The Halal Love

29

The night is calm and warm. The sky was clear without cloudiness. Sometimes we see the stars blink. The land wind blows back into the sea. But the salty smell of sea water faintly smelled. Hakuku Matana Inn is located not far from the beach and sea. 5-minute walk to the beach.

A beautiful garden lay beside the inn, leading to the sea. On one of the park benches, Samuel squirms. After nearly 2 hours he sat down, none of the things raging in his mind were resolved.

The sound of vibrating strings being picked up and the strains of songs sung by some people sounded from the direction of the inn. Occasional laughter blaring and giggling echo not to be outdone by the sound of waves pounding in the sea.

Today is the day of the disbandment of the orientation committee. Orientation ended 5 days ago. And disbandment was carried out at Sawarna Beach. The organizers chose Sawarna as a destination to unwind after almost 2 months of preparing the completeness of orientation. Sawarna Beach is also a beach that is still beautiful because it has not been managed and developed like other beaches.

Samuel glanced at his watch at 01 in the morning. Because he was used to staying up late, his eyes did not feel drowsiness at all. Coupled with his tired mind, unanswered questions, all became one dancing inside his head. It has been almost a week since his meeting with Nisa discussed the relationship, but Samuel still found no answer to his choice. The offer that Nisa made was as if a heavy item that had to be forced to carry when she was unable to. It hard.

After his meeting a few days ago with Nisa, Samuel never again met the girl. He never contacted her either. It's not just trying to escape reality, it's just that he needs time to think. Meeting the parents of the girl you like is no joke. Added to that arrival in addition to a certain purpose. Thinking about it made Samuel's head throb.

Samuel felt himself unable to step into a serious relationship. There is a lot to fix first. Like his worship, his knowledge, especially his lectures. If he came and asked carefully Nisa to Mr. Kyai, then surely Mr. Kyai will ask how about the lecture. There is no way Samuel would say that college does not guarantee the future. Even if brave, maybe the auto was kicked out of his house.

Samuel wriggled, stretching his stiff muscles.

“The sea, the night wind, and someone sitting alone. Hmm let me guess, galau?”

Vika landed her butt on a long bench in the garden, right next to Samuel. Samuel had a quick glance, a second later the view was fixed straight ahead, on the vast expanse of the ocean in the middle of the night.

“Nisa?” Vika reopens the sound.

Samuel nodded and put his jacket together. The cold sea breeze at night felt piercing the skin.

“What's up?” Vika asked carefully.

Samuel stared at Vika, “What do you think women need most in a relationship?”

Vika frowning, “Certitude?” Vika hesitated with her own answer.

Samuel scratched his nape. He returned to his original position, his eyes closed. Vika watched from the side. Samuel's face was so dazzling, coupled with the moonlight bias that hit the man's face in the middle of the darkness.

“Gue intends to push Nisa towards a more serious relationship.” Samuel muttered, his eyes still closed.

Vika froze in place. His eyes widened. Then bitter laughter slipped out. A paper that was in his grasp in a crumpled to formless. “Lo is still in college. You want to feed his son what people use?” Vika laughs. However, his laughter sounded awkward.

Samuel chuckled, he opened his eyes. “Ya use rice, stone time.”

“Lecture is not right, how can you say you want to go to a serious relationship.” A smile still lingered on Vika's lips, but it meant nothing, her laughter was fake.

Samuel growled, then let out a rough breath. “Gue doesn't know, if Nisa is more complicated than I imagined.”

“Women are like that. If there is the most complicated thing in the world, then women are in the top position.”

Samuel chuckles. “Where with lo? You are also a woman.”

Vika threw her gaze away from Samuel's face, “Gue is also complicated. But it can still be understood.”

Samuel ruffled Vika's hair. “And I have managed to understand lo.” Samuel flashed his magical smile to Vika. Vika sculpted, cursing the deeds of Samuel who brazenly resurrected the stupid cupids in his heart. But immediately Vika brushed off, as if waking up from a long sleep without a dream. He wanted to close his eyes, pretending nothing had ever happened. Because he does not want to feel pain for the umpteenth time.

*****

July has entered the dry season. Hot air is blowing. Unfortunately, the AC canteen chose to be damaged at the wrong time. The window was wide open, hoping for the wind to come in. But the heat still swirled around in the room. Hope of coolness is hung on the fan that comes out forcibly from the warehouse.

Nisa lifted the half-living red bean ice. A melt-ice catch soaked a patch of glass on his desk. Nisa involuntarily observed it, forgetting to wet her throat, until a vaguely reflected face appeared. The face gripped him carefully. It looked so alive and was about to come out of the glass. Then Nisa frowned along with her lips that mentioned a name. Samuel. Why could he see the man's face behind the glass, ah it seemed that he was already insane. Nisa shook her head, then said Istighfar.

“You can usually write from where?” Samuel asked as Nisa looked up to him.

Nisa's reflexes retreated in shock. Samuel's left hand swiftly caught the glass that was about to fall. Unintentionally part of her finger touched Nisa's fingers.

