Trapped in the Love of Immigrants
When You're Gone
What has happened cannot be beautiful again. Although, you try as hard as you can try, standing firm in the dark, but in the end, you will find that pain again that you have ignored for some time.
It's all meaningless, when you're gone, Navroy. Everything is destroyed and lost without rest. Mirisnya, all you leave is a wound that hurts every second. Here, in this little heart. My life is like nothing beautiful anymore. Every moment, I woke up with so much heartbreaking and heartbreaking cries, even in my excruciating sleep.
Before going to sleep, the tears washed my face, whether this look was pale or not, even these eyelids had swollen or not. You ... have snatched it up without rest, let alone this smile. In fact, to socialize with the surrounding environment, no longer. It feels like my day is so sick, not as beautiful anymore. Yes, like the rain that every time soaks the earth, but the difference is, my rain does not show a rainbow. There are only tears that are more painful every day, no matter the time and place, like a storm. Here I am the helpless one, closing myself with his coward. I'm really very weak, crummy and fragile right now. Silence without a word, being alone in a room in an empty view, now colors the world and my day. Aye! My brain and my life are rotating about you. Again, the figure of you I found in my mind, seemed to be relentlessly tearing to leave such a deep wound.
The more I diverted myself, the more the pain tormented me. As if it had a gap to enter the mind, then tear apart everything without waste. Memories that I used to call beauty, are now bundled with pain.
Working, then locking myself in my room, that's all I can do. It seems like everything is no more. Hampa .. was so empty, that even in my dreams I could not find you anymore. Many times Sadeev and other friends called, but I just ignored them. Moreover, Farah and Sadeev who often visited me in this room, tried to encourage and rise, but still I found myself lying helpless in a dark corner there. Yes, the body was silent stiff with the dark look they found from me. Whether it's been days to how many, weeks to how, this self is so dissolved in fragility. Repeatedly tried to get up, but still he kept trying to get into this slit of thought.
I hate her! Hating with all the rest of my power, especially his attitude and decisions. Hate with his behavior that casually makes this love a bet, but poke and slice, in the end, this love still can not get rid of the mind. He is still like a Greek God in this heart, although now he has become a storm god who every time ransacked my life to snatch away this peace.
Not infrequently, I cried for himself in this spacious room, especially when I saw him with another girl approaching.
Wh why? That quick? What wrong?
I then folded the two legs that I had bent earlier while crying so much in a deep cry. In my deepest heart, in a dark corner, I found this cry of love that I still love her so much.
* * *
“Hai.” Farah greeted doubtfully, as she appeared in the doorway after knocking.
Again my best friend found me lying helplessly with my legs bent and his back.
“Someone's looking for you. He was alone, in the living room. If you can give advice, you may be adrift to Navroy, Key, but that does not mean you close yourself and ignore the people who care about you, he said, who still stands there. However, it still makes me quiet. “Meet, please? At least, you've been trying to pull yourself in the dark. And that, could not be done by others if not from yourself!”
I put my head in the blanket. Again, this clear water dripped in silence.
“Please, don't keep yourself constantly in silliness,” his sigh before I hear the door closed. A cry sounded from me instantly.
*No, it's not that easy!
If only I could, but*....
Every memory that was twisted was clear in my brain, every figure was in my mind, it felt like thousands of daggers were shredding this rough heart. It hurts! It was so painful that I found myself helplessly sprawled in this darkness.
A slow knock sounded from the doorway. Once .... twice ... even repeatedly with the soprano voice. Yeah, I know that voice. The voice that has been trying for the last few days to comfort me, now it comes to strengthen but I so wickedly ignore. In fact, it was still lying on this bed without the slightest intention to rise to meet or open the door.
Not a few hoses back in silence, now the ringing of the phone that began to interfere. Again, I ignored without a single glance at who was calling. The more I ignored, the more the phone was like music that was endlessly heard.
Irritated, I felt and answered.
“Ms. Indonesia?” the cry immediately jerked me to make me quickly check my phone. However, there was a sense of disappointment that I found in there when I had seen. Asumsiku. That call term, usually from Navroy, because of feedback from me and—
“Keysa, still mad at me, yes, because I'm still at your doorstep?” interject the man in his English accent who disperse daydreams.
“What?”
“What are you doing there? You called but only a meter and a half away from me? Jesus, Sadeev, you really are!” his laughter sounded with innocent.
“This is the only way I can chat with you,” He managed to make this smile come out, though a reviewer. Silence back, then the next second, “You off work today, right?” tanyanya back.
I nodded, even though he didn't see it. My eyes closed again while drowning my face in this satin bedcover. “Today, right, sunday. So ... let's jog early in the morning!” he continued to be carefree on the phone, but his voice was still clearly heard out there. He was actually still there, at the door as per his confession.
“Jogging morning? Now?” I repeat in surprise, after these eyes widen again.
“liyah! Why?”
“Longly lazy!”
"I just found out and heard, apparently there is a doctor who is lazy to exercise!" his murmur chimed in annoyingly.
“Sssstt, quiet!” sergeant's upset.
Sadeev's loud voice rang out and along with the door's thump for a moment, followed by a small ringing that made my wide smile flounder.
What is he, anyway, out there?
“You'd rather he be in your head constantly, huh?” he said after a few seconds.
My smile disappeared instantly, making a faint frown on this forehead.
She's she? Who did Sadeev mean? He ... o-oh!
I unconsciously bit my lips. Really, my badmood is getting more and more.
Sadeev, you really know how to wake me up! My sleeping hours are disrupted, Mr. Afghanistan dewana!
His laughter echoed for a few moments outside and on the phone which made me have to keep the phone in the ear for a while because it was noisy by his loudest laughter which was the same in those two places— unconsciously the sentence in my head was thrown just like that. I then hung up the phone.
“SHOULD, YES, YOU REMIND LIKE THAT?” Shouted sarcasm after snorting.
His laughter was heard again from outside, right behind the door. A really mocking laugh.
"CRAZY BASICS!" my grunts are upset who still screams but with Indonesian. Whether he understood it or not, but his annoying laughter was still heard.
“Hurry to prepare, I am waiting for you below, in the living room!” as he shouted after the laughter subsided with innocent.
"Indeed, who said who was willing to jog, anyway? Really crazy bule!" racauku was upset to complain alone, when the sound of someone's footsteps on the stairs, then uncovers the blanket that I had been wearing and rushes prepare.
* * *
