The Halal Love
28
Samuel had just finished following the evaluation of the activities with the orientation committee before leaving for the mosque for the congregational dawn prayer. Samuel and his friends who served as the chairman of BEM have not closed their eyes at all. Orientation events are held until the time of Maghrib prayer, but there are some things that must be completed for the procurement of orientation tomorrow. After taking care of several things, the entire orientation committee must brief on the constraints during orientation and the solutions they will implement.
“What is the same educational seminar? Letter of application to be a speaker has been submitted?” Samuel approached Fathur who was sitting in the head of the Hall and his eyes focused on the rundown of the event he was holding.
Fathur nodded. “Udah. Yesterday before my orientation was the same Vika who took care of. Should be lo, but instead say do not know where.” His voice sounded snobbish.
Samuel grinned. “Gue check our program. Like the orientation, we immediately scaffold this program. I still look responsible, don't I?”
Fathur grunting.
“Eh by the way how is that writer? Today he's scheduled to be a speaker, right?”
Fathur nodded. “Gue has been in contact since last night. Said he'd be on campus before 8.”
Samuel mangosteen.
“Lo like from yesterday-yesterday to talk about the author continues, have a crush on you huh?”
Samuel clucked, “Gue host, Bambang. While I don't know the source at all. Yes, I think I'll be like someone *** on stage.”
Fathur chuckles. “Ya kirain's. Though I just wanted to say, how the same son of Mr. Kyai.” Fathur raised both eyebrows to seduce Samuel.
Samuel smiled, but his smile sounded bland. “No clarity.”
Fahur laughed loudly until he hit Samuel on the shoulder. “Where to want clarity. You yourself are not clear. But the same crush of people is obvious. Like pungguk miss the moon tau nak.” Fathur spoke on the sidelines of his laughter.
Samuel hit Fathur on the head, not hard, but the man was heard complaining. “Gue sometimes not sure if you are sincerely with me.”
Fathur laughed again. Samuel put on a sour face that was so ugly.
*****
The second day orientation starts from 6 o'clock exactly. Samuel who got the job of hosting today was pacing back and forth checking the clock on his phone screen. It's almost 8, but the source is not yet on location. He will be performing at 8:15. What worries him is that Samuel does not yet know the source. He does not want to be like a goat conge because he does not recognize the source when on stage later.
When Fathur and Indri appear together with a girl, Samuel bids observe the girl. No stranger. But because of the distance from them, Samuel could not see the girl's face well.
When their distance only ranged from 5 meters, Samuel successfully gawked in place. The girl who was with Fathur and Indri, deserved that she felt that the girl was not a stranger.
“Sam is your source, who since yesterday you tanyain mulu.” Fathur held back the giggling that was already at the tip of his lips looking at Samuel's expression that was gawking at the moment.
“Young writer? Nisa?” Samuel muttered to himself, yet he could still be heard clearly in the ears of the three people who were currently standing looking at him.
Nisa puts both hands on her chest as a formality. While Samuel was still gawking, Fathur thought that Samuel was in a demonic attachment and could not restore his expression.
“Sam, relax. Already 8 o'clock.” Indri.
Samuel hastily changed his expression. His face was not so tight now. He invites Nisa into the Hall, ignoring Fathur who is still mocking at the back.
“You writer? Since when? What's your book title?”
Nisa stopped her steps. “Which one first should I answer?”
Samuel realized, the question just now was so continuous that it was confusing.
“Since when did you become a writer?” Finally he chose that one question to ask first.
“Since SMP. But just published a book 2 years ago.” Answer Nisa kalem.
“Why didn't you ever tell me you were a writer?”
“You never nanya.”
Samuel scratched his un-itchy head. “Iya also.”
Nisa wanted to laugh at Samuel's reaction at this time, but she held him back. Because his heart condition is not being able to compromise now. To be honest he was still very awkward and reluctant to meet Samuel. Recalling a few days ago, the man expressed his feelings. But he had already agreed a promise with Fathur who asked him to be a presenter. As a result, here he is now, in a spacious room lined with dozens of chairs and thousands of MABA who sit in front of the stage.