Nisa reflexively pulled the glass and placed it hard. “Astaghfirullah. What are you doing here?”

Samuel smiled, as usual, charming. “Customize answering first questions, just make a new question.”

Nisa cleared her throat to neutralize her mood. “You don't need the answer. Just answer my question, what are you doing here?”

The nature of Nisa that Samuel had just learned. Stubborn and unwilling to give up. Samuel put his hands into a bag of jeans, then heated around, then bowed. “I'm here specifically to see you.”

Nisa flabbergasted. He did not make an appointment to meet Samuel. The back canteen also seemed not to be the man's hangout, considering that the canteen was only visited by students who stopped by the Library alone, as she recalled Nisa almost never saw Samuel to the Library. The back canteen is her favorite place with Sarah, ah Sarah, Nisa just remembered that all this must have been Sarah. It was Sarah who asked him to come to the back cafeteria. He tells Nisa to leave first, with an alibi that there are still group tasks that she must complete.

“Sarah, yes?”

Samuel chuckles. “Don't be angry with Sarah. Because I asked for help with him.”

Nisa growled in her heart, yet she still looked calm. “What's up?”

Samuel pulled the chair in front of him. “About your offer that time.”

Nisa raised both eyebrows. Makes Samuel understand. “I've decided.”

Nisa's eyes closed for a moment. A deep breath makes his back more upright. Then his eyes opened, “What's your decision?”

“I'll see Mr. Kyai.”

Nisa had guessed. The man in front of him was a man who loved struggle. At least that's what he often heard from Sarah's story. No wonder, if he is fully determined to realize his wishes.

“Good. You can come to Home tonight.”

Nisa picked up her bag that was lying on the side bench. He immediately rushed away after saying the sentence just now.

*****

“Sorry to interrupt the time for a while Mr. Kyai, there is something I want to say.”

“Sorry Mr. Kyai, I came here with the intention.”.

Samuel was angry with himself. He was not usually at a loss for words like this now. He is usually the most articulate, in any situation. Even he was more capable than Fathur. He is more often encouraged to be a speaker at certain events. But tonight, I don't know where he's running, he's talking.

It has been more than 15 minutes, Samuel sat on the bike, in front of the Pesantren Park. I don't know how many students who knew him reprimanded every time they passed. Samuel sat there. Mosquitoes that suck their blood occasionally don't care anymore. Until the ringing sound of the cell phone from his pants pocket vibrated.

“Assalamu’alaikum. You where? Abi is waiting.”

Samuel nodded. Stupid, it's certain Nisa across there doesn't see. “I'm in the parking lot. Otw there, yes.” The sound of the ruckus covered his nervousness.

The connection was broken after Nisa said Greetings. Samuel took a deep breath and threw it away. In neatening the collar of the shirt he was wearing, then at a glance he stared at the reflection in the mirror in the motorbike.

Her hair was neatly combed and tied back. The army shirt dress wrapped in jeans makes it look a little different than usual.

Gathering all his courage, Samuel stepped into the grounds of the pesantren. Then walk straight towards a House located in the corner, next to the Mosque.

As soon as he got to the door, Samuel read a prayer, whatever prayer he memorized. With an optimistic gesture, knock on the door in front of him. “Assalamu’alaikum.”

The typical baritone voice of the fathers is heard. When the door was opened, Mr. Kyai's face poked behind the door leaf. Samuel's heart felt at the pump so fast. Cold sweat soaked his palms and the tip of his forehead.

After greeting Mr. Kyai and being let in, Samuel sat in the living room. There was no conversation between the two. Even he felt that currently Mr. Kyai was looking at him deeply as if he was about to tweet it.

nisa's arrival breaks the silence. The girl came out of nowhere, it was possible for the kitchen, carrying a tray of warm green tea and snack setoples.

“Hmm.” Mr. Kyai cleared his throat. “So what's up, son Samuel?”

Samuel looks. Found the face of Nisa who although looks calm, but can not be denied that she is restless in there.

“Begini Pak Kyai, I have a good i’tikad with Nisa.” Samuel desperately tried to hold back his insane heartbeat.

“Previous, if you may know, you are here already have permission from parents?”

Samuel shook. “But I'm sure, they always accept my decision.”

“What if not?”

“They always support the good things I did Mr. Kyai, InsyaAllah.”

Mr. Kyai was silent. He saw Samuel's unshakable nature. “What made you fall for Nisa?”

“Nisa is different from other women. There are some things about Nisa that I can't find in the women I've met all this time.”

Mr. Kyai exhaled a rough breath. He believed in the determination of the young man before him, but there was a part of him that felt doubtful. “How is your science?”

This time Samuel was silent for quite a while. He rubbed his nape, “I am still in the process stage, Mr. Kyai.”

Nisa noticed the interaction of the two with feelings of anxiety. He was afraid if his Abinya spoke a no-no.

“Now Abi asked you, nduk. Do you have the same feelings as Samuel?”

Nisa is scared. He hid his face with a deep bow. He wanted to get out of this stressful situation.

