The Pledge of Love Embroidered Heaven

CHAPTER 26. Amnesia Drama

The cool air conditioner greets the skin when the door is first opened. Umi, who had just entered to bring food, slowly approached her daughter-in-law who was still lying in the middle of the bed. Part of her body was covered in a cream-colored blanket. From the look of his face he seemed to have begun to improve, unlike the first time Azzam carried his body home with paled lips.

“Nisa” call umi.

“Nisa wake up, Nak.” Umi shook her daughter-in-law's shoulder slowly.

The brown-eyed woman began to show a reaction. His eyes blinked slowly, followed by the movement of his two eyelids that slowly opened, although it seemed heavy. The initial view is a little blur when staring at the ceiling plate of the house. Before long the look was fixed on the woman sitting next to him.

“Eat, Nak.”

The eardrum first caught the sound of Umi stroking her cheek.

I got up and shuffled to sit while holding the forehead that felt a little throbbing. My eyes looked deeply at the middle-aged woman I called umi. The quiet, gentle carrying of the Umi makes me always feel comfortable when near it. Sometimes it makes me miss my mother.

“Umi.”

He throws a thin smile.

“Come, lunch first.”

My eyes were piled on the breakfast the Umi put on the nightstand. Then I spread that view to exactly another. I realized I was in my own room now. Inadvertently the eyes caught the reflection of my shadow still wearing the school uniform from the glass lemarin clothes. My eyes were trailing towards the clock on the nightstand. At 12.45. I retracted my memories of the events that happened before.

“Nisa, what are you thinking?” Umi broke my memory.

“Umi, shouldn't Nisa be in school?”

“Nisa passed out earlier in school.”

“Keep, if fainted in school. Why did you suddenly get home?” tanyaku plain.

“Azzam who brought Nisa home. Doctor said at school, Nisa told to rest at home.”

“Where are you now?”

“Barusan earlier after dzuhur prayer. He went back to school, he said there were still hours to teach. Eat him back again.”

I'm nodding.

“Nah, eat first.” Umi gave a plate of rice.

Maybe the food tastes good and delicious in healthy people. But this time I think my stomach and tongue are working together to refuse the food. There is absolutely no desire for me to eat right now. I welcome the rice dish given by Umi, but I put it again in its original place.

“Lho why put again? Not eaten?” ask me confused.

“Nisa has not been in the mood to eat Umi.”

Umi.

“Do need Umi call again Azzam so that he who comes to feed eat Nisa?”

“IHH! Don't Umi, my brother has come here, back to school and back here again,” said I refused.

“Enhance it. Eaten now, already it's taking medicine.”

I finally gave in and took back the food I had put down.

“Then Umi to the kitchen first, earlier Umi make cake dough because,” said Umi, then rise from his seat. “Umi stay first. Eat a lot,” the message again.

Just how many seconds Umi turned back her steps and whispered into my ear so softly. “If Nisa knows, Azzam was very worried about Nisa earlier.”

A moment of my hand stopped the bribe.

Umi Salamah left the room. With a slight tremble my hand put the plate back on the nightstand. I let out a long breath. My thoughts led me to several events about what I had been through. About Azzam, Azzam's attitude and treatment of me all this time. He is a good man and will always be good. Sometimes I think that Azzam should not have to accept the fate of this match, at the very end of which he will be tormented as well as I am. Honestly I love him, but the affection that is present is only limited to brothers and sisters who need each other and protect each other. Sometimes I feel unworthy to be compared to a man like him, but life does not always go smoothly according to what we want, he said, because man has a God who has arranged the scenario may even be much more beautiful than what man wants.

I lay my body back on the bed without caring that the sweat started to drift because it had not changed clothes. Right now my mind is drifting in an uncertain direction about feelings I can't explain, about attitudes that are hard to unravel.

Suddenly my memory was thrown back at the words of Abang Azzam after ijab qabul 'I accept this all because Allah subhanahuwata’ala. We ijab qabul means that brother is destined to be a match with Nisa. That's what you mean by God. If God does not allow it, we will not marry. Brother only wants one day Nisa can be sincere. I accept my brother as husband.'

I exhaled a tired breath. Really tired.

In my heart I asked, can I build that feeling of love? What if I really can't. Everyone wants to get married. Building a household life of sakinah, mawaddah and warahmah.

