The Life of Introverted Girls

276

Syifa squeezed her chest which felt tight. The silhouette of the memory six years ago rotated back in his mind like a movie roller played.

The cruelty and vile accusation that came from the mouth of her husband as if she was an immoral woman, that is what always watered Syifa's heart.

Sick !!. Six years he tried to forget all the pain he was suffering turned out to have to be present again. The painstaking wounds he healed, in fact, had to be scratched back.

" Why do you have to come back, brother !! I've been running from you so far, but you're coming anyway. Sia in vain my sacrifice, took the sin for six years by going without the pleasure of you "Gumam syifa lirih held back his sobbing.

The petite woman fell down in the corner of her room. He hides his head between his knees. Really, his defense from earlier to look cold and ordinary was ordinary, collapsing. Turns out he's not as loud as he looks.

" It hurts, brother !! I hate this day !! Why come again, brother !! " Isakan Syifa sounds sad.

The usual flat and cold face, now looks very sad with eyes full of wounds.Grinkle of tears, decay flooding his cheeks.

" I hate you, brother !! I hate you !! " the stranglehold in the heart while hitting his chest that feels tight.

He wanted her to scream with all her might so that the tightness in her chest was reduced. But his consciousness still dominates him. He realized that if he shouted, it would cause a question from his little son. He did not want to look pitiful in his son's eyes. He wants his son to always be happy.

" Athaghfirah is the haladzim !! " Syifa said Istigfar repeatedly after a while drowning in her weeping of pain.

Syifa looked up at the small clock above her bedroom nightstand. The hour hand shows at half six in the afternoon.

" O Allah, how long have I wept" murmured Shifa. Slowly he lifted his body up to his feet.Suppressed his hearing senses heard a giggling sound from the front porch.

The voice is the voice of the son alone puppet who collided with the voice of an adult man who sometimes broke loose.

Syifa sat down on the edge of the bed and fell. " It turned out that Zian was very happy with the presence of the man. I haven't heard Zian laugh in a long time "

Tok

Tok

Tok

" Your !! Ahdan is going home !! He wanted to say goodbye to Umi !! " The screeches of his Son accompanied by a knock on the door of the room jerked at Syifa's daydream.

Gegas Syifa wiped her tears and then shouted without opening the room door.

" Yes, son.Say Om Ahdan just go home !! Umi just took a shower !! " pekik Syifa's.

" okay. Mi !! " Squeak Zian while running back to the terrace.

***

" So that Ahdan Om, Umi's friend huh, Mi ?? You know, Zian had brought here before, "Switch Zian arrived when they were enjoying their dinner.

Syifa. " Oh Ahdan .eeh.iiya "

Fatimah who heard the conversation of the mother and child frowned. " Om Ahdan Zian's friend ?? "

" Yes, mother. It turns out Om Ahdan was Umi's friend. Om Ahdan came here to play with Zian. Om Ahdan promises Zian, Om Ahdan will come every day playing with Zian "Cercos Zian with a sparkling face.

Fatimah glanced at Syifa with a mimic full of questions.She looked at her adopted sister's face, and she realized Syifa's eyes look swollen.

" Is there anything to tell the deck ?? "

Syifa took a breath and nodded slowly.

" If Om Ahdan was Abinya Zian. Zian will definitely be very happy, Mi !!"

" Deg "Syifa's heart hit her chest hard at the sound of Zian's voice that looked very enthusiastic when saying that. His eyes kept a million in there.

" Om Ahdan is very kind and attentive to Zian, Mi. Every time Zian finished praying Isya Om Ahdan drove Zian home. Or if Zian practices karate, Om Ahdan must accompany Zian. Zian so feel have Abi deh, Bund " Imbuh Zian again while looking at Mother Fatimah with sparkling eyes. The curvature of his lips formed a wide smile.

Syifa who heard the words from her son increasingly felt gambled. Implied uneasiness from her beautiful face.

" Zian, finish the food, baby. Then do your schoolwork !! " Syifa's word is soft on the child's mere puppet.He is not ready to respond to every speech of his child.

