A Bunch of Horror Stories

episode 77 ( schizophrenia )

The world and I are two realities that never understand each other. Even though I asked myself a thousand times, I could never answer why I should live in the world. I never understood why I was born. I believe in God's wisdom, but I don't understand why I'm different from others. This difference seems to be a question mark in my life that always haunts the mind. Why am I of billions of other people? Am I special or am I weird?

My name is Damian, I'm still 18 years old. Right now I'm lying weakly in a hospital somewhere. I was so disappointed that death failed to pick me up. It turns out that everything in the world still exists, including him and me. I'm not afraid of death like most people, I want to see him as soon as possible, but every time I try, it's failure that I've achieved as it is today. Do you know why I hate life so much? Because he always assures me that life is useless. He was the one who told me to kill myself from the beginning until this very moment where I believed him. But I never managed to carry out his desire which is now also my desire.

It all started that day. A week after my mother's death.

I heard screams and boisterous whispers that kept calling me to wake up. It's weird because no one's ever woken me up. The voice I heard was not the voice of my father, not the voice of anyone I knew. I still close my eyes because I am not sure if my soul is between the subconscious or is already in the real world. But the voice kept calling out to me and it was getting clearer and louder. When I tried to open my eyelids, my vision was not so clear or even blurry, but I still clearly heard the voices calling me and I did not see a single person. I don't know where the sound came from if it wasn't from someone.

I still hear the voice of the call that is getting louder and louder. I looked around my room and I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but I was sure I wasn't dreaming. The clock on the wall right in front of me is different. The clock that usually hangs sweet on the wall does not show the time but shows its true form. Red eyes, bloodied nose, sharp fangs, and wrinkled hands with long nails trying to grab me. That's what I saw on a - which I can now tell you is a wall clock hanging on the wall of my room. I woke up and rushed to the door in a panic. But when I held the doorknob to open it, eyes with white eyeballs and mouth with a very long tongue appeared. The door seemed to say that I could not get out of the room. I don't care what happens next, I break the door without thinking. But as I tried, the tongue of the door's mouth wrapped around my hand with its long tongue. I could not utter a single word because the overwhelming fear made the world seem to be spinning.

—

“Damian, damiannn!” Call daddy wake me up.

“What happened pa?” I was surprised to see my father in front of me.

“You are trying to sleep in front of the door!” Jerk my father.

“Loh? How am I here?” I wondered at my father and myself. I was silent for a moment thinking about the last thing that caused me to lie asleep at the door. All I remember is a clock and a door with a very creepy form. I immediately saw the wall clock and the door of my room, but nothing strange, everything was as usual, normal. I really remember the events of the door and the clock that turned out to be very... Is what happened just a dream or is it reality? But if it's just a dream, why would I lie in front of the door?

“Heh, even dumb! I've eaten first, I've prepared breakfast for you.” Ketus my father and then he went out of my room to the dining table.

I'm not sure if that happened or not. It was between the subconscious of my dreams and reality. But I don't really care, maybe it's just a weird dream I just had. I rushed out of the room and went downstairs to have breakfast. My father was waiting to eat together. I live alone with my father. I have one older brother but since this one year, he's gone somewhere. His behavior was very bad, so my brother and father had a big fight until finally my father kicked my brother out of the house and since then, I have never heard from him again. As for my mother, she just passed away a week ago because of my stupidity.

It was ridiculous, because it was all me. On that night, I was having a small motorcycle race with a group of friends in the ninja motorcycle community. Because the speed was so high and I couldn't control it I had a minor accident because I hit a sidewalk and fell off the bike I was riding. I couldn't get up because my leg was broken, but my friends weren't there, nobody saw me there, nobody. And stupidly, I even contacted my mother through the phone in my jacket pocket at that time. I told him I had a minor accident and my leg was broken but there was no one around here I could ask for his help. I told mom not to tell dad about this. After a long time, I waited for the help of my mother who never came, at first I thought maybe he would not help me because I was a very stupid child. But I just found out why my mother did not come to my aid no matter how long I waited the next day after I finally got help that night and was immediately rushed to the nearest hospital. After I returned from the hospital, I did not find my mother and could never see her again.

It turned out that when he was heading to where I was last night, he had a fatal accident. My mother was obviously very panicked and went straight to drive her Audi R8 quietly without my father's knowledge. Maybe because of panic and rush, he could not control the car he drove well. He hit a truck in a high speed and in a state of not wearing a seat belt. The car he was driving in was not formed, just like his body.

Knowing that, made me very bad. Such a huge regret slapped me right in the face with her very tightness. I'm so stupid, so stupid! I'm a bad boy! I deeply regret what I did. If I could repeat time again, I would not waste the figure of a mother who loves me so much. Regrets will always come last, after we make a mistake, then do not make the mistake again because if we do it again, we must be prepared to face regret. But I can't do anything anymore because everything has happened. I also can not continue to fall into blame myself, because it has been the story of my family's life made like this.

