Trapped in the Love of Immigrants

Powerless

It feels so heavy. The light of the room that forged both my eyeballs, instantly dazzled to make me blink repeatedly to refract the eyes. As soon as my body was about to wake up, pain and soreness instantly spread across my back, closer to the shoulder. The immigrant man and my close friend had helped me to slowly get up. It was obvious that the look of that anxious face appeared on her cute face.

“I'm fine, Sadeev,” lirihku weak that still the expression has not changed.

I still remember that sudden terrible incident, I can still even feel how the bullet burned my skin and pierced through this shoulder.

“Doctors have performed emergency surgery to retrieve three bullets lodged in your body. And you were in a coma for almost a week, Key,”, Sadeev said.

A smile while looking at him perched on my face. “It's okay! Everything's gonna be fine. By the way where is Farah?” I asked Sadeev, when I found only this man who was in this room that was not spacious.

A special barrage of tool sounds that some were attached to my body as well as a distinctive medical aroma instantly blurred and sickened my nose. Slightly frowned, although this oxygen was clearly attached to my tiny senses.

“She just came home because there was a short affair.”

“Oh, okay. And Linka?” I asked Sadeev again when I looked back at him, considering that the girl was there at the time of the incident. It hurts my head, maybe the effect of sleeping too long. I see, this man's face turned confused.

“He never came here, only Farah knows this. I haven't even told all your friends about this incident,”

My forehead frowning, “Any! I think he brought me here. Last I remember, before the sirens sounded, I saw him standing across the street, in the dark. Yeah, that sparkle necklace cross that makes me sure it's him,”

Sadeev now pulled up a chair and sat in front of my bed. His face was still confused. “Wait, you said you saw him there before the police came? But what's he doing there? Could it be that he was the mastermind behind all this?”

I was silent to hear that conclusion.

*linka? The mastermind of everything?

But for what? Yeah, I know he's loved Navroy for a long time. But, regardless of that, I think he*—

“What might the warning, message and his sudden presence in my house be to ask me all this time?”

“Iya right! It could be that he's been secretly stalking you all this time. You have to be careful, Keysa. Sometimes, the danger is near us,” murmured him staring blankly. Like thinking something. “But, do you want to report about this to the police?” sadeev asked, giving advice, but his head shook quickly in a blank look.

“For now, no! I want to find out first. I'm afraid, rashly I will hurt others. I know Linka is a brave and reckless girl, but I don't think that's how much her mind goes for a girl her size? I mean, he's still a teenager to think and act criminally that far, and just out of love?”

“Yeah, sometimes love is blinding, it can even form a powerful force if you realize it. It is undetectable by the mind and penetrates only on instinct, but creates a sense that may be very dangerous to be around. But, wait, you said he did it just out of love?” he muttered and looked back at me at the end of the sentence. Nod my slow as followed by the shadow of the incident when it now appears and makes his forehead wrinkled.

“The story is long. In essence, back then, he was desperate to meet me at the office just because he felt, I took Navroy from him,” I explained.

“The coup happened again, I think.... ”

“What?”

“No! Just thinking about the past, it's just a little different. Their feelings and infatuation for your Pakistani lover are the same, but the difference is, the girl is still alive, while the girl in the past was. His face was like glaring and remembering something. Maybe his mind went back to teasing the girl of the past. I don't know, but the horror was really there, in the blank eyes of hers looking straight. And I don't want to find out about it or ask anything, because hearing it even though it's not detailed, makes me sure that it must be very hard.

“Yup, that's love, sometimes scary and so dangerous!” my murmured who was still staring blankly, yet cleared his throat.

“Hmm.”

Sadeev immediately rubbed his face, as if trying hard to get rid of something disturbing.

“Sleep! You have to rest a lot.” Finally ended.

I lay down and helped him.

For a moment, I closed my eyes, trying to sleep in a room so noisy and disturbing. Last I remembered, I felt someone rub my head gently.

* * *

 

“I see, you're getting closer to her, huh?”

“Who?” I asked who was smacking a smile with frowning brows.