" Yes, Mi "Zian bowed. At first glance his face looks sad to hear the word of the mother. It was as if there was disappointment to see Uminya not responding to his words earlier.

***

" Have you cried ??" Get Fatimah again.

Syifa glanced at the door of her son's tightly closed room.

" It is better to talk on the back porch, Sis " Said Syifa while getting up and walking towards the back porch and followed by Fatimah.

Syifa breathed heavily after sitting opposite Fatimah on the porch seat.

" Sister.ternyata Om Ahdan who meant Zian is - "Syifa paused his speech and threw his gaze towards the garden behind his house.

Fatimah scrunched her forehead waiting for the continuation of Syifa's speech.

" Him Abinya Zian Kak "Lirih Syifa's voice managed to make Fatimah surprised.

" Abi ?? Zian's brother ?? " Beo Fatimah was shocked.

Syifa nodded weakly and bowed her head.

" Mak means Mr Ahdan is your ex-husband ?? " Cecar Fatimah with her surprise.

" He's still my legal husband brother. He's not an ex yet. He has not divorced me "Shyifa muttered out Fatimah's response.

" Athaghfirullah's. So you're not divorced from Abinya Zian, deck ?? "

Fatimah was surprised by Syifa's statement. All this time he did not know how the true story of Syifa. He did not want to ask Syifa who he considered it was the privacy of Syifa. He did not want to exceed his mere capacity as a person who was being helped by that kind-hearted woman.

Syifa nodded weakly. " And he found me brother !! "

" Well, I feel that Mr. Ahdan's face is no stranger to me. It turned out that he was indeed very similar to Zian "Inner Fatimah.

" But why, deck ?? " Task Fatimah.

Syifa took her breath back and told Fatimah everything, how she was desperate to leave her husband with the status of still officially being the wife of a man named Maliq Ahdan.

" I'm scared, brother. I was afraid that Zian would be devastated to learn that the man he considered a good man and loved him, was once a person who refused his presence "

" I'm afraid Zian will feel like an unwanted child. I was also very afraid that Zian would hate his father "Isaac Syifa and then cover his face with both hands.

Fatimah rubbed Syifa's shoulder softly.

" But he has come to beg your forgiveness, deck !! Don't you want to forgive her ?? " The heart of Fatimah speaks her words. He was afraid Syifa would get even more depressed.

Syifa raised her face.

" But here it still hurts, Brother "greatened Syifa's voice while pointing at her chest.

" As long as I'm married to him, I always keep my marwah as his wife. But what I got, brother. She accused me so vilely as if I was an immoral woman. I'm sick sister. And it hurts even more, when he doesn't admit his son "

" Maybe if it's just his cruel accusation to me, I can forgive him right now. But what I didn't accept, when he didn't recognize Zian as his son. I was devastated then, brother. That is what makes me feel compelled to take away my sin by leaving my rightful husband "

Fatimah had a clear net full of the wound.

" What if Zian finds out that Mr. Ahdan is his Abinya, and he accepts it with pleasure. What are you doing, deck ?? Can you break Zian's happiness ?? " Tanya Fatimah arrived after some silence.

Syifa was surprised to hear Fatimah's question. He was stunned for a moment.

" Is that possible, brother ?? Would Zian forgive his Abinya if he knew that his Abinya had not confessed ??" Syifa answered Fatimah with a question.

Fatimah nodded. " Sister doesn't know either, deck. But many of you have much advice to ask God for guidance. Eliminate the grudges that pollute your heart. Because everything that happens in our lives is God's will to test our faith and belief in Him " Fatimah said gently as she touched Syifa's shoulder to give strength to the woman she had considered a sister.

" Sister doesn't know how you are feeling right now and sister also doesn't know what you've been through all this time. But as you know, sister brother is a wise woman "

Syifa was more and more subdued to hear the words of Fatimah. The dilemma he felt was increasingly pressing on his mind.

" Peace with your heart, deck. So that the restlessness will not eat away at you. The pent-up grudge is not good for your health "Fatimah ended her speech by pulling Syifa's body into her arms.

The mood was silent again. They were silent with their minds. Without them noticing someone had heard all their conversation with cheeks that had flooded with tears.