The Halal Love
22
The sound of hurriedly walking footsteps ran around in a passageway that was not so densely populated with humans. Occasionally he glanced at the timepiece that was coiled around his wrist. At 08:30. It's too early to attend college for the old semester. But Nisa looks rushed. The wide gamis fly there - here in the wind. Today, he has a schedule to meet with the accompanying lecturer, to discuss the internship that will be held this semester. Nisa wants to ask for some direction from the accompanying lecturer, related to his intention that he does not want to be placed in an internship place that is too far away.
When he got in front of a large door, he stopped his steps. Without waiting for a long time, Nisa immediately knocked on the door. One or two beats without an answer. Nisa tried to turn the knob, locked. His companion lecturer should have been inside, considering last night he had made an appointment to meet.
Nisa reached into the cell phone in her bag. He opened a history chat with Bu Mardiah as a companion lecturer. As soon as she reread her chat, Nisa patted the eidat, “Astaghfirullah, at 10 it turned out.” He put his phone back in his bag. Today he woke up more than he should, because he could only sleep after dawn.
Aya is fussy, and does not sleep all night due to high fever. Nisa had to stay up all night to keep the toddler. After dawn, Aya was able to sleep peacefully, and Nisa accidentally fell asleep, as a result she just woke up at 06.
Recalling her promise with Bu Mardiah, Nisa rushes to a lightning shower and chases with two hours until she reaches the Campus.
Arriving at Campus, five minutes before 08:30, with sweat and breath hunting only to find Ms. Mardiah. But once he arrived, he had to swallow disappointed, the companion lecturer was not there. He is less focused due to rush, making him wrongly remember the schedule he agreed before.
Nisa exhaled a rough breath. If you want to go back home, it will be a waste of time. Finally, he decided to go to the library. The girl walked back past the FISIP Faculty Building, considering that the road was the closest access to the Library.
Nisa circulated the gaze to the passage of the first and second floors. A row of closed Classroom doors. It could be, there is a young semester lecture, he thought. He again continued his steps ignoring the quiet surrounding conditions.
His habit of always walking down, Nisa did not realize when there was a figure that suddenly blocked his steps. The aroma of mixing mint and vanilla pierces the sense of smell. Nisa observes the converse butut shoes worn by a pair of legs belonging to the person in front of her.
As he lifted his eyes, a tall man was wearing an unbuttoned sapphire blue checkered shirt. A plain black shirt covered the inside. One of his muscular-looking hands gripped the rope of a backpack.
Her hair is on the back one. His face was clean and looked as fresh as fresh watercress that had just been harvested. His nose shaded a curved lip cupper. The man threw a big smile at Nisa. The familiar heavy sound made thousands of butterflies dance on his stomach as the figure before him greeted, “Hai.”
For a second, Nisa blinked her eyes. Not answering the greeting, he turned his eyes to neutralize his heart beating that jump naughty.
Samuel was the first man to grow a shameless gurgle every time they met. Nisa was never like this. Instead of never liking the opposite sex, as a normal human Nisa has also felt the nature that the Almighty has placed in her heart. He once liked someone, only the effect of his joy was not as great as the effect caused when he met Samuel.
“Ngapain here?” Samuel was still trying to build up the subject.
Nisa cleared her throat slowly, “Mau to Perpus.”
Samuel smiled again, as if his smile was so easy to share with anyone.
“FK more decet same Perpus whereas.” He squinted his eyes.
Nisa breathed a sigh of pity, “Tadi I am from the Rectorate. The only fastest access from there to Perpus yes via here.”
The man nodded while chuckling, “OK, assume I believe.”
“I don't have much time, Assalamu’alaikum.” Nisa lazy argument. He still loved his heart condition rather than lingering with the man.
“Can we discuss the problem that time?”
The sentence stopped Nisa's hasty steps. Samuel came back and aligned himself next to the girl who today wears the dark grey hood.
“How?” Ask again.
“What do you need to learn first?”
Samuel tried to think for a moment, until an anomalous question escaped his lips, “What do you think prayer is?”
Nisa raised her head, “Your question is strange.” He could not understand the man's question in front of him. He asked what is prayer? Not all Muslims know, even SD children know what prayer is.
Samuel smiled meaninglessly, “So like this, is prayer a guarantee of someone close to God?”
Nisa frowned deeply, “Yes, prayer is similar to our communication with Allah.”
“So if Muslims do not pray, it is said to lose communication with Allah?”
