Trapped in the Love of Immigrants

Surrender

My view is straight ahead, towards the window while looking at the city that has just been in the rain by presenting urban houses that are quite towering, as if like pyramids lined up in this complex.

It was late in the afternoon, but I was silent in this room. Silence, only the sound of a fan was heard in the room that had been painted blue dark, and the noise of the roar of vehicles passing by in front of the house, which was not the same, or on a highway that is not far from my contract.

After the incident, the girl still silenced me like this, probably still angry. And, I can't do anything either. In fact, I still love that guy.

My phone just rang. Once, twice. And for the third time, the call from Sadeev was answered.

“Sore, Ms. Indonesia!” my little smile rose when I heard her boisterous voice there. He was always there, when I needed him.

“Sore, Sadeev.” Lirihku slowly still in a rasp.

“Suaraamu .. sounds weird. Sad again?” a smile I felt on my lips, then looked down while tucking the strands of hair— that I had let fly in the face because of a gust of wind— behind the ears.

“Again where?” my instead.

He breathed a moment there. Then, “On the spot Navroy.”

My head lifted as soon as I heard the name called. Like an electric shock electrocuting into a blood vessel.

“Oh, again visit there, yes?”

“Not really. He's sick again, so go see him, all of you keep him here,”

The deg! the pain is now perched in my mind.

“What pain? Is she okay?”

Sadeev sighed. “The formula is so influential, huh? To the dismay and surprise of that. Don't worry, he seems to be fine. At least, the treatment that has been in his path for the past two days, has paid off. But he's still weak, Key, maybe, should rest a lot and—“

“What really happened to him, Sadeev?”

the man was silent for a moment. Then, “I know you're so fretful there. So, why don't you just ask him directly here?”

“You mean, you want me to talk to him?” kusuku.

“Yes! Comehere!

“But how? I think, there is security and cctv,”

“We will think later how, but the most important thing is now be prepared! Let me know if you're in front of the hotel. Oh yeah, don't let anyone else know, especially Navroy that I told you about this,” the message at the end of the sentence.

“Thank you, Sadeev. You are always reliable, I will prepare first.”

“Okay, see you here.

“Ya, see you.” As I was about to hang up, the man interrupted again.

“Keysa?”

“Yes, Sadeev? Anything you want to say again?”

He was silent for a moment, Then, “This is not easy, so be careful!” he almost whispered there.

My smile evaporates. “I know, with you must always be safe, “ Sahutku before disconnecting the phone. Sounds like encouraging yourself.

I breathed deep air, convinced myself. Tears floating in the eye. I know this could have been dangerous, given Navroy's information when he told me about the condition of the place he lives today. True, the place is indeed in security and installed cctv so that not carelessly people can enter freely or visit there if not immigrants, especially women. And the condition is, there are only two. First, only fellow immigrants with ID card identifiers given by the immigration authorities or at least the same gender as them, are men. Or the second, it could be if with the approval of the hotel supervisor who guards there because there are interests that are deliberately invited. Either it be their teacher for a special class like a language class, music or any other. And of course, the place is only filled with men like those who are immigrants—regardless of undergoing a camp period in a different place in a city for several months even some are several years. And if it is known that there are intruders who are not worthy to be in their environment, then be prepared to be beaten or maybe in prison. Immigrants associated with intruders can be deported or jailed in brackets for months or even years.

*Do you know me, Lord? But I want to see his condition! It was not quiet to hear him experience that way. Moreover, I want to see it which is possible for the last time. At least, if anything happens to me, I don't want to involve anyone later.

May time and God support and side with me at this time*!

It didn't take long, I had arrived at that tall black-colored building. Pretty fancy building.

The parking lot is not too broad, but some ornamental plants deliberately decorate this place which is placed near the door porch in a large flower pot with a magnificent modern pattern. This is my second visit here, but the difference is just waiting in the parking lot at that time, when accompanying Navroy back to take his wallet.

The building was indeed guarded by two people of firm security. Sometimes they chat while laughing giggling.