People always have hope of building a loving household like the house of the Prophet with Khadijah bint Khuwailid, Ummul Mukminin or the sweetness of love struggle as felt by Fatimah Azzahra with her beloved husband Ali bin Abi Talib. Azzam has fought for his feelings to get that love from me. I realized it was from his attitude all along.

Arrgghhhhh! That thought made me feel pain in my head. I let out a rough sigh, then brushed aside my blanket violently. Not wanting to drag on I quickly set foot into the bathroom. I wish the cold water would cool my mind for a moment.

***

Wrestling with mattresses and blankets will only make the body droop. I had to do something so as not to get bored and stressed. This is the worst disease I have ever suffered.

If I remember how protective Hamidah's mother was, my adoptive mother always told me to take a complete break after a motorcycle accident when she was spotted Kak Farid─Kak Farid was my playmate at SMP─, but how else, how else, I was really bored and couldn't help myself. Finally with the head still bandaged and hands mounted arm sling I jumped out through the window to be able to play with friends one complex.

Hamidah's mother, who happened to check into the room, and did not meet me there, became furious. He walked around the complex calling my name using TOA so I could hear his call to come home soon. I sometimes laugh at myself if I remember my behavior ha-ha-ha.

And until this moment, the authority of Bu Hamidah still dominates. He always had the power to rule my life. One of the proofs is this. He insisted that I marry Abang Azzam. While Uncle Hamzah─my adopted father, he was like a colonized people always follow this and that was the will of his wife. Whereas all this time I could only hope to take refuge behind the meek nature of Uncle Hamzah.

I shook my hand to dispel all my recollections of the wayward ascetic I was as a child. Although now it is actually still carried away a little - a little.

“Umi. Umi is definitely in the kitchen. A hobby of cooking.”

An idea came. This clock must be umi is struggling in the kitchen. I dragged my feet into the kitchen. Today I want to learn to cook with Umi.

“Umi, umi what are you doing?” My hands were tightly coiled around her waist which seemed to be still busy stirring vegetable soup.

“This, indeed Nisa did not see?”

I chuckle.

“Umi after that want to cook what else?” I asked by throwing eggs into the air that I took from a small container.

“Ih, do not throw it later fall to the floor,” exclaimed Umi. “Umi, stay to fry eggs ceplok.”

“Liar Nisa, Umi,” said I offer myself.

I took a frying pan and put in a few tablespoons of oil. After the heat, I started putting the plugged eggs into the pan. A small burst of sounds appeared not long after the egg landed in the boiling oil. Although the splashes of oil jumping out of the pan were not as bad as when I learned to fry fish it still scared me. Afraid the hot oil will hit the face.

“Umi, this is like cooking,” I said to umi who was arranging some dishes that had been successfully cooked earlier.

Umi came closer.

“Iya Nisa, this is cooking. Nisa can lift it?”

I nodded, a sign that I could do what Umi ordered. A few minutes a number of foods that have been served at the dinner table plus with eggs ceplok that I just fried with extra energy, understand the first time I fried eggs became ribet itself.

“Alhamdulillah is finally done as well. Umi, thank you for teaching Nisa to cook. Nisa love Umi,” I said while kissing her cheek.

How excited I am because I managed to cook, fortunately there is Umi who wants to be her teacher.

“Iya, Umi also dear Nisa.”

Umi did not want to lose to see the daughter-in-law so happy because she had managed to cook.

“Wa’alaikumsalam,” says umi.

“That's like Azzam's brother huh Umi?” my many.

Umi turned her head and hit my arm slowly.

“Nisa, have a month more sleep one room with Azzam, still not familiar with the voice of her own husband?" Umi nodded her head.

“Umi, want help Nisa not?” askaku approached the side of the umi that still move the vegetable soup into a small container.

“What?”

“Umi, Nisa wants to invite Umi to work together,”, I said while raising my eyebrows.

“Cooperation, what?”

“Nisa wants to play Abang Azzam, with Nisa playing a show pretending to forget everything, like amnesia?”

Umi looked at him with her eyes wide open. “Nisa, it's not good to know your husband so!”

“IH! Umi, just this once, huh?” I said beg.

Umi nodded, sign agreed.

I smiled cheerfully.

“Nisa with Umi here apparently,” said Azzam who just came with a towel already coiled around his neck getting ready to take a shower.

I immediately took a position, pretending to take rice from the rice cooker to be moved into the container. I stole a glance at Brother Azzam was walking closer to me.

