Chasing Dreams

Chapter 12

Happiness isn't always about a boyfriend, is it? having a loving and warm family is also a joy

having a friend who is like a family is more valuable than having a girlfriend who cannot be trusted. well, here I feel happy to know him and I began to realize that everyone who is missing in our lives will be replaced with someone new and maybe this new person better than to the person before. Before I chose the wrong friend and even plunged me, hopefully this time I did not choose the wrong again and hopefully he is a friend who will accompany me to success in the future and will go through difficult times together. I thank you when you chose me to be your best friend and I am grateful for your presence in my life.

I sat in front of the class and saw some people crying, I saw you sitting with your friend at the time but I didn't dare to greet you. I don't know you and you don't know me, I don't know what God had planned to do arrived one day when you posted your vacation with a friend and I ventured to ask the things that caught my attention at the time, I thought our conversation would end after that. But you became very caring and caring towards me, in my mind I was afraid to start a friendship and afraid to trust people again in this campus environment and I did not expect much from you at that time. It's true that he was the one I saw crying with some of his friends during yesterday's value sharing, to be honest when I saw you yesterday I wondered in my heart why your grades can be ugly when you try desperately in learning.

A meeting that was never expected but could be very memorable, at that time you are sad because suddenly away from your close friend who you take a vacation without knowing what reason he did like that, he said, and I still look sad as a result of the incident with that shameless fake friend. You are the one who dared to keep coming closer to me and ask me many things about why I was no longer close to that person (traitor), I just answered it is okay to just get bored, want to find a friend who is really a friend instead of looking for enemies hehe that is how I answered first.

The days go by, you who keep trying to restore my trust by continuing to care for me, it is true that you are a good person. And at that time I didn't expect much, I didn't want to have any close friends on campus anymore I just appreciated your concern.

Today is my birthday, I didn't expect you to give me words and prayers and surprises too. I thought you were playing around with what you said would give me a cake before my birthday, in my heart I never expected you to do this because we weren't close. Ever since that birthday celebration day we became close and familiar, you wanted to go to my house and stay there but I stayed with my fear of the traitor. I've always rejected you I've always had many reasons when you asked to be invited home, until finally I was also tired of your patience and I invite you to come home to my house and introduce you to my family even though you have introduced me to my family I still can not trust 100% of you. You quickly get along with my sister and so does my mother, it makes you look different from her (traitor), you care with my family, she said, for 2 nights you lived here it felt like everything in the house had adapted to you.

Sempai once at a time when my family held an aqiqah event for my 2 nieces that they are all familiar with you, whereas on that day we were fighting but my father instead told me to invite you to the event. I also have to be able to persuade you and lower my ego on that day until finally you want to take me there which is about 1 hour from my house, because the show was held at my brother's house in the village there. My parents said we would stay overnight and come home tomorrow morning, without thinking that morning we immediately took a shower and prepared2 to go there using the motorbike we used to use everyday. It feels like that day is gone all the trouble you have sitting behind me and we are enjoying every walk we take, with a cool stretch of mountains our hearts immediately changed at that moment and we started joking again on the bike and forgot the problem that was hitting us. Upon arrival at my brother's house we immediately rested and soon we went out to eat because lunch hour had arrived, after we finished eating we also rested again in the room hehe because there were many people who helped for the needs of the aqiqah, after we woke up that afternoon we only prepared flags and fragrances to be given to the invitees who attended later.ahh was a pretty tiring day, but it was fun too. After the event took place that night my parents suddenly said that tonight we will go home, we were surprised and finally we came home with my brother's car while my brother's motorcycle brought him home. You who on that day the first time I invited to gather in my family event immediately familiar with all of them, and all members of my family were very dear to you like you are a real member of our family. The day goes on and we get more and more familiar and you stay in this house more and more, it makes us and you become familiar with all the members of my family. Add one more family member, I said in my heart at the time.

Time passed until it was our time for UTS and you immediately cried in front of me and told me how hard it was for you to study last semester but still get bad grades, and I was just silent to see you say that I was trying to find a way and brainwashed so that you stopped crying and kept the spirit of learning at that time until in my heart was determined to help raise your bad grades that is, you stop crying when I say "don't cry anymore, we learn equally huh. I'll help you get good grades, we fight together huh" that's what I told him. And after a few hours we started to spend the study until midnight together in my room (in the dorm) until we finally got tired and slept together, this was the first time we studied together.