Before entering the area, do not forget to leave a message for Sadeev. And sure enough, it didn't take long, he came out in his jeans and short-sleeved sweatshirt. His eyes glanced at me before approaching the two security people who had not been aware of my existence here. For a long time they chatted, so security one walked out of this area and made me immediately hide carefully behind a tree near the gate of the hotel. After Sadeev returned to chatting for so long, a subtle clink rang out from me.

Sadeev

Enter carefully, try not to get exposed to cctv or make people suspicious in there. Don't talk to others, if you have to, just shake or nod. And wait for me right behind the tehel stairs to the west, which is not far from the elevator. Let me know when I'm there.

After reading the chat message, I tidied up the long-sleeved black shirt that was wrapping my body, wearing a hat while tucking my long hair inside the blue hat with the model of this guy, then wearing a mask. I deliberately prepared it for this disguise and frothed as hard as I could not arouse suspicion. After taking a deep breath, breathing in and calming down, I then let out a heavy sigh and stepped in carefully, but still normal people like them were in effect.

My heart felt like it was beating fast as it darted into the lobby. That security was completely sidetracked by the man. The spacious lobby with a modern interior looked quite quiet, only a few people were chatting on the red long sofa to the west, just a few people, in the east right on the black sofa looks a man who is busy with his gadget and some others are chatting fun while standing right not far from the luxury accessory cabinets on display in the south to contrast with the design and color of the walls with bronze brown. Some are aware of my existence when entering and glancing and then returning to their respective activities. As I turned westward to the back of the stairs, a cute-looking man who had just walked out of the hotel smiled at me. I just nodded in a smile and could feel, although he did not see this smile covered by a mask, my eyes showed.

“Salam.” Greet the man with his chauffeur, before passing. It was indeed a polite greeting if meeting with their country mates.

Stay cool, Keysa! Spirit, you can do it! I cried in my heart that reminded me.

I immediately darted to hide behind the stairs and quickly sent a message to Sadeev and told the man—to take advantage of a safe time in my opinion, while trying to regulate my breath that began to roar uncharacteristically.

Really, it's the same criminal case! Even the horrors I felt like I was about to pull off a heist in a palace.

As soon as someone slapped me on the shoulder, I almost screamed. It was fortunate that this man immediately smothered my mouth when I turned to look at him.

“Quiet! We have to be normal so that no one gets suspicious, okay?”he reminded me while whispering. I'm nodding.

“Come, come with me! Careful!” it was his words that made me nod and rush to my destination.

I then stepped behind him, following somewhere but taking me to my beloved man. We walked into an empty elevator. As soon as the door closes.

One....

a two...

Until the fourth number .... orange light on the number button attached to the right side of the elevator stopped right at the number, then the next second, as soon as the sound of a fine clink rang, it sounded, the door opened and looked to the left not far from the vault, a black sofa was there with a beautiful vase fitted with ornamental plastic flowers. As soon as we stepped out of the elevator, my heart beat fast.

The actual step should feel light, but strangely, every foot on the floor with this brown-tuned pattern, it feels like a heavy tread and step. The man was still walking right next to me, taking steps, to no end where to take me. When it was not long before we turned to the left, right in the corridor lined with tightly closed rooms, our steps stopped at the heavy voice of middle-aged behind. The beckground voice really showed anxiety and shock on our faces that glanced at each other and looked at each other. It seems that the voice that called Sadeev was just heard by us, but with a language that I really did not understand. As we turned around, a thick-bodied middle-aged man with a chineese face looked at us as he approached.

“Wait!” sahutin in English.

The sharpness of the face was so flat and staring intensely. I glanced at him and turned to look at the man beside me. The atmosphere of tetiba turned clumsy, awkward yet anxious as well. To be honest, my heart beat faster. Panic and fear began to attack me.

Sadeev glanced at her with a calming look.

“You're Sadeev, right?” his question was a guess that the man's assumption admitted as he immediately nodded, then shook hands.

“Greetings. Yes, Sir. I'm a friend of Navroy's who took care of him yesterday, when you were there also visited him,”

The man nodded in understanding, then his eyes then looked at me with a demanding look in question.

