Considered Cheap Women

My name is Desnia

My name is Desnia, call me Nia I am from Bandung a beautiful city with a million memories. Here I will share my story, my story.

It started with me going to school at the Princess's dormitory, a place where it all started. I was a 12-year-old boy at the time. I am a girl who is not very smart to get along with, I try to be able to get along with my friends, but their response is like not like. The first 2 years of the dormitory was a very heavy thing for me. I tried desperately not to complain to my parents I didn't want to let them down.

In the year when I was in the dorm, everything improved I had many friends and also had a special person named Kamal. He's not handsome but there's something that makes him interesting, unfortunately he's not interested in me at all. Sad but I didn't give up until all my friends found out I liked him, and ended up whining them to Kamal. I don't know what she's feeling, and she's thinking, I just always try to love her sincerely. There was never a conversation between me and him, I was too embarrassed to just say hello to him. Until I finally found out that he liked one of my classmates. Back then, it felt like my heart was breaking I remember I was crying, I hated my friend I hated because I thought he took my Kamal. Either because he appreciated me as his friend, Audry never responded to anything Kamal did and in the end I knew it was just his mask in front of me.

A year goes by I'm 1SMA now. This year something happened to be the beginning of my suffering. At that time I and all my classmates held a holiday event in Lembang. I was so happy with the event, that at night we stayed in one of my friends' houses around 11pm there was a friend of mine named Diar. I don't know what demon was possessing him when he suddenly kissed my lips. Don't understand what's being done, though, I was definitely not a plain girl at the time I had heard my friends talking about their secret kisses but I did not expect because my firstkiss was even a person I did not expect.

The day the secret was kept closed I finally tried to turn my heart to Diar the man who had kissed me, my first kiss but I guess he wasn't interested in me at all and what he did that night was just lust? I'm devastated, it hurts. And when there were signs of Kamal approaching me I was glad not to play my patience to pay off, but I did not know why my love destiny was so bad. The news of my kiss quickly spread all my male friends thought I was low. I was bullied, all my friends away from me, including Kamal who I love. I cried every day no one cared about me, I decided to talk to my dad to change schools because I was not at home, but I made it up to him that I didn't know what was happening to me, so I try to be strong.

The day changed, the news began to evaporate but my friends' views on me remained like that "cheap girl" I try not to care that I promise myself not to care about what other people think of me.

Until things went back to normal, I got my friends back in my second year of High School I felt so happy. It was like I had everything, popularity, many and caring friends, and other good things came into my life at that time. Except Kamal, he I never had. Several times he changed partners, I kept waiting for him somehow I loved him so much whether reciprocated or not I remained happy.

One day in December, there was a classmate named Rian. He's handsome in my opinion, but not my type and he already has a girlfriend. Suddenly Ka Rian started a Facebook chat, I replied. I have been in intense contact with him for a long time. Rian's a good guy but I don't know if I can turn my back on Kamal. I was infatuated at the time, with a Kamal al-faqih. A man who never reciprocated my feelings.

Bandung, 2010.

I'm here at my desk with a glass of my own warm lemon tea. After cleaning up the office work that was quite draining my mind and energy. Again, I opened my diary which I had kept in the storehouse for a long time. For a moment, I just want to feel again a very sincere feeling in admiring and loving someone without expecting a reply from the person I care about.

I closed the old diary. Then I opened the photo album of my school used to look at our innocent faces who smiled happily because they could finally graduate, after such a long and heavy struggle we finally got through. And I'm not just going through an uphill battle to learn. I also went through a hard time in love. Haha love tragic monkey.

I took another sip of my lemon tea which was getting cold. The weather tonight is quite cold because it is in the rainy season. Suddenly someone knocked on the door

"Bun, has it done its job? I want to read a storybook, can I?"

"Eh, Dinda can dong darling. Coincidentally mother also has finished her work, yes yuuk to the room"