Jealous of Being Autumnous
Chapter 36's
"Why, Ra?" Someone was holding my shoulder tight.
"Huh, mother!?" I opened my eyes and hugged him tightly.
"Why?" Ask mother wonder.
"I thought it was a ghost." I snickered a little when I said it.
"Yes, is your mother like a ghost kinda you? Um..."
"No bun, just kidding. Just kidding!"
It was quiet and too late at night. But this time for a moment. And the conversation started again by my mother.
"Where did you sleep? Did you see Rahul's sister sleeping in your bed?"
"I was in the kitchen. And immediately fell asleep, yes midnight gini woke up finally praying tahajud. And for me it's better bun,"
"Goddessa. Mother's child," Mother also kissed my tubers.
The real morning. Yes, every day like this, the air is cool and beautiful. But, if I said I could reach it further. Then for the time being I will be able to repeat the delayed hope, so that I can try again.
With a definite step I went to school without feeling any bitterness later. Yes, now I have to finish with the best value, hopefully will get blessing and can be postponed about the news of his marriage. Existing forms with the word hope are still sitting, but nil seems. I'm aware of everything that I won't get this. And this time I'm really ready and thank you for making me more beautiful now.
The slur still covers. And someone covered my ears with his hands. I also looked back. Yes, he was the one who made my life calm again, even God understood that I wanted friends as a place to confide. But it won't be possible this time. That's for sure!
"Ra, forget all those junk mouths. Now it's not just you being reviled. Rahul's brother over there seems to be like that too, right?"
"Hmmm..." My tears just started to flow.
"Already! I can't see a woman crying. Don't cry!" He wiped away the tears on my cheek. I nodded slowly too.
🍁🍁🍁
The month of the UN exam came in. Now I can't help it. Does this end in pain? The closer to the end, the more my heart fell deeply. However, now Dwi no longer looks attentive, even I was not considered a friend anymore presumably. I'm so tired of all this. And Taehyung himself did not go to school anymore, because he better focus on his career first. Now, I am alone and still thinking ahead how.
The early tomorrow makes me even more nervous. Yes, UN starts tomorrow. All students/schoolers are busy with their private lessons. I'm the one who keeps learning by myself, at least with Rahul's brother. Yes, Brother Rahul I consider the teacher who is most patient with me. Sometimes I just piss him off. And this time he's always the general champion, and I'll look up to him who can use both his left and right brain.
Tonight we will learn more, including him who has been said by the ambassador. My mind is not just for the UN. I need to think more about the future. This is what sometimes makes me cry for myself, and not be able to control myself. This is indeed the fate of a Zahra, a young girl full of ideals, but must be disposed of with the plans of parents to marry him to someone.
I want this longer for the next 3 days. But time says something else. We are now going through the last time. It's only natural that I'm not expecting it later. After the next 3 days, I don't know what I'm thinking back to. And maybe I'm not very confident later.
With a short time, the UN was finally over. A very tragic regret. Yes, now the value has been told. Quite satisfactory value. And what makes me even more ungodly? That is, their chatter about the best college. I was there only to see with a sour face and full of inner busyness. Which makes my ears hot.
"Ra, studying domestically or abroad?" Ask one of my friends.
"Hm... No knowing!" I denied it, and left the place.
Crying about something makes me emotional now. What used to be talkative and attentive I now show the anger of a woman who was hurt by endless statements making the heart very restless. Yes, I've resigned but the heart acts another. And what if I'm reckless. Nauzubillahimin!
Something new. Now come in on the saddest day for us. Yep! A long-awaited farewell. The cry that really made the atmosphere very moved like a survivor of this natural disaster, filled with memories that have been implied. Now the documentary of the struggle for 3 years was released for the first time. Make the sobs warmer.