“Of course. A Muslim who does not pray is like a headless limb. Can a man live without legs, without hands, but without a head? Can they survive?”
Samuel fell silent, trying to digest Nisa's words.
“I have long since left prayer. Is it still possible to do it, after all this time I neglected?”
Nisa fell silent, not budging a bit from where she stood.
“Do I still deserve it?” Samuel this time looked at Nisa with pushy eyes.
There was no doubt as Nisa nodded. “It is never too late to repent. And Allah always accepts the sincere repentance of His servant.” He finally spoke, trying as carefully as possible not to offend Samuel.
This time Samuel's face turned serious, “There was one thing that became an obstacle.”
Nisa's two eyebrows linked together, becoming one,
“What?”
“I forgot the intention of all prayers five times.”
\*
People have many ways to fulfill their dreams. They are willing to sacrifice anything to get to the goal. Go for it first, have fun then he said. Although the way taken is not always linear and orderly. But they never stopped trying, failed to try again, reflecting the principles of J. K. Rowling who a dozen times the script was rejected before finally worldwide.
Samuel thought about it.
He looked out the window of the Official Secretariat which was empty of visitors. His colleagues are gathering at Basecamp, completing several orientation implementation proposals next month.
If everyone has a dream and is desperately trying to make it happen, why is he on the verge of obscurity? Dreams like twisting tangled yarn that does not know how to open irregular knots. Everyone has plans for their future, but they don't have time to think about it.
If asked, what would it be? Then only the head will he feed to the questioner. Samuel dared to express his ideals only when he was a child. Pilots, doctors, soldiers, astronauts, presidents, all those are the rows of ideals that little Samuel always muttered. The more mature a man is, the more he will have difficulty thinking about his ideals.
Studying Social Sciences was an option he chose originally. The important thing is college. The important thing is not to be a gentleman after graduating High School. That was his way of thinking before entering the world of college.
Samuel had long since left his normal life. He chose to be an anomaly that brought change to one's life, but not his own. To fight for the rights of many, but to ignore their own. For him, the public interest is more important than prioritizing the side of self-egoism that must be preceded.
“Sam, invitation to Prof. Said already taken care of?”
Samuel turned to the source of the voice and found Vika who was compiling a file on the table. I don't know when the girl was in the same room with him.
“Gue looking forward to making.”
Vika rolled her eyeballs, “I've guessed.”
Samuel chuckles, “What about KKN later? I think you will be busy to take care of it and you will not have time to manage work in BEM.”
“Lo forgot that I was a perfectionist in the problem of dividing time?” Vika jumawa.
Samuel screeched in response to Vika's remarks which further led to a subtle allusion to him.
“Lo do not want to join KKN this wave?” Vika reopens the sound.
Samuel sniffing shoulders, “Entah. There are no plans to come or do not.”
Vika let out a rough breath.
“You till when did you neglect college? Does not the slightest fear cross your mind if you can not graduate on time?”
“Gue still feels at home for a long time on Campus.”
Samuel's speech made Vika a stir. “Lo can say like that, if your own tuition fee is responsible.” Vika grumbling.
“There will be a time when I change. I will not keep this up.” Samuel smiled forced towards Vika, making the girl even more furious to tear apart the handsome male face before him.
“Gue again business process.”
“Usaha what? Efforts to destroy your life even worse?”
Samuel laughed, he was always happy to see Vika's annoyed face, he thought it was funny. That chubby cheek would turn into a pink tinge, and his narrowed eyes were forced to widen instantly.
“Gue want to improve my religious way first.”
Vika remained silent. A Samuel would be a religious figure? For some reason, suddenly a trace of fear reached his chest. The reason why Vika did not want to be controlled by her feelings for Samuel was because of religious issues. Undeniably, religious differences become the deepest gulf between the two. Impossible to unite. Because if it is forced, then there must be one who sacrifices.
“Vik, woy. How to fuck?”
Vika woke up from her daydream. “What makes you have an initiative to improve the way of religion?”
“All of it has something to do with Nisa?”
Samuel gawked in amazement. “Vik, since when did you become a psychic?”
Vika smiled blandly. The prejudice never misses. “Lo changed a lot since meeting Nisa.”
“Oh yes? Why am I not aware?” Samuel displayed a sinless innocent expression.
“Falling in love is never realized when it started.”
I had thousands of daggers that tore Vika's heart as she said those words.
Samuel laughed, he looked wrong.
