High School Autobiography

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRR!

        It is now exactly at 22:09 p.m., a starless night, right in a small, modest house on the side of the highway, which is clinging to a neighboring house, in the secretive town of Artana, with shades of green, Fihan and his grandmother live in the house. This house only has five narrow rooms, the floor is still from cement, the walls are still not painted, like a new house so, even there is absolutely no decoration or anything here, the walls are still not painted, except in the two rooms, there is only a wardrobe accompanied by a medium-sized mattress. Fihan was sitting cross-legged in the main room, right next to the entrance while playing with a mobile phone, he sat with his back against the wall. Soon the grandmother came from the room on the left side of Fuhan.

“This is your same house Eril ya?” asked the grandmother in her hoarse-sounding voice.

“Hem,” replied Fihan with a focus on his phone.

“Nek, sit down and look at this,” he continued while pulling his grandmother's left hand.

So without a doubt the grandmother sat with her legs folded in front of Fihan. Fihan also showed a photo on his cell phone, a photo of Sieren's house burning.

“Astagfirullah al'adziiim.”.

The grandmother was shocked, and anxious, the article his grandson actually did not solve the problem but instead added complicated problems.

“What do you do?” anxious grandma.

“This self-defense name is Nek,” replied Fihan back down staring at the screen of his phone.

“Astagfirullah, that's not the way! What if you go to jail?” granny fret.

Then Fihan put his phone down, grabbed the wrinkled right hand of the grandmother, in the hope of the grandmother being calm, the deep black neutra of Fuhan he focused on looking at the dark netra of the poor grandmother, in the hope that the grandmother could understand.

“Nek, if we always accept the oppression of people without resisting under the pretext of patience, that's not the name of Nek's good deeds, it's stupid deeds.” said Fihan by staring at the grandmother meaningfully.

“...Grandma, patience is an action that we receive bitter sweetness without asking him or us to be reciprocated by God, did not mother die from being tortured by father just because mother always advises good father, good father, though the mother is a ustazah, and the mother resigned to accept the heinous actions of the father, the mother is indeed a good person, but the mother is also a fool... Grandma, if only mother really upholds her religious law she should be separated with father, instead of instead of arguing to take dad to the right path..Consense is not Nek?” continue with a thin smile.

“Enough!” sergeant Grandma while releasing her grandson's hand.

The grandmother could not accept if her granddaughter dared to criticize and insinuate her mother, for the grandmother the words of Fihan were not at all appropriate.

“Yokmu's face is your brash reply,” he continued insinuating.

Fihan undaunted he turned his face back to the grandmother, Derka's punch marks were actually still shady, the bonyok was visible when the light illuminated his face, but the grandmother only realized it now, the bonyok, maybe because the grandmother's eyes are aging along with her bones. And Fihan was no longer holding Grandma's hand.

“You fight right, continue later the police come, you must be sorry,” said grandma guessed hoping that Fihan realized his mistake.

But, calmly, Fuhan exhaled his breath while bowed, he felt his actions were very precise and right, it was precisely for him that the grandmother was wrong and did not understand, then he looked at the grandmother meaningfully.

“What does grandma want? If waiting for God to retaliate, it is the same as ruling God, then why do we live if everything is charged to God?” fuhan surprised by insinuating and criticizing the attitude of the grandmother.

“Fihan's law, the law, we let the law work,” granny refutes.

“Grandmother, the law of God is very hard, it is just a house that is burned, if the law of God that works then it can be more than that, do grandmothers want mother tortured?” reply Fihan do not want to lose.

“The grandmother meant not being tortured, but, opened her heart and mind,” refuted the grandmother.

The grandmother did not want to lose, this was all done to save the good name of the beloved grandson.

“Then it is called Nek's guidance, while the guidance is not based on the law of God, but because of His affection.grandmother, we need not exaggerate this matter.”.

