Fear Aida
Eight Years ago (3)
It has been four months since I first handled Celline and less than one month to the end of the year, Daniel was declared cured but he still wanted to be in my house at that time. I don't know what I'm thinking today, I feel like I'm facing a moment of self-evidence to the people in my neighborhood. I was so proud of Celline's development and there was a part of my mind that wanting to humiliate Rachel with my proper achievements would reach 200 times, she said, Celline is nearing its total cure and has the right to return to society.
For four months also I was still with my belief that Celline did not have a dual personality, the development that Celline showed me was not much different from my previous patients. Rachel's anxiety was getting meaningless to me and it made me feel like Rachel wasn't much different from the other senior doctors who would have hindered my career, she could have stabbed me in the back. Today's times are often our enemies are the closest people because they will easily stick their knives when hugging us tightly.
"Perfect" I said at the time.
The next day one morning I walked into my room as usual but the atmosphere of the office was not as pleasant as usual, the doctors and nurses whispered while looking at me almost simultaneously. I ignored all of them and coincidentally I saw Rachel just coming out of Doctor Han's headroom and we passed her in the corridor.
"Hi..." Apply with a tinge
"What's wrong?" I was curious at the time, I don't usually see Rachel in the headroom
"I specifically asked Celline to be on my watch, sorry I didn't discuss this with you first" calmly and guiltlessly Rachel told me that, back then I was really mad at her.
Rachel's unilateral decision certainly infuriated me, it made me corroborate the notion that Rachel would get rid of me and would derail my two hundredth success. The woman I love turns out to dare to cheat and be sneaky, I hate it so much.
"What did you say?! you have no right to do that to me!!" with a snapping tone I said that and went straight into the room of doctor Han's head to ask for clarity and also asked him to refuse Rachel's request.
"Is this Chief Doctor Han?!" I was still somewhat emotional back then, yet Doctor Han only stared at me for a moment without giving an explanation
When I entered the doctor Han's room I saw him sitting casually as if nothing had happened, even my complaints were just taken for granted. Not as usual when Doctor Han always agreed with what I said. Of course it ignited my emotions, in my eyes it was all the more obvious if they wanted to destroy my career.
"Is this the way you're gonna tackle me? just one more month I'll hit my target and you two do this to me?!" I still can't control my emotions
"Since when is your personal record more important than the health of a patient, Dr Lee?" doctor Han asked, sounding a little angry
Of course that sentence means nothing to me, I am a doctor with high professionalism. Being balanced with a good career was of course a patient priority was important to me, which is why I didn't like it when Rachel took over my duties and doctor Han didn't turn her down. To me the research and data I have about Celline is irrefutable and I will prove it immediately.
"It's not just about personal records, a takeover like this I can't accept!" still with a snatch I say
"Isn't this a natural thing, Doctor Lee? you do that a lot, right?" mark's doctor's dream turned out to be right behind me, not knowing when he was there.
I know he insinuates me, among all the doctors who are here.I know he is the most envious of all my achievements and achievements, I admit I took over some of his patients back then and it was as if I insulted him by successfully healing those patients quickly.
"Doctor Mark? so you hold a grudge with me? huh uh?!" I snapped and I pulled her collar, and my emotions really exploded that day.
"Enough Andrews!! since when did you become like this?!!" Doctor Han snapped at me
"Doctor Han.." I was a little surprised by the snaps, Doctor Han is my mentor as well as a second father to me. He who taught me so many things since I was at the University until now, I didn't expect him to stand up for Mark's doctor at a time like this
My head felt like it was going to explode at that moment, true emotions had penetrated my heart and mind. I was overwhelmed by my own personal ambitions and immersed in all the praise - the pseudo-human praise, but at that time I had no idea what had happened. Slowly I took my hand off the collar of Doctor Mark's shirt, I turned around and walked over to Doctor Han's desk.
"Did I do Doctor Han's fault? aren't you the one who acknowledged my ability? have I failed in my duty? Tell me where is my fault Sir Steve Smith?!" I asked with a glance, I looked at Doctor Han's eyes so sharply.
Sir Steve Smith is the real name of Doctor Han, here we all have pseudonyms so that we can avoid all kinds of revenge criminals. It is rare among us to know the real names of colleagues, but different from Sir Steve Smith because I already consider him my second father.
"You are filled with personal ambition and endanger the lives of patients, I ask you to take your leave that you never took from last year to now. I'll be publishing your leave letter soon" Doctor Han said in a calm tone as usual, I turned around and was about to walk out of Doctor Han's study. At that time I hit the door of Doctor Han's office very hard, I was so angry with him.
Doctor Han's gaze and tone of speech disturbed my mind that day, I felt like I had lost my number one protective and encouraging figure back then. I did not think how could all like to attack me, I was never wrong with all my analysis all this time. Evidently Daniel was my one hundred and ninety-nine patient, they even saw Celline's progress well. I racked my brain trying to believe what they were saying but in vain because to me only my analysis was correct and proper to Celline's condition.
I was in my study and sitting in my chair, propping my head up with both hands and trying to calm myself down. My heart was filled with anger and humiliation, I really didn't think this would happen to me.
A file on Celline distracts me, it's Celline's last report showing her four months of emotional charts in my handling, all perfect with positive progress. Celline's development had no meaningful obstacles and she was ready to plunge into society within another week at most, indeed sometimes he shows excessive anger when he fails to do activities with me but it is still limited.