*****
In the room filled with thousands of heads, Samuel began to explain the background and purpose of the event. Not to forget, he also introduced two speakers, namely Nisa and Defara Najwa, a public influencer who doubles as a selebgram.
After giving a speech, Samuel immediately invited his speakers to give material or short lectures. The first one to fill up was Defara, the girl bringing a few jabs and motivational injections for the entire MABA.
Nisa's time to fill in the material. I don't know why Nisa's nervous. Maybe because this was the first time he was a speaker on campus, or because there was Samuel who was currently looking at him deeply. Nisa shakes. It seems the first option makes more sense.
“Ali bin Abi Thalib once said, ‘Call science by writing.’ With the message, writing is very important to understand an information or science. Islam itself has experienced a golden period, where the progress of science and technology is growing rapidly. Science will be very quickly lost if we only briefly read, even memorize without writing. Because humans are the most vulnerable creatures will forget. Especially if it is related to the age level factor and the problems experienced. Then the ones that are expected to stick very easily go.” Nisa looks so lithe carrying material.
Even Samuel almost forgot how to blink so focused on observing the girl. Nisa is really an unexpected girl. The girl always showed me the other side of her. This is what made Samuel like him.
“Each author must have his own writing style in conveying information to the universe, also different ways to make readers comfortable in enjoying his work. So the most important thing about writing besides glorifying the Creator, is not about how well we string words together, not how mountainous we are to master characters, but simple, how capable we are to understand the reader.”
A boisterous applause echoed throughout the room as Nisa closed her conversation with her beautiful quotes. The girl smiled gracefully to the entire audience.
Sayyedah Annisa's. Samuel had his name in his heart. ‘You can't go anywhere, only I will have you, hold this determination of mine.’ And the seminar was closed with a feeling of bursting in Samuel's heart. It's like celebrating a fireworks show in there.
*****
“Where did you become a speaker?” Sarah took a sitting position in front of Nisa after ordering two servings of dawet ice. A blend of brown sugar, coconut milk, dawet and ice cubes, it feels very good in broad daylight like this.
“Alhamdulillah.” Nisa stirred her dawet ice.
“Samuel the show host, right? How are you feeling?” Sarah teases Nisa again. Her grim face managed to make Nisa upset.
Nisa grunting, “Regular aja.”
“Long.” Sarah knows.
“Totally. How should I react?”
Sarah pulled her chair closer. “Your heart is not jedar like firecrackers in the night takbiran?”
Nisa hissing ticklish, “Aaan anyway, Rah. Yes no, very alay.”
Sarah shook her head, ”Neither can be let go. How do you feel about Samuel?”
Nisa's sniffing his shoulders indifferently. “Entah.”
Sarah felt anxious herself to see the innocence of her best friend who she thought looked ridiculous. “Vika samuel.” Sarah likes to be on the point sometimes. The words that come out of his mouth are sometimes unexpected.
And the sentence succeeded in making Nisa stop her ice drinking activities. which “Vika?”
“Ya Vika BEM secretary. Savika Christin.”
Nisa doesn't think Vika likes Samuel. All he knew was that the two had been quite close. During his time in Pesantren, Samuel often visited Vika at his place of stay. At times, Vika made special meals for Samuel. Nisa thought, what she had seen so far was commonplace, where the relationship between the two was only limited to coworkers. Nisa never thought that the two had a special relationship. If Vika likes Samuel, then what about Samuel? Does he like Vika too?
“He knows Samuel likes you. But I don't think Samuel knows that Vika is like him.”
Sarah's sentence just answered the question in Nisa's mind. But he couldn't fully believe it. Whatever Sarah says is only limited to her predictions and perspective.
“Vika non, yes?” This time Nisa's the one who's been voting.
Sarah nodded, “Iya. That's why you have to say goodbye Samuel.”
