I know you're cheating

Digging into the past

Arriving at the apartment, Dikta rushed into the room. Hurriedly, he approached the nightstand and opened the small drawer underneath it haphazardly. A bottle of medicine that he hadn't touched for a long time tried to find with the rest of his energy. Her trembling body and increasingly congested breathing really tormented her and forced her to leave Varissa alone in the hospital a while ago.

Successfully finding the thing he was looking for, Dikta immediately opened the white medicine bottle. He then took out at least three round-shaped pills from the bottle and put them in his mouth before reaching for a glass of water that was always available on the nightstand. After a long time, the disease finally returned because the memories of the past also slowly began to return.

"Why don't you just die, huh? Why are you the only one who survived while my kids didn't?"

"Killer! You killed my brother, right? Come, ngaku! You psychopathic boy!"

The whispers made Dikta's ears hurt. With both hands, he tried to close his ears so that the voices could no longer be heard.

"I'm not a killer! I'm not a murderer!" Dikta shook his head loudly in a curled up position in the corner of the room while continuing to cover his ears. He was crying in silence. No one ever knew what his wound was like. What is the pain and what is the trauma.

All that he kept himself since Hadi Ananta died. Only the man knew what he was all along. Only the man knew how big a hole he had created in his heart from trauma was thrown out by his own family in the past.

He who hopes to get a place to lean on his extended family after losing both parents and brothers in a disaster that he never wanted, was even blasphemed and blamed for the fateful tragedy. None of the family was on his side at the time. All looked at Dikta like a predator to be shunned even in annihilation.

"Don't look at Dikta that way, Grandma! I'm not a murderer!" he shouted while continuing to hide his face between the knees he bent.

The face of his grandmother at that time. Also the faces of his Uncle and Aunt are still remembered until now. Those judgmental eyes continued to terrorize him every night. Although it had disappeared for some time, the terror came back to haunt him.

Dikta had already been banished and knew very well how painful it was to feel. And, Varissa also experienced the same thing from Erik's family. What's wrong if Dikta only wants to defend Varissa from people like that?

*****

"Well, Va? Not home? Asked where?" ask Dr. Indi, an obstetrician who met with Varissa and Dikta to consult about the pregnant program they are planning.

Indeed, both of them intend to quickly have a baby after marriage. They do not want to delay long because Varissa himself has long wanted the presence of a child. Not wanting to end up with a similar case like Erik, he finally decided to consult with Dr. Indi who is a close friend of different majors while in college first.

"Udah go home first" replied Varissa while removing any traces of tears that remained.

"Tok you at the stay?"

Varissa smiled bitterly. The woman bowed while shaking weakly. Trying to hold back the crying that seemed like it was about to break again.

"Va?" Doctor Indi touches Varissa's shoulder gently. "News, why? Arraigned, huh?" tanyanya while turning Varissa's body to face him.

Varissa nodded again. Dan, that's right! The crying broke again in the arms of his good friend.

"I'm wrong, Ndi!" varissa said in between her cries.

"Udah, Va! Don't cry, yeah! Story to me! What was? Why are you fighting?" ask Doctor Indi concerned.

The obstetrician was completely unaware of the current situation. Just a moment ago, Varissa and Dikta seemed fine. Both of them even look so compact and friendly.

"My advice, mending you let him calm down first. You should also calm down. Let it be, if you meet later and want to solve the problem, do not use the fight anymore!" doctor Indi said after hearing the whole story.

"Maybe, I'm the one who's not sensitive, Ndi! I can not understand the feeling of Dikta even though he himself has tried to make me happy all this time," said Varissa.

The question raised Varissa's head.

"You mean?"

Doctor Indi sniffed his shoulder. "It's just my feeling, anyway! Just, based on your story about him not being too open with his past, maybe he's trying to cover something up."

"But, he's been looking good all along, really!"

"A quiet surface isn't always safe, Va! The proof is, he exploded, right? Who knows, the explosion of him and his past are intertwined," said Doctor Indi full of confidence.

"But, how's it going, Ndi? Dikta always ngeles when I ask!"

Both of Doctor Indi's eyebrows seemed to be frowning. His index finger tapped on the surface of the phone that was in his hand while thinking hard.

"Try asking Dr. Imran. Who knows, he knows a little about the past of Dikta from your late Papa!"

Varissa nodded excitedly. Yeah, too, huh? Why didn't he think in that direction? In fact, Varissa most know that his father during his life never hid anything to Doctor Imran. And, perhaps, her father also told her about Dikta's past.

"Yes, yuk! I'll get you home!" said Doctor Indi after glancing at the clock on his wrist.

"No, Ndi! I'll take you!" reject the bad Varissa.

"Udah! Selow, Va! We are, man! There are no terms of mutually troublesome in terms of friendship," replied Doctor Indi who responded lightly.

Inevitably, Varissa finally came home with delivered by Doctor Indi. However, not to his house, but to the house of Doctor Imran. This matter should be quickly resolved considering the marriage of him and Dikta that will last about a week longer

"They? How late at night gini, coming?" aunt Hesti asked a little confused.

"Om Imran is there, Tan?" ask Varissa.

"There, up above! You go straight to his study. Then Aunty will bring you a drink, yes!"

"Thank you, Auntie!" varissa replied smilingly as she set her feet slightly in a hurry towards the second floor where Doctor Imran's office was located.

"Varissa?" Doctor Imran greeted as he invited the young woman to enter.

"Om, can Va ask Om something?"

Doctor Imran narrowed both his eyes. There seems to be something odd about Varissa coming to her house tonight.

"What do you want to ask, Va?" asked Doctor Imran while fixing the location of his glasses.

"It's about Dikta's past, Om!"