I'm the Abuser

Disillusioned

Clara was finally allowed to go home. Mabok is still the same. Every morning you can only fall asleep and vomit. Makes him have to quit his job. Boby is also hyper protective. Clara was forbidden to do anything.

"Sweep, mop, wash, wash dishes, let me do it. Food just buy according to your liking. Take care of him Poc, the others don't matter" Boby said. Clara smiled.

"But I'm pregnant sister, not sick" Clara argued. The confused one wants to do. Not working and not doing anything.

"Pregnant is important. I'll ask for a short assignment. I'm not a field agent who goes undercover every day. Anyway I try to be able to accompany you. okay.. don't think about the unimportant," said Boby at length. 

***

They are currently relaxing. The new moon arrives. Hape Boby reads the message. By Dito. Raised Clara's hospital bills yesterday.

"Five million??!!" mumbling Boby shocked.

"What Brother?" ask Clara kepo. Taking Boby's hape out of his hand.

"Well!! Seriously??? Why this much??" clara asked in shock.

"You are calm. Let me think" said Boby stroking the head of Clara.

"Try asking the hospital. I was only in second grade, also continued to use private insurance and in approval. It's impossible" Clara said. Boby was quiet as usual. Distracting Clara from anything else. Again Clara felt her husband was not strict with his family.

***

Boby took himself to the hospital before returning home the next day. Inquire about the chapter of the Pocik Hospital charge bill.

"On behalf of Mrs Clara Nessa there is no cost sir, not the initial entry using BPJS, then continued insurance xxx," explained the hospital administration. Boby felt his body being electrocuted. Didn't expect Dito's sister to be like that. That cold!!

"Thank you, Ma'am," said Boby stammered. Passed from the front of the hospital administration with gontai.

His body shook withholding the grief. The glimpses of the events of little Dito who always played with him flashed like a non-stop movie in his mind. My dear sister. The younger brother Boby always won, is now the cruelest man to hurt him. Dito knows for sure he and Pocik are in the stage of bankruptcy. All assets are gone. Including Clara's house that is still being tried to survive. Knowing the installments of home certificate debt is very large. Until he and Pocik lived very simply in this Jogja. But it turns out Dito is still trying to step on it much deeper. Boby was disappointed.

Deep down Boby actually justifies Pocik's speech. The debt from the late papa was too awkward. Especially with Dito who managed to buy his own car and house. Boby tried to ignore it. Still justifying the actions of Dito who always meri (iri) with him since childhood. It doesn't matter if his sister is happy, but this time it's really outrageous!!! OUTRAGEOUS!!

The notif of his hape is back on. A message from Santi asking for a transfer of his allowance.

'You pay for arisan.' Type Santi. Boby rubbed his face rough. He just received a salary. In the transfer with nominal that can not be said to be cheap. Already to pay the installment of two debts and other obligations. Also transfer to Pocik account. Now he is the only breadwinner in his small family. Pocik is not allowed to work because of pregnancy. Dizziness….. Boby's really dizzy…. Want to get the rest of the money?? To pay his debt to Dito? Or pocket money for Santi??

Eventually Boby transfers the rest of his money to Dito. Then call his sister. Trying to see how cruel his sister is.

"To, I paid the pot first. Though just this morning payday hehehe," Boby said on the phone.

"The next month…. I really don't have any leftovers. Sama.. ask for help to give mama pocket money for this month only. I really don't have any money" Boby said. Silent moment. Dito never gave money to Santi. I should give this a month. Inner Boby.

"That means the debt plus Mas, the rest of the hospital bills, the same Mas debt to make your pocket money," replied Dito across the street. Boby's tears shed instantly.

"Yes" Boby answered briefly and then turned off his phone. Wearing his helmet and covering the dark glass part of the eye. Crying while riding his bike.

Boby came home sad. His eyes are still very visible.

"Big brother why?" asked Clara who was picking up clothesline. Boby has repeatedly forbidden him to move, but Clara is not a woman who can be dumbfounded. 

Boby snatches the clothesline from Clara's hands.

"I told you not to do homework!!! Why are you so crazy!!!" boby snaps at Clara. His wife was shocked. Boby realized his mistake. It wasn't Pocik who should have been his anger spill. But his heart was very troubled. Boby left in front of Pocik. Passed into the room while carrying a clothesline.

Clara's tears were pouring down. Is that what he was snapped at? Boby who is usually sweet turns into fierce and rude?? Clara cried in the small living room of their pavilion. Sleeping in the living room with a cheap plastic carpet. Boby came by when Clara was asleep. Lifting the tiny body of Clara that is getting fuller and longer. Put it back on their bedroom bed with a heart. Boby stroking thin hair Pocik. Tidying it from the face.

"Sorry. Sister is too dizzy Poc. forgive me, son," said Boby while stroking Clara's stomach. Boby's sleeping next to Pocik. Hugging dearly the body of his wife. Clara dodged. Throw Boby's hand away quickly. He was not the type of kebo who did not wake up when his body floated in the move. Just lazy to wake up and lazy to interact with Boby. 

Boby smile. Know that Pocik doesn't sleep. Back tightly hugged Pocik from behind.

"I'm sorry…. Sorry," whispered Boby. Clara was silent again. Not answering and closing your eyes. Boby bit Pocik's cheek. The woman immediately turned around to hit Boby's arm. 

"It hurts!!!" pocik yelled finally open his voice.

"I'm sorry then.I'm sorry, you know," said Boby, holding Pocik in his arms. The woman leaned against her husband's chest. A moment of silence passed with those who embraced each other comfortably. Exhaust each other's energy with love.

"Have you been forgiven yet?" ask Boby gently. While kissing Pocik's forehead.

"Not yet! I'm not wrong, but yelled," Pocik's fight was awful.

"Sorry, sorry. I was really upset. My mind is totally dizzy. Not repeated again. Promise.." said Boby, brandishing two fingers.

"I want drunk rambak (a typical Solo food) as an apology," said Clara.

"Rambak dust??" ask Boby while scratching his head. It's night and it's not in Solo. Inner Boby.

"Now" said Clara with glassy eyes. Pregnant women want to give orders. 

"Yes, I found it" said Boby limp. Get up from his sleep.