“There is no most potent remedy for two people in love except marriage.” Mr. Kyai looked at Samuel. Watching the young man's expression of his words. “But there is still one more way that can minimize, namely fasting.”

Samuel fell silent. He did not respond to Mr. Kyai's remarks.

“Samuel, I personally do not accept you. I just want you to learn first. Being the head of the household is not easy. After your knowledge is adequate, you can come again here.”

Samuel nodded. There was a hint of disappointment running through his heart.

“I often see you with Ustadz Agam.”

Samuel nodded quickly, “Iya Pak Kyai, I learned njai.” Samuel did not want to cover up any of his shortcomings. For him it is better to be reproached for his shortcomings, than to be praised for wanting to look perfect.

Mr. Kyai nodded. “Then, son, learn first. Demand as much knowledge as possible, so that your supplies are adequate to welcome the future later.”

Samuel did not say anything, he gripped the seat. His lips were tightly clenched. He's looking down deep. Has he just been rejected? With a very fine language? Samuel laughed at himself in his heart. He should have known himself long ago, that Nisa was something he could not achieve, never would.

*****

“Nduk, your feelings have arisen since Samuel held activities in Pesantren, right?”

Nisa looking up. Since then he has just been down inside. Given that her Abinya had just rejected Samuel, there was a small part of her heart that was wounded. No, not a little, but almost most of his heart felt disappointed.

“Really, Nis?”

Nisa nodded. If Abinya is no longer using the frills of ‘nduk’ to call him, it means he is serious. “Abi guess?” Ask Nisa later.

Abi shaking. “Abi was also once young. Highlight Samuel's eyes, the way he looks at you, the way he talks to you, from all that Abi can guess that he has feelings for you.”

Nisa blinked her eyes in amazement. Didn't think her ashes could be that smart. A second later he tried to defend Samuel. “He's a good boy, Bi.”

Abi breathes tired, “Nduk, there are many good men who want to be with you. Not just him. You see Naim, that young man also secretly has feelings for you?”

Nisa glares unperya. “Naim, Bi?”

Abi nodded. “He once expressed his feelings for you to Abi.”

Mr. Kyai rubbed Nisa's shoulders gently. “Nduk, a good man is he who keeps his feelings close to the woman he loves, why? Because he was afraid, if his feelings actually harmed the woman. He is afraid, if because of his feelings, God is angry.”

“But Samuel also already has a good i’tikad by visiting Abi and conveying his intentions.” Nisa. He does not accept that Abinya is not objective in judging.

“Iya, Abi tau. Abi appreciate that. But what use did he come up with without having readiness? Marriage is no joke, Nduk. Building a household ark is not just on the basis of likes and likes, but how can someone be responsible for his marriage.”

Nisa speechless. Tears welled up in her eyes. “What's wrong if Nisa hopes that Nisa can lead her to improve herself? Nisa hopes that with a more serious relationship, she can learn from Nisa. And Nisa can share the knowledge that Nisa has.”

Abi shaking. Despite understanding the stubborn character of her daughter, Nisa still has to be directed. “Nduk, is there anything that can guarantee that you can do that? Abi understands how you feel. But in this world, not everything you can control with your hands. There are a few things you should let go of.”

A single tear escaped wetting Nisa's cheek. This was the first time he felt the true feeling of falling in love with someone, yet this was also his first heartbreak because of that person as well.

*****

Alila had just finished teaching him. He was about to leave the mosque, but his steps came to a halt when his net fell on the back of a man who was walking straight ahead of him. In silence he observes. Alila knew exactly, that there was something going on with the man. The 2 years together made her understand a little bit more of the man's attitude and nature.

The man stopped in the parking lot. Then sit on the motor. His head was bowed, occasionally a heavy sigh came out of his lips.

“Sam.”

The man looked up. Her eyes are red. When he saw who was in front of him, he immediately turned the key, about to turn on the motor.

“Wait!” Alila held back Samuel's hand, but was violently brushed.

“Lo why did I come here?” His tone was trembling, but full of anger.

Alila shakes. He did not follow Samuel. True, he still expected Samuel and several times he asked to meet, but that does not mean he has the intention to stalk the man. “I didn't follow you.” Her speech.

Samuel smiled in anguish. “If you don't follow me, keep doing here?”

“I go here.”

Samuel laughed, not a happy laugh, but a contemptible laugh. “OK okay, hopefully your words are guaranteed by the Angel. Although you are currently lying.”

“I'm not lying!” Alila screaming. I was upset because Samuel always thought it was bad.

“Oh yes? Unfortunately I have no reason to believe.” Samuel turned the engine back on. As soon as the engine was on, he immediately hit the gas leaving Alila money still standing in place.

Samuel hated. I hate him more than anything. A Samuel who used to never even say rude to him, today it is precisely the curse that he always uttered when he met him. But not the slightest feeling that Alila had for the man changed. Even though Samuel hated him, his heart still kept the same feeling intact. Alila was sure, no matter how much Samuel hated her at this time, she would also still have some memories when she was with him first. People change, but memories don’t.