Time passed and continued to move forward, I slowly began to open up and he also told a lot about himself and his past as well. My days were slowly becoming cheerful again, but I only became cheerful in front of her not with anyone else. Because I believe in him alone, not in others. Slowly, the affection like family began to arise, he who from the beginning was close to me had loved me. Not that I was bragging but it was the fact that he really loved me from the very beginning we were close, whereas I had only been loving him for a few days.

Now that we started complaining to each other, caring for each other, I felt like I had a twin brother that wherever I was there would always be him, slowly I helped him improve his grades and taught him some things he didn't know, he was always open, he was always cheerful, he was always chatty about a lot of things I did. Come at UAS this semester, just like UTS yesterday he started crying again, started to be scared again and I tried to raise him up and get him excited again, and again it managed to make it a spirit of learning. Until the time of the division of value and it turns out the value is still small outside of him and I hope, at this point I am really sad to know this, it feels useless, it feels futile, I feel ashamed of myself. While my grades remain the same as always still quite satisfying, my feelings were mixed when I felt bad for him whose values did not match what we had done.

Our time for field service/practice arrived, we both have different classes it is very difficult to equalize the service schedule because we are serving in different places, with the limited time we had to meet at that time we still had good communication and even if only met while sleeping or even could not meet all day it felt like nothing had changed from us. At this time we completed all the reports perfectly, you who have just this time are very surprised by all the things that must be done and I can only help you a little I can not do much because my current position is just like you who distinguish we are just experience

We never know what will happen in the future, and sure enough this time is the 2nd time we get a division of the value of the semester. How happy you are to know that your value rises and becomes satisfying, as well as I who have unceasingly praised your hard work so far. It was the happiest day for us because what we wanted was true, it turned out that it was not in vain during this hard spell and our efforts, especially his spirit to change his value to be greater.

I hope he will never change even though someday he or I will have a girlfriend each, I hope we can remain as compact as now. And may whatever happens in front of him not abandon me and not slander me as it did in the past.

In the same year I had experienced quite alarming pain, there was a lump of some kind of tumor in my head that caused me to have frequent headaches, insomnia, and no appetite. Before I went to the doctor I thought I was okay, maybe just exhausted I thought in my heart, but when I had nosebleeds and I often had headaches I started to get suspicious. yes it is true that there is a tumor in my head that causes headaches that are so painful, I am checking myself without telling my parents because I am afraid to increase the burden of their minds. When I told you that there was a small tumor in my head, you immediately shed a tear and immediately hugged me and said "you'll be fine, you'll be cured" I was stressed when I found out that there was a tumor that just fell silent and cried while hugging you. And you said again "we'll both go through it and we'll go for treatment later" that's what you told me back then, do you remember?

Where I complain only to you, you know everything about my illness and you painstakingly take care of me and keep me from something terrible happening to me. I used to be unconscious for about an hour at midnight, you and a friend in the room (dormitory) willingly wait for me to wake up and willing to sleep all night for me. If in thought and told everything will never end I am grateful and indebted to you, when I was sick for about 3 months, you were very painstaking in reminding me to eat and take medicine. It feels like you are becoming my second mother after my birth mother, you who used to be willing to wait for me to sleep first then you sleep, you are willing to take care of me who is sick until midnight, you are willing to take care of me, and you're willing to accompany me and try to ease my pain when my head really hurts and I can't sleep. After 3 full months of taking medication and always eating regularly I finally recovered, although still under supervision and many restrictions for foods that should not be eaten.

Today is the last day I'm consul with my doctor, because the last time I rongent the tumor was no longer in my head I was happy at that time and could not wait to tell you this good news. And again you cried when I told you that I was cured and my tumor was declared gone this time happy crying you said, although I still have to take some vitamins and still need a lot of rest. For 3 months I was sick, only you knew and there was only you taking care of everything. I'm so grateful that God sent you for me, and I would never have recovered as I do now if you hadn't been painstaking in taking care of me that time.

