Emotion Taster

Arc 4 New Stage: Chapter 61 - Hugging To the End

I don't really hate kids. They were pure holy beings and wanted to know many things. Rather than being locked up with a group of adults, I would rather be stuck with a lot of small children.

Young children themselves are annoying actually just because they do not understand what is forbidden and what is not. If the way is right, they can be well regulated without producing any harm. The sadness of crying, trembling in fear, and the rage of anger, young children tend to reveal everything without any lies.

One plus from me is that it makes every wave of emotion from small children not stick inside. All this time, I saw them emit a clean wave of emotions, unlike adults filled with hypocrisy.

*Sniff, sniff, sniff ....

Then, exactly now. I felt like there was a child crying in my arms.

I didn't know that a grown woman could actually cry like this. I mean, things like this are pretty rare in my neighborhood. The mother at home was calm and tended to have a strong person, she was a worker and certainly had to prioritize her professionalism. Then, sister Dina is also the same, she is a strong figure and can protect the house without the help of parents.

Until now I don't understand the obvious reason why Amalia is crying. But, I can understand that his heart now has the same fragility as a child in general.

"Sorry, Kaivan. You must have thought that I was taking neurotoxins, right?"

Amalia pressed her face against my bedsheet, she just slightly tilted her face in the opposite direction to my head in order to form air circulation. But, in that moment I still felt her shakes and sobs that echoed into my body.

At this moment he might want to be defended. Saying that he's troublesome is a bad thing, at least that's what I think.

"Calm down" I said as I hugged his back with my free right hand. "All the girls were indeed nicotine," then I continued to say so for the sake of comforting.

"Umn, that doesn't calm me down," replied Amalia slightly pouting. "Aren't you if I don't take nicotine?"

"I'm sorry, I hate lies. You want me to lie now?"

"Any, aren't all men liars?"

"I don't know which man you're pointing at. At least I don't like lies if there's no clear purpose."

"..."

"..."

There was a pause in that conversation. Amalia was quiet, but there was no sign she would move. I was locked up in a state where I kept hugging and calming her down. A few seconds passed, and he finally spoke.

"My father."

"Hn?"

The girl muttered a little, saying the word father who is certainly in such circumstances can be heard clearly by me.

"What's your dad like?" I ask who wants to hear the continuation.

"My dad .. he's a liar."

"..."

I see, yes.

From that one sentence alone, I already understood that there was indeed something happening to this girl. All this time I hadn't noticed, the missions about witches and the chaos that had been thrown at me made me ignore Amalia's true feelings.

If I thought it was simpler. It was only natural that he had a problem, only that he could not reveal it. With the witch's obligations, she is required to solve the problems of others. But, for his own problems, until now I have not seen him get a savior. At his side there is only a raven demon that I think the demon that even needs to be taught a lot of things.

I waited again for the continuation of that sentence. But, it seemed that Amalia was frozen with a breath of tightness from her gentle cry.

"Why, Amalia? You don't tell me anymore?" tanyaku charges advanced.

"Would you like to hear?"

"I want to hear. But, I'm not forcing you to make up stories."

"..."

Silence again.

Amalia here doesn't seem so excited about telling her family. Of course, from the initial presentation, I did not feel that this was the thing that brought a positive impression.

"Hmn .. I'm confused about where to tell."

"Free, just tell me where. If it's not clear, I'll ask."

"But the story may be bosenin."

"I hear, I broke up is bosenin or not. Anyway, I'm sure it's not bosenin for you, is it?"

"..."

I've tried all my abilities to calm this girl down. My words may not be as gentle as others, but at least my wish was not to lie to get Amalia out of the weight of her mind.

Our position has not changed. Amalia was on top of me, we were on the bed, hugging tightly with the head just a few inches apart to the side. I looked up, put my hands on the girl's back that I thought would be soothing. Then, Amalia still did not raise her face, she was on her stomach and facing in the opposite direction to my head to talk and avoid the gaze.

"When I was a kid, I was always taught to be a good boy" said Amalia, who began to tell stories. "I was taught to be strong, I was taught not to cry much, I was taught to be silent, I was taught to hold my will, I was taught to do housework.

"..."

"That time I didn't know, I didn't know and I was just following my mother's will. I'm also there happy, no problem if for example I can continue to be with them."

"..."

Yeah, I think that's normal. My childhood was also an education where being a good person was always the main thing. My mischief is based on curiosity, breaking the rules back to the fact that I don't understand the reason behind the rules. There may be a sense of annoyance several times when there are differences of opinion with parents. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy living together.

"Caivan?"

Hn?

Suddenly Amalia stopped talking to me.

"What's wrong?"

"I've seen you before with your brother. Can I ask you that now?"

"Please."

"Hmn ... You, foster child?"

"..."

I have a little problem with that question. But, lately I have to admit and indeed nothing has changed from the revealed facts. I'm still the me now, the lies from my family don't cause me to be the outcast or anything like that.

"Yes, I'm a foster child" I said, closing my eyes.

"About that, did your parents tell you from the beginning?"

"Heh, your question is heavy too," I said a little hesitantly to answer.

