When Talak Has Spoken

Chapter 4 Crying In Solitude

There is no significant change from the attitude of the Bhishma knowing that Ajeng has contained the fruit of their love. In the eyes of Mama and Mayang, it appears that he is a very alert husband. He was quite worried about Citra's condition when they fainted while they were having breakfast together.

But back again, there is no desire of Bhishma to find out how to maintain a bumil mood that goes up and down. He cursed himself, because until this moment he could not accept the presence of Ajeng by his side.

He tried, but the feeling could not be lied to. He wants to feel the vibrations that make him feel longing and wants to always be at his side and make his partner happy.

Bisma wants to feel it just once. But after entering the five months of marriage, he felt ordinary. Because he was used to being independent, he was sure that Ajeng's presence was not so meaningful in his life. Moreover, he came only on weekends, that was if he did not stay in Bandung or Bogor.

He felt guilty for allowing Ajeng to bear everything alone. He is not a good priest. That's why he wants to let go of Ajeng to find his own happiness.

He is sure, mama and Mayang will accept his decision. A marriage he doesn't want makes him feel shackled to do something he doesn't want.

Before the wedding, she felt free. Even though he came home once a month there were no demands from his mother. But as soon as the qabul happens, he has an obligation to always go home at the weekend.

Bhishma feels his concentration on work becomes divided. He is not focused on work, such as being chased after time to go home at the weekend. Inevitably he always brings work home.

He was sure Ajeng accepted his decision. Moreover, during the four months together, he had never heard Ajeng's complaint about his attitude so far. Mama and Mayang are also at the academy. Ajeng is indeed a good woman, only she has not felt the feeling, of the relationship that has been created.

Now Ajeng has contained the fruit of love that of course he never wanted before. He certainly could not force his will just like that. In Islam, it is not permissible to divorce a woman who is pregnant, let alone be aware when doing so.

The bisma shrinks the head which suddenly hurts. It's a misstep. He forgot the physical relationship without implicating what happened between him and Ajeng must be risky. Even in the eyes of people, the clouds are normal. But for him ....

“Mas don't worry. I'm fine,” Ajeng's voice makes Bisma turn her gaze on the face of his wife who is now rising from the bed.

There is a sense of sin on the side of the little heart of Bhishma by the deeds he does. But a return to selfishness always justifies whatever he does.

“No Jeng. We will go through this together,”, Bisma said in the silence of the night after thinking about it carefully.

Ajeng felt that Bhishma's speech was insincere. He is too often faced with customers, so he can distinguish between serious and playful. In her husband's fixed gaze she saw that her speech was limited to responsibility without any affection in it.

He turned his back to Bhishma with tears that gushed like the bah. There was nowhere for him to share his grief at this moment. He's wounded. The news of her pregnancy was very happy for her in-laws and sister-in-law. But at the same time she did not see him on the face of her husband.

“Yes Allah.. strengthen Your servant through all this ... “ shouts Ajeng in do’a that he tucked to strengthen mentally in living the days ahead.

That morning as usual Ajeng served customers without much drama in her pregnancy. Monday which for some people is not fun, but it means a lot to Ajeng.

It is more comfortable in the work environment. All the partners supported and comforted each other.  There is no sadness that he feels when he is in the work environment.

But once back home, only loneliness struck. There is no warmth let alone a friendly hug from a man who has the title of husband. Only on the prayer mat is the most comfortable place for Ajeng to spill all the turmoil that he feels.

At seven months of gestation, Bhishma cannot be present. A festive performance at Nurita's degree at her residence. She is very grateful for her daughter-in-law's pregnancy.  Mayang was enthusiastic to welcome the arrival of guests who were some of their extended family.

Ajeng was happy because his father and Dimas and his only sister Sumi lek wanted to come visit. Although his happiness is not perfect, but Ajeng is grateful to be surrounded by people who love him.

“Bojomu ndi?” mr. Samiran asked quietly while looking at his daughter closely because he did not see the whereabouts of Bhishma since his arrival two hours ago.

“Sih ono gawean in Jakarta sir,” Ajeng said softly.

Ajeng just wants to make his father happy. For too long their families have felt the difficulty of life as farmers who have pas-pasan land. Now she has worked, and the material obtained from her husband is also abundant. It is time to give happiness to father and lek Sumi who always supported him from the beginning.

“Can you not go home for a while?” whispered Lek Sumi as they were sitting together in front of ust. Fajrin who will give tausiyah as well as congratulations prayer for himself and the fetus that is now growing in his womb.

“Mas Bhishma is being cloned in Yogya,” Ajeng said with a sad face, “Maybe three more days just back.  His duty was also impromptu ..”

“Yo. May you and your future baby always be healthy in the protection of Allah .. “ said lek Sumi while rubbing Ajeng's hand.

“Look dear .... many love the same ade and mother,” lirih Ajeng in heart trying to strengthen his heart while caressing his growing belly.

The night after the seven-monthly thanksgiving event, Ajeng and his father, Dimas and Lek Sumi returned to his home. At this time he felt the happiness of being together with his father and family from the village.

“Pak, I have registered the father and lek Sumi umroh next month,” Ajeng said while submitting the full file to the hands of both parents whom he loved very much.

“Lho nduk, is it not excessive?” lek Sumi looked at him moved with a glazed look.

“No lek. Lek Sumi has been taking care of my father. All this is nothing with the help that has been lek Sumi gave to the father and Dimas.”

“Alhamdulillah O Allah nduk. Hope you and your baby are healthy. Launched your lahiran and sustenance are always abundant.”

The feeling of haru filled Ajeng's heart got a hug from Sumi's lek whom he already considered to be like his own mother. So sincerely love himself and Dimas and always take care of all the needs of the father during the event work in Malang.

Indeed he did not lack the affection of his in-laws and in-laws. But the sincerity of his closest brother makes him excited in life.

Before laying down on the bed, Ajeng checked his phone again to see the incoming messages. His eyes stared at the message that Bisma had just sent.

“Sorry I can't leave a task. Maybe the next Saturday I can't go back to Malang. Angga asked me directly to Bandung.”

Ajeng saved his phone back with a sad feeling. Husband as a place to indulge, especially when just giving birth to his descendants. She desperately needed the support of her husband. But just as pungguk misses the moon, Bhishma is getting further and further out of reach.

Mama-in-law and personal driver who always accompany when he has to control monthly, to know the growth and development of the fetus in his womb. He did not expect much from Bhishma.

Even before delivery there is no presence of bisma. He prioritizes work more than his wife and prospective baby who will be born into the world.

Now Ajeng is conscious. The test of marriage is a lot. He got in-laws and brother-in-laws who were too good, abundant material, but the husband who should have been the closest person never cared and thought it did not exist.

“That is patient yes, mama is sure someday Bhishma will change... “ Nurita's speech only Ajeng replied with a smile and nod.

He's done with what happened. It turns out that until this moment there is no desire for Bhishma to mutation into Malang. He remains absorbed in his world. And Ajeng was very well-versed.

“Later if your child is born, let's bring a babysitter at your mom's house. Kasian if alone at home.”

“Ya ma,” Ajeng nodded in approval to her in-laws advice.

He was sure that Bhishma would not agree if there were anyone else, even a babby sitter who lived with them. He had to obey the wishes of his in-laws.