“She’s different. I've never met a woman as unique as her.”
Vika looked down, the corner of her eyes suddenly watering. His heart ached at Samuel's confession.
“Gue has never been interested in my own religion. But after I met him, somehow I want to compete with other humans to reach heaven. In short, I want to be a human who knows God more closely.”
A drop of tears fell freely on the cold marble floor that Vika walked on. The fact that he was unworthy of Samuel seemed to crush him to the point of losing his hope all along.
“Vik, do I not listen?”
Rush Vika wiping the tip of her eyes, “Eh, yes. Lo match same Nisa.”
Samuel smiled bitterly, “Gue does not match Nisa, but his name does not match me.”
“Lo do not have to worry, if you are a mate would be suitable as well. After all salt in the sea, acid in the mountain, also found in cobek.”
Samuel chuckles. “Good also analogy lo.” He ruffled Vika's hair. Making Vika increasingly grimace to endure the pain in her heart.
\*
Man without prayer. How has he lived his bland life all this time? Is there still peace in his heart? How could he ignore the pleasure of making out with the Creator?
“Kak Nis, I want muroja’ah.”
Nisa's daydreams unravel when a santriwati approaches her. He is Sahadah, an orphan who lived at the Foundation since 3 years ago, after his parents had a tragic accident that claimed the lives of both.
Nisa smiled warmly.
“How many are you memorizing?”
“25 juz. God willing to add one more juz.” Said splashy.
“What motivates you to the spirit once memorized?”
Sahadah thought for a moment. “Kata Ustadzah Qonita, if a child becomes hafidz Qur’an, then later both parents will be worn a crown whose light exceeds sunlight. Because I have not been able to give any gifts to Mama and Papa, then I want to give the crown to them when I meet in the future.”
The Sahadah's plain words touched Nisa's heart. A 10-year-old boy had such noble ideals. How lucky his parents were. Surely at this time they are smiling happily to have assets of his that can guarantee entry into heaven.
Nisa turned her face away from Sahadah. He did not want to be seen crying in front of the girl. How could he shed tears, when Sahadah herself was so strong through everything.
Now his mind was on Umminya. He also did not have time to give the best gift for Ummi. The only hope is to always take care of her rote, with which Ummi will be proud of her. Now he realized, why his parents encouraged him to study religion more strongly than other sciences. Because indeed, after death, the valuable assets held by a person after a worship charity are the children who are sholeh and sholehah.
\*
Heavy rain had just finished pouring down the earth at that time. All that remains are a few puddles that cause the streets to muddle. The atmosphere of Suropati park is quiet, there are no children who usually spend the afternoon playing chases, maybe because of the cold after the rain that makes them reluctant to come.
On a long bench located at the end of the Park, there was a young man sitting restlessly. He occasionally glanced at the black watch that coiled around his wrist.
Alila watched the young man, not sure how long it had been. His steps were held back from approaching. All the courage he had disappeared somewhere. His tears fell freely without being prevented He tried to gather as much oxygen supply, then exhaled slowly so that a little could make him calm.
He walked with a rowdy step. His long tangled hair which he rarely comb flew in the wind, but he ignored. His only goal was to meet the young man in front who was waiting for him.
As soon as her steps reached the position of the man, Alila stopped her steps. Bad thoughts plundered his head. The young man looked shocked, he immediately stood up to welcome Alila's arrival. There was a look of longing emanating within his eyes. He smiled, so warm and soothing. But for Alila, the smile actually became a dagger that sliced the surface of her skin.
A drop of tears fell. Alila retreated reflexively, as the man before her was about to approach and embrace her. He can only be down. Not able to look into those beautiful eyes.
“La, I kangen.”
It was like thousands of needles piercing his heart. Alila tried to raise her head. He dared to look at the man. With all the remnants of courage that he picked up, finally one sentence that had been stuck out of his pale lips that occasionally seemed to shake.
“I'm pregnant.”
Alila handed me a black and white foro. The eyes of the man changed. He opened in his place without making any movement.
Alila fell to the ground. His feet felt like they had no bones. He sat down in front of the man, crying his heart out.
“Go as far as possible, Sam. I don't deserve you.”
Samuel was silent. A flash of emotion, hate, disappointment, everything becomes one. Anger roared in his chest. His hands clenched until the veins on his arms protruded.
Samuel left Alila, who was still on the ground. Even when the man was already invisible he was still reluctant to stand up. In his face with nanar photo of USG results in his grasp. After that, he squeezed the photo, then tore it up. At that moment he lost hope. His life was destroyed, along with the continued growth of the fetus in the womb.
