Trapped in the Love of Immigrants
When the Story Has Been Done
I waited here for quite a while, right under this huge tree with such a quiet atmosphere. This place is not far from the north entrance with a seat made of cement at several points on the side of the road along the area. Yeah, I'm waiting. Waiting for him whether how many tens of minutes have passed until dusk has sunk replace the beautiful light of the moon which is now also dim in the sky there.
In fact, my chat has not been read by Navroy. Silly indeed! It's too ridiculous to wait until you forget what your nature should be. Do women not have pride in front of men? Stop, you cheesy! It is this heart that continues to curse itself. Tears have even been on the verge of the eye pelukur, but deliberately trying hard to resist not to come out, wet the cheeks.
Then, how should I? Is it wrong if I fight? At least, just want clarity over this relationship. Too many! Too many questions gnawed my day to snatch away this peace and slowly unwittingly became a hole in the heart. Was wrong? Can you appreciate me a little?
It's eight o'clock at night. Right, I waited that long just for him. Waiting two more hours here is only for that guy I love so much. For this ridiculous relationship. My body began to feel shivering with a thin T-shirt that I wore due to the cold effect that had sipped into the body. I just remembered, the jacket I was wearing was deliberately torn as a cast cover that man.
And, until the entrance to the north and south was about to close, he still did not come. or at least, pass this way.
Grumpily! The pain and pain began to cloud this mind!
There comes a time when you are happy, when that time comes. There comes a time, you have to grieve as if wearing a mask. And there comes a time, you don't seem to be who you are. And when that time comes, without you knowing it, it will teach you at the same time to become a strong person. You could run, you could hide. But know, there will come a time, the rain soaks up everything it meets. That is what wounds and sadness are like.
* * *
Keys
Hey, Babe!
How's it going? What about your legs? Does it still hurt?
Be careful and take care of yourself. Please, don’t so hard of workout.
Keys
Babe, are you okay?
Please, don’t make me worry:(
Keys
Babe, I miss you (
Keys
Baby, are you there?
Keys
Baby, I'm sorry I bothered you, but I hope you're okay there.
Keys
Take care of yourself and keep your health, my Azizm, unfortunately I, dostit daraam mmuuaachh.
Minute....
The clock....
In fact, for hours, no messages from Navroy. Yeah, he still hasn't hit back. In fact, neither did reading. The phone seemed weathered and dusty without any news and notifications from it. I could only stare at that wide flat object lying next to me with blank eyes as it lay hugging this knee.
I feel helpless. My world means nothing anymore. I don't know how many teardrops that have soaked this face to cause pink satin sheets that have wrapped my soft mattress to become moist. The eyes are still soft, it is more difficult to open the eyes. It feels like this eye patch is thickened, possibly swollen due to the effects of these stupid tears. Mirisnya again, it also always happens in a state when about to sleep and wake up, as if the tears have become my best friend lately, accompanying before and when awakened from sleep.
Ever since that last accidental meeting and incident, I've never heard from him again, in fact, all his social media accounts are off. Navroy vanished without a trace.
This once strong and impervious woman, why was she so helpless as to lie weakly on her bed? Crying over the man who doesn't care about it one bit. Stupid, indeed!
Sometimes my heart wonders, why love you this sick? Is this the simple and sincere love I have? Is it my fault that you torture and slowly kill me like this? I don't even care about my life and myself anymore and again just focus on you. My love for you, Pakistani immigrant man, is sane and taking my peace now. You ... are so outrageous!
I closed my eyes, as if enjoying the tears again for the umpteenth time flowing non-stop.
Ma, why is it so sick?
“You sick?”
I was just squirming in the blanket as she checked my forehead, but the body temperature that was assumed to be feverish, in fact made the woman who currently looked glamorous frowned in her gaze. “Your body is cold. What happened, anyway?” continues wonder.
Again, I squirm after shaking. “Nothing. I thought you had forgotten your way home,” the smile knot Farah yawned, but the eyes were like talking that there was sadness there. It was hard to look at him with my eyes like this.
Lately, he rarely goes home. And he also never explained to me where he had been staying all this time.
“You're crying?” instead of looking at me, demanding.
Ah, this woman! no matter how hard he tried to hide, the original still he could not bear, especially his silly habits to me.
“I'm happy, you're here,” my murmurs stare blankly without looking at the little girl who has painted the yellowish blonde of her hair and prefers to ignore the question. I could feel it, he approached, then sat on the edge of the bed as this soft mattress swayed a little.
“Did he hurt you again?”
The question made me silent. I know, the nature of ‘the exposure is starting to crumble. However, these tears just drip on the temple, making me feel like putting my face in this blanket. It was as if it was burning with its pain and spreading in my body. Yeah, of course Farah meant Navroy.
“Keysa?” call him again to try, but this time I tried to turn my body back and I remained sideways, drowning this silly face that was getting swollen with tears.
“At least, you are here now, making me not feel alone, despite the memories of mama and—“
Farah immediately hugged me while sobbing, hugging so tightly without a word. I don't know what's wrong with this woman, like something's hurting her.
“I'm sorry, I miss you so much,”it's her heart that makes me smile knots while hugging her, in this position, lying down.
Sometimes, when you feel alone or even the world feels cruel, that's when the people around you are there for you, it felt like a medicine as well as an angel that had been sent by God to be a healer and encouragement, even for a moment.
When Farah let go of her arms and took food for me downstairs, that was when, for the first time, a call from Navroy I didn't expect to come in on my phone. Right, that ringing that sounded like a terrible warning to my life.
“Hai.” He asked after a few seconds I answered his phone and I just kept quiet.
“Hai. How's feet? Does it still hurt?” I asked her directly. That was the first thing I wanted to hear from him, waiting for a few days for news of his concern.
“Yeah, everything is good, thank you that time and until now.” he took a breath, then sighed heavily. “Sorry I never told you again. But, Keysa, I hope everything is not like this,” he continued heavily there.
“What do you mean? Keysa's? Whatisit? What does it mean that your attitude changes like we don't have a relationship?” my boy was quick, as if terrified of losing any more news from him.
My heart began to fret, as if someone stabbed it until it felt sharp but crying.
His heavy sighing sounded again, he fell silent for a moment. Then the next second, “Yeah, I'm sorry, but we better stop this. That's .. for your good! We broke up, "
“What? We breaking-up? Why, Babe? What wrong? I'll try to fix it if there's something you don't like about me, my dark” that starts to tear up the eye patch.
He was silent again for a moment. Then, “I'm sorry, I'm not good for you, for your sake.”
“And Baikku’, my happiness is you! Wh why? Azizm, Please—“
“We only make you a bet,”
The deg!! It was as if my heart had stopped beating. It's like there's no oxygen. He managed to make me stop begging and shut up. The lightning-fast tears filling these eyelids had now spilled out profusely. Destroyed already!
My body is not moving. All I felt, was pain, pain, pain that was so sharp, especially the painful feeling stuck in the throat, like choking, like stuck, and then it struck with a tightness in all the nerves that were so painful as a thousand spears and a mace tore this heart out. I even felt dead. That sentence, as if a drilling machine that was scraping forcefully so deeply with its pain in mind that it kept repeating the sentence like a broken cassette. His words, about our memories, about him, all melted into one mind that gave such a painful wound right now in the heart. The gaping wound, now a sign that the day I passed would be like that.
In seconds, you changed everything and ruined my life, Navroy!
All I remember, Farah's anxious voice screamed, and then my body collapsed in her arms. Last I heard, the sound of a heartbreaking scream along with that unstoppable sobbing of tears, apparently came from me.
* * * *
