Unclear

Weddings

This is the first time my father introduced me to his candidate, I tried to be kind, I realized sooner or later my mother will be replaced.

"Mil, know this Auntie Zura, you want to come to the mall, don't you?" ask my father in front of all the family.I just cleared my throat, my heart is broken, father does not ask I agree or not.

We walked around the mall sitting in a cafe, and Dad explained that tomorrow they were going to have a proposal, and again Dad didn't ask me, whether I agreed or not, I don't know if my heart is broken, I want to be angry, but who am I?

time passed, fear came to me, they again and again hurt me, Cici ku Fatana, calling from Malaysia she lived there to work, she took care of me from childhood, had he been there at this time, in my critical period, I'm sure I wouldn't have experienced this kind of pain, but I came back again, as soon as it was set, I was only human, I was, and useless.

Cici Fatana sent me a letter written specifically for my father.

Assalamualaikum

my entire brother/i.

I'm sorry I can't be there when you're having a hard time, tell my niece, instill sincerity in her heart, give her a hug, behave gently and clear the way, like a message from home.

Tell my brother, think twice about getting married again, I know his needs, but think about my nephew's condition too, ask if he's okay or vice versa.

All my letters, may you all always be in his protection.

Wasalam...

They were all busy taking care of the supplies, from the bed linen, shoes, bags, uniforms to attend the event, they were busy themselves, while I was not concerned.

Swear to death this pain will be as I imprint.

I tried hard, to be quiet, I did not want to attend, but all forced to attend, I should have just run away at that time, I should have run to Surabaya to my pact place.

I hate that marriage, trying to cover it all up, but like being stuck by a thorn, moving around hurts a little bit.

In the event that I rampaged, no one calmed me down, Aunt Ismi asked not to interfere, even though I need her, I need her arms.

"Milla, you don't cry here" he said, who had changed into wedding clothes.

"have you ever asked Milla? you never ask, want it or not, like it or not, agree or not. I just hear them, I don't care about Milla, where Milla needs me when she needs me! I never existed!"

I feel like I want to die when you can just keep quiet like that, I hate all this, why I have to be forced to accept what I don't want, dad reneged on all his promises, not to get married again, did he forget?

No, dad didn't forget, he just thought the request didn't exist, just as he just looked at me, acknowledged me as a child, but didn't care about me.

Mom, can I ask you to come back, hug me, kiss me, protect me, give me mom's love, I miss, I care more about you.