Alila sipped the warm with the scent of green tea that pierced her nostrils. The glimpses of the past are always present like creepy black shadows. As hard as he tried to improve, but the results will still not be able to return to how they were. The loss of those he loves is the defense of the most severe break. Alila did not have anyone she could depend on right now. Two years ago, he lost everything.
Alila would never have expected that her life line was so heartbreaking. He thought that everyone he met was sincere with him. But it turns out he was wrong. His meeting with Soldier, the man he helped during a gang-rape accused of stealing by his transport passengers, ended in disaster. During the time he knew Soldier, the man was very good to him. His noble and polite understanding and obedience to worship made Alila never think badly of him.
Since then, he has been close to the Army. It was even that man who taught religion deeply to Alila. Alila who almost never came into contact with the scriptures, when it was also taught again. However, not once did Alila put any sense into that man. For him, he already had Samuel. His love for the man had closed the door of his heart to other men.
One day, the soldier called him for help. The man is sick. Because feeling sorry, in connection with the condition of the soldier who was orphaned and did not have enough costs to complete his needs, Alila took the initiative to help the man. He was going to take her to see a doctor.
When Alila arrived in front of a small boarding house, the girl knocked on the door. There's no answer. Finally, he ventured to open the door. He saw the soldier who was lying down while closing his eyes, his face pale. Alila approached the man and tried to hold his forehead. Her body temperature is so hot. He walked to the back looking for cloth and warm water to compress the soldiers.
Because he was tired of waiting for the Soldier to wake up, drowsiness attacked him. Alila accidentally fell asleep in the seat beside the Soldier's bed. Alila woke up after feeling, there was a hand that stroked the top of her head. When he raised his head, he saw the soldier who was also looking at him. Their gaze met, and the man locked onto the view through the appeal of his brown eye bead.
When consciousness had regained control, Alila cleared her throat to neutralize the awkward atmosphere between the two.
“Awake. Take medicine first.”
Just now Alila was about to stand up taking the medicine on the nightstand, her wrist was blocked by Soldiers.
“Thank you.”
Alila smiled and nodded. He intended to return to the medicine, but with a strong pull on his wrist, the girl fell on the bed. Without warning, Soldier suddenly brought his lips closer to Alila's lips. Alila tried to rebel, but in vain. The strength of men is not comparable to the strength of women.
Soldiers locked onto Alila's movements by holding the girl's hands, while her kiss grew wild. The man kissed Alila's lips violently, then moved to Alila's neck.
Alila is still trying to wrangle . His tears fell countless times. Samuel's face turned in his head. He does not want to betray. He did not want to hurt Samuel. But he could not do much when the Soldier wildly tore off the clothes he was wearing. At that time, he had done something so disgusting. And at that moment, he lost everything.
Alila turned the glass in front of her.
Sorry is useless. Everything changed, because of his own stupidity. He lost those he loved because of his pride.
His father died of a sudden heart attack when he heard his only daughter committed adultery to conceive. His mother hated him so much, thinking Alila was the cause of the death of the husband he loved so much. And Samuel, the man seemed very unwilling to have his presence.
Alila tried to run away from all the mistakes she made. He is away from his loved ones.
2 Years left the city of his birth, and migrated to a foreign land that no human he knew there. He left with nothing, only the creature in his womb accompanying him.
The man who loved so much really hated himself at this moment. How broken Alila's heart was, when the man looked at himself with contempt. Even the words thrown out were so harsh.
He remembered what Samuel had said the other day when he suddenly contacted him. Alila thought Samuel called because he wanted to make peace. But expectations are much more beautiful than reality. Samuel chided her.
“Why do you want to go back to me? Is it over the men who queue in your bed? And now you want to make me as one of the men who want to do it? Don't dream!”
The sentence was like a thousand needles piercing right in his heart. Pain, pain, soreness. Is that what he looked at Samuel? Even Samuel didn't know the truth. And Alila just did not want to convey the truth, her own fault.
Alila had tried to forget Samuel. Many times he convinced himself that he did not deserve a man as good as Samuel. However, it is who can regulate the feelings of people other than God. The love that is still growing, makes Alila insistent on wanting to fix everything. He has confidence, that he can turn bad conditions into available times. But it wasn't easy. His mentality was not able to face the harshness of Samuel's attitude and the sadism of the man's words.