“Obviously this has to be in question, it's your mother's house, and there's your mother,”

Although the grandmother knew that the house was passed down to Fihan but, the name of the land ownership in the name of Sieren, so that no matter how great Fihan quibble, he was still wrong, both in action and legally.

“That stepmom.”

“But we must not retaliate with evil, it is the same if we are evil,” granny worried.

“I do not retaliate with the crime of Nek, avenging the bad guy is not the crime of Nek, it's the law of Nek, retaliating on the murderer by killing the murderer, it's also the law of Nek, if I'm evil, it's the law of Nek, I didn't burn his house, but I burned his man, got it?” lihan said firmly and firmly with confidence.

The grandmother shook her head, she looked down and pondered so deeply. Fihan was still at home looking at the grandmother, it seemed like the grandmother lost the argument, indeed there was not a single person who was able to silence the argument of Fihan, even a teacher could not defeat the argument of Fihan, not even a teacher could beat, except for the principal at his High School. Because the time was also night plus the grandmother who was at home in her reflection, it seems like the grandmother is still looking for a gap to silence the perception and way of thinking of Fihan, then Fihan also rose to his feet while holding his phone, but the look in his eyes was still on the grandmother, he knew that his grandmother would definitely return to talk.

Sihan's guess is right! The grandmother remained firm with the truth, no matter what happened, her grandmother did not want her granddaughter to be guilty, precisely did not want her granddaughter to take revenge.

“Whatever you've been wrong,” he added staunchly.

Fihan was silent for a moment, he understood very well the attitude of the stubborn grandmother, just like the late mother of Fihan, that according to them the goodness is to accept the evil of people and continue to be patient in oppression, and to be patient in the, obviously, Fihan was no longer willing to accept the advice of the grandmother, even Fihan had thought that all humans in the city of Artana were no adults even though their bodies were tall and muscular, and they were very muscular, their maturity is just wishful thinking. Then Fihan looked down at his grandmother's wrinkled face, looking at her with high seriousness.

“Nek, look me in the eye,” pinta Fihan.

The grandmother clearly directed her net of love with a look of pity but expectant, she willingly looked up to look at the black eyes of Fuhan.

“Salah or not this is still so ambiguous Nek, it's all a matter of point of view, if grandma is in the position of Sieren's mother, it's all a matter of view, grandma would have thought that the fire of her house was because she was always evil to us, it was a law of karma, but if grandma was her, then the house fire was a disaster for her, it was her failure, she said, and in our position this is a victim who upholds the law,” explains Fihan with emphasis on every word.

But the grandmother shook her head in disbelief, for Fihan her grandmother did not understand, while for the grandmother of Fihan was wrong. The grandchildren and grandmothers still considered their perceptions to be the most correct.

“Do not bring the law! What kind of law do you mean?!” sergeant grandma doesn't take it.

“Nah right, I've said all this is ambiguous, it's already Nek, besides this is also the fault of Sieren's mother,” reply Fihan still feel right.

“Do not make grandma dizzy, and do not give up your evil actions it is based on the law, which law do you mean?” sturdy grandma.

“Loh, did I say, this is all ambiguous Nek.... understand the meaning?” moaning Fihan tried to stop the resistance said the grandmother.

“If still confusing hita..” sayings grandma cut.

“Already, we sleep Grandma, tomorrow I go to school. Met night,” cut off Fihan while stepping towards his room.

Fihan denied that he was completely unwilling to argue with his grandmother, because he knew that her brain was too slow to digest the meaning of the words of Fihan, just like his feelings for his biological mother, Fihan doesn't love his grandmother, he doesn't really understand how he feels about her, what kind of affection is that? The feeling only felt cold every time he saw the old face of the grandmother, even looking at the grandmother from head to toe, making the inner Fihan wonder, why love the old grandmother who almost fell? For him loving the grandmother will only make the grandmother more old, but, one thing is certain, Fihan is still not able to find the form of his feelings, what is love like? Or what is that affection like?

