The Halal Love
27
Nisa lied while saying rush to teach. In fact, today he has no teaching schedule. And let's not forget this, Nisa instead moves home to the House, not to the princess Pesantren as she told Samuel.
Nisa's heart was beating again in an odd way. Within each artery and vein flows happiness intact. Indeed, Nisa never consumed the addictive type of stimulant that is able to stimulate excessive imagination. Or maybe Samuel put in a certain addictive substance so that Nisa experienced happiness and delusion at one time. Who knows?
Nisa shook her head, dismissing her crazy thoughts. The girl was still trying to neutralize her pounding heart that was beating crazily. He has even spoken istighfar and dhikr since. But his mood still remained calm.
“Yes Allah, this is why, anyway?” Nisa muttered to herself.
That girl had never felt this before. Does falling in love really feel like this? His heart that beats above the normal limit, ah it feels if such a long time continues then his heart condition will worsen.
Nisa glanced at the sky. There are a lot of stars flashing. In the West, his eyes catch the brightest star cluster, sirius. Among the millions of stars Sirius is the most charming. His light beat the stars around him. Sometimes Nisa often likens sirius to Umminya. When he is sad or misses Ummi, then he will look towards the sky, then look for sirius. But tonight he is not sad. It is said neither happy. It's just that the fireworks bring a pleasant euphoria.
Nisa exhales violently, “Ummi your son is in love.”
*****
“Aduh.” Nisa was surprised when the teaspoon that had been in her hand fell freely to the floor to make a clanking sound. Once again he took a breath, trying to get rid of the strange thoughts that were creeping on his head.
“Kok bengong anyway, Nis? Tumben.” Sarah's voice resuscitates Nisa from her daydream.
“Nothing.” Nisa tries to smile, but whatever she acts in front of Sarah, the girl must know that something is wrong with her. Fortunately avoiding the gaze of Sarah who was looking at him with a gaze demanding an explanation, Nisa picked up the dropped spoon earlier and wrapped it with a tissue and then placed it on the table.
“Ngak usually you're dumb. Hmm, what's up?” The sentence sounded relaxed but also demanded an explanation.
Nisa shook her head again. “No papa.”
Sarah took a tissue and then with a flexible movement wiped her mouth with the thin sheet. “As far as Samuel is concerned you are closed.”
Nisa chokes. He even coughed. Hearing Samuel's name made the thousands of butterflies in his stomach react again.
“Tuh right. You guys have a special relationship.” Instead of helping Nisa, Sarah instead railed against her best friend with statements that could somehow be true.
“On what basis do you say like that.” This time Nisa was calmer.
Sarah raised an eyebrow. “Don't forget that I'm an accomplished observer, Nis.” Jumawa.
Nisa clucking. He understood Sarah's character. Although without being told what is going on, his best friend can sometimes guess with guesses that do not miss. Even sometimes Nisa to think, maybe this Sarah is a descendant of psychic. His science was passed down from his ancestors.
“What's so hard about your own best friend's story? I never considered to be a best friend if gini tau no.” Sarah began to dramatize the situation.
“What do I want to tell you? Nothing I need to tell you.” Nisa said indifferently.
“News about your relationship.” Sarah raises both eyebrows teasing Nis.
And evidently, Nisa's cheeks instantly flushed. Sarah slumped until she held her stomach. “Ah, you really are nothing like Samuel. No need to be closed again, I already know.” Sarah wiped a speck of water in the corner of her eye.
“What the hell, Rah. Your assumptions can make slander loh.” Nisa is still trying to give up.
“Nis, Samuel likes you. And you like Samuel.”
Nisa belated, “What the hell? Don't know you.” Nisa's cheeks are getting red.
Sarah still could not stop her laughter when she saw Nisa react timidly. “Nisa Nisa's. Story hence. Don't like to make me nervous like this, it would be my guess.”
Nisa finally gave up. It's free to argue with Sarah, there's no end. And the girl will never let Nisa's life calm down until Nisa wants to tell her everything. “Samuel says like to me.”
Sarah's jaw almost fell. “For what? Seriously?!”
Nisa nodded.
“I didn't even think about it. Samuel is gentle.”
Nisa turned the ball of eyes puffed. “Gentle it went to the guardian, not the woman who liked.”
Sarah shook her hands in front of her own face. “Ah yaudah, mending story. How was the beginning until Samuel could say he liked you?”
Nisa shakes her head, “Ndon't know. All of a sudden he nanya when the commitment continues to know-tau end he even said like.”
“I didn't think I was this Samuel. You guys have known how long, anyway?”