“And who is he? What are you doing here?” he asked and looked back at the man.

“Friends one group pull up and his gym Navroy, Sir,” sidelines Sadeev.

Then I shook hands. For a long time he held my hand, staring at me with a strange look. I even started to feel anxious in case he got suspicious.

“Can you open your mask?” his daughter was still staring strangely at me. When I hesitantly opened, Tetiba Sadeev interrupted. “Umm, Sir, I don't think it's necessary,”

“Alright! I believe you, son. After all, you come here a lot, so that's quite the reason why I believe. Go then! Sorry to doubt you, young man!” he said to Sadeev, then looked at me in a smile at the end of the sentence. I'm nodding.

I think I just breathed. I felt my shoulders slumped relaxed due to the tense atmosphere earlier. As the middle-aged man turned around, about to pass by leaving us in the corridor, we immediately turned around and Sadeev held my arm to quickly walk over.

“Thank God, he was easy to believe,” my murmur that made the man grin.

“Everything depends on reason, if your disguise wants to succeed,” my smile widens. “You sound like professional only,”

Sadeev.

“Wait, Sadev!” the heavy voice sounded again and made us aghast.

What else Now?

He walked back to us, still a flat face and an expression I didn't like.

“Can I buy her a lollypop candy? In order for once in a while his annoying expression to turn out to be more palatable at a little glance!” my murmur whispered which apparently was still heard by Sadeev, he boasted his smile.

“The old man is not like you, Dewana,” I tried to hold back my smile hearing the chiming of this man next to me, especially the middle-aged man has been so close to us.

“Ya, Sir, what's up?” Sadeev asked, still polite.

“The kids seem to have extra time for their respective classes, so there's likely no one to look after Navroy. I just want to ask for your help, please take care of him for a while until the others finish class and can replace you on guard. Can you?”

Sadeev smiled broadly. Of course, sir, he's like my family, yeah we're like family. So, don't worry about that,”

“Good! So, no problem! And you, don't get tired of visiting here, huh? They were all fun, really,” his sigh, then turned to look at me at the end of the sentence while smiling broadly while patting my right arm.

Instantly, his creepy face disappeared.

Well, right, it's better that way!

“Thank you, Sir!” sahut Sadeev's.

The man simply raised his right hand in front of us. “Alright! I have to go back to the room. Greetings to Navroy, may he get well soon!” then he turned around.

We wait for the man to leave first. After turning in the left corridor, then disappearing into view, we rushed to Navroy's room.

The room was not far from here, only through five doors, then turned in the corridor to the right, then the bronze painted door finally appeared. The door is wide open, not closed. My feet stood glued right in the doorway as I was about to pass through the entrance—My feet felt heavy all of a sudden, like they were locked.

He seemed to be chatting with a man his age, smiling occasionally as he lay on his soft, medium-sized bed. And his friend was sitting on an iron chair located right on the edge of the bed, next to him. A spacious room that was almost painted gray with a fluent white chocolate pattern, now decorate the man's room. I now open the mask as his eyes now turn towards me and find me. His smile disappeared, his face was transfixed when he looked at me who was still standing here, looking at him darkly, without touching. In just a few seconds, those tears had hung on the eye peluk. I just tried so hard to hold back these tears not to cry in front of her.

Navroy was whispering to his friend for a moment, then looked back at me as the friend passed. While Sadeev, approached two men who were sitting right on the bed there—three mattresses from here. They do have several beds in this room which of course share each other in one room. However, it did not last long, the man also came out of the room that was currently starting to feel stifling it— went over with his friends out of nowhere and left us only the two in this room.

Again, my feet are still aghast here, looking at him. It feels tight and the pain is getting rebellious in the mind. His pale and innocent face still looked handsome there.

“Hai.” His voice was like a whip that instantly made my heart tremble at once.

It seemed like the world and my breathing stopped instantly. But, the pain is still felt.

I really miss that sound. It feels like my heart has been crying.

