Chasing Dreams

Chapter 20

I was just an ordinary woman at the beginning, only able to dream of what was beautiful and perfect. But after a few moments that realize if I just keep quiet without any changes and actions in life, life will only run as usual and you still will not get anything. Like water that continues to flow but does not know when and where it will stop. After graduating from SMK I decided to find my identity and seek my own success, it turns out looking for this is not as easy as I imagined and sometimes not as we want it. There have been many things that I have been through until this second, there is only the imagination left from my process to this dream.

I am a small part of the successful people out there, maybe my stories like this are experienced by most successful people out there. There is no success without hard work and also a difficult process, if there is certainly not going to last long.

In the past after graduating SMK I really wanted to become a state servant in a military environment who wore a uniform with gallant, but as I once said not all wishes will be realized. It's true that not everything goes the way I want it to. When I saw a woman in that country, I was kind of obsessed and wanted to be like them without me thinking that I was never in the line to get there. Besides that I was tempted by the incentives they get every year and some other benefits, and I want to become a PNS like that for the welfare of the elderly later I thought. After I failed to register myself to become a servant of that country, I think I want to keep trying again and again. But after I thought again why don't I try to find another way, who knows there is a faster and easier way to succeed without having to be a state servant until finally I continue to think and I continue to rotate and look for other stepping stones in order to succeed even though not as I want. I kept fighting without knowing what would come my way up there, there was never any fear of going through the process first. All the difficult things I managed to pass well and in the end I remained a PNS even though not in the military and I managed to also become a small business hehe. It is true that everything that God has promised us will never miss even one thing. I am always grateful for all the blessings God has given me, yes although all the process is difficult and painful but the results are very satisfying as now.

I will tell you a little bit about bitterness and happiness before and after I succeed. When I was not successful and still in school I always suffered and envied seeing people have everything they want, but I used to be just a kid who didn't want to trouble both parents, and I just went through what was, not too forcing the will to be like everyone else. In the past my happiness was quite easy to feel, I was very happy to be able to sleep well, he said, eating with satisfaction and getting enough grades (because I think grades will be very influential later after I graduate school) but in real values are not always the main foundation for our success.

And now that it's been as successful and successful as it is now, I don't seem to have any more pain in me. Sebeb is now always happy in every moment, the burdens of his taste have disappeared also when we are successful. People say that success is everything. We can do whatever we want without anyone banning and preventing it anymore.

Although now I am only a PNS in a puskesmas and only an entrepreneur who according to me only has a few small businesses compared to other entrepreneurs who are more successful, he said, maybe I'm only a small part but I'm still happy and proud of myself. For I am successful without sacrificing others, and without falling down others. This is the real destiny of God.

Speaking of success and the process, I understand very well that all is difficult, change is difficult but we certainly get happiness after the difficulty. All of them have their share of each convinced and continue to fight.

All the pain I have been through starting from failing to become a state servant, repeatedly betrayed by a partner (at the time), changing places of work, and, until the end I decided to continue college and things you never imagined for sure, I got a lot of trials and college time starting from the ridicule of people, he said, the foolish elder brothers always sought trouble with me, treason from a friend, and until ever slandered with such cheap accusations, he said, haha yet it was all bitter memories that were able to make me a strong person from the person who had done it all towards me. Because there are no pisai eyes that are not sharp after many times in the sharpening, yes about like that is who I am. I don't falter easily with anything that deters all the way to my success.

Even though I used to be at the point of wanting to give up because of circumstances that never supported, until I ever wanted to end my life because in my opinion no one cared. But fortunately it was then that I realized my initial goal to decide to step to find this identity, he said, and finally it can make me stand up again even with the remains of a wound in the heart.

