SECRET Love High School
The Clouded Heart
Tinkling alarm woke me, it felt very lazy to get out of bed but as usual Kak Ajeng had awakened me and Kak Ana to pray at dawn. My eyes were swollen by last night's crying, fortunately today is Sunday I can continue sleeping while compressing my eyes to make them fresher. After the dawn prayer Kak Ana gave me a letter.
“Ka, yesterday Dimas came here again, I thought you were not wanting to be disturbed, so I said you have slept,” Kak Ana told me
“Iya brother thanks,” I replied limp
“Say he wants to Jakarta continue this nitip for you,”
I received the letter but I didn't read it just I put it under my pillow. All day long I just sleep idling, Kak Ajeng and Kak Ana go to the cafe to find materials for college assignments. At that time there was not much wifi let alone internet packages like now that everyone can access the internet from his android or smart phone.
In the afternoon before I made my bed, I took a letter from Dimas that I had placed under my pillow. I just looked at her thinking of throwing it away or returning it. As if I already know what it is I do not want to read it or rather whatever it is I do not want to know, I just want to end this misunderstanding.
“The letter was written to be read not just in view” said Kak Ana
I don't want to respond to Kak Ana's comments, I crumple the letter and I throw it in the trash in the corner of the room. Ana and Ajeng looked at each other, I lay back on the bed. Apparently Ana took the letter and read it
“You guys dating?” Ana handed over the letter to Ajeng
“When did you guys make it? How did you tell us?” ask Kak Ajeng to know
“Already ah brother I do not want to discuss it” said I was upset
“Duh I'm more in love with Dimas, already handsome, pinter, good, patient also ngadepin girl kayak you Ka” said Kak Ana annoyed
“Ana said she wants to practice wall climbing? Hunting go there!” Ajeng tried to stop Ana
“You want what the hell Ka? Dimas' feeling was wrong continues the same as you,”
“Ana!” Ajeng began to raise his voice
“If you don't like the same he says he doesn't like it, if you like don't like it, pity Dimas hungin continue with you!” what Ana said made me angry
“Kayak Kak Ana the most real, it's guys who like to shuttle Kak Ana also no one received right? Not that easy, I like guys!” answer me with emotion
“Already! how come you guys fight anyway?” Ajeng tried to stop the debate between me and Ana's sister
“Ah I have left first sister, Ajeng sister take care of it beloved sister Kakar” said Kak Ana before leaving the room
I did not mean to be rude to Sister Ana but at that time I did not want to be blamed and my emotions were still unstable. If I look from my current point of view I actually feel that what Kak Ana said back then has a point. I mean Dimas wasn't entirely wrong, it was my attitude that wasn't fair to Dimas. She likes me, everyone but me is aware of that. That night he had also expressed his feelings, only that I who was kasmaran with Abas could not catch a message from Dimas instead interpret it another. It is not wrong Dimas if he considers me to reciprocate his feelings because it is my attitude that seems to accept him. I never said I liked Abas, not Dimas.
“Eka, do you know your attitude is wrong?” ask Ajeng reminded
“Sorry Kak” answered me limp
“Later you apologize to Ana and try to read a letter from Dimas” kak Ajeng giving a letter from Dimas
To my angry girlfriend, though,
Together with this I who signed below intend to love you forever, I will endure even though you are fierce for ever.
Full Name: Dimas Nuzulazmi of Krasiva Eka Putri
Place of Birth Date: Earth, five months before his mate was born
Residence Address: Contract in the Heart of Krasiva Eka Putri
Thus this letter was made to be used as an antidote longing for me in Jakarta
TTD
Dimas Nuzulazmi
-*-*_*-*-
An Indonesian Raya song accompanied the Red and White Flag to the top of the flagpole. The pupils lined up neatly with white gray seregam complete with ties and hats. That morning the sky looked bright in contrast to my overcast mood. The cloud grew thicker in my heart when after the ceremony my friends discussed the incident in retirement.
“Ka sorry yes yesterday who was in retirement because of us, you became angry,” Ayu started the conversation by apologizing to me, he said, actually I'm not angry with them but I can't explain what really happened.
“Iya Ka, sorry we don't mean to make you embarrassed, we're just glad you finally officially soan ” Aura also apologized
“You want to keep your relationship a secret huh Ka?” Tanya Ayu wanted to know
“Ayu!” Diah stopped Ayu's talking
“I'm not angry, but please don't talk about it again,” I replied in a hopeful tone.
I feel like I'm really bad, I mean ever since I got mad at everybody. I keep creating problems with the people around me, I don't like that kind of me. I think Sister Ana was right I had to make things clear, and then I decided to settle my affairs with Abas. After school I waited for Abas at the school gate.
“Abas!” my sap stopped Abas's footsteps
“Dimas permission not to enter school” replied Abas instantly
“I'm waiting for you not Dimas, there's something I want to talk about” replied I don't want a stale base
“Take a meal, you still have my same lunch debt right?”
I felt like there was something strange about Abas' reaction, I mean I thought he was going to be angry or cold to me like that time, but it turned out that Abas looked fine. We went to the city park to buy lunch while talking.
“Tadi say what?” ask Abas
“Hhmm the problem in the pension,” I replied doubtfully
“That you made the same Dimas?” abas understood my heart
“Iya,” I replied slowly
“Eka, you don't need to explain anything to me,”
“But all of it is misunderstood!” shanky
“But you guys made it right?” I just nodded weakly as if my tongue was muffled at that moment.
We were silent for quite a while, there were a lot of things I wanted to explain but somehow it felt so hard to get out of my mouth.
“Eka, the last time I said I believe you're right but I don't want you to misunderstand, it's not my intention to want to be with you, I don't want to fight with Dimas because of the woman,”
“Sorry,” I'm bowed limp not knowing what to say
“I am happy if that person is Dimas, he is a good man and very dear to you, I know exactly Dimas will keep you better than anyone,”
The cloud that had enveloped my heart had now turned into a storm, a violent storm. My tears were rushing unstoppably with my mouth tightly locked. Abas gave me a handkerchief. I didn't want to look like this in front of Abas but I couldn't control myself.
Abas let out a long sigh, I saw him looking so tangled. At that time I was young and I had not even menstruated. Maybe I'm not ready for that kind of romance. I understand that Abas is wrong but I don't want to understand and just want to be with Abas.
“Yesterday Dimas searched for you until he barely missed the train, before leaving he told me to take care of you during his time in Jakarta, You know what it means?” I just bowed silently then Abas answered his own question “He trusted me a lot and I don't want to ruin that trust,”
“Terusah, but I don't want this misunderstanding to continue,” I replied in a slightly vibrating voice
The meeting that day changed nothing. From the beginning Abas knew it was a misunderstanding but he didn't want to stop it. Maybe I'm selfish, I don't want to think about how the friendship between Abas and Dimas will be if I tell Dimas the truth, but I feel this misunderstanding must be stopped so as not to get wider.
