Trapped in the Love of Immigrants

Accident

I don't know why, I want to go to the beach. Just want those memories to be completely free to blackmail me tonight, for the last time. I just want to, enjoy every incident about her there. How I first discovered him, first getting to know him, the first time accidentally made our eyes meet each other and stare among the overlapping hundreds of people there passing by.

My chest began to feel tight, when the place was right in front of me. It was a pain, as each scene-by-scene piece flashed real in my mind to create delusions in this view.

It hurts, it hurts so much when it all mixes with the destruction. I just felt these tears flowing, when my face was cold in the wind of this beach.

The laughter echoed, the typical laughter of a Navroy was clearly heard in my senses. So close, so close, and when I looked east, he was there! Laugh so cheerfully at the slender girl with scanty clothes and blonde hair. Laughing without any burden or sadness. So off! Sometimes his body fell on the girl's shoulder, then stepped again while laughing. Yes, exactly a few meters not far from me, the exotic eyes that paralyzed me every time it managed to fixate in freezing. He managed to notice my presence, seeing a woman so fragile and helpless looking at him from a distance here, in dark eyes that were again flooded with tears.

*Why does it feel so claustrophobic when you see her with another girl?

Why is it so easy, Navroy*?

It was then that my feet ran as fast as possible, cursing myself who was present there. Running hard to deny that reality is like a coward.

Is this the answer to my heart's insistence on visiting this beach?

And are you satisfied now, heh? Stupidhead! rutukku cursed himself.

I don't care, I run any distance. No matter what people look at me weird. And no matter what the tears keep flowing. All I know is, I want to get rid of the shadows that are starting to hit my mind, the shadows about him with the girl. Right on the quiet street with only street lights lighting, my body collapsed and knelt there, when simultaneously the sound of gunfire rang out which made the next second instantly feel pain and heat on the shoulder. The sound of the gunshot was heard again to make my body jerk forward with the collapse on this asphalt road in the next second until my cheek fused with the warm asphalt that felt rough. For a moment, that giggling voice echoed.

"Haha and I'm satisfied your boyfriend got hit, Navroy! Good job, Honey!" Yelling man—entah voice from the direction where— that seemed to echo in this ear, on the sidelines of the grin of this sense.

Here I am, with the million memories I have of you, with these memories so vividly striking my days. Stuck with the same time and endless dreams, a time I believe strongly in today and believe will not betray.

They say that one day it will kill you for that ridiculous love and hope. Aye! When I believed and believed in time, it was without me knowing that I had killed me. Killing my naive, helpless heart rises from what it has gone through, despite being betrayed, despite being hurt.

Here I am, with love so painful and I don't know where I am. However, in the end, this heart still insists on loving her and cannot hate her.

For you love, which is like my rose, is beautiful yet painful because of its duration,

Today, I'll tell you about one thing. I'll tell you about what I haven't been able to say in front of you.

I'm a simple woman who can't be beautiful in your eyes at all times. But you know, my body is indeed sick and fragile when you prove that the nightmare actually exists. My mind and eyes were even dull and helpless as it could not prevent me from missing and looking at you silently. But my heart, my heart is but a lump of flesh wrapped in love and love created by my Lord. A heart so naive and controlled by God, which is even motivated by honesty. Yep! I was helpless and could not control it to erase the memories that still stood by my days. In fact, to forget that I ever loved you to this day.

Forgive me for being helpless and unable to act like your hopes and desires.

Through this letter of the Heartless Lake, it dawned on me, that the love I believed in and when I believed in it, could trap and make a nightmare. Even when people say stupid words, the heart stays with spaciousness and its beautiful smile says that it is, it is okay. And here I am, with love still firmly rooted in the heart with this memory.

I never know why the wrong time brought us together. I don't know how else to react. I don't know why this heart still loves you, to stay and enjoy it. Although, this wound was still screaming and pounding incessantly. In fact, this moment you threw that wound on my life, especially on our memories. After all, regardless, this taste remains the same and will continue to be the same.

Even if, if it were to be paid for with this life and this life, my little heart cried out loudly to approve it and enjoyed those moments in a silly smile that even brought me to death once.

The view is now blurry, along with the still bitter memories of the pain dancing in my eyes and revealing a beam of light in this vision. Until the third time, the ear-splitting sound was heard, the burning and soreness that penetrated my skin and shoulders at this moment was only fleeting.

And in the corner of the dark room, I found myself, that right, I still love him so much!

Vague siren ambulance and police were still heard by me, then followed by the sound of people overlapping. Before these eyes really forced me to shut up, glimpsing across the street, in the darkness of the night, Linka's figure was standing staring at me. Yeah, that sparkle in the light wrought from his bracelet convinced me.

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