Fear Aida

Reborn

"Ting Tong"

The sound of the house bell woke me up, I opened my eyes and I saw the sky room while trying to gather energy because of the weakness I felt all over my body.

"Did I dream in my sleep when I remembered about the events of Celline?" thought

I could hardly tell the difference between a dream and reality back then, my guilt still haunted me even when I had left behind eight years of bad memories and my sense of responsibility as a psychiatric doctor. Especially the memories of Celline that haunted me so much, it just took a little trigger and all those memories were back in my head.

Returning to this place made my worst memories replay so easily, no matter how far I dodged and disappeared it would not easily take away all the memories of Celline. It's no longer about my career failing, but the shadow of Celline sticking scissors around her neck is what it's hard for me to get out of my mind.

"Ting Tong"

I heard the bell of the house again and realized that the bell of the house was not a dream, I went out of bed to open the door for anyone who pressed my doorbell that morning. Before actually opening it at that time I had time to peek from a peephole in the door because I was curious who came, I found Rachel at my door and without hesitation I opened the door.

"Hi.." said Rachel, sounding relaxed,

I just looked at her face without saying anything, my guilt about her made me not know what to say at a time like this. I still have no face to meet him, especially after what happened to us recently.

"You just woke up? look how messy you were this morning." she said, wanting to touch my cheek with her hand, but my hand held her back.

"I'll get ready first, come in" I said, turning around to leave him in front of the entrance.

I felt Rachel follow me inside the house and then close the door, as the sound of the door closing again made me surprised by her words.

"Have you seen the contents of your closet? all your clothes I always laundry once a month" Rachel said as she walked to the living room and put a sling bag and some paper bag on a table, he was sitting casually on one of the sofas while I was still glued to him.

Nothing has changed for Rachel, this morning she came as if she had not shed a tear from being hurt by the treatment she had received from me. I was indeed a man who was not kind to her, for a moment I felt that I did not deserve to be treated well by Rachel.

"Why? do you need me to rub your back?" in a joking tone Rachel told me

"No, that's not it. All night I remember the past and I remember how evil I was to you, the guilt I was not able to bury until now" I replied regretfully, as I said, then I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Not to think about it, I've forgotten it all. But if you're talking about Celline, I feel the same way about you. Celline's voice still haunts me today" Rachel said as she turned her eyes to a window there

Then I left Rachel in the room to go to the bathroom located on the second floor next to my room. The warm water from the shower into my body was like relaxing and giving me new energy, then I remembered that maybe three days had passed and I had not cleaned myself up. I don't know how much I smell today, maybe it's been bothering people around me all along but I didn't realize it.

When I came out of the bathroom next to the room, I saw a red shirt and black cloth pants were available on the bed. It seems that Rachel who had prepared it while I was bathing earlier, I put on the clothes that were already available and then immediately prepared to leave for the building of the victim protection institution and witnesses.

As I walked down to the first floor I heard the sound of someone in the kitchen, my steps led to the kitchen and found Rachel cooking. Our eyes met as I was about to enter the dining room that fused with the kitchen, Rachel smiled at me and said...

"You always fit in a red shirt" he said

The words of praise he once said when I wore a red shirt, now I hear it again after eight years have passed. I haven't heard a compliment in my life for a long time and the last time was when Aida said it, when I got it again I was happy. Rachel.he never changed even though it had been so long.

That's what Rachel did when she was at my house, she was the woman who always prepared all my needs. That's why I used to love him so much, and that's what makes me now carry a deep sense of guilt. How could it not be, before the events of Celline's suicide Rachel tried to save from the calamity but I with my arrogance even hurt her heart with a rude attitude. If only time could I turn, I would have listened to his advice. The advice he gave because he cared so much and loved me sincerely.

