Holy Love Alina

Chapter 32

"Don't Mas Heru, I'm not ready..."

Alina held Heru's hand ready to unbutton her shirt.

Alina looked at Heru's face right above her. The face that is reddened in the master of passion. And suddenly Alina became afraid. In his eyes Heru was like a monster who was ready to pounce on him. Then one by one the memories revolved in Alina's mind. A past memory that shouldn't appear at a time like this. But no matter how hard Alina tried to hit him, the nightmare shadow still did not want to go.

Heru who is in the possession of nafs* does not stop just like that, again Heru tried. Grasping Alina's hand gently and moving her aside.

"Why Alina? I'm your husband, trust me..."

Heru again stretched out his hand, already impatiently touching the mound that was in front of him.

But suddenly, Alina instead pushed her body.

"Don't Mas..."

Heru's body was piled to the side. That afternoon, he was like a loser who failed to touch his own wife.

Heru then got up and sat down, then turned to the side where Alina was also sitting with a pale and frightened face.

"What's Alina?"

Heru really did not understand Alina's behavior that changed suddenly. Didn't Alina just welcome him with open arms and say that she loves him too? Then why did it become like this?

Beside him Alina even sobbed while immersing her face in both her hands.

"I'm sorry Mas Heru.forgive me..."

"That's it, it's okay, I'll go to the bathroom first..."

Heru then stepped into the bathroom and flushed his head with as much water as possible, then soaked.

Heru could not deny there was a feeling of disappointment in his heart despite still trying to calm down.

Inside the room, Alina was still sobbing. Alina regretted her inappropriate actions towards her husband. But Alina couldn't do much either. Her mind could not control her, even though she wanted to serve her husband.

"Astaghfirullah hal adzim.astaghfirullah hal adzim..."

Alina continued to say the phrase istighfar to win her troubled heart.

Out of the bathroom, Heru again found Alina who was still sitting on the bed with a puffy face. Heru also approached his wife.

"Alina, what's the matter? Want to tell me?"

Alina just shook her head. He was really not ready to share this turmoil with Heru.

"It's okay, calm down, I'll take a walk in the park for a while..."

Maybe they need time for each. Heru decided to get out of the house so that his mind was clear and Alina also had time to calm down in his absence.

Seeing Heru come out with a face of restrained disappointment, Alina really felt sinful. But there's not much he can do, because it turns out the bad stories of the past still haunt him. Carrying trauma that plagued the ark he had just built.

Alina then went into the bathroom to clean herself up. After taking a bath, Alina brewed a cup of coffee for her husband, then served it at the front desk with some cakes that had been available in the kitchen.

Just as Alina placed the tray on the terrace table, Heru stepped towards her.

"Drink coffee first..."

"Yes, thank you so much..."

Heru sat down and started drinking his wife's first coffee.

Not wanting to be trapped in the awkward atmosphere Alina chose to go to the kitchen and busied herself there. Although there is not much work that can be done because Bi Siti always has to take care of everything before leaving. Alina simply tidied up the rather messy arrangement of the dishes and wiped away some of the stains splashed on the kitchen wall.

Not long after, there was the sound of adhan maghrib from the mosque in the complex.

"Alina, I go to the mosque first..."

Shouted Heru from the front room. Heru was not someone who was so devout in worship. Usually Heru only pray at home alone. But when his heart was crushed instinctively Heru was moved to get closer and complain the problem to God.

"Yes, yeah..."

After completing the prayer, Alina continued to say prayers until then the sound of Heru's arrival was heard. Alina took care of her prayer equipment and came out to greet Heru.

And it turns out that Heru came along with Bi Siti who was going to cook dinner for them.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Anything can be Bi..."

"I'll make fried rice, right? Wait a minute, Non..."

"Well Bi, no need to hunt...."

While stepping, suddenly Alina's gaze met with Heru who had just walked out of the room. I don't know why that moment felt so awkward.

Heru stepped forward towards the sofa and sat there. While Alina continued her steps into the room. Alina chose to busy herself blushing for Ghazi. And when she was done, Alina immediately went out and approached Heru.

"Mas Heru, I'd like to take a look at Ghazi for a moment and deliver this..."

Alina said goodbye to her husband before leaving.

"Yes, please, say my regards to Mama and Ghazi..."

"Yes, yeah..."

Alina then stepped up quickly.

Seeing Ghazi laughing while playing around with Mama, made Alina feel comforted. Alina took Ghazi from Mama and hugged him tightly. How Alina felt so missed her son even though there was not a day they separated. And seeing Ghazi's smile made Alina able to forget for a moment her problem.

"Alina, don't be too long, your husband must have been waiting" said Mama reminded Alina.

"Yes Ma..."

Alina kissed Ghazi and said goodbye with a heavy heart.

"I go first Ma, take Ghazi again Ma, thank you very much Mama..."

Alina and Mama hugged.

"Of course, honey, Mama will keep your Ghazi calm..."

Alina returned to the pavilion. There Heru was already sitting at the dining table and Bi Siti was busy serving food.

"Let me just Bi..."

Alina soon took over Bi Siti's activities of serving her husband.

"Yes Non, Auntie took a minute..."

Bi Siti went to give her employer time to be alone.

But it turned out that it actually made the two more trapped in an awkward atmosphere.

After finishing eating Heru immediately went into the room, while Alina chose to clean up their food marks.

After she finished, Alina immediately followed Heru into the room. And it turns out that Heru is preparing to come out while carrying his personal belongings.

"Alina, you sleep in this room, I'll sleep in the side room. If you need anything, you can call me."

Heru immediately stepped in without caring for Alina's answer.

Alina was sitting limp on the bed. It should be their bridal night tonight. But Heru instead told her to split up the room. Alina realized this was because of her mistake. Alina felt like a bad wife.

Alina uttered Istighfar many times. Alina was aware of so many sins she had committed. Maybe that's why God punishes him like this.

That night Alina finally decided to pray repentance. Alina regretted her sins that had been adulterous in the past. After she finished praying, Alina continued to pray and pray. Begging to be forgiven and given the opportunity to serve and serve as a wife without the shadow of her past that continues to haunt. Alina promised, I will try to be a good wife. She will give up all her heart, soul, and body to serve her husband according to the commandment of God and in accordance with the Shari'a in her religion.

After she finished praying and praying, Alina felt that her heart was much calmer.

Hopefully Heru will still forgive him and there is still a chance to fix everything.