The Halal Love

32

The sun is burning with heat. Even a glass of young coconut ice can not quench the thirst for the connoisseur. Nisa sits on a row of long benches provided by the Campus in front of the Faculty. His eyes stared at the end of his shoes.

"Hayo, daydream."

Sarah's shrill voice shifted Nisa's focus. The girl took a seat next to Nisa then wagged the map in her hand.

"Where? Ms Mardiah has agreed that you request a transfer of internships?" Ask Sarah.

Nisa shook her head, "She said if she wanted to move, there should be other students who would be invited to exchange places. So far there's no."

Sarah leaned her shoulder against the seat, "Jaudah, that's it. We can be together, right."

Nisa sighed loudly, "The problem is that I can't leave Aya. Cassian."

"He can be signed at the Foundation, Nis. No papa, just a month more."

Nisa gave Sarah a quick glance, "Yes, but I don't have the heart."

"Yaudah, think again. Not easy, find a strategic internship place. I think the Sudirihusodo RSJ is strategic. The same Deket Self-Service, the big mosque, the Hospital, the Post is also separate from the RSJ."

Nisa did not answer, she just dissolved in her mind. His eyes were straight ahead, but his eyes were empty.

As soon as Nisa doesn't respond, Sarah looks into Nisa's face. Something is not right, he murmured.

Sarah nudged Nisa's arm. "Why again?"

The gaze was sad, but it only passed for a few minutes, after which Nisa changed her expression as usual. "Funny to know, Rah. When someone who yesterday expressed love to you, but today he just chose to return with his past."

Sarah scratched her un-itchy head. "What do you mean, tah?"

Nisa smiled, Sarah could not define the kind of smile that her best friend had. "A few days ago, Samuel came to the house."

Sarah straightened her back, "Keep?" Ask enthusiastically.

"Yes that. Abi told him to study first. Abi's a bit of a no-brainer with her, Rah."

Sarah listened carefully. He didn't want to comment until Nisa finished telling the story. Rarely does his best friend want to tell his life problems. Usually Sarah is forcing, then she wants to tell a story.

"I'm trying to convince Abi. And I think Abi is still thinking. But yesterday.." Nisa lowered her head, watching the end of her shoes. "Samuel met his ex."

Sarah frowned. According to him, someone who has broken up and then met his ex-girlfriend is commonplace. They also have no relationship. And must have chosen their own path.

"Maybe you think, if someone meets an ex is natural. But this time it's different." Nisa can read Sarah's mind. "They still love each other."

Sarah frowned deeply. "Where do you know they still love each other?" Since then Sarah was anxious to comment, but stopped because she saw Nisa who had begun to comfortably tell a story.

"I've been in psychology for 3 years. It's impossible to read someone's expression I can't." Nisa. His words seemed to convince Sarah to believe his assumptions.

"Not forever, Nisa. Sometimes the psychologist's estimate can miss. No matter how great a psychologist, he is also just an ordinary human being. Moreover, your statement is just an assumption, a presumption, so there is still a possibility to make a mistake, right?"

Nisa shakes. "No. My heart is sure, Rah."

Sarah let out a rough breath. "Okay, if so, try asking Samuel first. However you need a clear source, which is not just limited to your assumptions."

Nisa speechless. Meet Samuel? To discuss yesterday's problems? Meeting that man was the thing he had been avoiding the most lately.

Nisa nodded, "I don't want to see her first?"

Sarah shuffled, closing in on Nisa. "Nis, it's just that the longer you keep this problem alone, the more you will think and continue to su'udzon the same Samuel."

Nisa sighed deeply, then threw it away violently. "I'll think about it again, Rah." Nisa got up from her seat. Walk towards the exit of the Faculty. His mood is not improving. Something feels stuck in there. Thinking of the incident the other day, made his head dizzy. Istighfar and dhikir he murmured in his heart, to reassure his current feelings.

*****

"Shodaqallahul'adzim."

"Alhamdulillah, your memorization is still well preserved, Nduk. You're busy in college, aren't you?"

Nisa smiled, "Excite, Ustadzah. Preparation for an internship now."

Ustadzah Hanum shook his head in amazement, "MasyAllah tabarakallah, Nduk. The spirit."

Nisa nodded. "Guggih, Ustadzah."

Nisa shuts down the Qur'an before her. It had just finished muroja'ah memorization with Ustadzah Hanum. Nisa really has to be good at dividing her time. Morning until late afternoon, he will be busy with lectures, afternoon until night, he must muroja'ah and teach some Classes.

"Assalamu'alaikum." A soft voice interrupted the conversation of the two.

In front of the door stood Alila who was staring towards Nisa and the ustadzah of Hanum. The girl develops her smile. Today, Alila looks much better than yesterday.

Nisa and Ustadzah Hanum answered together. Then let Alila in. "What's up, Lil?" This time Nisa asked. Since the incident Alila escaped yesterday, this time the girl raised her nose.

Nisa tries to act as calm as possible, even though her brain is currently spinning repeating yesterday. Seeing Alila reminded him of the hug scene that the girl was doing with Samuel.