Never mind, don't remember things that only cause pressure, I thought for a moment. I now sit alone with my father eating breakfast with me. Honestly, I wasn't very close to him because he was very thin, stubborn and cold towards his son. But after my mother left, my father changed his coldness. He seems to replace the role of a mother while being a responsible father.

“Damian! Eat dong.” Father's heart to me. I also started eating the breakfast that was provided.

DUK DUK'S.

“Loh what sound is dad?” I was surprised when I heard a voice that suddenly sounded so loud like a person banging on a wall.

“What sound? Father didn't hear any sound.” Reply my father did not understand the voice I meant. I was silent, thinking where the voice came from. Did I hear wrong? Without much thought, I continued to eat my dishes.

DUK DUK BRAK BRAK.

“LOH?” My heart reflexes to hear a loud noise like I had heard before. What is that sound? Why does it appear every time I eat a meal? My father looked at me in surprise but did not care much about what I was talking about in my heart. I was the only one listening to those voices, and Dad didn't hear them. I was disturbed but did not pay much attention to the sound but the sound did not stop every time I was eating my food. That very boisterous voice that out of nowhere came very much bothered me and I ended up not spending the breakfast that dad had served me.

As usual, I immediately went to school driving a new Mercedes Benz SLK250 car a month given by Dad as a gift when I was 17 years old when I was legal enough to get a driving permit. It's the last semester I'm going to graduate from High School 2 and move up to High School 3rd grade. I could be said to be a pretty famous kid in the school environment. I have a lot of friends and the whole school knows me, and I don't even know any of them. I don't know what my real friends are and which friends are just using me because of the possessions I have. But I don't really care, because the important thing is that I have a lot of friends.

When I got to school, as usual, the girlfriends I knew or didn't all yelled to welcome me. It's a tradition every day that my friends and I from my friendship group are welcomed like that. I don't know what they all think when they get there, they respect me and my friends a lot. I saw Alex, Ivan, and William who had arrived at school.

“Damian!” Greet Alex, Ivan and Damian call me.

I turned my head and waved to those who were gathered at the end of the school building while I was a good distance away. I walked over to them, but I saw a person I did not recognize, standing right behind them. It's weird, is that the new guy in our alley? Because no one has ever dared to interfere into being part of our alley. I was getting more and more into the middle but when I approached my group of friends, I did not see the figure of the person.

“Loh? Which person was it?” I asked my friends directly.

“Whose person?” Ask William.

“Tadi here, behind you on!” Reply with a slightly panicked tone.

“Ga who is who, just the three of us doang kok from here.” Answer Alex.

“Party who's trying to brave the same pretentious we are not?” Added Ivan.

“Yes too anyway, I guess the new boy who wants to enter our alley.” Ketusku, because that's what I think when I see it.

“No, only the four of us who deserve to be in this alley.” Reply Alex.

“Maybe wrong time lo!” William assured me that I saw it wrong.

Today's school is the same as the days before, there is nothing different except the figure of the person I saw this morning. I rushed into the car to go straight home. But on the way home, I heard a strange noise that came from nowhere.

Hurry along! The gas is full! Hey, crash yourself into that front truck! No, just crash into that big tree! Whatever is important your collision!

“AAHHH!” I immediately stepped on the brakes and shouted while hitting my head very tight, fortunately there was no car behind me. Whose voice just now? I heard three whispers at once telling me to crash myself. The sound was like the sound of a clock and a door that I heard waking me up. I don't understand why that voice spoke to me. I tried to calm down for a moment and continued my journey home.

The time was 12:00 and I was still awake because the sound was still bothering me.

Hey DAMIAN, follow my orders! Kill yourself! Jump out of your bedroom window. Hurry now! And no one is looking!

I tried to ignore the voice, but the voice kept haunting me, never stopping talking to me. I kept my eyes closed and tried to sleep, but I immediately remembered the clock on the wall and the door. I opened my eyes slowly and saw the wall clock right in front of me. I saw him again!

Tik Tok Tik Tok Tik Tok.

The clock struck me with the sound of a clock ticking so loud as a bomb blast. I closed my ears, closed my eyes and cried hysterically because I could not bear all the strange things that haunted me.

“Damian hey! What the hell are you?” Shouted my father while holding me for hearing my hysteria. I kept my eyes closed and shouted hysterically but for a moment all the sounds disappeared in an instant. I opened my eyes slowly and looked at my father's face. Dad seemed surprised by what happened to me, and I didn't want him to worry. Dad is the only family I have.

“No papa kok well, just a nightmare.” Answer me with a smile.

—

“Daddy, what time is it?” Manya make sure.

“Jam 11 years. Wh why? Reply father.

“Jam 11 night or day huh yah?”

“Obviously yan! You just woke up, see the sun again scorching at this time of the malem time!”