Nisa tried to think for a moment. “Mmm... three months? Uh four months. Ja. It looks like that.”
“Even you can not say long know each other, Samuel has dared to express feelings.” Sarah sniggers to herself. “Hmm, how do you keep doing?”
Nisa lifting face, “What?”
“How do you feel to Samuel?”
“Nknow. I even..”
“OK enough!” Sarah interrupted Nisa's conversation. “You have the same feeling.”
Nisa denied it, “Nggak Rah. It's just a momentary feeling. Long time also will definitely be lost.”
Sarah shook her head. “Not so simple. So what's your decision?”
“What decision?”
Sarah patted jidat, “Decision to grant her or not.”
Nisa belittles, “Islam forbids dating, Rah.”
“I see's. But you still have to give him a decision. Don't hang the feelings of others like inevitably like that.”
Nisa speechless. That's right what Sarah said. He should give clarity. If you don't want to, you should be able to say no. If you want him to stay, say yes.
“The problem he said he couldn't commit.”
“I mean, he hasn't dared to find your Abimu?”
Nisa.
“Danger. Actually Samuel is not the type of person who fits your criteria, Nis. She's more to the exact opposite of you.” Sarah put on a regretful face, but before long, for a second later her expression changed. “But somehow, I have confidence that you can lead him to be better.”
Sarah rubbed Nisa's back. Trying to channel power.
“You can help him. Fighting!!!”
*****
The sound of Adhan Isya who roared moved Nisa's steps to take ablution water. He never delayed his duty. He glanced at Aya who had fallen asleep beside him. He says goodbye to the toddler, despite knowing that Aya is not listening to him.
Nisa walks out, towards the mosque, where congregational prayers are performed. When entering the mosque, there are already many rows of princess santri who fill the shaf. The moss-green curtain becomes a barrier between men and women.
“Nisa.”
Nisa turned around as someone rebuked her and patted her on the shoulder. Alila wearing a pastel-colored face was smiling at him. It has been almost 3 weeks that the girl has been living in Pesantren. And it seems that he has started to be able to adapt to the people around him than when he first came first.
“Eh, Alila. Here's side.”
Alila shifted her position towards Nisa.
“Sholat sunnah qabliyah isya’ first, yuk.”
Alila nodded.
Since Pesantren, much has been learned by Alila. The girl learned quickly. Now he began to understand the types of prayers, from the obligatory to the sunnah. And he's getting used to it all.
The sunnah prayer is finished. The voice of iqamat dressinga reverberated after the Adzan. All pilgrims prepare to perform Isya’ prayers.
The recitation of surah at-takatsur and al-kautsar in the chanting of the prayer imam is very melodious. All worshippers recognized the voice, including female worshippers. The voice belonged to Naim. The youngest Ustadz in Pesantren. Nisa was swept away in every verse that sounded in the ear. Not felt four rakaat was completed in tunaikan.
Stars sprung up and twinkled beautifully in the sky as Alila stepped out of the Mosque. The girl momentarily enjoyed everything. The moon also appears perfectly round and shines very brightly in the middle of the deep night sky. Alila sometimes envies the moon which always looks luminous despite being surrounded by darkness.
He looked at himself. He cannot be like the moon. Even he was just like a gloomy cloudy before the rain. The pain of 2 years ago has taken away all the laughter. The shame, the disgrace he had borne, scratched the wound that had now hardened. No matter how Alila tried to forget, all the gossip, the look of disdain, also the blight of hope makes the word cheerful disappear in the dictionary of his life.
“La, don't be dumbly night-night.”
Nisa's voice shocked Alila. The girl spontaneously turned around, and found Nisa's face as usual. Kalem and pretty. Who would reject a girl like Nisa. Beautiful, smart, educated, easy to get along with, sholeh, and who definitely has a promising future. Now he compares himself to the figure before him now.
“La.”
Alila was back. “Eh, yes sorry.”
Nisa smile. “What's up?”
Alila shakes. “Nothing.”
“By the way I have not known why you chose mondok here.” Nisa smiled back, trying to make small talk.
Alila's speechless. He doesn't usually talk to strangers. But there was something that made his heart moved to tell what he experienced to Nisa. As a fellow permpuan, perhaps Nisa was much more able to understand him than Kahfi.
“You sure you want to hear my story?” Alila asked doubtfully.
Nisa nodded steadily. “Yakinu. But I don't think it's here. To be more comfortable, we just talk to him at my house, huh? Anyway Aya I live alone at home.”
