Wisdom of Our Love

CH 63

"Raynan, Forgive Daddy who has never known where you are, Daddy hopes that one day you can forgive and accept your useless Daddy. Daddy regrets not being able to find your mommy, if Daddy could find your mommy sooner, we wouldn't be separated like this, sorry Daddy dear! forgive Daddy," said Ray sobbing holding Raynan's tiny hand still lying down.

While he was sobbing all of a sudden, Ray felt the touch of a tiny hand wiping his tears.

"Raynan, since when did you realize dear?" ray asked in panic because he had accidentally told Raynan about himself. Ray does not want to be honest and admit the truth, it's just that Ray and Bela agreed to keep all this from Raynan to maintain Raynan's condition.

"Is my Om Ray Daddy right? if it's my Ray Daddy, then what about Daddy Riza?" Raynan looked at Ray.

"Raynan, I'm sorry about Ray. It makes you confused, baby. Don't think about what Om says yes! the most important thing now is Raynan must heal quickly," said Ray grasping Raynan's tiny hand.

"Actually yesterday, I also heard Mommy talking to auntie and Om who came yesterday, it's just. Raynan does not want mommy sad if Raynan asks this same mommy," said Raynan who seemed to begin to understand the actual condition.

Clamps..

Door opens.

"Ray, are you here?" ask Bela.

"Raynan. Have you woken up, son? sorry, mommy came out for a while because mommy thought Raynan was asleep," said Bela kissed Raynan on the forehead.

"Yes mom, Raynan is with Daddy" said Raynan.

"Daddy? Mean Raynan? Daddy who? Daddy's not here?" ask Bela to look around.

"Mom, Raynan you know, Om Ray is also my Daddy, right? although Raynan does not understand why Raynan has two Daddy, but Raynan is happy, has two Daddy," said Raynan smiled and looked at Ray

Hearing Raynan so thoughtful and willing to call him Daddy, Ray's heart felt so hurt and guilty. How could he not know about the whereabouts of his son.

"I'm sorry Daddy, honey. Sorry Daddy! Forgive Daddy who never knew where you were, forgive Daddy!" ray's cry broke and kissed Raynan's tiny hand.

"Daddy don't cry" said Raynan wiping Ray's tears.

"Daddy is wrong baby! Daddy's wrong, I'm sorry Daddy!" ray's crying got sobbing.

Bela who saw it was not able to hold back tears, Now Bela realized, what he did not only made himself suffer but also Ray and Raynan.

Intentions want to make Miss Santi and Ray happy with his departure, but who would have thought that exactly what was done only made a new wound for a child who did not understand anything.

"Raynan, forgive mommy too son! mommy's guilty, Mommy separated you two, forgive mommy baby!" bela said sobbing.

"Mommy, Daddy. Don't cry!" raynan looks at Ray and Bela in turn.

Raynan may not be so understanding of the current situation, but Raynan feels her love and sincere feelings from Mommy and Daddy.

After Raynan falls asleep, Ray invites Bela to talk outside.

Both of them sat on hospital park benches.

"I'm sorry" said Bela briefly.

"What's the only excuse you want to say after five years of leaving, even hiding our son?" ask Ray.

"I'm sorry Ray!" bela replied sobbing.

"I've often heard you say sorry, Bela." said Ray flatly.

"I admit, I was wrong. I sinned against you and Raynan. But I went also for your good Ray," said Bela sobbing.

"Killness? what kind of kindness are you currently talking about?" said Ray.

"Ray, you know what? Seeing me will only make Mami suffer because considering the cause of Papi's death, I don't want to make Mami suffer, nor can I see you always have the dilemma of choosing between defending me or Mami," said Bela.

"Bel, how many times have I said! just look at me, just listen to me! that's all I ask of you, from the beginning we know Mami can't accept you, but that doesn't mean, you can just go away leaving a wound in my heart like this. Moreover, knowing the whereabouts of Raynan, my heartache Bel, pain because I feel guilty never existed for my son, pain because it turns out I am a husband and father who are very useless," ray held back emotions.

"Ray. I. I'm sorry, Ray." said Bela stammered, now she felt guilty and what Ray said was true, Bela was guilty of separating the child from her father.

"I'm sorry, I'm Ray. I just want to make you and Mami can live well without having to argue anymore because of me," said Bela regretted.

"What do you think, after you've left.I can really live as well as what you said?" ray looked at Bela.

"Didn't it ever cross your heart to go home and tell me about our son's whereabouts? Are you planning on hiding all this forever?" ask Ray again.

"You're right Ray, I do plan to live forever alone with Raynan. Because I think_" said Bela cut off.

"What do you think?" asked Ray staring at Bela sharply.

"Because, I think you're married to Mita and I don't want my presence and Raynan to affect your lives, therefore I plan on forever hiding this from you," clearly Bela.

"Astaghfirullah al-Adzim, did you not leave me? how can you be this selfish and think I'm that bad, aren't you the one who's been living well with other men?" said Ray.

"You mean Riza? Ray, Riza and I were never there, Raynan called him Daddy because he did not want Raynan to be big without feeling the presence of a father" said Bela.

"Aren't you the one who made Raynan lose his father. Even though his father is still alive and loves him very much." said Ray annoyed.

"Yes, Ray. What you say is true. I'm the bad guy who's probably gonna be the bad guy, I don't even know how to be the good guy,"

Ray was silent, only the crystal twigs were currently inundating the corners of his eyes.

"So, I know you mean maybe good, but you shouldn't have to sacrifice a lot of hearts like this" Ray said.

^Happy Reading^