Alila smiled warmly. "I want a short surah-surah muroja'ah."

Ustadzah Hanum nodded. "Oh yaudah, please Lil. Then I say back to Pesantren first, huh?" The middle-aged woman rushed up from her seat.

Nisa and Alila hurriedly greeted Ustadzah Hanum with a sense of reverence.

Now they both live in the room. Nisa forced her smile towards Alila. "What surah's memorandum now?" Ask Nisa.

"Al-kafirun."

Alila began to repeat the memorization of Surah Al-kafirun, then continued with the previous surahs.

Once finished, Alila did not immediately leave as usual. Seeing that, Nisa smiled, "Is there anything to talk about?" Ask.

Alila hesitated. His face turned disinclined.

"Regarding yesterday's problem."

Nisa's breath is restrained. He had expected, that over time, Alila would definitely discuss the matter as well. But really, although he was curious, he actually did not want to hear it. He was afraid, if Alila's statement even more hurt his heart.

"I'm sorry, yesterday I was solemn." Alila. The girl looked down. "I shouldn't have run away like that to the point of troubling you." Pause for a moment. Then Alila began to continue, "I'm also sorry, for doing something I shouldn't have done."

Nisa fell silent, not wanting to comment anything until Alila finished her words.

"Yesterday I lost control when I saw Samuel was suddenly there." Say again.

Nisa simply nodded, developing her fake smile. Even at this moment his heart was pulsing in agony within there. There was something special, which he could not explain the details.

"Next time don't repeat, yeah." Instead of asking about Alila's relationship with Samuel, Nisa could only say that sentence.

Alila nodded. "I'm sorry, if you may know, what did you have to do with Samuel? I mean, why did you come together to Bekasi?"

The curvature of Nisa's smile still lingered on her face. The girl seemed calm, as if she was not disturbed by Alila's question at all. Although in there, his feelings are not karu-kulif.

"We're just friends."

Nisa's words were greeted with a sigh of relief from Alila. The girl looked calm. I don't know what he thought before. "Thank God."

"Samuel didn't say anything to you?"

Alila shook her head, with a smile that could not be separated from her lips. "No. Samuel is more diem than I am. Maybe still angry, but to my gratitude, he's not kicking me anymore." Alila chuckled, recalling Samuel's expression yesterday.

"Is the man you told me about the other day Samuel?"

Alila smiled shyly, then nodded in response.

Nisa tries to maintain her smile. "You still like each other." The sentence just now sounds more like a statement than a question.

Alila raised her face, "If I still like Samuel. But I don't think Samuel."

Nisa hurriedly asked, "Why?"

"Samuel feels betrayed, and maybe he still needs time to accept all that."

"Samuel knows the truth." Nisa.

Alila turned her head completely to Nisa, "I mean?"

Nisa nodded, "Yes, yesterday Samuel heard all the truth when you fought with Soldiers."

Nisa is observing Alila. The girl looked happy, her face was much more radiant than when she first met. Now, the look in his eyes came back to life, as if he had found his purpose. Nisa said Istighfar in her heart, because at this moment she is the one who lost hope.

*****

The atmosphere of Basecamp is so boisterous at the moment. Fathur was playing music through a loudspeaker, while some of his colleagues were shouting singing using a mic, singing dangdut songs.

"Life without love, like a garden without flowers, hey that's what the pujanggaaaa say."

Basecamp is like a karaoke house. They sing and dance in their own style.

"Hey, that's what the pujanggaaa said." Fathur approached Samuel who was leaning in the corner, staring without interest at his friends who were running out of sane medicine.

"Stop guys, stop. Someone else is upset." Fathur raised his hands up, instructing his comrades to pause for a moment.

"Lo's got a life problem, Sam?" Kamal spoke up. Even his voice went into the mic, because he forgot to turn off the mic that was in his grasp.

Samuel frowned. Reluctant to comment anything, the man chose to open his dress, then focus there.

Feeling neglected, Fathur pulls Samuel's device, making the man misuh. "Dog, no turning!"

"Weits, don't be rude about talking to kaka." Fathur is still teasing Samuel.

"Reverse before I broke all the bones of your shoulder blades!"

Feeling that Samuel's mood was bad, Fathur relented. He returned Samuel's cell phone, which was forcibly stolen by the man.

Without much more to say, Samuel opted out. His mind was tired, his mood was deteriorating, he was in a bumpy mode. At times like this, he can't think well. It could be that his friends become an outlet for his frustration if they continue to flirt.

The place Samuel chose to calm his mind was Warkop who was behind the Campus. The atmosphere there is not so quiet, even impressed many visitors. But at least, in that place there were no disturbances aimed at him. He can relax and enjoy his favorite cup of black coffee while pondering.

Samuel let out a rough breath. His memory is blinded at the events when he comes with Nisa and Kahfi to search for Alila. The Alila they were looking for was apparently the same Alila she had known all along. Alila's her ex-boyfriend. Alila whom he hates so much and so he avoids.

At the same time, Samuel heard all the truths he had not known. The truth had actually slapped her who was being too harsh towards Alila.