As long as Fihan lived, his family had always been preoccupied by their respective worlds, quarrels and indifference were commonplace to Jihan from childhood, and from then on, Fihan had concluded, This is what he had been seeing since childhood, that love will only lead to jealousy and a desire to have a war, and compassion is only a trick to make the enemy submit. What and how should Fihan accept his feelings, isn't his father cruel? Isn't her mother stupid? Wasn't her grandmother weak? Are not his friends selfish? Then why follow the secret cold feeling in his heart? That's no use!

The grandmother nodded without a smile, she let herself lose the argument against her grandson, even though the grandmother loved Fihan very much, she just did not want to be a family member who failed in dealing with her family problems, and she did not want to be a family member, the grandmother understood very well the feelings of her granddaughter, Fihan was a neglected child, the affection of her parents was only limited to property, so that Fihan could not conclude which was right, which was right, which is good and which is right, his grandson only guesses the right way of life, thinking that what he does is the absolute truth, even though the grandmother had always been with Fihan since Fihan was born in this world, but still the grandmother was unable to do anything, unable to make Fihan understand that his way of thinking was not right! Fihan is a stubborn boy, just like his late father.

“You do look like your father,” murmured the grandmother did not mean to praise, instead, asserting that Fihan had done the same mistake as his father.

Fihan had stopped for a moment at the mouth of his room door, but, he stepped back, reluctant to comment on the opinion of the grandmother who impressed childish just to make Fihan plead guilty, explained Fihan did not care, for him his father is a criminal, title or even the name of the father does not give the opportunity to consider his parents very valuable. Still imprinting the important words of the father who was imprinted in his head.

“You must be diligent in school, and be the champion of the class, then, you count your friends there, even if you need to, make your teacher look stupid, because it is important for you to form your identity.”

Fihan had stepped up precisely, his identity had already begun to take shape, the suffering with his stepmother had disappeared, he did not need the help of that pretentious Farka, he was so concerned, nor did he need the old poor grandmother's advice, for Fihan the right help was the right action of his own thinking, and the right advice was from his own feelings, he said, whatever he does is good and right, for, the cold feeling that seeps in his heart is the truth that must be accepted, and his way of thinking is the way to manifest his feelings, precisely expressing his lively feelings.

Room Fihan adjacent to the grandmother's room, a small room not comparable to the magnificent room of the old Fihan, this room nuanced gray, with wooden windows that seem the room has not been completed, but the room has not yet been completed, after Fihan closed the door to his room, he lay tired on the bed, his phone lying next to him as if accompanying the night break.

While the grandmother was stunned full of confusion, she still could not accept Fihan's vile deeds, Fihan was still wrong, because burning people's houses was not the right thing, plus a revenge that does not at all condone the enforcement of the law. The grandmother still remembers the upbringing of the father of Fihan who was too heinous, when his father was still alive, when the age of Fihan was seven years old, he was equipped with a dirty understanding by his father.

“Fihan, you have to be successful,” said the father while holding onto Fihan by looking at his flower garden.

“What kind of success is it?” ask Fihan full of innocence.

“Success it.. When you can pull the trigger of a gun, then you aim right at your mother's head, daaaaaannnnn DOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRR.R.....!” the father replied while tickling at Fuhan's waist until Fuhan was curled up laughing.

“Hahahaha..

“Then mother will sleep well,” continued the father who sounded berguyon.

They laughed with the guyonan which was basically a command. So you can guess what Fihan did after that, but, thankfully the grandmother came and managed to turn the atmosphere into a joke, even though there was no laughter from Fihan, at least her mother survived.

Perhaps for some it is not an understanding or a big problem, but for a child, the reality before him is absolute truth, and the words of the parents are sacred verses that must be obeyed, so that Fihan has a feeling of insensitivity, cold and arrogant, the grandmother understood very well that the character of Fihan is formed from his environment, formed from the teachings of his parents, then manifest from the way he thinks to accept the events of his life, strengthen all those traits as proof of the truth of his identity, when it is wrong!