Friend, Only You.

Chapters 15. My Taste For Ega.

San Pov's.

I poured out my heart to Brother about the taste I had for a Girl who became my Best Friend.

I want to marry her, the Sweet Girl that made me fall in love. The girl's name is Ega.

I don't know when that taste existed?

When I listen to her voice my heart is pounding. When I listened to her silly story I really laughed happily.only this time did I meet a girl who was so innocent.

His behavior makes me anxious and always misses.

This feeling is real for him but I can't reveal it because I'm afraid that the feeling I have is rejected by him.

Maybe he just thinks I'm his best friend isn't someone special in his heart.

At night when I was taking a break from my exhausting work I read a message from him.

"I Want to Marry You, Hasan."

That sentence was able to comfort me when fatigue struck.

I'll try to do that, try to fight for you even if it's hard. I realize you are difficult to achieve because of the differences between us.

You are my hope then I will strive to fight for that hope.

For days I was over the Ocean and stopped in some countries where this ship was leaning.

Of course that miss came with me wherever I was but I tried to hold it back.

By the time it arrived I was allowed to leave and return to my homeland. It was great to be able to set foot on my birth island of Lomboq.

The ship that carried me was leaning safely. I came down happily, the family greeted me and so you stood there.

I saw you looking and observing one by one the people who got off the Ship trying to find myself among them.

I wanted to run to greet you, I was really happy to see you there but the reality was against me.

This desire, this longing and this feeling of wanting to get close to you but I can't because the reality is holding me back.

I want you not to look at me so that I don't incise a wound in your heart. Just try there is no news about the fact that maybe at this time I have run to you there.

I want to get away so you don't find me.

Apparently a pair of beautiful eyes had managed to catch my figure walking away from you.

I heard your voice calling. Keep calling, I can't bear it and stop to show myself for you to be relieved. Maybe this is the only way you won't run out of voice because you keep calling me.

I fell silent and turned around and smiled waiting for you where I stood

I saw you running towards me but the stone stopped your steps.

I wanted to come over and reach out to help you get up and stand up, but the reality held me back.

I see you shed tears. My heart feels the pain you are experiencing. I want to approach and wipe away your tears again reality holds me back.

I sent a little girl to help you with my message.

"Rise up, continue your life. Reality is not on our side."

It hurts me but still reality doesn't care.

I can't bear to leave you alone here then I can only watch from a distance making sure you're okay. Actually I really want to approach you tell all my complaints, tell me all the future that I have designed with you but it was just my beautiful dream when I woke up the dream disappeared I could not achieve anymore. it was very difficult to realize the dream because again reality pressured me not to continue the dream with you.

If only you knew what I was hoping for. Hope wants to immediately make you gulp the sweetness of our togetherness in a marriage rope that is owned by God but why the reality came to turn away all my dreams that I have filled your name.

I can only stare at your back away from this place, knowing that I was watching you faithfully until I was completely out of my sight.

You're the one I like but the truth doesn't like that.

You're the one I miss but reality doesn't miss that.

You're the one I expected to be my life partner but reality didn't expect that.

I have a taste for you but reality does not want to have a taste on your behalf.

Forgive me for not being able to escape that reality.

This is the name of destiny and destiny should we Imani and I know you believe it.

I'm sorry my best friend, my love Ega.

I'm sorry this is all I can say to walk you away from me.

Ii'm sorry.

***

Evening came, my body was tired and so was my heart, tired of longing. People say it is true that longing is hard. Although I am tired I will always bear the feeling I have only for you.

I realized, we would never be together to knit our dreams together. The reality that I face is so hard even though I lighten it with my surrender.

I'm sorry Ga, I lost a fight with that fact. Even though I tried to keep you in front of him.

I remember what really happened that made me run away from you. I am a cowardly man who cannot explain why the love I have is limited to the heart without pledging to unite your heart and my heart to be us in a halal bond. I honestly want to do that but I can't reach ridho. I can what? Besides running away without a word to strengthen the slump that will happen to you. I'm sorry Ga, have to accept the family decision.

I tried to close my eyes but the sentences separating us still echoed around me.

"Hasan, Amaq heard from your brother you want to get married? Really, Son?"

I was silent at that moment. Frankly, there is a sense of anxiety mingling with happiness if it turns out that the two people I love and respect allow it. I nodded my head in response to my seriousness.

"Tell me about the girl" said Amaq to see me full of boos.

With hesitation, I looked at the old faces of my parents one by one in the company of the two Big Brother.

When I looked at them, there was a cue that convinced me to start telling stories. Without a doubt I told you a long story about you, the beginning we met and what you were like.

"So, her name is Baiq Ega Fajrina?" said Amaq softly. But there was a tone of sadness tucked in there when he mentioned your name.

"Son, listen to Amaq. Amaq is hard to say this, honestly Amaq has found a girl for you. Did you tell me when you were sailing? marry the girl of Amaq's choice. Amaq hopes you can realize the wishes of these old parents. Show your devotion to these two parents who do not know when time is facing Him, which is clearly getting closer. Forgive Amaq, it does not mean that you do not approve of your relationship with the Girl of your choice just that the Girl is too high a position with you, son. He's named BAIQ while you don't have a LAST name. Are we able to fulfill the custom and also Pisuke that both parents ask for. The girl is an ASN and her education is a level higher than yours. Of course it has a distance between you and him. So listen to our request, forget her and marry our girl of choice, you understand, San?"

What Amaq said was so deep in my memory. I was honestly shocked to hear it. But his gentle tone asked me not to argue. That's the word I have to run.

"I forgive my helplessness, Ga! I can't fight for you to make my dreams come true. I've broken my promise, I made it easy and I didn't keep it. I'm a hypocrite, but I want to be filial.

I should what? Right now I feel the heart being sliced by the Dagger but what power, reality is not on our side.

Destiny, I'm trying to accept it and I hope you can accept it.

I see the bulkhead between us looks real now. At first I didn't realize that, because I had made my heart firmly fall in love with you and let that love fill the chest cavity and now I feel the tightness of not being able to be together.

"Gee, I want to meet. Don't you feel my misses getting heavier?"

I said softly, but not delivered to your ears, so what should I do?

Ii'm sorry.

It turns out we can't be together. Last morning I saw your sweet face and tonight I want to remember you last. Come tonight, accompany my restless sleep.

Seriate.