Farah, my best friend has been here since this morning. The nature of his excessive curiosity was still crumpled, despite being in the hospital. And I've been here for a week. The doctor said my health is improving. In fact, it can be repatriated tomorrow.

“Hey, how come daydreaming? I asked?” farah's laughter jerked me. Her nose is now deflated. “I told you earlier, you're getting closer to Sadeev. What's he.... “ This woman hangs up her sentences while teasing while glancing at her last sentence. Which made me smile with concern for him.

“Don't be weird-minded, he's just like you,”

The woman's mouth was half open, yet with a mocking expression in a mischievous look. “Oh my God! You mean, you secretly like me? Like like ... is that? Ulala!” my laughter exploded, but it quickly smothered itself until the laughter could not be heard. Enough pain in the wound on this shoulder, especially if my body moves or shakes due to laughter.

“Farah!” I glared sharply at him, but in an expression held back laughter.

He chuckles. “But, Key, don't you want to open your heart? After all, he's handsome too, and even more so than Navroy. And you, I think it will be ‘better’ with him,”

Smile looks. But this time I didn't look at Farah. My eyes are straight ahead. My heavy breathing sounded.

*Maybe it's true! But you know what, Far? For some reason, no matter how bad she was, in the end, it remained beautiful in my heart. Even if I had to die for loving her, I think my heart would have supported her. He is not only a lover to me, but also a love that has been ingrained in my dark phase and emptiness. It is not about suffering or being hurt, but about how this love still exists, even in the thousands of wounds that are so extraordinary. Ridiculously, this love still stays there. And I don't know why, for the first time, I feel this kind of ridiculous love.

A fool? That is the reality of my helplessness. It's just that I'm tired of pretending to be strong and don't want it anymore. Ah, I think, very tired*.

“You really love her, huh?” farah's curse made me flinch and realize, I said a mutter in my heart.

“Hai! What more obrolin? Seems very serious?” the sound of Sadeev appearing in this white paint room immediately made us look at each other for a moment.

“Topic women!” chirps Farah.

“Alright! The patient had not had lunch. So, it's time to eat!” sadeev shouted that made me roll my eyes.

“Can this time only?” please begin to look at the man with compassion.

“While! Usually doctors prefer health, but this— “

“Sstt, did you forget this ‘sagam’ I was wearing? so let me enjoy my current 'job'!” my word was inviting their crisp laughs.

“But, if you keep insisting, fine! I'll give this bread and this to your best friend,”

“Wah! Coincidence— “

“No! I mean, it's not very good if ‘mendzolimi’ patients like that! Don't have to keep eating to heal quickly, right?” my sergeant interrupted Farah quickly who made them smile.

Especially for this meal, I don't want to miss it. The food that has been my favorite, ever since Navroy first cooked and brought it to me every time we met.

Well, again that guy's on my mind! Stupidhead!

“Come! I will feed you,” Sadeev said after opening the parcel from the lunchbox, then approaching and sitting on the edge of my bed.

“I want to go out for a while, there's business. See you!” farah then flirted with teasing me before she disappeared from view.*******my smile appeared in a nod.

Really intentionally! Basic Farah!

The kebab and kare bread were in front of us. The smell is so tempting. I purposely let the sweet memories of Navroy stifle these thoughts. Yes, the first time to taste this typical Pakistani-Afghan food, derived from Navroy cuisine, as well as from the sweet mouthful. He was so absorbed in the way of the people of his country. Use a pinch of fingers that have been filled with kare in a bag of fresh toast. And it feels so delicious. In fact, when this man before me was about to treat me the same, these tears dripped for a moment.

You know, Navroy, sometimes I want you in their current position, not him!

Sadeev immediately put down the food that was about to bribe me, smiled wryly, then wiped these tears.

“I know it's so hard, Keysa, but try it, please! I also know, it's not that easy for you to look at other people, but one thing, whenever it is, I'm always there for you,”

I glanced at him, then looked at him for a moment. “I do love you! Loving like a blind man with all the sincerity and all the heart I have. But that doesn't mean I'm forcing you to retaliate. Nah! I understand, my love at this time, is only one-sided, only from me! Love, which one day amazes you, how awesome!”

