Marriage to the Destroyer of my Dreams

Episode 28 Trauma

In a Counseling Room for Psychological Doctors located at the famous Hospital in Bandung, a woman was consulting with Psychologists about the trauma she experienced after the rape that hit her a few months ago. This type of trauma is known as Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS). Where the trauma experienced by people with RTS can be physical, emotional, cognitive, behavioral and personal characteristics.

A happy life of a Jillian is instantly changed due to an event she had very little expected. Jillian has been traumatized ever since, what she lives every day is no longer the same.

Although he first consulted directly with Doctor Janika who is also his aunt, the younger sister of Mama Jovita. But Jillian has been telling me in detail about what she's been going through, since a month ago.

"Jillian, you better be honest and tell this to your Papa and Mama, including your husband. The trauma you experience will be cured faster, if you have the support of your family. Jeffran can also know what can and should not be done to you. So that your trauma can be cured soon." Jillian shook her head, disapproving of her tant proposal.

"No Aunt. I don't want to burden Papa and Mama with this. And as for Jeffran, I feel like I need to stay away from him, so that my trauma doesn't get worse."

Aunt Janika is concerned for her beloved niece. It was never imagined, if Jillian would experience a bad event that caused severe trauma.

Since that incident, Jillian has often had nightmares about her rape. In addition, dealing with Jeffran, like facing an enemy that can attack at any time. Jillian will feel hate, fear and worry at the same time. Especially if Jeffran touched it, Jillian must have immediately experienced a panic attack with cold sweat pouring down. Although Jillian always covered it up with as much restraint as possible or was angry and rude towards Jeffran.

The trauma also always appears whenever Jillian sees a place or items that remind her of the incident on the night of the curse. While leaving and returning from campus, Jillian never again passed the place where she was forcibly pulled by Jeffran. Jillian also never wanted to enter Jeffran's black sports car, which witnessed the loss of the honor she always guarded.

While the dress and sweater that Jillian wore that night, she immediately threw away the day after the incident. Because her tears always could not bear when she saw those two items. Moreover, the two items were given by Jordan, to make Jillian feel traumatized and feel guilty for Jordan.

Not only that, Jillian often felt disgusted when she saw herself from the mirror reflection. He felt dirty, because he was stained by a man he did not love. Not even infrequently Jillian hates the child she contains. He also blames Jeffran and himself for Jordan's death.

"Jillian, so what are your plans now?"

"I was going to France and live with Aunt Joana's family. But Aunt Joana refused when I asked her to keep my whereabouts to Mama, Papa and Jeffran. So I canceled my planned departure there, because Auntie definitely failed." Jillian put on a look of disappointment.

"Joana's attitude isn't Jill's fault. If he keeps your whereabouts a secret from Papa, Mama and your husband, it's no good. They're gonna worry Jill a lot." Jillian was speechless in response to Aunt Janika's remark. But in my heart also allow the words of the Tantenya.

"If I wanted to live with Auntie in Bandung, would Auntie also tell Papa, Mama and Jeffran?" Ask Jilian.

"Sorry Jillian.. But Auntie thought it would be better if your Papa and Mama knew how you were doing. If you don't feel ready to see Jeffran again, you can explain your situation over the phone so Jeffran understands." Again Jillian flinched, considering what decision she would take after this.

"Now you rest at Aunt's house. Auntie will tell your mama that you're in Bandung."

"No need for aunty. I want to take a walk before I go back to Jakarta. Thank you, Auntie, for helping Jill a lot."

"Jill Together. You must be strong, so that your trauma can be healed immediately. Whenever you need help, just say yes. Don't forget to take the medicine that Auntie gave you.."

Jillian hugs Aunt Janika before saying goodbye. Aunt Janika looked at her niece who stepped out of her room.

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For more than 3 hours, Jeffran searched for Jillian's whereabouts at the place where Jillian used to go. But his efforts have not yet yielded results. Jeffran initially thought Jillian left with Ethan's help as had happened before, but Ethan was on campus. Seemed busy taking care of the seminar, where he was the Chairman of the Committee of the activity.

By lunchtime, Jeffran's stomach was starving. But Jeffran chose to ignore his hunger, not wanting to waste time in order to quickly find Jillian.

Drrt.. Drrt.. Drrt..

Jeffran raised an incoming call from the Chief of Guards who was looking for Jillian's whereabouts with his men.

"Have you found out my wife's whereabouts?" Ask Jeffran without a stale base.

"Based on CCTV monitoring, your wife was last seen at the bus terminal. Your wife then boarded the bus majors Bandung Boss."

"Well, Bandung?"

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Jillian stared at the ceiling of the hotel room, with her body lying on the bed. After some time of thinking, Jillian finally decided to rent a hotel room for one night. He felt the need to calm down before returning to Jakarta tomorrow.

Jillian's thoughts were fixed on what happened last night, when she and Jeffran were in the same room. It was still clearly recorded every word that came out of Jeffran's mouth, when he thought Jillian was sound asleep, so it was impossible to hear anything Jeffran said. Jillian pretends to be asleep, hiding the awkwardness of being in the same room.

"Jill, I know my sin is too great for you to forgive. I'm too ignorant of myself to force you to forgive me in such a short time. But please never doubt my love for you.. I really love you Jill. I love the child you bear."

After hearing Jeffran's heart, Jillian's heart rippled. There was a feeling that instantly made Jillian feel very comfortable. But just as Jeffran started kissing his forehead and lips after hugging her, suddenly Jillian's body was sweating so much. This always happens to Jillian, whenever Jeffran does the same thing. But Jillian always held herself back with all her might, so as not to overreact in front of Jeffran.

Scenes of bad events a few months ago, began to appear one by one. Jillian was afraid that Jeffran would do something more than what he had done before. Fortunately, Jillian's fear did not come true. Happiness actually occurred in Jillian's heart, when Jeffran again expressed his feelings so deeply, even though it sounded very soft.

"I love you.. And will always love you, forever."

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