Now that I have become better than ever I have proven to myself that I can rise up in a slump from the sadness and chaos that has been in my mind for a long time. Now I have managed to stay strong, stay energetic, stay cheerful in everything and I have mastered myself. I can fight my ego and feel the desire to crush me. I had doubts about myself but over time I understood the true meaning of life. The waking up that I feel makes me very, very understand that this life continues to run and rotate, there are times when we are below and there are times when we are above, therefore remain patient, he was patient, sincere in living all of it. Realize that rain will not always come to earth as well as the scorching sun, all there is time and time to approach. For "me" remains la strong still la spirit you are a great woman and your prowess exceeds anything, that's what I said when I had a lot of difficulty in the ink process first.

Have you ever expressed a sense of being betrayed and slandered by a close friend? it hurts more than a breakup and hurts more than any other failure, as if the world is turning into complete darkness. And inside the head there's just the question "why should he do this?" yes this is life, even people we trust very much will turn to attack us if he feels cornered and feels that he is replaced, he said, when the real her after she did it was just like she killed herself. But it's okay thanks to his problems like this, I can understand that the humans we consider to be the same and one heart with us will also feel the same. When I broke this false string of brotherhood, I never wanted to know about him who betrayed me. He suddenly appeared and said, "hi, how are you?" as soon as I sat down and reread the incoming message, my heart just laughed at the message. It turned out that the person who used to hate me so much "he said" and the person who had ruined my reputation on campus suddenly came unexpectedly hahah, my heart said "where have you been all this time, when I was difficult and really needed help and hugs from you you even did something very fatal to me, what are you now? you wanted to be next to me after the long process I went through". I just read and saw the incoming message without sending a single reply, because I no longer want to repeat the same thing. We never know if he will enter again in our lives he will destroy us again as he once did.

Same thing as my ex-boyfriends who suddenly come back in my life after I was successful, when they used to dump me and prefer other women. And now that I'm successful why would they want to be with me. I acted the same way as my traitorous friend, ignoring them all. Let's just say arrogant or whatever it is, they never know what process I have passed until it can succeed until now.

Likewise with seniors who******* that, they came and pretended to be close to me when they used to be the ones who made me trouble. I just laugh at the behavior of those like this. I only talked about the things that happened to one of my close friends who I had told in this process, yes he who used to have small grades who cried in front of the class, he said, then our acquaintance accidentally and finally became a pair of friends, who now hingha remain together. Yes we lived both he was also successful as I became a PNS as well, and we slowly began to realize everything we made while in college first. Our lives were almost as difficult, and we ended up having this success.

What I said was true, I will always make everyone happy who makes me strong. Well, he's one of the people who made me strong, that's why he and I still communicate until now and even almost all of them we pass together.

Ahh akhir yang bahagia dengan segala kejutan yang ada dalam proses nya, aku bukan menjadi orang yang sombong terhadap mereka yang datang. Aku hanya membalas apa yang pernah mereka lakukan terhadapku dulu, itu saja tidak lebih. Sebab sesekali mereka harus tau siapa diri kita yang sebenarnya. Karena ini lah ada seseorang yang pernah berkata kepada ku, seburuk apa pun orang itu kita tak pernah tau akan nasib nya di kemudian hari. Semua orang pasti punya masa lalu dan juga pasti memiliki masa depan.

Never underestimate someone, maybe you will need it later.

Do not leave what is more valuable than what you want.

Don't get other people into trouble, maybe one day you'll need him to solve your problems.

Finally this fragile woman, and the woman who always craved many things in her dreams could also realize her with the hard work and toughness that she had. He was able to forget about someone who had hurt him - an ex-girlfriend or a friend who was a traitor, he was able to stand up again and try to set up his failed efforts. I was just a dreamer woman who never thought of reality as a pleasure, until I finally achieved success and happiness then I could think of reality as something fun. Huu is really tired not in achieving this dream? do not waste your time on unimportant things, step on anything that can make you weak, and keep defending whatever makes you strong, continue to live so that you can realize everything you want, and continue to burn fire so that you do not forget the direction.