 

He momentarily nodded, silent. So fixed was that gaze, that a heavy sigh came out of it, then smiled knots, nodded and lowered his head. Yes, Sadeev understands. Understand what just came out of my mouth. Understand that for what and on whom I refer the sentence. Right, to his best friend, Navroy!

The sound of knocking on the door was heard on the threshold, then the next second it opened and showed a hijab-wearing nurse entering. “Sorry to interrupt, Doc. Doctor Ana came to see me and asked to give it to Dr. Keysa, she said it was yours. He said again, this was discovered by the man who brought the doctor here during the accident. Excuse me, Doc. May it heal soon. “ The fly followed by my slow nod while still staring at this round object in my hand, after giving it to me.

“Thank you.”

I don't know if the nurse heard it or not, but for sure, my mind is currently focusing on the thing that has been attached for years to my sweet fingers, but it's not there right now. Again, the tears were dripping so freely.

*man? Wh who?

These eyes glanced at him. Then, “Really, I really didn't know about it, the admitting” made me sigh, yet still stared at it intensely.

“So you didn't bring me here?”

Sadeev was speechless, but a nod of his hug appeared. His expression was like thinking and astonishment.

Again, my heavy sighs sounded. After grabbing the phone in the buffet drawer of this room, fiddling for a moment, then I attached the phone when connected to the destination owner's number.

“Kak?”

“Keysa?”

“Yes, it's me! Is brother busy? Working with patients?” ask me when a familiar voice in there is heard.

“No! This again breaks while waiting for another prepare for surgery later. What was? Can someone help you? What is your condition suddenly—“

“No, Brother. Just wanted to ask a little. What is the cowol who left my chicin like in the photo that you see displayed in my room?”

“Oh, about the ring? Yeah, Key, he's the one. What's up?”

“Nothing, Brother. Just clarify.” My voice is trying to control my voice.

“Oh, okay. Hope you get well soon, honey, yes.”

“Yes, thank you, sister. Daylight.” My leg then pampered.

My gaze lowered and sighed—when my phone ended—along with this pain and pain in mind, trying hard to strengthen this heart not to cry in front of Sadeev. Apparently my assumption was right, was Navroy.

“Can I borrow your phone? Just for a moment,”, I asked Sadeev, still trying hard to control myself.

Sadeev looked at me for a moment, full of questions, but my response was only he stared and waited until he finally gave up and the next second a heavy sigh succumbed to it sounded. After reaching into her pants pocket, then reaching out to me. My hand immediately fiddled with his phone, looking for the contact owner who was currently on my mind. After finding the number I was looking for and calling, it didn't take long, the owner of the number I was going to finally answered. I was momentarily silent, hearing his voice that had answered my phone.

“I know you were there and deliberately kept quiet when I heard my voice. But, this time, listen to me carefully for the last time! I'm waiting for you where we first met. I don't care as long as I wait. And I know very well I. See you there, Mr. Pakistan,” my pain in holding water in this eye patch.

“Key, what are you doing?” the man who started to get anxious when he saw me remove the entire hose attached to me, after turning off the phone and returning Sadeev's phone.

“Please, for this time, let me finish everything, Sadeev? Just for the last time? It was just me and him,” my door looked at him.

The man only looked at me for a moment, then turned to his back while shaking his waist. In any case, no one can force me and crush this stubbornness. Enough already!

“Keysa, where are you going? Aren't you still sick?” Farah who had suddenly been in this room, was now staring anxiously.

“I want to finish something unfinished, Far,”

“Don't tell me you want to meet Navroy? Nah! You can't!” he suddenly huffed. When I get out of bed. He even intercepted and pulled me, but I brushed him aside after cupping my hand in front of this woman.

"Please, not this time," I looked at Farah with teary eyes

My resolve is round! He played me like this! At least, I just want clarity on what he's doing, for the last time.