“Congratulations Samuel, meaning?”
“If Samuel is with Vika, he will not be able to continue the process of self-improvement as he is doing now.”
Nisa's eyebrows raised one. “But if Samuel can pull Vika, it's good.”
Sarah sighed in frustration, “Nis, Nis, when the hell are you trying to be self-important? If Samuel is the same Vika, how are you?”
Something pinched Nisa's heart. The girl was silent. Because he did not know, whether what he felt to Samuel right now is the feeling of love or just mere lust.
“What is your feeling for Samuel?” Sarah is back to voice.
Nisa fell silent before finally answering, “Ngak know. I don't understand, Rah.”
Sarah had guessed. Her innocent friend had never discussed the issue of romance before. Even Sarah had thought that romance never entered the dictionary of Nisa's life. And because of that innocence, Nisa now looks like an elementary school child who does not understand the logarithmic lessons. Of course I don't understand, because it's not their domain. That's what Nisa is like. Nisa does not understand her own feelings because she has never been in contact with the word love before.
“If you meet Samuel there is a strange feeling, no?” This time Sarah tried to lure Nisa to understand what she was feeling all along.
“What's odd?” Nisa is confused by Sarah's question.
Sarah snarled then patted the frustrated eel. “OK, look. Do you have a bad feeling when you meet Samuel?”
Nisa fell silent, but then hesitated.
“There is a sense of seneng that is very late if you are talking about something what is it?”
“You feel sad when I say Vika likes Samuel?”
This time Nisa fell silent, not responding.
“Nis!”
Nisa nodded.
“Fix, you like Samuel.” Sarah exclaims.
“Rah.” Nisa whining.
“Nisa, that Samuel chose you, not Vika. So you don't have to doubt. Help Samuel to study religion. And one more, do not hesitate to feel your own.’
“Not that, Rah. I'm afraid that my feelings are just lust. You know, love before marriage is a danger.”
Sarah seemed to think. “Mmm.. What if you tell Samuel to meet Mr Kyai?”
Nisa flabbergasted. “Not possible, Rah. I don't dare.”
“What makes you not brave?”
Nisa dissolves in worry. “I've never talked about this problem with Abi.”
“Yes so try it first. But you should talk to Samuel first.”
*****
Vika plays her avocado juice straw. View down. Only silence surrounded the cafeteria table.
“You want until when is diem-dieman like that?” Sarah who began to be saturated with a situation that she thought was not very good finally raised her voice to break the silence.
Samuel scratched his un-itchy head.
“Or are you awkward to talk because there's me? Then I go. You can talk.” Sarah got up from her seat. But not yet fully standing, Nisa pulled her hand until the girl sat back down.
“Do not. Here aja.” Nisa throws a hearty look, as if saying ‘please don't stayin me.’
Nisa took off Nisa's hand checks gently, “I'm just at the table next door. I am not papa.” Sarah hurriedly lifted her legs, before Nisa prevented him again.
Samuel and Nisa are left. Nisa was twisting the tip of her headscarf, her gaze was still as it was, looking down. Samuel looked at Nisa silently.
Feeling that there would be no obroloan before he started, Samuel cleared his throat.
“What's up, Nis?”
Nisa was trying to improve her unreasonable mood. With a rough breath, he finally raised his head. “About your words back then.” Nisa gathered all her courage to discuss the matter.
Samuel knitting eyebrows, “Which one?”
“Yang that time.”
“Which one, Nisa?” Samuel teases Nisa, until the girl seems misbehaved. A red hue spread across both of his cheeks.
“About your feelings.” Nisa said the sentence with one breath.
Samuel desperately held back his smile. “What's up? I'm not telling you to answer. The issue of feeling is your absolute prerogative. I just want you to know.”
“So it's okay if I ignore it?”
Samuel chuckles. “If you can do not ignore. If you can yes.”
“You're sure your feelings aren't lust?”
Samuel frowned. “Nafsu?”