I woke up at 11:00 noon where the sun should be radiating its rays with heat. But I did not see a single speck of light shining on the earth. I asked my father to make sure that it was noon and also asked Alex, Ivan and William who had the same answer, which is “Jam 11 noon!” I don't understand why the day I usually see light like everyone else is dark like the night I see. I looked around my window, and all I saw was darkness running through the streets around my housing complex.

“Damian! Heh why you?” Disturb dad for a moment I'm looking at a dark day.

“Eh no papa yah.” Reply with a smile.

“Oh yes, you lock the door. Papa happens to have a task to meet people.”

“Alright well, be careful.” I also saw my father leaving on duty leaving me alone when I needed a friend. I rushed to get ready to go find a friend during this dark day. I locked the door, and drove my favorite SLK250 to Alex's house, which was as complex as mine. I turned on the car lights to explain the road because all I saw was the street of darkness without any light. But as I walked, over time the light of my car lights faded and eventually extinguished. I couldn't see anything because everything was dark without any light, like a blind man.

Damians. You can't see anything. Just die you! I told you to follow my orders! The world would be better off without you! What is the purpose of your life? No one needs you, Damian. You are just someone useless like trash! Get rid of you Damian!

I heard that voice again and I accidentally stepped on the gas of the car because of the fear that was so overwhelming and I could not see anything. I couldn't move because I was so panicked and scared. In an instant, suddenly a light so bright emanated that I could see again that this afternoon was very bright. But in the second I saw the afternoon return as usual, I was driving my car which was traveling at a speed that reached 140km/the clock was in my house and I saw a woman dressed in a white dress with long hair suddenly sitting right in front of me. My intention immediately stepped on the brake but I did not think stupidly I stepped on the gas and the speed of my car even increased and directly hit the woman.

CIIIITS. I immediately braked so suddenly after hitting the woman and rushed out of the car to help her. The collision was really strong because I felt my car hit his body. I meant to take responsibility for the woman but after I got out of the car, I didn't see the figure of the woman I just hit. There was no blood, no screams, no one but the empty streets. I'm sure I hit him really hard! I saw him and I felt that I did hit him! Without thinking, I immediately ran into my car again.

“Your collision doesn't hurt.” Say a woman who was in my car. She wears a long white dress with lace and also long black hair. The white dress she was wearing was covered in red blood. His face was wrinkled and very white. His eyes were only one on the right, while the left eye was being held in his right hand. His mouth ripped open the bones around his teeth. His left hand was broken so that his skin and flesh were also separated, and he placed it on his lap. Her body was covered with blood because she was that woman. The old woman I just hit!

My whole body trembled nonstop, I felt like I could not move my legs to walk and also my mouth to scream. You should be like that Damian! Look at what you fools are doing! You're gonna die like that! Don't you feel guilty? The right reply is just to make yourself die like him. The voice spoke to me again at a time like this! I still looked at the old woman and she laughed and smiled. In an instant I saw him flying up there but could still hear his laughter.

Sunday, January 8, 2013, Burn yourself! Light that fire! Let the red male blaze all over your body quickly! You deserve to be ashes because you're a dud Damian!

Monday, January 9, 2013, take that rope Damian, that's there. Tie that rope around your neck and hang yourself! You don't deserve to be in this world! Hang yourself Damian!

Tuesday, January 10, 2013, Take Damian's knife! Tomorrow your wrist! You'll enjoy the pain. You're useless to the world, what are you living for?

Wednesday, January 12th, 2013, sink yourself in that time! Hurry up now, but no one's looking at you! You'll be a bag of that water! No one needs you Damian.

Thursday, January 13, 2013, follow me Damian. Look at the view up here so beautiful isn't it? Look at you, do you deserve to be in this beautiful world? Want to hear a good idea? Jump out of this building! As long as you can see the beauty of the world that will be better off without you one last time. The world would be perfect without you. You're useless! You are lower than the trash that is thrown away! See only I am faithful to accompany this useless creature. Will you come with me? Come on Damian come with me. Jump from up here!

The night wind blows fiercely against the skin layer of every human who feels even though the moon appears perfectly round even though bright stars brightly decorate the night. The beautiful scenery that adorned the night made me realize. The voice that had always accompanied me was right. I am indeed a useless creature that does not deserve to step on this earth. This time I will say yes to this voice. Words are a little crazy but this is it. Goodbye, father, I will meet my mother and for a world I never understood, goodbye.

Damian was born as a normal boy who lived his life like an ordinary boy. Until finally a strange sound appears in Damian's mind. The voice was not only strange but also evil. The voice always told Damian to commit suicide in various ways. The voice never stops haunting Damian's mind every time, maybe even every second. Damian looks weird, gets moody and never goes to school. He also never received treatment because his father never knew Damian was depressed. Sometimes he could no longer afford it and in the end tried to do what the voice ordered on Friday night, January 13, 2013 to jump off a tall building roof. From there at least his father ran Damian to the hospital and to find out the cause of Damian's suicide. Fortunately his suicide attempt failed and in the end, his father learned that Damian was suffering from a mental disorder. At least after that the voices had a name, SCHIZOPHRENIA.