“Nisa!” He greeted me from behind. “Nisa, how is it healthy?”

I was still busy with the rice cooker I used to take the rice from the rice cooker. Until he has not answered the question.

“Nisa?” He greeted me again.

I'm turning. “You know my name?”

Azzam frowned, trying to digest what I said.

“Tau name? Meaning?” Azzam put on a confused look.

“Iya, even though we just met and met face to face this time but you already know my name.”

Heard that sentence. I saw Azzam's forehead forming small folds, still not understanding my words. Azzam turned my body around so he could look at me freely.

“Hey, look brother, Nisa was married to brother and became brother's wife. Here's the proof.” He raised his hand which coiled a ring on his ring finger.

I slowly raised my palm as well.

“But why doesn't Nisa have one?” I said after observing my ring finger not curling the ring like it.

Azzam breathed heavily.

“Nisa!” he held both of my shoulders. “Nisa indeed never used the ring because Nisa ...” Azzam did not continue his sentence. But he turned to look at Umi.

“Why, what?” tanyaku.

“Don't talk here. Come with Brother.”

Without waiting for the answer to come out of my mouth. Azzam immediately pulled my hand, taking me to the room. I just follow through. Azzam told me to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Why are we even here? Why didn't you answer my question?”

In my heart I was actually chuckling.

Azzam got up from his seat.

“Astagfirullahaladzim.” His lips always held a dhikr.

He seemed to be biting his fingertips, a sign of anxiety.

“How can it be like this? Doctor Fredy said he was fine,” murmured slowly, but I could still faintly hear what he was saying.

Suddenly he pulled my hand. “Nisa, we're going to the hospital now!”

I stood up and let go of her arms. “Why? I'm doing fine. I'm healthy."

Azzam sat me back on the edge of the bed and Azzam sat down afterwards. I saw his face riled up.

“Nisa,” call her while looking at me fixedly. His hand was pointed at my forehead. He got rid of the bangs covering my forehead.

I just kept quiet to see what he was doing.

A moment later Azzam cupped both of my cheeks, stroked them slowly and then fused our foreheads together. The treatment just surprised me. My heart rhythm started beating irregularly.

Azzam put his head back away. He threw his eyes the other way.

“Abang should be how, Nisa? You have to know how to make Nisa understand that you love Nisa. Brother loved Nisa long before you knew that we were going to be betrothed like this."

Azzam took a breath and exhaled slowly.

"At first Abang himself also did not understand about the feelings of Brother. Brother went to college with this feeling until his brother came home still carries the same feeling. At first I prayed that if we were a match, we would meet and be reunited, but if not, I sincerely asked God to give me the best way,” obviously Abang Azzam who somehow managed to make my heart beat great, my heart works more extra.

Again he turned to look me in the eye. The corner of his lips lifted, forming a thin smile arch.

Of love? Love feelings? Azzam kept that feeling for a long time even long before he decided to go to Egypt. But I never realized that feeling. I'm just ordinary. I guess we're always joking, joking, cheating on each other, caring about each other. Yes, I consider it only limited to the feelings of love and affection of an older brother cousin with his younger sister. Not more. Why could he build up such an exaggerated feeling, I continued to deepen.

I'm still glued, haven't responded to anything.

Azzam's confession made me look at him differently. For the first time I looked at him like a man who wanted to tell me how much Azzam loved me.

“Wait!” my voice perfectly locked Azzam's footsteps when he was about to leave the room.

“Where are you going?”

“Abang wants to come out, calm down,” he replied by rolling his eyes in the other direction.

“Which you know, does this woman you call a wife also love you?”

My question, made Abang Azzam turn his body back.

“Love can turn bitter into sweet, sweet into clear, pain into healing, prison into a well, suffering into favors, and anger into grace. Love is a mercy from God that is revealed to the hearts of men. If the brother's wife has not been able to love the brother, then Allah has not wanted the grace to be poured out for us.”

Azzam paused for a moment. “But my brother always believed that Allah is the One who turns over one's heart. When we give up something and give up risking our future to Him. Then Allah will replace it with something better and the promise of Allah is sure. I am sure one day God will keep his promise by presenting the feeling of love from my brother's wife in a way that is much more beautiful, more beautiful than the way my brother presents love for my brother's wife.”

I was silent to hear the words that came out of his mouth. I locked my mouth. Not a single word came out of my mouth unable to reply.