"Why bother like this?" I asked in a tone that objected to her treatment of me, to be honest since the incident I left her at the cafe when it made me feel awkward towards Rachel

"This has never troubled me from the past until now" he replied calmly

I was silent as I walked towards one of the dining table chairs, I sat there and kept looking at Rachel who was smiling even though she wasn't looking at me. I wonder what he was thinking, "How can he keep smiling at me who keeps trying to hurt him? what Rachel's heart is made of." I asked in my heart.

"There's something you need to know since you've been missing for eight years" while cooking Rachel wants to tell me something, but I really understand what Rachel's trying to tell me.

"Doctor Han... Is he still the chief Doctor?" at that moment, Rachel only shook her head a few times.

"Since that incident, exactly two weeks after you signed your leave letter.Han and I came to this place to visit you but you are not home" said Rachel began the story.

"I left three days after signing my cut filing papers, I also left Daniel to Mr. Simon to have him put in the police academy" I explained briefly

"Doctor Han met the health minister and submitted his resignation two months after Doctor Han died" sounding sad as Rachel said it, I was shocked to hear that I was unable to say anything.

I lowered my head to the table and we fell silent, not long before I heard the sound of Rachel's footsteps walking towards me. I slowly looked at Rachel who brought me the two plates of bolognese sauce pasta she was processing, maybe this look on her face made Rachel sure that I was in shock at the news of Han's long-ago passing.

Aside from Rachel I also felt guilty towards Doctor Han, I also regretted not taking her advice back then. I knew regret would only happen in the back and leave nothing but guilt.

"Your favorite Bolognese Sauce paste... May your taste not change" with Rachel's smile on the table right in front of me, I still stared at the plate with the paste until Rachel sat in front of me.

"of course, this is still my favorite.Thank you, then what about the other doctors?" I asked in a trembling voice, I wondered what had been going on for the past eight years.

"Doctor Maggie has resigned since Han's death, and Doctor Mark has replaced him. But the situation there worsened, suicides of patients increased by seventy-five percent and Doctor Mark was dismissed. Currently Robert's doctor is the chief doctor, he's a new person in the institution" explained Rachel

"What about you?" I turned my eyes to look at Rachel

"Everything has not gone well since the loss of you and Doctor Han, until now we have had difficulties and I hope you can come back." chirped Rachel trying to seduce me to come back.

It is impossible for a proud and haughty doctor with a failed career to swallow one suicide victim back into a psychiatric doctor. I'm just a doctor who kills my patients with the arrogance I have, I'm afraid to repeat the same thing.

"Rachel, I can't possibly go back. I.." I haven't finished talking, Rachel's hand gave me a tape recorder that she put on the table near me.

"What's this?" I stared at the tape recorder

"Will you listen to him? this was given by Doctor Han to me two weeks before he died" Rachel replied in a pleading tone to me, slowly taking the tape recorder and staring at it for a while before I finally turned it on.

***Voice Recorded In The Recorder Tape Played***

Hi Doctor Lee. No I mean Andrews Hopkins.This is Doctor Han, I know you're currently running away to calm yourself down but I'm sure one day you'll come back and when you listen to this tape I hope you've been able to forget about it.

About Celline is indeed very unfortunate but lately I think that all of it is my fault.... It is my fault for mishandling you, as your mentor I should have been mentoring you in person when I knew you were being overpowered by your lust to be the best. I realized too late and as your mentor I have failed.

Andrews, I know about your talent, you were born for it and if anything else it's the inevitability of being human. Andrews.This time I will speak as your foster father, Sir Steve Smith spoke....

Since you were fifteen we've met, your father and mother died in a car accident that traumatized you when you saw a car right in front of you. I was the doctor who treated you back then to relieve that trauma.

As your father, I have no doubts about your talent but maybe I am a bad father.I am not next to you when you really need me, I'm sorry Andrews. If we get reunited one day, I just want to be by your side not to be your mentor but to be your father. May you be happy Andrews, from your adoptive father Sir Steve Smith."

