SECRET Love High School

Suppose

“Not going to be lost the month, not to be noticed until like that,” sounds Dimas disperse my daydream.

Apparently he was standing under my bedroom window looking at the same moon as me. I smiled seeing him.

“Eh you, home from the mosque?” ask me about Dimas

“Yes, then I saw an angel who was longing for the moon, it seemed like he wanted to go home there,” said Dimas while pointing towards the moon was shining. I just laughed and Dimas suddenly asked

“Magain think Abas ya?”

I was surprised to hear him mention Abas by name. Why does he think I'm thinking about Abas?

“I went to America besides really wanting to go to school there too so you don't have to hesitate if you like each other,” said Dimas while leaning his left shoulder on the window leaf of my room.

“What do you mean?” ask me for wonder

“I know you like Abas, so does Abas, so I think it's better that I stay away so that you guys can be free. It's too late, the senses I realized sooner, I won't be a hindrance to you guys, ” said Dimas as he kicked the pebbles slowly on the ground

“Where did you know about me and Abas?” ask me curious

“Aura told me,” Dimas said later

“What ? Aura also knows?” ask me to be surprised

“Aura told me that Abas had invited him to dinner together to say that what he liked was you,” Unveiled Dimas to me

“Not Abas expressed feelings to Aura back then?” my many do not understand

“That is the problem, Aura many times wanted to explain it to you but you never gave him a chance,” Said Dimas which made me remember the time when I was trying to avoid the gang of kriwul and Abas.

-*-*_*-*-

After the graduation exam I rarely get together with the kriwul gang, I keep avoiding them especially Aura. I felt that I would not be able to hear the happy story between Aura and Abas. I always make studying for college entrance exam preparation an excuse. They also invited me to study together at the Aura house but I refused, I said if I had taken a staging lesson. Until the day of the graduation announcement I also did not participate in the celebration. Vacation plans in the villa I also missed it.

“Eka SMA we passed 100%, Dimas got a perfect score and got the award of the best graduate of National,” said Ayu with a stir he looks very happy I just smile.

“We exchange signatures in our clothes yuk, I bring a marker nih,” take Diah while showing a marker in his hand

“Sorry I did not follow, I promise I will give my uniform to my sister's friend,” I subtly refused Diah's request

“We celebrate graduation at my house? Invite Rendi, Abas and Dimas all talking about vacation plans in the villa,” Take Aura to the kriwul gang

“Sorry today I have an appointment and it looks like I can't take that vacation because there are affairs that I can't leave,” this time I refused Aura's invitation.

At that time I thought that Aura and Abas had made it and then met them while both would make awkward susana that maybe I could not help myself. Therefore I chose to withdraw from the association with the kriwul gang and others.

I also remember Aura trying to talk about Abas on graduation day but I avoided her. I don't know why at that time I felt so sure that Aura and Abas had been dating and Aura would only continue to confide in her relationship with Abas so I felt unable to just talk to Aura.

“Geng, let's take a photo together for a memento,” invite Ayu and then we take a photo several times in front of the graduation hall

“I say I want the same photo classmate first yes,” said I resigned

“Ka wait, can we chat together after this?” ask Aura

“Sorry but I've been waited on by my parents,” I replied trying to dodge

“This about Abas Ka!” aura tried to convince me

“Sorry Ra but I can't, you tell the others,” I replied as I hurriedly left my friends and headed for my classmate. There I met Abas, but I also avoided him

“Ka can I have a minute?”pinta Abas to me

“Sorry I hastily my parents have been waiting,” I replied refusing Abas' request.

After a few photos with my classmates, I left school. That day I was not excited I mean I was happy to finally graduate with satisfactory grades but I was sad to be separated from my friends and Abas with a bad condition.

-*-*_*-*-

“On graduation day I was looking for you but Aura said you have come home,” Said Dimas who was still standing leaning against the wall of my room

“Oh yes that day we have not had a photo yet? Sorry I didn't have time to greet you,” said I felt guilty for leaving Dimas on High School graduation day.

“Aura asked for time to talk about you alone with me, at that time I felt like I was the stupidest person in the world ”

Dimas told a story while occasionally sighing long seemed like he was remembering the time

“Aura what stories?” I still want to make sure if Aura really knows everything

“Abas is kind to Aura because he is your friend, but Abas does not want him to misunderstand and hopes more for it Abas explained if the truth he likes is you and so do you,” said Dimas while looking away at the moon

“Then is Aura angry?” aska wants to know

“Why didn't you say that time?” ask me about Dimas

“The last time we met I couldn't say much, I wanted to say it but couldn't, all my words were stuck in the throat not coming out, I couldn't, I couldn't,” I understand what Dimas felt at that time, I also did so to Aura and Abas.

That night we went back to reminiscing about the past, actually I hesitated to talk about it, afraid that Dimas would get angry again like on a train. But I need an explanation of what Dimas said. I mean, I decided to keep my own story with Abas because I wanted to keep the feelings of Dimas and Aura from getting hurt. But after hearing Dimas' story I felt like I was the only one who knew nothing.

