Divorce Me!

The Part 19

After washing my face, then I put a little makeup, so that my face does not look too damp and shabby. After feeling my face was appropriate, I went out of the room and met Mas Amar who was still playing with my daughter.

Actually I was lazy to meet him with my situation like this, just that the mother had always been forcing.

"Go Sukma, meet Nak Amar for a moment! Not good with him, if you do not meet him, Nak mar is very good and his family has also helped us a lot!" mother said to me.

Helping me not feel good. I admit if it wasn't for the good of Ms. Romla, Mas Amar's mother, my life might have been this good.

Until I finally had to obey the wishes of mother, I was also surprised by the wishes of mother, I was also surprised since Fitri admitted himself as a father. Mas Amar so often come to this house to meet Fitri. All this time we met at the restaurant.

I massaged the base of my nose, my head immediately felt twitching now. Because seeing the many innate that Mas Amar brought for Fitri. Fitri's favorite toys and food, and there is also a paper bag that contains several pieces of beautiful dresses that he chose for Fitri.

Kuadui Mas Amar is very painstaking in dealing with children. Maybe because he is a very decent age to be a father.

Should be at his age now, Mas Amar should have had several children. But strangely, he actually felt at home widowed without any intention close to any woman. Except me.

"Mas, you don't need to bring a lot of stuff for Fitri, later he's spoiled!" my reproach. I took a sitting position at the exchange rate next to Mas Amar, and turned to him who was still busy playing with Fitri.

"Fitri is a smart kid, she's not spoiled either. Consider this a gift for her, because she's already an adorable girl." Answer Mas Amar casually.

Patently this man accompanied Fitri to play. As the saying goes, don't judge someone by their cover, like this man beside me.

During the close to him these few years, made me understand, that Mas Amar is a good and gentle man. There was not the slightest flaw in him, but why did his marriage run aground and only lasted for four months? Is that still a question mark on my mind?

"Mas, sorry. I don't mean to offend you, but you better not get too close to my daughter! I don't want Fitri to rely too much on you, and to dissolve into lies, for thinking of you as his father. After all, it's not nice to see a neighbor if you go home too often ..."

"Let's get married Sukma!"

My long words were only answered by him, with one line of successful sentences keeping me glued for a few seconds, then laughing.

Mas Amar frowned at me. "What are you laughing at, Sukma?"

I stopped my laughter, and turned towards Mas Amar who was looking at me seriously. "I know you're an unromantic guy even tending to be stiff, Mas. But not that, either, Mas. You take me to marry like you took me to the night market! You're really not funny this time, mas" I chuckled again.

Mas Amar seemed to take a long breath. Holding both of my arms and pulling my body face towards him. He looked at me sharply.

"I'm not kidding Sukma, let's get married!" said again. Seriously so.

"Do you want to marry me Sukma? We can build a happy and complete family. Even Fitri can call me a full-fledged father, with no one to forbid," the gentleman said. Very gently made a strange sigh in my heart.

I was still staring at Mas Amar stiffly, my heart started racing erratically. Mas Amar's words made me think of someone, who had also given me the promise of a happy family. But in the end, it was also the man who broke the promise.

Promise is promise, there is only me and disappointment in my heart. Should I accept it, I keep living like this with my solitude.

A flash of memory when Mas Ali insulted and dumped me, came back. I was scared when Mas Amar would do that to me. Making the pain I was so hard at dealing with open up again.

"Give me some time, Mom. I need time to think" I asked.

"Sure Sukma, I'll give you time! But please think carefully about my invitation. I love you both" he said with a disappointed look.

Mas Amar took his hand off me, he turned towards Fitri who was playing. Gently rubbed my little girl's head. "Fitri, you go home first. Tomorrow I come again, and play with Fitri!"

Fitri nodded and greeted him by kissing Mas Amar's hand. There was a sadness on Fitri's face when the man who was not his real father went home. Makes my heart unbearable.

I was still speechless as this white man left, I was only able to bite my lower lip while staring at his back. The tears that I had been able to endure had finally fallen back, deep in my heart, there was a desire to rebuild the household. But the fear and pain kept me in check.

With the flaws I have scaring me, everything will repeat itself. Mas Amar is still young, and has no children. I was afraid that one day he would regret and leave me only because he had no children. I'm really worried.

"Mother, why are you crying? Mommy don't want daddy pelgi? Bial Fitli call dad, huh, Mommy? Mother's bial doesn't cry anymore!" babble my little princess.

Fitri left her toy and ran towards me. Maybe he was confused to see me who suddenly cried when the man he called the father left.

I wiped my tears, looked at the smile on my lips while shaking my head. I kissed the soft forehead of my beautiful and funny beloved daughter. Her puffed cheeks made her face even more adorable.

If Mas Ali had a little bit of gratitude in his heart for what he already had, maybe even now our household is still fine. We can live three happily.

O Allah .. O Robb, give me your guidance. What decision should I make? For my life and soul are in your hands, O Allah.

"Allahumma inni as-aluka nafsan bika muthma-innah, tu'minu baliqo-ika wa tardho bi qodho-ika wataqna'u bi atho-ika.

{Yes Allah .. I ask You, a soul that feels calm to You that is sure to meet You, and feels enough with the gift of You} aamiin ya robbal Al-Amiin!