah sat in a tense position. If he knew next to him was Azzam, he would definitely not choose that chair.

The car went a long way. Azzam took out a package of bread from his bag.

"Take this." Azzam offered a loaf of bread to Sarah.

Sarah silently looked at Azzam for a few seconds, then shook her head. "No need, brother"

Azzam took his hand and placed the bread in Sarah's palm. "Not to be shy."

Sarah smiled shyly.

"Why were you late?"

"That's Sister, I got an invitation from school to attend my sister's school meeting, so it's late" she grinned.

"Why should you?"

"Yes, it must be because it is impossible for my parents to come because they are far away in the village. We just wander here" explained Sarah briefly, densely and clearly.

Azzam knew who the members of his forum were. His names are also memorized only he does not know the background of each. Sure oes. There's no way he'd ask any of those members about their lives.

Activities that should have been fun turned into nightmares. When being turned sharply, the bus tries to avoid collisions with the motor from the opposite direction. The bus couldn't hold its pace, it ended up crashing into a tree, lucky the bus didn't plunge into the abyss. Some of the passengers had no serious injuries just blisters.

Azzam, who was sitting near the window of the car, hit his head hard, causing a wound on his head.

"Are you okay?" azzam asked when he saw Sarah was scared. It was completely shocked, the heart like it stopped beating. Sarah even thought that she was already in another realm. But Azzam's voice rebukes him, making Sarah aware that she is still in the natural world.

Sarah looks. "Ti.. It's okay." Sarah saw blood running down Azzam's forehead.

"Sir, his forehead is bleeding. I'll take the red medicine soon." With trembling hands Sarah opened her bag and looked for red medicine, in fact she was still in shock.

Sarah begins to treat Azzam's wounds, which are not too severe. But still it's worrying because it's bleeding.

Azzam witnessed everything Sarah did. "You're fit to be a doctor"

"What is it, brother?" sarah asked as she placed the plaster on Azzam's forehead.

"Because you are deft, a doctor will be so quick to handle his patients" said Azzam.

"If I were a doctor. Means Brother was my first patient" Sarah added.

Flashback....

Doctors are always required to think logically and critically in diagnosing based on the results of the examination and definite symptoms. But is he capable of diagnosing his current state.

"How is life. It's okay, right?"

Azzam did not agree nor did he deny. He just smiled bitterly. It might not be foreign for Azzam to tell everything to Sarah.

"Mas, okay?" ask Sarah back.

Azzam sighed loudly.

"I'm actually having trouble with my wife. Maybe our story is a little similar, but I know about the hurt you felt, when you told me in the boutique back then about your future husband who chose to marry another woman."

"Then what does my story have to do with your problems?"

"Two months of our marriage, it turns out my wife is still in a close relationship with another man, whom she calls a boyfriend. I was shocked too and I only found out after my coworkers told me."

Sarah also sympathized with hearing Azzam's story. Sarah knew what her sister felt.

"I understand how Mas is feeling right now," Sarah looked at the man weakly. As weak as her inner current was, why did she used to be a timid and weak woman. Why wouldn't he be so forthright if he started harboring one feeling. But one that Sarah regrets is fearing she misrespected her feelings.

But maybe God has another way for him. Five more years apart and fate brings Sarah reunited with Azzam.

Is this the second chance God has given her??

***

SKIPS