Emotion Taster
Arc 3 Sweet Stinged Acid Ant Format: Chapter 19 - Behind Suicide . 1
Today is spent thinking and thinking. I sometimes try to find some literature to look for all cases related to this case. Is death really a tenderness? Is suicide really allowed to shorten the pain? Is it true that healthy people are bad people when they force people to think positively about them?
I don't want to believe it, I don't want to be made to believe in Geza the lobster witch's ideology. So, all the thoughts and theories I put together to refute it. Logical reasons cannot be refuted with just feelings, then I also need to fight it with the same force.
Even so, I still want to make sure of something.
The bell has rung, time turns drowning the sun makes the sky yellowish. There of course I did not go home, the usual routine to go to the house of Pero with Amalia still continues today.
Some messages from Amalia were like asking for news to be received by my phone. But, for some personal reasons and convenience reasons, I did not answer it. Something I experienced might be too shocking and even make her emotionally driven to want to meet me as soon as possible. So, to calm down, I delayed the news.
Now I was standing in front of the gate, waiting for Amalia to come because she seemed to have a slower schedule. It doesn't matter, after all I myself do usually go home longer because of this power.
After waiting a few minutes for Amalia to arrive, she also ran after me as our eyes began to meet. At a distance far enough away, I could still feel the waves of emotions, sadness, worry, sweet acids accompanied by a cold sensation, they imprinted a little scratch on my skin and tongue.
“Amalia,” call me when the girl is approaching. “Before going to Pero's house, I want to ask you something.”
“...?”
The girl made a puzzled expression, her face that was a little tired from the small run changed quickly wanting to process the information.
“OK, sorry. I might be a tad. Should have been, I warmed up first before to run to the point.”
“...?”
Again another confused response, Amalia who initially tilted her head to the left turned it so tilted to the right. Her innocent look made me feel a little sorry to ask her a big question later.
“Alright, earlier ... is Pero here?” ask me to open the conversation.
“...”
Now he's not the same as me, Pero's home.
The answer is written in the notes.
“Are you sure that Pero does not see you from afar like you are looking after it from a safe distance so you are not aware?”
“...”
This time he was a little quiet and thought before writing. Although only for a moment he spent time, but it seems that he himself is not sure one hundred percent of what is in his mind.
I never knew she was out of the house alone. But, Pero's entry is already weak now. He can't go far.
The word Amalia is written a little long and with a smaller writing on the page of her notes.
I myself feel no problem if Pero hears my conversation. After all, he had the personality to pretend, wear a mask, and behave like an individual who did not know much. It doesn't matter, but I feel it.
He's like doing a lot of surveillance on me and Amalia even in times where we don't realize it. Sometimes he can know a lot of things, but sometimes he also pulls the hand to not interfere and let us solve the problem on our own.
He is like a teacher too, giving questions, letting his foster children have difficulties, with the aim of building a greater character. But, at the same time he has a protective character in Amalia, where he does not want the girl to get into big trouble that makes her tormented.
But, whatever it is, even if Pero is watching now and knows all our talk, he will pretend not to know.
“Hmn .. okay, if so go ahead,” I said switch topics. “I want to say if my question is serious, consider what I said was really the case. Do not let you just answer at a glance and think mature.”
“...”
“When I want to kill myself, what will you do?”
“...”
*****
Everyone has their own rights, laws like human rights have changed the way of life that sometimes becomes too liberal. Freedom is indeed a pleasure, rather than a stressful life, sometimes walking without weights is much more comfortable. But, it certainly cannot be like that, humans at least need to be regulated, all the rules of personal freedom will only be used if it does not intersect with the rights of others.
About taking a life is an offense or not, it's none of my business, it's not in my field either. The only thing I can answer and think about right now is what's in my head.
At ten in the middle of the night, I came to the same hospital as yesterday.
Unlike the previous opportunity, this time did not go inside. At first Geza and I didn't decide on a meeting place, I thought it would be the same in the isolation room yesterday. But, as soon as I reached the door of the hospital hall, the waiting figure of Geza was ready to block.
A little greeting I said, the boy also seemed happy to see my look. Immediately, the boy led me to another place. He said, we need a quiet and spacious place to talk about this magic thing. Both Amalia, Pero, and Geza, they all agree that magic is taboo to talk about.
While walking, he also gave a slight opening to the topic. Something that sounded as simple as the weather today, the condition of his body, and most importantly his plan of wanting to leave the city as soon as possible.
I don't reply much, just short answers like ‘iya’, ‘understand’, and ‘hmn ...’. After all, he also seemed not to be offended by it, even his attitude was now more positive because my own arrival had been interpreted as an answer ‘agua’ for his past offer.
*step
The final hard step is quite echoing, now our location is safe from the crowd based on location and time. This makes Geza the wizard boy stop his steps.
“Jadi ... Kaivan,” called him while turning around to the back. “Did you come here to join me? Or are you coming along as a hypocrite with the people out there?”
His expression was fickle, he had two expressions in one sentence. When he called and asked about the decision to agree with her, the umami savory taste of the delicious food appeared in the mouth. However, when he suspected that I would reject him, the taste suddenly became spicy full of anger like a chili in the eye.
I could feel ... feel her anger directed at one thing as she spoke.
“Previously, what happens if I accept ... and also refuse?”
“If you accept, that means you don't mind the way I do. You can share which magic I got by reciprocally helping me if anyone is against.”
Opposed?
I thought while squinting.
“What does that mean you will go to another region? Territory belongs to other animus?”
“Iya,” answered firmly. “Didn't I just say?”
“...”
Our distance was only about three meters. Although his body is small, but now I have completely stopped considering him a child.
