I'm Without The Womb

Obscuration

Ralin and Yaris are now on their way to Ralin's parents' first home in the Seganteng area. That's where the wedding will be held. In the car Ralin did not talk much, as well as when eating at the restaurant earlier. His attitude changed slightly after talking to the doctor he had met some time ago. Yaris himself felt a little worried about the change in Ralin's attitude.

"Are you sure you don't want a story now?"

Ralin nodded in response to Yaris' question. "Later after we get to the hotel, I tell you everything, now we go to Seganteng's house first. Look at the preparations for tomorrow," Ralin continued in a lethargic voice.

Yaris just obeyed his wife's request, he couldn't possibly forcefully look at the unusual face of Ralin.

Throughout the journey Ralin did not say much, even if asked he only gave a short answer, his tone also changed to be lower and not excited, instead of angry at the husband, he said, but his mood changed after talking to doctor Lian earlier. Now she knew for sure that her womb being removed was not purely the fault of Mr. Sa'id, her father-in-law. Ralin feels bad if Yaris marries her because she feels responsible for her situation. His mind was very upset.

Yaris patiently faced the labile attitude of Ralin. He would wait for when Ralin was ready to tell about the matter that plagued his mind. Actually he was guessing, maybe Rey's words used to be true that the doctor who did the action on Ralin also made a mistake. Maybe that's what they were talking about. But Yaris did not want Ralin to know that he had long known the problem of this practice.

While at the house of his father-in-law, Ralin was still the same, more silent, just looking at the people who worked to prepare the celebration of his Father. At its peak, Ralin now shut himself in the room.

***

"I take a shower, and then we talk."

Arriving at the hotel, Ralin will explain everything to Yaris, including a bad feeling if Yaris wants to marry him just because he feels he has to take responsibility for his situation. But he wanted to prepare himself first, take a bath, how would Yaris react if he knew this truth. There was a fear that Yaris would leave him because of this matter.

Ralin came out of the bathroom, his face looked fresher, maybe his feelings were also a little calmer after getting a splash of water as therapy.

"Here you go, sit next to me!" Yaris, who had been waiting for Ralin to finish the ritual bath, asked his wife to sit next to him on the bed. Still wearing a kimono towel and coiled hair, Ralin followed her husband's invitation. They sat next to each other, resting their bodies on the edge of the bed. "Now what stories really bother your mind!"

Ralin took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. Ralin gathered courage and began to open his voice.

"So I asked Dr. Lian about what happened three years ago, when I was in the process of action..."

Ralin told Yaris everything in detail, she did not want to hide anything from her husband. Honesty is better than anything on this earth. "So, this isn't purely papa's fault. Did you marry me for this, for feeling responsible for my circumstances?" close Ralin with the corner of the eye that is already watery.

Yaris changed his sitting position so that he faced Ralin and grabbed his hand. He will also be forthright about what he has been doing all along.

"From the beginning I told you, I married you out of love, not out of sympathy or coercion. If only I felt responsible, I could give you one suitcase, or buy you luxury goods. I also already know about the practice maal you're going through."

Ralin was surprised, his eyes finally looked at Yaris after he had hidden from earlier. " Why can? how do you know?"

"At first Reyhan, he who felt suspicious about your condition, he also found out about your medical record at my request, so I know why you were afraid of surgery, he said, you who don't want to have any relationship with men, you lose your uterus, and I know you'll be operated on that day from Reyhan, too, that's why that day I can come and shoot you." explained Yaris.

"So you've been loving me all this time?" ralin's tone has returned to normal and of course crumb if you want to get angry.

"Don't love darling, just find out."

"Just like, but you're not telling the story?" now Ralin began to violently strike Yaris on the shoulder.

"Geez, if I tell you that you ran away and dodged, disappeared and went away, lost my life, then I alone broke my heart to kill myself, where I want to be like that."

"Gombal."

"Seriously, time is said to be dreadful."

"Everything you know about me?"

"A lot of it, but it wasn't intentionally when you were chatting with Mega, the night before the operation."

"So you're nagging?" again Ralin hit the shoulder of her husband who may now have been flushed behind the shirt.

"Not nagging, aaaakh sick dear." Ralin stopped his action "I timed it right just as you were talking about it, I happened to pass by."

"Ga fair know ga?"

"What's fair?"

"You know all about me, and I know nothing about you."

"Next you will know everything about me, you just wait for the time and enjoy the process, now all you need to know, I love you unconditionally, understand?"

The atmosphere turned intimate, making Ralin's blood rustle irregularly, his heart was like a matahon, and he started to get nervous. He was afraid of Yaris asking for rations while he still felt pain in the part ....

"Do you have Lian ga's doctor's phone number?" yaris's question is getting weird.

"What's wrong, what's up?"

"I want to say thank you for making a mistake, if we don't meet," said Yaris tengil accompanied by his trademark smile.

Yaris' answer made Ralin growled again but at once blushed.

"What a hell, ngaco deh."

"Eits, stop the kdrt." Yaris dodged the blow of Ralin that would land on his shoulder again, "now you rest, I give you two hours, that brat we start, this time until morning." Yaris' voice teased.

"Ga wants to."

"Refuse me, sin."

"Belgroff."

"You slept with that towel, let me make it easy."

"Yariiiiis, it's getting perverted now."

"Try you the story from earlier, so the mood is not broken, frowning continues to be the same Mamak same father as the people of the house, must have thought I was doing you, I didn't feel good knowing it wasn't the same house person."

"Sorry."

Yaris clutched his body from behind and his wife looked increasingly smaller in his arms. They ended up lying down with Ralin turning his back on Yaris.

"You just need to understand, understand me, love me, and stay by my side no matter what. I'm not gonna ask you what you can't give me. There are millions of couples who are not given offspring but they are happy, they stay together until the end, until death separates. I want it that way."