“On the night of farewell I hit Abas,” Dimas said as he closed his eyes, I saw a deep regret on him

“Sorry, because I broke your friendship,” I said with regret

“Since my start was wrong, I liked you but continued to trouble him to take care of you while I was alone with my world, with my ambition, it was not Abas' fault if then he fell for you, you are indeed a special woman Ka, instead I hit her because she let you grieve,” This time Dimas spoke while looking at me with a look full of regret

“Not Abas but I caused all that to happen,” I said feeling guilty.

“If he's a man he should dare to fight for you, if fighting alone can't how will he be able to make you happy? I don't have a coward's best friend! That's what makes me angry,” Dimas conveyed his heart full of emotion as if he was back in those days.

-*-*_*-*-

I remember the night of farewell, I didn't come to school. I don't want to meet anyone. I packed things to take home, at that time I intended to immediately move from the boarding house so as not to meet friends anymore.

“Udah packing? Really want to move? Well I'm alone dong?” kak Ana complained to me, at that time Kak Ajeng was married to Kak Joni.

“Winny hunt pass!” I replied while teasing Sister Ana who was dizzy finishing her script

“Yes, God willing next semester I graduate, pray yes,”

“Amin, may the marriage spit also followed Kak Ajeng,”

“Amin, but the candidate is not yet hahahaha,” replied Kak Ana squeezed with a laugh

“Kak Ana anyway who want a lot of stay choose aja,” answer me nosy

“But I want it like Dimas hahaha, uh until I forgot earlier I saw Dimas in Bu Ida's shop,” I just kept quiet “Looks like he's looking for you again, deh, you're nervous so look at our boarding continues,” Sister Ana tried to convince me to go out to see Dimas

At that time I wanted to ignore it but my little heart didn't want to. Besides not having time to talk much at the graduation ceremony this afternoon I was also curious why he was here instead of at school to attend the farewell event. I finally went out to meet him. At that time he didn't say much, he just looked at me sharply and said goodbye.

“Dimas why are you here?” I said hello to Dimas who I saw at that time was pacing fretfully in front of the Bu Ida stall, I had never seen Dimas like that.

“I am going to America,” he replied after a long silence to see me

“Loss that scholarship? Congratulations, I am proud that you are the best graduate and now pass the scholarship that you hoped for, from the beginning I am sure you can definitely achieve what you aspire to,” I congratulated Dimas but he just silently looked at me very sharply and said goodbye.

That day was the last time I saw Dimas, I kept looking at him from the point I was standing. He's getting away until he's lost in distance. That day I was so sad, I even cried all day until my eyes were swollen.

One week passed, I heard Dimas was going to Jakarta for language stabilization. I wanted to go up to him and say good-bye but I don't know why my leg got stuck. I cried again, I don't know what I cried but it was hard to imagine that there was no Dimas beside me, no one would comfort me, no more idle and make me angry. If that day I came and said see you again or don't even go maybe the burden on my chest would feel lighter.

-*-*_*-*-

“Are you sorry now?” ask Dimas to me who might seem dreamy in Dimas' eyes

“Sorry now it's no use. It's too late, the fact is I'm not a match for Abas,” I said making Dimas smile

“Do you still like Abas?” dimas asked later, this time I was the one smiling.

“If I could do anything? Now that both Abas, Aura, Ayu and Diah are married and happy with their new lives, I think maybe I should also find my own happiness,” I said with a smile and greeted by a Dimas smile

“Eka,” Dimas said my name like he was about to say something but his words were held back by Dad who suddenly appeared

“Ehem hem,” Daddy was understanding like he was not feeling well. He walked with Dwi from the direction of the mosque. Dimas who saw Dad was immediately wrong

“Eh Dad, anu just stopped by this already want to go home hehehehe, assalamualaikum,” said Dimas while kissing Father's hand and just run away.

“Why him? Daddy people want to tell him to come in sitting inside to have a better conversation and even run away,” said Dad while shaking his head. Me and Dwi just laughed at Dimas's silliness.

Dad and Dwi walked into the house, I was still leaning against my bedroom window while looking at the moon that was slowly covered in clouds. As usual, the phrase rumbled in my mind.

Had I clearly said from the beginning if what I wanted was Abas instead of Dimas maybe my high school love story wouldn't have ended like this. If I were to express my heart to my High School friends and be braver in the face of problems maybe our relationship wouldn't be like this. Maybe if I don't keep it a secret then Abas and I can be together, maybe we can all still see each other and exchange news.

Now I regret having been a coward and choosing to avoid trouble. If today I don't meet Dimas, if Dimas doesn't tell me everything, I don't know how long I'll keep shackling myself in the past. I can't change what has happened but I want to improve the conditions to bring back the lost fifteen years. Thank you, thank you very much for bringing a new perspective to me.

I may never reveal it, to me Dimas is everything. He is a friend when happy, a brother when difficult and a sister when annoying. As long as we're apart there's no day without me missing him. When I'm in trouble I remember him saying this every time I complain

“everyone must have a hard time, even I who is a genius is also difficult to win the heart of an Eka,”

I always hit him every time he said that, but I was not really angry, instead I was comforted and excited again. I didn't take his words seriously, I just thought he was trying to comfort me.

In my story that is Dimas Nuzulazmi, he is the source of the problems in my life, but he is also the solution of my every problem. He was like a poison antidote made from the poison itself. I can feel very upset and very happy when I am with him. Welcome old friend, welcome to meet again.