Trapped in the Love of Immigrants
When Intentionally
“What's a smile, Babe?” I whispered next to him while we were on a fairly crowded public transport.
His eyes turned instantaneously towards me, who had earlier stared at a middle-aged woman sitting in the back corner, not far from our seat. The two exotic eyes beckoned towards the middle-aged woman he was looking at earlier. The woman was asleep, although occasionally jolted because her head was pushed forward or shifted due to the speed of the car.
I looked at the woman, then smiled when I saw the man smiling.
“What's up?” whispered to him again. His hand tightened his grip on my lap. Her body was so close, that the scent of the favorite masculine perfume I gave her tickled in the nose.
“Why is he asleep?”
“Maybe he's very tired, Baby. Don't laugh, Honey.” My wife looked at him again in a smile. That wide smile was still there floating on his handsome face.
“Not laughing at him, Azizm. Merely, I was sad to see him, he got to sleep here.” She nodded again, then smiled back as she glanced at me. His eyes glazed over, I don't know what he was thinking right now, but that shady look was so .. touching, like reminiscing about something. Maybe he misses his family, especially his mother.
I then rubbed his shoulder, then moved to the palm of his hand which was now tightly grasped in my hand.
As soon as the public transport stopped for a moment, and some passengers got off, Navroy moved away and pulled me along with him, sitting across the street, right next to the sleeping middle-aged woman.
Our grasp on the loose, then slowly pulled the head of the middle-aged hijab woman onto his shoulder to lean on. At first glance, Navroy smiled sweetly as he glanced at me. Apparently that's the reason why I chose to switch seats. He then took my hand back and held it tightly.
“Keysa? You hear me?”
“Yes, Babe?” my body gasped as the hand slowly touched my hand and spontaneously uttered the call. As soon as I realized who was beside me, it felt like this heart was crying, tight. Apparently I'm back to remembering Navroy, remembering about him and our memories, now on public transport with his best friend.
He looked at me, he asked. “What's up?” my arm made Sadeev rub my head.
“Remember her again, huh?” guessed presumably.
My heavy breathing sounded. “Entah, wherever I am, he still teased,” muttered and then looked the other way, trying hard to withstand the pain that began to spread to this body.
“I don't know what really happened to you. And to be honest, I'm not sure, he did that to you. But remember one thing, Key, the one thing he fought for, will one day give an answer that will make him understand. Maybe, not yet, but believe me, there will come a time when you understand everything. Please, be strong, Keysa, I know you can,”
And the last sentence of my own mouth that I heard was sad and dark is, “How are you doing okay there?” my whisper that made the man next to me rub my arm, meant to encourage and smile knots.
“Yeah, he must be fine there, and you should be like that too,” his sigh whispers that make these tears float in the eye crackers, so I have to try hard to hold him back.
* * *
For a few days, I took it out of my mind. Even like that, it still makes me sick and cry bitterly. My world was empty, almost dead. It was as if I found myself helplessly sprawled, despite his disappearance.
It was so painful, so painful, and this heart cried out in tears, as these two feet stepped across the sidewalk ahead of the karebosi. He was as if there, holding me in a smile while waiting under the curtain of rain. The memories are repeated, like they were just yesterday.
I breathe heavily. Raising my face to keep looking straight ahead, as much as possible try not to look at the big tree across the road there, right in front of the magnificent skyscraper. I don't want to, the shadow of her figure to appear in the gap of my mind when looking at that place. Nah! It was enough to torture me for so many times when I passed through that place.
My body almost collided onto the sturdy figure before me, which had only appeared out of nowhere. The masculine scent of the perfume, made my body instantly fixated and locked still—though my head lowered not looking at the owner of the body—but I know, my assumptions are correct. My eyes barely blinked, when I found someone who had just disturbed my mind, now in front of me. In fact, the eyes with brownish-gold irises, as if they did not want to take off the snare of the gaze. Right, Navroy's here, right in front of me. So close, even just a few inches from me. The shady but astonished look was at once surprised, as if saying something in his exotic eyeballs. Without a word, without anything, I immediately turned my eyes and turned my back to him—when the phone rang in my phone that I just realized, I just noticed, at a glance, both of his eyes I found glancing at my phone as I was really about to ignore him.
“Key, where are you now? I.... ” Sadeev's voice sounded on the phone.
I don't know what it is, but I just felt breathing, after staring at Navroy. Like the world is so silent, the sound of passing vehicles or horns, not heard in the slightest, even silence. So quiet, that the sound of overlapping people around so crowded opposite to the SDN school and a place to wait for public transportation, completely undetected by my senses. When I looked back, he was not there. I don't know, maybe it's gone.
But, wait! Am I really doing that? Ignored it? It's unbelievable! I really did it!
“... Keysa's? You're still there, right? Still alive?” sadeev's anxious voice made me frown in wonder.
“Speaking what, anyway?” my timpalku interrupts with innocent.
“You're from where, Mrs. The quetta? I thought you had been kidnapped.”
“Quetta? What is it?” it was me who ignored the question.
“Stypes of love!”
“Sadeev?”
Hearing the name alone, it made my heart beat fast, but it felt so crowded here.
“Key? What happened exactly?”
I muttered indistinctly.
“What? Clear talk dewana,” protest.
“We meet,”
“What? You mean... “ he hangs his sentence.
My heavy breathing is heard. “As accidentally,”
“Oh, I think. But isn't that nice? I mean, you always wanted that, right?”
I closed my eyes and looked up, as if a heavy burden was on my shoulders.
“Indeed, before he left me. But right now, maybe he should be happy. You know, sometimes, we have to hurt ourselves, just for someone's happiness,”
“And you did that with a fool?”
I clicked my tongue. “Sometimes we have to be someone else, in order to understand someone,”
His sighs sounded there. “You know, I think, if you want to make it, just understand it and then show it, not by letting go. Obviously, a person will be happy if they are with a loved one, right? And you know it! Key, if you want to understand someone, just be yourself, not someone else. Because actually, only being yourself can reveal everything. You simply multiply the communication without closing yourself, that's more than enough I guess!” His voice that had apparently been behind me, the phone had been cut off from him. He smiled, then rubbed his head.
“So, he's in there, huh?” he asked again as the two eyes hinted.
“Since when are you here?”
“Since! You always ignore my questions and divert with another question,” a protest, then pull my nose to make me grimace, but only a smile appears from him.
“So, her jogging in cancel?”
“Why?”
“Because it's in there!”
A smile appeared on my face. “ Only cowards who do not accept reality and defeat!”
Sadeev smiled as he looked at me for a moment. “Even though in the end pain and tightness it exists?”
“Sickness and tightness it will not end, if not face. And clearly, that power was created, from the one who worked!”
And he chuckled crisply, while gently shuffling this hair as we stepped inside the Running Track area.
“Let's eat meatballs first before jogging?” ask me to tease in a joke.
“Didn't you say you want to do a diet program?”
“Didn't pain need extra energy to be strong?”
He chuckles. “ Dewana!”
We laughed, chatted and walked in.
Love is not that simple. You'll find the answer and the end, if you have extraordinary powers. And to find it, it takes a dark will and effort to create the word ‘ada and bis’!
* * *