All this time he thought Alila betrayed him, but he was wrong. Alila was a victim who should not be treated badly by the soldier bastard. Alila never betrayed him. Even when Samuel chided her with words she shouldn't have, she still loved him. Not one bit he trembled, or chose to stop.

Samuel was stupid. If only Alila had been honest, then she would not have been this angry. He would definitely not leave the girl to face her problems alone. But the rice has become porridge, which has passed can not be repeated.

Now he just wants to focus on Nisa. The girl was waiting for him. Although Abinya was not so sure of Samuel, but Nisa persisted. He still has hope for himself.

For Samuel, Alila was a past he had to forget. Nisa is the future she must fight for. He must forget Alila. Their story is long over. There is no longer any bond that can bind the two together. And yes, Samuel has chosen.

*****

Nisa had just stepped out of the Library, when she saw a pair of legs lined up in a pair of jeans standing in front of her. Nisa thought that the person was not a student at Guna Dharma, given his style that does not reflect a student at all.

When Nisa wanted to leave, a voice so familiar in the ears stopped her steps.

"I want to talk, Nis."

When Nisa looked up, she found Samuel's face. The man's face looked crumpled. Dark circles under the eyes were faintly visible. His long hair was left in a mess.

"Sina."

Samuel surprised Nisa who was looking at her appearance. The girl immediately cleared her throat to throw off her awkwardness.

"What's wrong?" Ask later.

"Can you come with me?"

Nisa looked frowned. Alert alarms lit up in his head. Samuel was asking her to follow him. Just two.

As if he could read Nisa's mind, Samuel chuckled, "Quiet, Nis. It's a lot of places."

Nisa blinks her eyes funny. What did Samuel think? Is Nisa accusing him of taking her to a lonely place?

"Come on." Samuel again broke Nisa's daydream. The girl finally moved in Samuel's footsteps.

They arrived at the Back Canteen. Nisa's favorite place. Samuel ordered a drink so that the conversation was more relaxed, and not impressed just chatting.

"What do you want to pesen?" Ask Samuel.

"What a thing."

"There is no menu here." A wicked smile rose from Samuel's lips.

Nisa swore at the man in front of her. Days managed to make his mind chaotic, now he just came without sin and teased him. Shameless is this Samuel.

"Or want to be equal? I'm pesen black coffee, you want black coffee too?"

Nisa grunts. His face looks so funny. Then, he swiftly took the menu from Samuel's hand. "Es Milo." Select later.

Samuel desperately held his laughter until the tip of his lips twitched. The woman before him was absolutely adorable, he thought. Then he hurried to tell the canteen mother his order, before he pinched Nisa's cheek so anxious.

"How are you?" Samue sat back in his place.

"Kitabaru met 3 days ago." Believe me, Nisa actually wanted to look calm saying the sentence just now, but it sounded sniffy.

Samuel laughed, "It's really Mom."

Nisa snorted, shifting her focus on the small fish in the aquarium.

"I'm sorry."

Nisa waited carefully, as to what was next for Samuel.

"I shouldn't have let Alila hug me like that." Said later.

Silent. Nisa did not respond to Samuel's words. Samuel was deep in his own thoughts, thinking of Nisa's reaction that would probably be as angry as most girls.

Nisa smile. Genuine smile. Even Samuel did not expect that the girl before him would give such a reaction.

"It's okay. That's your right."

"But I shouldn't have let that happen when I promised you a commitment."

The order delivered by the cafeteria's mother stopped the conversation. Samuel thanked him after the cafeteria mother left.

"Me and Alila have nothing to do." Say Samuel again.

"Alila's feelings have never changed in the past." Nisa's churning out a lump of ice cubes that are still intact in her ice milano.

"Alila said that?"

Nisa nodded.

"He's expecting you." Nisa again.

Samuel bland teratwa, "I've chosen you."

Nisa smile. "Don't force it just because you're not feeling good about me."

Samuel nodded quickly. "I never did that. My feelings for Alila are no longer there. Maybe just a little cassian?" Samuel was not sure of his last words.

"He's a good girl. Losing your father, your family, your baby, and you are a crushing blow. In short, he lost everything. He no longer had any hope for a promising future. For him, hope is only a word of encouragement so that someone can survive the difficulties experienced in the present."

Samuel did not understand, what was the purpose of Nisa telling him about Alila? Should he have convinced Samuel to choose him?

"I will not impose anyone's will. Nor does it intend to hurt anyone. So please, make the right choice so that neither side feels at a disadvantage."

"My choice was right. I chose you." Samuel said with conviction.

"But Alila was expecting you. You're the only one who can change his life."

Samuel hissed, "Don't think of anyone else, Nisa. If I choose Alila, then what about you?"

Nisa bowed, "I'll forget you. Abi rejected you anyway." Nisa desperately ventured to say that sentence.

Samuel fell silent, not believing that the one who said the sentence just now was Nisa. Samuel was at a loss for words. Even now saying goodbye and leaving him alone, Samuel still did not budge. The center of his world had just been sucked in at one point of the round. And that round point only boils down to one situation, heartache.