Yaris turned his wife's body and Ralin buried his face in Yaris' arms, his tears coming out without him asking to hear Yaris' words. She did not expect her husband to think that simple.

"The source of happiness is not only from the descendants, we will find our own happiness, and that happiness is what we decide." Ralin just nodded in her husband's arms.

"Remember in two hours!" Yaris is back.

This time Ralin just smiled and chuckled, without saying a single word. He just tightened his arms, feeling the comfort and warmth of the body of the man who loved him so much.

"I love you, Ralin."

Ralin heard and felt Yaris kiss the tip of his head, but consciousness had left the body. The sound of Yaris is like a magnet that pulls him to sleep. Now he has met the dream world.

***

And sure enough, before the dawn of the morning reverberate, exactly at 3 am, Yaris woke up his wife, asking Ralin to give her due. He freely opened the kimono towel that wrapped Ralin's body. If it had been this way Ralin could not refuse, fearing sin.

***

The day began to brighten, Ralin had been getting ready to immediately head for his parents' house. Actually Mamak Ralin had offered them a stay so as not to reach back and forth the hotel, but it was Rinallah who refused on the grounds of the newlyweds, did not want to be disturbed.

"Later after the event the master wear koko clothes yes, the sore fit female guests wear a shirt, I've been siepin."

"Okay, are you ready to wear what clothes?

"Ga knows, but Mamak's already siepin there."

"How many shows are there, baby?"

"Totally three events, today two events, the same tomorrow for outside guests. You wanted a reception, too, but I said you didn't."

"Why?"

"Boros according to me, this is already excited, you have not seen what the roah tradition in the village will be. I even want the orphan girl if I can."

"It is a sunnah, and the meskibga is also forced."

"Yes, I understand."

Exactly eleven o'clock during the roah tuan kiai event begins. Yaris saw a lot of guests present, all male guests, consisting of scholars, kiai, religious figures, youth and the surrounding community seemed to gather together as one in the house of Ralin. All the rooms were full, even Ralin's parents borrowed the room of his neighbor's house to accommodate the guests. The courtyard of Ralin's house was also transformed into a lesehan seat for the guests with tarpaulin and carpet. Yaris followed her in-laws to greet the guests who were still arriving.

After the dhikr and do'a together, the guests were served lunch using a large round container made of thin iron that Sasak people called it a tray. On it is served rice complete with dishes containing side dishes. The youths there paced around serving it to the older guests first. One tray is served to three people, called tradition begibung or eat together. Yaris felt astonished, as he usually saw the guest taking his own food at the buffet table, now he was witnessing a still very traditional way. Family feeling is still very strong. Hustle and bustle occurred between the invited guests, the host who had a wish, and the beggar, the young man who hosted the banquet.

After the guests had finished their lunch, they were quick to leave. Back Yaris and his in-laws took off the guests by shaking hands in the middle of the gate. His hands were almost cramping one by one the guests were saying goodbye. Ralin only saw from a distance the behavior of her husband who was quite flexible to hang out with the guests.

All the guests were now saying goodbye, Ralin immediately approached Yaris who looked exhausted, "how? have you seen the scene?"

Yaris simply nodded while taking a deep breath and exhaling. "Eat first yuk!" Ralin dragged her husband into the house for lunch together.

"This what?" Yaris asked one side dish that was still very foreign to him.

"That's the name ares, made from a banana stem taken in the middle of it, which is if already know the name of the vegetable, only given coconut milk seasoning, aja, similar to that salad but this vegetable boiled for a while," explained Ralin.

Yaris just ooh ria heard it. Rakin also explains other vegetables that seem foreign to Yaris. He shuddered in horror to find out that there was a young jackfruit vegetable, but after tasting the taste, Yaris' perception changed.

They ate lunch with gourmand. Unlike usual eating in a chair, this time they made it on the floor, lesehan and did not makai spoon but use their hands. According to Yaris it feels more delicious. This is Yaris' first experience.

"This is all who's cooking?" tanya Yaris ended her meal by washing her hands in a bowl filled with water.

"Mamak, assisted by family and people around the house. Female guests will come at 4, you rest first in the room! I'll help the others wash the dishes."

Yaris obeyed the instructions from Ralin, he headed for Ralin's room to relax for a moment.

***

At 4 pm Yaris and Ralin were ready to welcome the guests who were coming. They look beautiful and handsome. Yaris wore a shirt that his wife had prepared while Ralin wore a shirt made of chiffon and silk batik. Minimalist makeup was chosen by Ralin to enhance its appearance.

Slightly different from the guest kiai, this time who came was a female guest, consisting of mothers around the house of Ralin and also acquaintances of their parents from the next village. The female guests came with their hands. Some bring rice, sugar, fruits, cakes, neatly wrapped gifts that are likely to contain sheets or towels. Anyway, the usual gift received by the newlyweds is yes. If the guest kiai perform a do'a together first, the female guest is immediately served a dish similar to the dish given to the guest kiai, only the difference is there is an additional side dish, namely meatballs, the rest is the same.

There was no buffet table, all guests sat on the floor with mats and carpets. All seemed familiar, greeting each other chattering, joking, very harmonious and familiar. Not infrequently the guests called Yaris and Ralin sat together to just ask, even though Ralin was sometimes busy introducing Yaris to the guests. Yaris just smiled hearing the guests who sometimes tease, he even more do not understand because Ralin uses his mother tongue chatting with guests, namely Sasak language.

The show ends at 6pm. What a tiring day for Yaris and Ralin.

"It's not over yet, baby."

Ralin said to Yaris who was lying on the bed, making Yaris gasp. "Tomorrow there are still outside guests."

"Gosh my god."