As soon as I thought again, what if he wasn't in my life? whether I can recover like now, whether I can encourage myself. The answer is, surely I will not be able to sustain this alone, if there is no he will not have my spirit to heal, if there is no him maybe I often forget to take medicine, he said, if there was no him maybe I wouldn't have eaten on time, if there wasn't him my break would have been very lacking and if there wasn't him maybe I'd have lost to the disease, maybe I'm healed now because you want me to heal not because I'm completely healed.

Thank you for your time so far, thank you for always being there, thank you for taking your time to take care of me, thank you for everything you've done, thank you for being a friend, friend, sister, thank you for being, brother, enemy, mother, and you are everything to me. I'm sorry if I'm so selfish towards you, I'm sorry to bother you so much, I'm sorry for all the trouble you've been through because of me. I hope this brotherhood and friendship will go a long way I want to spend a lot of time with you, I want us to be successful together later, I want to make all the things that we have planned together.

May God give me plenty of time to make my loved ones proud of me, including you, I want you to be proud to have a friend like me. But if in the future I can't live longer with you, especially you, I hope you can take it hard because the doctor said the tumor is gone, but at times it can come back and may be worse than this. May your prayer for my healing be granted by God.

After recovering from the tumor, again we get an exam. At that time I drove you home to the dormitory and on the way home I accidentally fell due to rain and slippery roads and hit my head quite hard on the asphalt that night. I who at that time considered this normal with his leisure back home but after a week passed I suddenly fainted unconscious and when I woke up I did not remember anything other than 2015, he said, even I don't remember you, you hear that I don't remember you crying right away, you think I'll heal after a few hours but unfortunately I won't heal, you're confused about what to do. Finally you drove me home and told my parents that while on campus I passed out unconscious and then I lost my memory. When I forget this is quite long that 2 days you take me to the hospital where I worked first, it's true that all the contents of the hospital were hysterical to see my condition like this. I don't recognize them, though, at that time I was consul with one of the doctors who was there and you accompanied me at that time which in the end the doctor prescribed tranquilizers and gave me permission surah so that I would rest at home for a while 3 day. As long as I am given permission to rest, you always come to my house and try to remind me of our memories when we were together, but I still don't remember you and I assume all your talk is just a joke because I feel we're not as close as you're talking about. After taking the drug regularly Finally on the 3rd day I slowly remember about you even though I do not remember about us. As I slowly remembered you were pretending to be angry and saying to me "as long as you forget the memory I'm not excited to do anything, the bath forget to use soap, no appetite, no appetite, and I didn't sleep well" and I just said "sorry me" but now I remember so don't be sad anymore. And you immediately hugged me saying "don't forget me again and from now on you have to be careful with your actions so that nothing happens again".

As for the traitor, knowing I forgot his memories seemed to mock me and as if I could not believe that I had completely forgotten the memories. Maybe for some people it's just a lie, but it's really happening to me. I don't know what the real cause is until I can lose memories like this.

One thing you should know is that I love you as much as myself, you are valuable to me, you are very good, and we have a lot of things that we have gone through together starting from value improvement for you, he said, when I'm sick, and when I lose my memory, until all the unimportant things we've been through. Hope you don't forget all this later.

We plan to succeed, we plan to work together, wander together, even you want us to have a house next to each other you say let's not be lonely and we stay close. When I'm with you I become a silly, sometimes annoying person but with you I learn that not everything beautiful will be beautiful in the end. Always trying without words tired is a difficult thing but it makes us know that there is no instant success all need to process with all the difficulties in it. From you I learned that each process will never betray or deceive the results, from you I learned patience to get what we want to achieve, from you I learned that sincerity is able to knock out a strong ego, from you I learned to appreciate every thing that happened either hard or happy.

Thank you for being a part of my life, I know that we are not together forever, I just hope that you will never forget us, I hope you will tell your son that you have a friend like me, even though I may no longer exist in this world with you, I hope you live your life well. Thank you for taking care of me when I was sick, from you I learned simplicity.

There is no need to pursue something more because you will look low if you continue like that. Remember, a perfect thing doesn't have to be more. Sincerity will melt everything, sincerity will show who is good and who is bad.

May we be able to realize all that we dream of and may I have plenty of time to be with you.

Stay excited about whatever happens, I love you.