***Last Record***

I didn't feel my tears coming when the tape ended, I didn't finish my guilt for Celline, Rachel, and now the guilt goes to Mr. Steve who's my father. I have tried to hold back all these tears, but it is unbearable anymore. It was this heartlessness to remember all the kindness that Doctor Han had done to me, but I let him down instead.

"After giving me the tape, Doctor Han asked me to take care of you and convince you to go back to work at the Institution, without you there is not going well, Andrews..." said Rachel while holding my hand that had been on the table, the warm grip of Rachel's hand seemed to make me able to strengthen my resolve to return.

"Back Andrews, a lot of people are waiting for you. Doctor Han had recommended you to the minister and asked them to look for you back then, even Mr. Simon was involved but we have all lost you. Now that you're back, I hope you can answer Doctor Han's last request" her voice sounded softly asking me, at which time we looked in the eye and Rachel's eyes looked hopeful of me.

"Sir Steve taught me everything he knew and said that his work was very important to him and wanted me to continue his struggle, but I had let him down" somewhat muttering I said that, I still couldn't hold back my crying.

"He never blamed you for the incident, he still holds great hope on your shoulders. So please consider, please" asks Rachel again

Doctor Han's voice pierced through the recesses of my heart, I know how much hope he placed on me. He is right that humans must have mistakes but that does not mean they cannot have the opportunity to be better in the future.

I'm just too ashamed of the mistakes I've made, I'm ashamed that my ego overpowers instinct. I was embarrassed to be so arrogant as to establish myself as the best doctor but in the end failure appeared before my own eyes. I am ashamed to underestimate many people who are also great in their field and it turns out they are the right one.

But no matter how far I ran it seemed like God was destined for me to return, and Aida was one of the reasons I had to go back to being Lee's doctor.

"I'll do it. As a first step, Aida is my first target." I chimed in as I wiped the tears that were still wetting my cheeks.

"Good... I feel the similarities between Aida and Celline. Redeem your sin by treating Aida, Doctor Lee" Rachel smiled as she said that, I returned her smile.

Rachel was right, Aida and Celline had something in common and I just realized that. Maybe it was also what made me feel responsible for Aida's recovery, all because of my guilt towards Celline since my escape.

We started eating in front of us, not long after I heard my phone ring. When I looked at the screen, I read "Master Simon" calling me. Soon I picked up the call, hoping for some good news so I could see Aida today.

"Mister Simon" I said with great enthusiasm

"Siang Andrews, I've been to the sacrificial and witness protection institute. When are you gonna get here?" the tanyang sounds relaxed

"I'll leave Mr. Simon soon" I replied glad that I finally got to meet Aida.

"Alright, I also want to introduce you to my friend who is the Chief Doctor here. It seems like everything is going well, Andrews, Hahaha." - Sir Simon.

"Right Mr Simon, if you're allowed can you help me one more time?" my door at that time

"Of course, whatever it is, my friend" replied Mr. Simon.

"I want to be a doctor there. Sorry, I mean. I want to be a doctor there again, can you.." I'm not done yet Mr. Simon cut me off.

"So you've been listening to Doctor Han's voice recording?" asked Mr. Simon whose tone sounded sad, I felt a sense of loss from Mr. Simon's voice at that time.

"Yes, I have listened to him." I replied in a sad tone.

"He's really a good foster dad, isn't he, Andrews? it's a pity that he can't see you as a Chief Doctor, but I'm sure right now in heaven he's proud of you" master Simon's dream and those words broke my tears again.

Today my feelings are really mixed, I am sad about my failure, ashamed of my actions towards Rachel, angry about my stupidity and arrogance, I am sad about my failure, I am ashamed of my actions towards Rachel, my heart aches over Doctor Han's passing and I miss my foster father's figure as well. Rachel, I don't know if she hasn't accompanied me until now maybe my steps are gambled. My spirit is burning again, I want to start well from the beginning, Doctor Steve Smith's dream will be realized. And Aida....

" Wait for me Aida, I won't let the events of Celline happen to you" my breath started my spirit today.