Alila nodded. The two walked towards Mr. Kyai's house.
“So why did you choose mondok here?” As soon as she served Alila a cup of green tea, Nisa started a conversation. Know that the girl before him will not start a chat without being on the fishing line first.
“I want to learn to improve myself.”
Nisa was silent waiting for the continuation of Alila's speech.
“I feel like I've gone too far to save God. To the extent that God was angry with me, and let me have trouble.”
Nisa showed a sincere smile before giving encouragement to the girl before her. “Everyone has the potential to leave us, except Allah.”
Nisa's words seem to provoke Alila to return to the story.
“Why can you be sure?”
“Because Allah Himself stated this in his word. Surah Al-Kahfi verse 49 which means ‘And your Rabb will never wrong anyone.’ The meaning of punishment here means that Allah will never put everything out of place, including leaving His servants. When we are tested by Allah, it does not mean that Allah is unjust and righteous. But it is a consequence of justice and wisdom after grace. Many of us for lack of knowledge do not understand why this happens and so. Then with this lack of our knowledge, we accuse Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala that Allah is unjust, Allah is not dear and others.”
Alila looked at Nisa's words. True, all this time he only thought of those who left him, he never thought that God was always by his side. Never once dumped him. He used to hate God, blaming Him for what happened to him. He said that God was unjust because he took away everything he had in the blink of an eye. And He allowed himself to fall and continue to drag on in sorrow without giving help.
“Our science is a little. How do we who have this little knowledge want to comment on the infinite breadth of God's science? Therefore, the duty of a servant is to believe that all the deeds of Allah are just and unjust. What we see wrong in our eyes is the result of our lack of knowledge. It is not injustice because Allah is all-knowing. Sometimes God does not give because God is righteous. But God does not give because he wants to give better than that. Allah deprives a man of the treasures of the world - it may be - because of Allah's knowledge that he, when given treasure, becomes one who forgets the land. Finally Allah gave him a narrow provision so that he would not become arrogant. He eventually survived rather than being fooled by the world. He survived pride and everything else. Allah passes the test on to every one of His servants. What we need to remember is that God never gives a test to His servant beyond the limits of the ability of the servant.” Nisa showed sincerity in every piece of her advice.
A single tear fell on Alila's cheek. The girl felt much more sinful now. “What by trying to improve yourself, God will forgive me?” His voice sounded vibrating.
“InsyaAllah. God's forgiveness is so vast, infinite. And Allah never closes the door of repentance to any of His servants who are earnest to repent.”
Alila wiped her tears. “But I am the least human being. My past is so bad.”
Nisa rubbed Alila's back, trying to channel the power. “Whatever a person's past is bad, his future is still sacred.”
Alila covered her face, her crying completely broke. “I even assumed I no longer had a good future. I lost everything. My life, my parents, my loved ones, one by one they hate me.”
“Alila, remember my words, they all left you, but you are not alone, there is a God who is always by your side. Allah is the One Who turns the hearts of men upside down, He can easily melt even the hardest. Pray, Alila. Pray that God will soften the hearts of those who hate you today. Because prayer is the most powerful weapon when we have nothing.”
Alila was intrigued, in her insistence she realized something, that hope was still there. He can take back his life.
“I got pregnant at a young age. My father died because of me. My mother no longer considered me her son. And my loved ones hate me so much.” All those things that stuck up finally escaped Alila's lips.
“Then you blame yourself for all those things?”
Alila nodded. “Nothing to blame but me. I'm cause. I ruined my own life.”
Nisa's still rubbing Alila's back. ”Alila, nothing happens in this world without the control of God. Remember, God never tests a servant beyond his means. Allah knows that you are strong, so this test is not given to others. And never consider the test of God to be a form of God's hatred of you. But take it as a lesson, as a self-reinforcing, as a form of the love of God who still remembers you as His servant. In real life, one had to pass the test more than to be able to level up. It could be after this, God will give a surprise that you do not expect. And yes, after difficulties there is always ease.”
Alila wiped away the tears using the back of her hand. The injection of advice Nisa gave opened her mind. It felt like he had just released tons of loads that had been burdensome on his shoulders.
Storytelling does not solve problems. There were still some things he had to do after that. But by telling stories, the burdens carried by themselves will feel much lighter.
Nisa hugged Alila. He could feel the sadness and difficulty of the girl's life all this time. Without friends, he must have kept all his problems all this time alone. Although he knew, most likely Kahfi also knew this. But it will be different if the fellow woman who Alila accompanied me groaned. Because instinctively, the minds of men and women are different.