I threw the file and then turned my chair so I could look at the window where I could enjoy the clear sky that morning, I tried to calm my mind and try to accept all the insults.
"No, I'll prove I'm right!" I muttered at that moment while standing up to go to Celline's room.
In the room I saw Celline arranging the stacking blocks to build a house with the blocks, I knocked the door slowly and she seemed happy to see me in my presence that morning. His hand swept all the blocks from the table until they were thrown to the floor, and his hand immediately picked up the othello board he had placed on the table.
"Let's play this Doctor Lee" Celline seemed enthusiastic, her hand gesturing for me to quickly approach and sit opposite her.
Celline was always excited and cheerful in front of me, almost everything she thought worked out perfectly she told me. There was absolutely no suspicious attitude from Celline that could interfere with my judgment towards her.
I sat down in front of him and we started putting together the board to play together, some of our moves were done but I was still silent about not saying anything. To the point where Celline seemed confused by her next move, I opened up a conversation.
"So maybe next month you can get out of this place Celline" I chanted while playing with Celline.
"Ooh yeah? glad I've been declared cured" said Celline calmly
"So... do you feel you are still depressed by something inside you?" my question as my index finger pointed at my head and chest, I gave the gesture of a hand that Celline might be able to understand about what I wanted to ask her. Celline just smiled at me for a moment and then focused back on the othello board, she was silent for a moment until her hand put the otherlo piece back on the board.
"I feel reborn, like a baby ready to welcome a new life" Celline replied sounding calm and heard she was happy with all her development.
"Good be it. I'm glad you think that way, as a reborn person I hope your life is better in the future" I chimed while still watching the board game.
"Doctor Lee, you know the Kirigami craft?" ask Celline with a calm facial expression and tone of speech
"Sure.. why?" ask me back
"I read about the craft these few days and noticed how to make it, can we do that when this board game is over?" Ask him to me with passion
"Of course, I'll prepare it soon" I left the place and headed for the stationary warehouse.
Kirigami is the art of cutting or cutting paper. The term kirigami comes from the word kiru, which means to cut and we which means paper from the Japanese language. As the name implies, in kirigami we will cut the paper following the pattern that has been made. But we do not just cut paper, because there are techniques and patterns that we must use when cutting paper.
In the stationary room I took the folded paper, scissors and markers and immediately ran out of the warehouse but Rachel waited in front of the warehouse while looking at me sharply. I ignored her existence to walk towards Celline's room, but Rachel pulled my suit and stopped my steps.
"Wait on!! Doctor Lee!! what do you want with those scissors?!!" rachel asked with an angry tone
"I'm going to make a kirigami with Celline" I briefly explained to Rachel what I wanted to do with all the things I brought from the stationery
"Edging should not be given to patients! don't forget that rule!!" snapped, Rachel paused me by holding my shoulder back then, she seemed to be very upset with my ego
"I'll prove you wrong, follow me and see what I've been up to!!" I snapped at Rachel, I knew she was going to cry then but she held her back with all her might.
In the treatment of mental cases that are disturbed due to severe trauma, the use of dangerous goods is always avoided until the study is completed and the patient is declared cured. After that there is still a special therapy that patients undergo in the use of goods - goods that are quite dangerous.
That day somehow emotions and arrogance filled my mind since the incident all the doctors showed their disapproval with my decision towards Celline, I felt it appropriate to prove that what I believed was true.
His white face was flushed and held back my emotions, I ignored him and immediately went to Celline's room and was followed by Rachel. In the room Celline seemed happy to see me carrying equipment to make kirigami, I put it on the table and sat in front of Celline but Rachel was just standing behind me at the time.
"Well, where did you start? it seemed like the first step was like this" Celline was really enthusiastic about working on that kirigami craft, me and Rachel were just staring at Celline back then.
All went well, after a few minutes Celline was finished with his kirigami, a paper shaped like a human hand in hand. He also made a ball out of some folded paper and surrounded the ball with his kirigami, I didn't understand a bit what he wanted to say
"What's this?" ask me with passion
"Give doctor Lee, the ball symbolizes the World and this person goes hand in hand to protect the beauty of this earth" Celline laughed a little
"Aah you're right, I understand now what you're doing" I said in a pleased tone
"really? Glad it's like me, I was reborn with the help of Doctor Lee and Doctor Rachel so that I could look at the beautiful world again while holding hands to protect this world" Celline said, I looked back with a smile that insinuated Rachel back then, but Rachel seemed to see something when I turned to look at her. Rachel's eyes glared and as if shocked at something, I immediately turned to look at Celline
"But it's just a delusion, the reborn Celline was desperate" Celline said, then stuck out the scissors she had used to make the kirigami into her neck, spurting blood into the room.
His voice that from the beginning sounded cheerful and full of enthusiasm suddenly disappeared when he said his last sentence, his voice was soft and filled with fear.
"Yahoo!!!!!!" rachel's screams made the whole building hear
Everyone ran towards Celline's room. I immediately removed the scissors and confirmed Celline's life, but my hand shook too much at that moment. My brain and body were out of sync, I was pulled by someone as it moved away from Celline's corpse. After that I do not remember what happened, my memory is chaotic and can not remember clearly the events after that.
Several policemen were seen in front of me, I was not sure when I had been sitting in a counseling room facing two police officers like to ask for information on what had happened but I could not explain well at that time so that the Doctor Han asked the two policemen to leave me alone.In my head the shrill voice of Celline who said she was desperate and that the blood could not be lost like haunting me at all times.