Farah just snorted in annoyance and relented, letting me go.

And here I am, with all the rest of my power, for the sake of this love, I risk everything. I don't care about my current condition, but one thing is, just for clarity!

My legs feel heavy stepping, my eyes feel sore, my back feels so painful and this heart feels tight, pain, pain in the tears that have been bleeding all this time.

It took quite a long time, I was in this place, the place where we first met. The beach that carved the memories of both of us, told me about how I found it, but here too it might end. I was here, waiting right in the middle of the beach facing directly against the archway the first time our eyes met, without knowing each other. Waiting, right under the curtain of rain, in a body that occasionally trembled with teeth shaking from the chills of cold.

Time pass. I had been waiting for him for a few hours to rain here, but the figure never came. In fact, the tears that began to flow profusely with this rain, still had not appeared. My body began to fall on this beach floor while bending its knees, but you still haven't come.

Is that how you hate me, so I have to fight like this? What wrong? Is this the love I have? Until you don't look at me one bit.

In a world that is raining, you make my heart also roar. Should I give up, Navroy? Is that the only way I should do it? Then, why do you seem to give a candle light if in the end the storm you throw at me? You're mean! Too bad to be loved!

Until the last time I saw it was ten o'clock at night, I still haven't found your figure here—just as great as the memories of you stifling right now in my mind—before my eyes are completely closed that I can't stand anymore, you know, the anxious voice that was heard with the pain in my face that fell on the floor and the cold water, along with the sound of the water splashing, then the next second, I felt that I was in the dark.

I don't know where I am, but if I may, Lord, I'd like to see it, even once, just once!

* * *

 

My body was so warmed under a thick, soft cloth, as if lying on a cotton patch. My smile was off, but these eyes were still closed.

“Maybe, this has been in heaven,”

“Makassar Paradise, Darling!” the loud voice that filled my murmur pierced through this sense, then my nose hurt when someone pulled it.

Somebody? Wh who?

My eyes opened slowly with my eyes. Squeezing for a moment, as the glow of the light of the lamp forged these two black irises. The little black haired woman smiled at me.

“Night, Princess sleeping!” greet Farah who has been sitting on the edge of the bed, while this mattress swayed due to the burden of Farah's constant body.

What the hell is he doing here?

“Keep this stubborn princess!” it's the chirp again that makes my eyebrows frown.

I tried to blink repeatedly while looking at him.

Damnit damnit! Right, not a dream!

“Tapi—“

“Can you not put on such a cute pretentious look?” it's sarcasm again.

My smile broadened, then again drowned my face on the pink bed cover patterned with these flowers.

“Your body is not sore, huh? You've been sleeping two days unconscious,”

“Not sleeping is unconscious, yes?’

“Key!”

I was just speechless, but in****** smile.

“You fainted to know, after the rain of your silly waiting!” Farah diverts.

“Oh.” Short and then silent.

Back, that reminds me. The sadness and shadow of the events of those few days instantly wrapped my heart and spread to the body. Yes, I remember that last incident.

“Can you worry about yourself? Please, Keysa, stop being silly! Such ridiculous relationships just kill you slowly,”

“Everything's late, Far. It's already happened" I murmured weakly. As if there were no more power.

"Bego', moron, shucks, An–" Her footsteps rose by an octave.

"Enough! You can never understand what you are saying, Farah!” my sergeant screamed in annoyance at him as he suddenly woke up from my bed.

“You can't even understand! In fact, the fool, you still let yourself be in that silly relationship,”

“If only I could. If only it were easy. I don't want this either, Far!” I murmured weakly, looking at him with teary eyes.

“Eat your soup!" His word snapped and then came out while slamming the door hard enough to make me jerk in surprise.

Tears drip instantly. I can't be yelled at or someone makes a loud noise at me. I didn't expect such a response, that angry. For the first time, he acted so painfully to me. And he knows very well what I hate most.

But, if you knew, Far, if I could, as easy as you say. I've really been stuck with my own love!

* * * *