The dwi? Where's she? I didn't see him from earlier. Do you want to enjoy this moment? But why with him? There's not a single word about it this week. This time I have to find him. Come home from here I'll go to his house and find out for sure. And not long ago I set an intention,
"A lot of people say that,"
"If he comes back. I'll approach him immediately. Where do you know the soul mate, and get a little knowledge that," I also immediately put on a sour face, and away from the place.
He is one of those people who believes he will get it. Yeah, I like him. And we have made London a place to be together for a career. However, my hope was already very much wiped out. Now there is dust that says it. From here I will always pray that he will be fine and get the best later. Amens...
🍁🍁🍁
The marriage is 2 years old. Now I'm still in semester 4 and the same as Rahul's brother. Nausea, even I can't help it anymore. Is this why last night ate too much jackfruit? I don't get it. And the eyes of Rahul's brother are getting sparkling. Yes, he just took me, exactly to the hospital.
So, from the examination makes this heart beat very violently. Yes, I'm pregnant! Brother Rahul by saying hamdallah immediately prostrate his gratitude. I was also moved to hear it. Now I'm getting more excited if this is his destiny. It is full of hamdallah. I put it with a feeling of gratitude to him. Now we will be a mother and a father.
Towards his birth, Rahul's brother also gave the intake of relegius, so that the baby can become Hafiz in the future. Looking at the blue sky straight Rahul's brother was berartil reading Surah Yusuf, and with a melodious voice it was like the sky knew that this child was happy to hear it too. In other words, the whole thing will change what I used to think was bad about having children. But this time I thought long. If the child is not between a wife and husband, then now it is natural in the family not to enjoy the beauty of family.
And no need to wait a long time. It was time to look at the beautiful world. The whole universe. Even I understand now, how happy you are to see me for the first time to come to the world. Now is a good start for me. Yes, I forget all that says I really failed, unable to continue the ideals. Apparently, this is the best pleasure. This is the silver lining, this cute little baby. I will always be grateful for this blessing.
4 Years passed
Now Rahul was working quite satisfactorily, and this time I was able to advance to the country I expected when with Dwi at that time. London! This time I will find him, but if God wills him to meet there.
Enjoying the country that I wanted since I was in High School. When I want to continue my studies here. And I never forget a man I've called a name every day. Even Rahul's own brother has known that this heart is only for Dwi. However, with his patience, he finally persevered. I can't forget the person who has entered for the first time. But, whatever the power, I must keep throwing it away and put this heart just for a husband.
Nah! Whither? My boy. I've been daydreaming this time. And the surroundings I've been looking for remain gone. I've forgotten about it. Yes, God please help the servant. Rahul's brother who came to bring food. He sat down, unable to even quote anything. Now where to look, it's all my fault! Crying that won't solve the current problem.
I went back looking, as did Rahul's own brother. Suddenly someone pulled my shirt.
"Oh God! Where have you been, honey?" I hugged him tightly too.
"Sorry, he was alone. He said your parents, "He looked at me.
"Well, Zahra?!"
"Dwi?!" I was shocked too. This dream?
🍁🍁🍁
"Ra, is this your child?"
"Hm..." I also nodded.
"Ti's... Didn't invite me?!" I, too, without warning, wanted to leave the place just like that. However, my hand was pulled by him.
"Ra, I'm actually being honest. Yes, I have harbored this feeling for a very long time. And I'm actually a jealous person. If I stay strong with all of this, maybe we'll be able to make a match. That's what I've always been pessimistic about."
"LT..." My eyes are even more teary.
"Ra, I'm sober now. Yes, because of this excessive jealousy I fell for you. I'm sorry, if all this time I couldn't trust you if you loved me. I love you too." He also left the place.
At that time, the pain remains more and more painful. Indeed, if he had declared it the day before. I will fight for my love. Yeah, I've been so devastated about her cold self. And yes, I am also jealous. Yes, jealousy for the fall is very painful. This pain will not go away, and but yes I will close it and plant it deeply again. This is the beginning of life, I will be the best wife and mother from this moment on. Amens...
THE END
