The Forgotten Asmara

Asmara Unek-unek..

I immediately ran small towards the byan apartment. I can't wait for my heart to see him, afraid that he'll leave again. Juna who followed me from behind seemed overwhelmed. Because juna had to carry some files in his hand.

"Mara??" Byan opened the door of his apartment surprised by my presence.

"Mass? How are you?" I put a big smile in front of him.

"Sorry sir, I've already banned it but...."

"You can go juna. Thanks." Byan cuts off the unfinished juna speech and grabs the file in juna's hand.

"Good sir. Excuse me." Juna immediately left byan as well as me.

"Please enter the mara.." Byan came in and I caught up with him.

I smiled happily when I met someone that I missed so many days. Not knowing where this courage came from, I immediately hugged the byan tightly from behind.

"I miss you, mom..." The sound of my voice can be heard by byan. But byan just peg no reaction whatsoever.

"Mas, I really miss you. Do you feel the same?" The more I pressed my hold on him, but byan kept quiet. I can hear his heartbeat, but not so loud.

Byan grabbed my hand and tried to let go of my embrace. Byan turned his position towards me until now we faced each other.

"Mara's? ii'm sorry. I have to go to Jakarta now!" Byan stared at my eyeball.

"Now? Why do I have to go?" I asked to return his gaze.

"Mara, my flight to Jakarta is in an hour. I need to get to the airport." Byan answered my question, while heading to his room I continued to follow him. Byan tidied some of his clothes into a suitcase.

"Maass, what am I to you???" My question made Byan stop.

"Mara's? do I have to discuss this now? I'm in a hurry." Answer byan and continue his activities again.

"Does that mean I don't mean anything?" I asked again with eyes that were slightly reddened.

"Mas, am I the one who must constantly understand your situation? while with my situation? do you want to understand? Can't you see my sincerity all this time? Am I really not worthy of you?? Why mas?? Please give me an explanation!!" I really can't take it anymore. I want it to feel like the chunks in my heart are spilling out.

"Hmmmmm....." Byan took a long breath. "I'm sorry, I've been wrong to treat you to make you misunderstand."

"Misunderstand? what do you mean, mas?" I really don't understand byan's words.

"Mara, I do care about you. But that doesn't mean more than that. I hope you understand." Byan was approaching me. He took both my hands and clasped my fingers.

"I'm sorry mara.. I have to go." Byan let go of his grasp and stepped towards the exit.

"I love you, byan.. Really love you..." I can't stand my tears anymore. Until I put out my cry here. But byan doesn't care. Byan just kept going with his steps.

After a few minutes, Juna came to see me. I bet juna was ordered byan to pick me up. Like what happened a while ago. When Byan chased after the woman and left me. Yeah, that woman won a lot. He was always being chased by a byan. Though she had already left byan by marrying her brother, is it possible that byan has now left me because of that woman again????

"Sir byan asked me to take you home.." Juna let out his voice after a few minutes of standing still in front of the door.

"Thank you, but I can go home by myself.."I stood up and took my foot out. But juna blocked me, juna pulled my arm until my body was close to him.

"Let me drop off, I know you're not okay.."

I threw my head down in the field of juna. Until I continued my delayed cry. Juna patted me softly on the shoulder. Maybe this time I really have no shame, there were about fifteen minutes I cried until I realized and confirmed my position.

"It's over??" juna asked to convince me.

"He'll.." I nodded slowly.

We walked out of the apartment byan.

Juna kept leading me to his car park. We were in the car without any sound. I didn't feel like I closed my eyes and fell asleep.