Missing the Love of Husband

Change Mas Dery

“Mas.. Why just come home? Kids nyariin you keep fitting dinner last night, you overtime why not say the same to me?” I walked after my husband, to the room, already since 6 months ago Mas Dery's attitude changed to me as well as to the children.

I often ask, if there is my attitude that makes her feel uncomfortable or careless, but mas Dery always says no, just busy at the office that sometimes makes her feel tired after arriving home.

I nodded in understanding, not wanting to trace why until he changed to me, his attitude was cold and indifferent.. Even he was being indifferent to our twin sons Rafa and Rafi.

I'm married to Dery's 15 years old, the kids are going to junior high school next year, they're teenagers.. Sometimes I think.. Is it because the age of my marriage that has long made the passion between us fade?

honestly, I miss her affection, miss her warm embrace, am I wrong?

“Mas there was overtime earlier, forgot to tell you! The battery section is also lowbet.” his answer is short, even to just turn and look at me he was reluctant.

Mas Dery went into the bathroom, after I prepared warm water for him, at first glance I saw my husband's cell phone lying on the nightstand, I took it intending to charge his cell phone, but when I connected the usb to the outlet, I was surprised to see the battery was still 50 percent, I took a deep breath.. And throw it away slowly.

I tried to set the rhythm of my heart beating violently, all the bad prejudices dancing in my mind at this moment.

I stood up and sat down at the dresser, looking at my face.. Am I no longer attractive to your eyes, Mas? do I look old in your eyes?

Indeed I started hijab since the last 3 years, the response was very positive mas Dery, he even praised my appearance which has begun to close the aura even though it is not perfect.

“MasyaAllah this is his wife? Beautiful once dear?” that's the compliment he made to me..

But now... It all tastes like a vegetable without salt..

Household life is monotonous, what it is that makes it saturated.

Mas Dery came out of the bathroom already changing his clothes, he was like looking around for his cell phone.

“Search what mas?” ask me.

“Where are mobile phones? That feeling is here!” he answered while pointing at the nightstand beside the bed.

“Udah I charge, tuh!” 

“Ohh,” he immediately approached his phone, without guilt he sat on the bed by playing his phone.

“His phone word is lowbet mas, it's still there's 50 percent more,”

“Iya was charged there,” makes sense too he said, I still think positively to him. I don't mind anymore the feeling of being upset and mixed up about him earlier.

I tried to draping my body on Mas Dery, even for 6 months he hasn't touched me,

“Lin, you are doing mepet-mepet gini, mas tired loh!” he said cuek, he even took a roll and put it between the two of us.

I snorted in annoyance, but as much as possible I had to remain patient.

I was surprised when the morning prayer rumbled, right last night I fell asleep, even mas Dery did not approach me at all.. O Allah.. It was so sad to be ignored by my husband.

Again I set my breath while beristighfar calm a very sore heart, I get out of bed and move to the bathroom to bathe and ablution, it has become a habit when getting out of bed I will take a shower first, then start all activities.

After putting on the face, I woke up Dery, but he just squirmed a little, I know for sure he won't pray anymore. I rushed to my children's room..Lucky when I was there they were ready with their skullcap and their cocoa clothes.

“MasyaAllah children ummi is ready?”

“Udah dong Mi, this is Rafi who is a bit difficult to build, if Rafa mah always grind!” answer my first child. They are identical twins, Alhamdulillah me and Mas Dery are blessed with twins who are very handsome and beautiful. Rafa Dirgantara and Rafi Dirgantara.

“Kak Rafa julid is really good! Despite the weight of the step, but Rafi always sidet sis.. Let alone us boys!”

I felt touched by the words of my son, Thank God I once again said.

Due to the direction and upbringing, we managed to bring them up until now.

“Ayyuuk we pray, will be hunted out at dawn.”

“Where are we? No more subuhan huh?” ask Rafi,

“Abi later pray by himself, last night did Abi come home tonight, maybe Abi is still tired, already ayuk, Rafa became a priest huh?” I said to them.

Look, my children are so wise, why now you seem so far away from us.. And you are in front of us.

The morning prayers are over, the children are back in their rooms and ready for school.

I myself am busy preparing breakfast, after all I finished my room to wake up my husband.

It turned out that Dery was awake, sounding gurgling water in the bathroom.

I prepared the shirt and suit that Dery would wear. Not to forget I also prepared a tie, socks and handkerchief.

I'm also getting ready to go to work, I have a pretty big boutique here, it's been there since I haven't been married to Dery, and Dery herself, he is the director of finance at Mr Corp company, our life is very fulfilled, I feel my household is very harmonious before the last 6 months.

“Lin, later the mas kayak overtime again.. You and the kids don't wait, just have dinner!” said Mas Dery while combing his hair.

“Out again mas?”I turned to Dery, hoping he would pay attention to me, just a little.. But the result remains the same, he doesn't think I'm in this house.

I try to take a slow breath, and exhale slowly as well. I've heard, if the wife who approached and tried first to attract the attention of the husband is fine. I hugged Dery from behind, I buried my face in the chest of his field, it felt like I had long since missed a time like this.

“Mas.. Why have you been so busy lately? You don't even have time for me and the kids,” I whispered slowly to her, I spoiled my voice, tried to seduce her..

Back then, when I was like this, surely Mas Dery would instantly reply to him, but now.. He brushed me off..