Pursuing My Love of Hands

POVS. Asmara Arsytanty's

After I saw the arrival of Mas Byan back then, my heart ached so much. Especially when I found out that Mas Byan's family was the cause of my family's destruction, even though I haven't fully dug up that information.

It could be that Mas Byan came to the house and said casually if he was looking for me. The distance he traveled was not close, but he had to travel a long journey of up to hundreds of kilo meters.

I don't understand Mas Byan's way of thinking, if I were him I wouldn't be able to act like this and spend a lot of money and effort. Very detrimental to me.

From the beginning of his unknown arrival, he had already argued with Steven. Even the debate between the two of them made my head even more painful and throbbing.

Maybe Mas Byan was tired, because I didn't do the questioning either. Until he kept getting close to me just to get an answer out of my own mouth.

"Mara, tell me what's really going on?" Byan still doesn't want to give up. He pushed Steven back and came closer to me. However, I remained silent and did not say anything. Even my eyes did not dare to look at him.

"Ck!" Steven clucked in annoyance. He pulled Mas Byan's body back away from me.

"Mara, speak," asked Byan. Even the plea that sounded from his mouth made me go awry. Even this situation seemed to trap me into torturing others.

"Based on a selfless man, it's hurt Mara and her family but you still dare to approach him!"

Bugh!!

After cursing Mas Byan, Steven hit him. I really didn't want this to happen, Steven acted outside his bounds.

When Steven hit Mas Byan hard in the face, my heart felt even more devastated. How not? I can't defend him at all. Even my mouth felt a little silly just to say 'don't' Steven to stop the banging.

Worse yet, Mas Byan did not return a blow from Steven. It made my heart grow sicker, guilty, but unable to do anything about it.

I looked at that lethargic and pale face, it turned out that the corner of Mas Byan's lips had also been spitting out fresh blood. I wanted to scream as hard as I could, but it only happened in my heart. I didn't have the courage to approach her again after I left her yesterday without saying goodbye, for no apparent reason.

I am ashamed, but I am also heartbroken by the destruction of my family for decades due to the actions of the Mas Byan family. Not to mention that I was thinking about Mom, her feelings must now be getting ruined. Even Mother is the most devastated here.

A small dispute ensued, Steven lured me to explain all the possible causes that Mas Byan did not know about. Either he pretended not to know or he did not know this. I was still confused and shocked at everything that happened to my life. Until I heard Mas Byan say something with his hoarse voice.

"Mara, I'll find out the real thing. But really, I don't know what scandal you're referring to," Mas Byan's breathing was so heavy. Even his voice seemed to be held in his throat and barely audible.

"If this has anything to do with my family, then I'll take responsibility, Mara,"

It sounded heavy, even I was no longer able to support my body to stay standing. After Mas Byan came out at a fast pace, I don't know where he was going.

My body collapsed on the floor. The tears that I had shed, now finally spilled. Really, pretending to be tough, pretending to be strong, it is indeed very difficult. I do this in front of people I love.

"Mara," Steven came up to me, he helped me stand up from the floor where my body had fallen limp and helpless. He led me slowly to the living room sofa.

Either this remark is a tranquilizer from Steven, which obviously all has a point. If I don't say this to Mas Byan immediately, maybe the matter won't be resolved.

I'm just resigned, what will happen in the future. Even so, I won't be able to hate Mas Byan's family. But Mom and Randy are the reason I'm worried about right now.

"Mara, don't think too much about it," Steven again tried to calm me down. His words sounded softly while gently rubbing my shoulders. I didn't like any kind of touch by Steven, so I dodged his hand from landing on my shoulder.

"Steve, can you leave me alone?"

I asked Steven to leave my house. Because I do need some time to be alone and calm down this messed up mind of mine. Steve's presence bothers me too. Especially when she remembers her treatment of me when she took me to Jeju Island, in Seoul.

But the main thing at the moment is not Steven's problem. I tried to forgive all his silly actions. I will also forget and assume if nothing ever happens. But because of that incident I wanted to keep my distance from Steven and not want to be more familiar.

"Mara, I ..."

"Steve, leave me alone!" My words firmly cut out Steven's words that have not been finished.

Really, I really hope Steve doesn't bother me anymore. I need peace at the moment, without a single disturbance.

"Alright, but I'll be back again" Steve got up from his seat. He looked at me, and looked at my face. I feel weird about Steven's actions this time.

Steven raised his hand until he touched my face that was still wet from tears. He tried to move his hand, probably wiping away the rest of the tears. However, I immediately shook his hand. Steven's touch made me feel uncomfortable. I really don't like that action.

"You don't have to come back" didn't want to say much, so I finally got up from my seat and asked him to leave.

I could see the disappointment that came out of Steven's face. He may want to be angry with me, or he may be so disappointed in my actions. But never mind, I don't want to think too much about how she feels right now. I just want no one to bother me, because again I just want to be calm right now.

"You're evil, Mara,"

Aren't the words Steven made serious? It even sounded sadistic, as if I was a criminal. He said I was bad. Even those words were accompanied by a blushing facial look a sign of how angry he was right now.

"I'm evil, even more so than you think, Steven."

Maybe my answer could make Steven realize, if I was a really bad woman. This will make Steven no longer bother me, hopefully.

Steven let out a long sigh, he chose to leave me and headed out.

After Steven left, I immediately closed the door of the house and locked it. I put my feet into the room and broke my tired body.