Nisa nodded in response.
“Nis. You said falling in love was a fitrah. I was just accepting my character as a human being. I didn't ask you out anyway. I'm not forcing you to return my feelings either.”
Nisa speechless. His heart and mind are unsettled. Like there is a tangled thread that is not found at the end to remove the winding.
“I'm not a good man, Nis. But I also still appreciate women, especially you.”
Nisa shakes. It seems Samuel misunderstood. “That's not what I mean, you misunderstood.”
Samuel looked at Nisa questioningly.
“So like this, Islam only offers commitment. But at that time you said you liked me, but haven't been able to give me commitment. As a woman, what do you think I should do?”
“Please know,Nisa.” Samuel looked at Nisa with a hard-to-understand look.
Nisa closed her eyes. With all the courage he had left, he said a sentence he might regret afterwards. “What if I also have the same feeling?”
Samuel was stunned. Gawking fully. He felt that time suddenly stopped turning. “You just said what?” Believe me, Samuel said the sentence just now without expression.
Nisa's getting deeper. “You've heard.” Even his voice was just like a tweet.
“You have the same feeling as me? Then you like me? You reply to my feelings?”
“Not be clarified. Just answer my question.” At this time Nisa's face is like a boiled crab doused in tomato sauce.
“I Just made sure. I misheard.”
Nisa did not answer. The girl looks wrong. Not a single moment did he raise his face to return Samuel's gaze. He squeezes his own fingers to relieve nervousness.
“If you have the same feeling it is much better.” Samuel chuckles. “I never even thought a girl like you could fall in love with a begundal boy like me.”
Nisa is still silent. Samuel was afraid of the caliph and took the girl into his arms and ruffled the top of his head, finally trying to neutralize the situation. “You can wait for me?”
“Hah?” Nisa frowned, not understanding Samuel's words.
“I can't give you a commitment yet. But that doesn't mean I'm the kind of guy who can't give me certainty. I want us to have a serious, legitimate relationship. But not now. Wait until I am able and quite science.”
“I fear, if because of this feeling God wrath.”
Samuel fell silent. Thinking of Nisa's words. He's never experienced this before. It turned out that Nisa was much more complicated than she thought.
“We're not dating. I'm just asking you not to put your feelings on another man. So too with me. I promise you, I won't choose anyone but you. Wait for me, Nis. You know, walking into a serious relationship is not easy. Marriage is not something that can be considered a joke. We need to have enough knowledge to get there. Without knowledge, we are like blind men walking on the brink. When he steps a little wrong, then he will fall mired."
“What makes you sure to choose me?”
“Simple only. You are different from the other women I met.”
“Where is the difference?”
Samuel smiled. “I think, no need to mention one by one. Too many. If you want to know, the representative. You're the only woman who got me back to God.”
“The father came from God. Creatures do not have any power to bring guidance to one's heart.”
“I know. But Allah made you his intermediary.” Samuel is optimistic.
“I cannot guarantee to continue to be able to reach you.”
Samuel rubbed his rough face. “Why?”
“Give me clarity, how long should I wait.”
Samuel fell silent. Trying to figure out what he was going to say.
“After graduation?”
“How about your lecture? I hear you rarely follow lectures.”
Samuel grinned the horse, then nodded. “But I can clear all.”
“Don't overcomplicate something when you promise someone. Pastika used to be that you were capable of.”
Samuel stared at Nisa intensely. I guessed the girl's way of thinking.
“How can I convince you?”
Nisa takes a rough breath, “Meet Abiku, and convey your intentions.”
Samuel came back. Meet Nisa's parents? Doesn't that mean he's being challenged to a proposal by the girl? For a moment his mind was in chaos. He did not want to lose a beautiful gemstone like Nisa. But he also could not meet the girl's parents. What will he have to say later? What if Nisa's parents reject i’tikad's good? Samuel ruffled his hair in frustration. Even he did not realize, that Nisa was no longer in front of him.
