A Wife's Heart

CHAPTER 68

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Oh my God, is this a dream? If true, please let it be temporary like this. I still want to look at the face of the man who has inflicted a wound on my heart, but I miss it so much.

Lira was still standing glued in front of Reza. He misses the man who is now real standing before him. However, the pain and disappointment was so great. Lira's tears just flowed without being asked. In fact, Lira has tried hard to hold back her tears from spilling, because she does not want to look fragile.

While Beautiful chose to enter his room. He deliberately gives space and opportunity for Reza and Lira to solve the household problems they are facing. Lovely believe, Lira can definitely solve her problems wisely. It's also beautiful not to forbid if the Lira would have voted back to Reza.

Reza walked slowly, trying to approach and hug Lira. However, Lira quickly retreated to avoid the hands of Reza who wanted to hug her. Not to refuse, it's just that Lira still feels traumatized by what Reza once said to her. Reza once told Lira not to approach him, citing fear of getting a virus disease transmitted by Lira, the poor woman. The lira never forgets that.

"Don't go near sir. I-I'm dirty and stinky, later you can get sick." Reject Lira

I swear to what, Reza felt a lot of pain in her heart. The words he once said to his wife, now seem to turn to him. Reza again remembered his old attitude that once called the Lira as a source of disease only because the Lira was poor and came from the village.

"Please don't talk like that. I'm sorry, Ra." Reza's voice sounded hoarse.

"I have forgiven you." Lira answered without daring to look at Reza's reddened face, not because of holding back anger, but now Reza is trying to hold back her tears.

Reza's face immediately looks happy because Lira has forgiven him. That means, Lira doesn't hold a grudge against him. Thought Reza.

"You want to come with me home? Mom and dad are waiting for you at home." Reza asked deliberately dragging the name of her parents. Reza knows that Lira has great respect for her father-in-law who has been very kind and dear to her.

"Sorry sir, I can't. I have forgiven all of your mistakes, but my pain and disappointment is immense. And please don't make me an ungodly wife for refusing to ask you to come home, because I need time to be able to understand all this. I was afraid of going the wrong step and would fall back to the same abyss of disappointment as I used to."

"Sorry, Ra. I've made you suffer. But I promise, I'll make you and our son happy." Please Reza with a sad face.

"Please don't force me, sir. I really need time. Let me be like this, until the time comes when my heart has found the answer."

Reza was silent, not knowing what else to say. It was true what Lira said, he still needed time. However, Reza does not want to give up just like that. Reza has gone a long way, so he has to continue to the goal. He didn't want to stop on the road and make her regret later.

"But I can, can't you, look at our son whenever I want?" Ask Reza expectantly.

"By, sir. I won't forbid you to meet him." Lira still feels awkward to mention our son's word.

"Thank you, Ra. Thank you for being willing to forgive all my mistakes." Reza said happily. Reza is very grateful, at least Lira did not forbid him to meet her son.

Lira only replied to him with a thin smile that was barely noticeable. Honestly, Lira still feels hurt, if you remember how Reza refused and insulted her child who was still in her womb. However, Lira does not want to continue living in disappointment and drowning in heartache which will only cause resentment and hate in her heart.

tok....

"Assalamu'alaykum." Greet one of the neighbors of the Lira.

Spontaneously, Lira and Reza turned towards the door simultaneously.

"Wa'alaykumussalam". Reply to Lira while opening the door. "Eh mother, come on please come in?" Said Lira to her neighbor.

"No, Mom not long. I just brought this for your son." He answered while thrusting a black plastic bag on the Lira.

"That's my grandson's old clothes that don't make anymore. But it's still good, Ra." Reply to the mother.

"Oh, thank you very much ma'am. Adek Inas must be very seneng."

"Yes alike. Yes, mommy said yes. Assalamu'alaykum."

"Yes ma'am, wa'alaykumussalam."

Lira immediately closed the door of her house and opened the plastic bag. Seen there are several pieces of used clothes that do look still worth wearing. In fact, some of them look like new.

Reza saw it was certainly getting hurt. During this time it turns out his son was wearing used clothes given by neighbors Lira. Although the shirt looks still decent, but still feel humiliated when knowing the facts about his son's life.

"During this time Inas wore old clothes, Ra?" Reza asked as Lira was heading for the kitchen.

"Yes, sir." Answer Lira casually while putting the clothes given by her neighbor earlier into a bucket of dirty pakaina to be washed later.

Reza was silent, unable to answer. After all, it all happened because of his mistake that had abandoned his son and wife.

Reza immediately turned to his son who had been busy playing with his toys made from used bottles. Inas continued to beat the old bottle to the floor until it made a loud enough sound. Hearing that sound, Inas actually laughed even more loudly, until his saliva also dripped onto the floor. Sometimes his saliva falls dripping onto his toy bottle.

It felt like Reza was crying to see her son who was so suffering, living in limitations. Inas doesn't even have toys that are as decent as girls his age.

Reza approached Inas, trying to bring the tiny body of the toddler into his arms. However, Reza had not been able to hold him, Inas immediately screamed hysterically and cried in fear until his face turned red.

"Daddy, this is papa baby. Papa kangen same grandpa." Reza said still trying to get close to his son who continued to avoid him while screaming in fear when he saw it.

Lira immediately carried Inas' tiny body and hugged him affectionately. Lira tried to calm Inas who still continued to cry in fear. Even Inas wouldn't let go of his embrace of Lira.

"Sstttt, cup.cup, unfortunately mother, calm down. Don't be afraid, there's a mother here." Said Lira while gently rubbing the back of Inas who was still crying as hard.

Reza also cried when he saw his son crying in fear because of him. It hurt so much when her son refused to be close to her.

"O Allah, is this my reward for never wanting to be present in the world? But why does it feel like it could be this sick? Is this the pain Lira used to feel?" Inner Reza.

"Sorry sir, it's not my intention to expel master, but please leave here."

"But I still want to be close to our son, Ra." Reza said with a sad face, not far from his son.

"Yes, sir, I understand. You can still see Inas, but not now."

"alright. I'm going to leave now. But tomorrow I'll come here again."

Reza left Lira's house with a huge disappointment because he could not get close and play with his son who had longed for.

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