"I'm sorry" and then replied with a humble remark from Amalia.

"No, it's okay" I said there who didn't want to spoil the atmosphere. "I just wanted to say it. But, yes, my parents never said anything about it. I know for myself that I'm not a real child."

"Hmn .. that is, yes," said the girl muttered as a sign of listening. "If so, can I ask you again?"

"Ask anything."

"..."

It happened a long time ago. But I had fooled myself that what I believed was a mistake. At that time, I may have been a child, thinking that I was a separate individual as if to haunt me if I was an adopted child. Some movies say that. However, after thinking more mature, I began to realize that there was actually nothing bad about the status of an adopted child.

"I was probably disappointed then. But now I don't care anymore. They also have their own minds."

"Hmn ...," returned the second murmur from Amalia who was listening. "Unfortunately I still can't do that, Kaivan."

"..."

The sad tone of the girl began to spread. The sobs of his tranquil breathing somehow turned into a heavier atmosphere.

"When I was a kid, my mom was sick. He's always been in the hospital and I don't know what he's sick of. My mom and dad said it wasn't a bad pain. Mom will recover if I'm a good boy and help her. But, in fact, not."

"..."

"I asked, did my mother die because I was not good? Is this all my fault? At that time I was a child and had thought that I was a bad boy so the mother left. My father never answered, he could just shut up and answer me with a smile if it wasn't my fault. But I still don't know the real reason. So, I can just guess, and tell myself to throw out all the mischief."

"..."

I can actually understand the story. Mistakes are in his parents. But, simultaneously I also can not blame, the old man just does not want to put a heavy burden on his son. They just say it like that so that the child is calm and eliminated from negative thoughts.

However, the opposite happened. Amalia there seems to be big enough to make her own decision. He, with all the knowledge given in error, made a hole in the heart.

"Then, it happened again, Kaivan. Two years down the road, and my dad's sick. At that time he said that he was okay, it was like that until he finally got into the hospital. I don't want to be left again, I don't want to be ignored anymore, so I did as much as possible to be a good boy. All the chores, all I can do, I do them all for daddy's sake to heal. But, it turns out that father was still lying. No matter how I become a good boy, I'm still dead."

"..."

"Stupid, yes. In fact, if he told me honestly he'd die, I shouldn't have to be in pain until I'm sure."

"..."

The grudge expressed by Amalia is more in a unique direction. I didn't see that he hated his parents, but I saw that he was upset because he believed the lie.

From there, I did not see a problem that could be solved. It's just about accepting the past.

"Calm down, Amalia" said I, who tried to calm the girl down. "I wouldn't lie like that."

"Lied."

Hn?

Just one sentence, and Amalia has cursed me as a liar.

"When did I lie?"

"Every time you go forward to fight a witch, vice me, you say you'll be fine."

"But until now I haven't died."

"That's not an answer. You've almost died a few times. Until now, I've felt that if you're going to disappear, you, you're going to leave me."

"..."

This concern .. is the same thing that Amalia has been saying since I got out of the hospital. I'm sorry I don't understand why they're so mad at me. But maybe now I understand it a little.

"Huft .. hah ..," my breath would like to receive the complaint. "I won't be lost, I'll be with you, Amalia."

"Really?"

"Yes, I wouldn't lie if there was no purpose" I said convincingly.

"Well, you said you wouldn't die. But you're already dying."

"Okay, I wouldn't die if I could, '" then I said, drawing my own faith.

"So, which one?"

"I'm not gonna lie. At least if I knew I was dying, I wouldn't be lying."

"..."

From then on, my conversation might not have been convincing. The direction of the topic became increasingly unclear, I myself was confused how I could complete the communication and improve this relationship.

"Kaivan," call Amalia once again who is beginning to calm down. "You never lied to me?"

"I never lie if there's no purpose."

"If so, when you say you want to squeeze my chest, it's not a lie?"

"Gkh!?"

I choked on my own breath, remembering that and making all the mental states in the atmosphere seriously crumble.

"Hah .. hh .. if I say that sentence is a lie, I am a lie now. Hmn .. yes, I am also actually a man here," I admit it.

"If so, would you do it now? Ah, but you've been squeezed before, yes. Do you want more now? I can love everything."

"Stop, Amalia. I'm not asking that of you right now."

"But you want to, right?"

"I didn't say I didn't want to. I just don't like being a toy like this."

"If I say I'm serious?"

"Go back and say it's time this is all over. I don't want you to be just controlled by your condition and strength until you're convinced."

"Huu .. liar," said Amalia slightly mocking in her gentle tone.

"..."

We were still frozen for a long time.

The sound of night insects, the moonlight in the mountains, and the quiet atmosphere of the cold wind. We both drowned hugging each other. Keep together without moving.

"Amalia," called me who was beginning to stir. "When do you think you're this? You have no intention of leaving?"

"Un, un."

Amalia shook her head, repeated clasps of sheets rang out in my adjacent ears, the silky tufts of hair also felt due to the distance our heads were next to each other.

"Wait a minute, I don't want you to look at my face right now. Wait till I'm gone, and then you forget everything that happened tonight. Maybe, the other one can't stand this."

"..."