Before I became as successful as I am now, there were a lot of bad things that I had to leave behind so that I could achieve all of this especially laziness, because laziness is the root of failure. There are no successful people who laze around, surely all successful people are busy improving themselves and act a lot when other people are relaxing, even their time to rest is just a little. Don't waste your youth, or you'll lose your cool in old age. Think about the things that can make you happy and calm in old age. In addition to being lazy, being too comfortable on something can also hinder us from success and it will only harm ourselves. Try to get out of the bad comfort zone so you can find happiness out there, sometimes we have to give up something so we get what we want.

It's true that what we get now is something we let go of in the past, if only I hadn't let go of all the bad things in the past maybe I would've been blown to pieces and would just be the scum of society.

Being a successful person also taught me many things in the process of self-maternity that we must defeat the ego that can be one source of destruction, must be humble despite heartache, he said, stay strong even if the storm is approaching, appreciate everyone who struggles together, and be able to rise from failure. Adult is not about age or how long you live in this world, adult is about us who understand all the problems that exist in the world and we can solve them well. Most people out there are still shallow thoughts, because they never go through a difficult life process. They can only judge others, but they never pay attention to themselves. People like this will never grow up before they feel the name of being sick and destroyed first.

The journey to the top is very tiring, full of struggle and hard work as well. Never be afraid to step up and start something new, show yourself who you really are, no need to be afraid to be considered different from most people because you are different from others and others cannot be you, too, even the best paintings in the world must have haters and critics so you don't have to be afraid to hate people.

Do not be afraid to fail, remember that failure is a process of forming yourself strong. If you want to get a good knife then it must be booked in a painful way. Similarly, if we want to be strong then it must be booked first so that it is not easily destroyed later.

Whatever is in you, just show it all to the universe. Don't just be quiet, because people won't know your abilities if you just keep quiet.

Why stay silent if you want to succeed? why stay silent if you want to win? why did you leave while you waited? sure all will come at his time, all will be beautiful at his time. Although we never know when it happens still try, for his time let God set all of it.

It's okay if a lot of people who humble you that's a sign that you will be a successful person, you will be successful, no matter you are left behind by people as long as you never leave your goals because you do not need people who just become obstacles to your success and you also do not need an audience to any likes or sorrows in each of your stories. Let it be those who continue to talk about and pay attention to you, but you still focus on learning and improving yourself from time to time so that you can surpass those who have considered you inferior.

There is a time when you turn back time, but all will not be able to. Time will go on no matter what comes and how you feel, he will keep going and give you new hope later.

A painful reality is better than a pleasant illusion, isn't it? When you sleep and dream well, don't you feel happy? you are happy, but it is an illusion. While when you open your eyes you have to accept the bitter fact that your life has not changed because you have not yet moved from your bed to start making steps and strategies to success.

If you continue to feel and get failures, sure that will come when later you will find your reason to continue to struggle and when you start to struggle, you will find your reason to continue to struggle, hold it tightly never let go because the opportunity never comes a second time. If there really is a chance to come 2 times then he really is the luckiest person who lives in this world.

When you are sad you do not need to show the world, it will only make you look weak. No need to pursue something special because happiness does not have to be with luxury.

There is no need to look good in front of people, but in reality you are just a bad person than others.

Never cover up your mistakes by lying, would it be better if we were ever wrong? because it can still be repaired. But if we have lied then lie 1 will be covered with other lies. Learn to be honest with yourself first, then you can be honest with others. Love yourself first so you can love others.

I am a person who is good at everything, keeps anger, keeps problems and tears. I never give up on anything if I fail to help or not, I can rise myself to be myself it is not easy it takes a lot of struggle and tremendous energy. If anyone asks me about the decision I made "will I regret it later?" my answer is "no", succeed or fail I will always be proud of the decisions I take and the results I will receive with chesty. We do not need the opinions of others to determine the course of our lives.

Success is in your own hands, not in the hands of others.

Keep excited to get what you are after, continue to shine when everyone starts to dim.

Keep running until you no longer need to look for what you want, continue to be low until no one can lower you.

Be a dreamer until the end of the dream comes true.