Navroy patted the edge of his bed, asking to approach in his trademark smile. Memories of being with him at the hotel first, treating me like that instantly danced in the mind. “Come! Don't stand there!”

Again, I still just looked at her in teary eyes, looking down while trying hard to control myself so as not to cry. So crowded! His smile there, looking at me in the shade still standing dumbly looking at the man.

“Babe?” his call immediately made these tears spill instantly that I could not contain anymore, then rushed to embrace the burly body. Pain, pain, dullness, emptiness, tightness, poignancy, all mixed into one in this close embrace.

“Hey, relax!” his whispers calmed in his arms.

My talk was still heard, he looked at me in his eyes, then smiled at me. “It's okay, I'm fine. Sit!” after taking off my embrace.

“How are you?” he asked as I began to look calm while wiping my tears and looking at him. That warm look forged my iris.

“Very bad, if you see you like this,”

She's wheezing. “Dewana!”

we went back to silence.

“What brought you here? Who told you about this?”

My arm just made him sigh.

“What happened?”

“Only accident.”

“Only accident? How could? Have you eaten? Taking medicine?” cecarku gave her anxious questions while doing her vital checks such as breathing, pulse and—

“You shouldn't be here,” looks down at me which makes my head look up at him and stop checking.

“What?”

“You forgot what I said first? You can be dangerous here!” I looked at him pushy.

“You still hate me, huh?”

He sighed. “Nobody hates you, Key. Go, komplek?”

I shook my head strongly. “I still want to accompany you here,”

“No need, Keysa, there are many who take care of me here,”

“Babe, Please?” Please cupped my hands in front of him. He looked at me darkly. Then, pull this hand off.

“Why don't you ever understand that I never love you? Just toying with you,”

My tears immediately flowed upon hearing that sentence, my head lowered trying to strengthen itself with the rest of my strength.

“Sometimes, that love can only be felt by reason, even though it feels crazy in the mind. You still ask why? Because my heart still loves you, even if you never. If you say crazy, yeah, I'm crazier before you know it, that how much you're all about me,”.

I rubbed my tears, smiled, got up and kissed her lips briefly, then kissed her forehead for so long.

“Please promise me that you will be happy, take care of yourself,” Lirihku who almost whispered, gently rubbed the face while still staring at the face that I will surely miss, I let my smile widen in front of him which is only a few inches away, then it passed after gently rubbing its head. Without looking back, without stopping.

Going as far as anything follows these two legs, along with the tightness and stinging that now stings incessantly while looking down while wearing a hat and disguising again.

There must be pain when I have dared to love you. Although you repeatedly slammed me in bloody wounds, but still, in fact, this feeling will remain the same and will continue to be the same, Navroy. Yes, I am here, with all the love I have, though destruction has struck me several times.

Now, you are like imagination and shadow in front of me in my life. I can only imagine you are in front of me, and still with me. But now, it just transformed into a silly delusion full of mirth.

I could no longer see you in front of me, smiling like the chirping lantern of my life. I can no longer hear your singing and your singing of love, the song of love that you have always spread throughout my life. Love songs like you babble with your concern for me. A song of love like you unceasingly reminds me of taking care of my health. A song of love, like you've taken care of me so much that there's not the slightest sorrow that dares to be stranded in my life. Like a string quote from a warm kiss from you. Like a tight grip on the guitar from the warm grasp of your hands and hugs. Now, everything is gone and completely gone! Until in the end, it is true, there will be a point where the singing has finished in chanting, the guitar passages are finished in jerky, and love has finished in happiness so that it is conscious or not, everything instantly turned into a silent, silent, hollow and enveloping sorrow.

I'm here, not because I don't love you anymore, but trying to rediscover happiness again. Happiness without me.

My feet are now stepping out of this hotel and with all my strength left, trying to follow his wish. If in the end it's what makes him happy here, at least maybe it's the only way I can make him happy. Pain and trying to try to make your happiness by staying away from you— like a package. Loving you and ruining my life, that too is a package. And I call that beautiful silliness!

* * *