The Memories That Carry Wounds

Fear

" Ta, you said that the hand of Heaven has a real movement Ta? " Aunty Maya who had just arrived unceremoniously grazed me with a question that made her face so resounding.

" Yes aunty, when I talked about the sky, she moved her finger slowly, I was shocked tan, but really she snapped her finger " my answer was no less encouraging than Aunt Maya's tone to me.

" Alhamdulillah, my dear aunt thank you Ta, it turns out that actually said Bian you who can indeed save Heaven "Aunty Maya took both my hands into her arms.

" Ta really, Sky love to you that brings a miracle, see the evidence. You now have to often stop by the sky Ta, who knows the sky can immediately realize if often visited with you " Bian stroked with his tat speech when it made me suddenly remember someone in my mind.

" Emmm Bi, get out for a while "I'm taking Bian out with me. " A minute aunty "can I towards Aunt Maya accompanied by the grill of the smiling head of Aunt Maya staring at me.

" What's going on Ta" Bian said shortly after me and him had been outside the room.

" I thought of Dean lo Bi, I was afraid because of this my relationship with Dean was threatened" I told Bian.

" Yes you don't tell Dong Ta to Dean this problem, at least until Heaven is really aware, I'm the one who helped Ta " replied Bian while leaning his hand on the wall.

" Yes that's Bi, I don't want to keep lying to Dean. And if it comes to this yes, if one day Dean knows I'm lying to him, don't know me Bi, I don't know what's going to happen next " I sat myself in the waiting chair right next to Bian.

" What do you mean by Ta? you want to be honest with Dean, if you are now on duty to guard the Sky? " Bian was sitting next to me.

" I didn't know Bi I was confused. If I'm honest I'm afraid Dean will misunderstand me, but if I'm not honest I'm afraid Dean will someday find out and Dean will be very disappointed to know I've been lying to him "I can't cover the look of anxiety on my face, my situation this time really confused me.

" Yaudah go first Ta, if there is anything, I will help explain to Dean, okay " replied Bian calm me down.

I just turned to look at Bian, and I took my breath in.

" Udah malem deh nih Ta, go home yuk, Aunt Maya is also here right, tomorrow we come again to see the sky" said Bian after turning to his watch.

" Yaudah said goodbye to Bi "

Me and Bian finally say goodbye to Aunt Maya.

" We say yes Tan" I told Aunt Maya.

" Oh yeah, heart of hearts huh, tomorrow you're here again right Ta? " ask Aunt Maya to me.

" Em yes tan, tomorrow I am here again "my answer.

" Thank you Ta, Bi. Yaudah heart your hearts yaa "said Aunt Maya before we finally passed from her sight.

***** The Next Morning.

Last night when I saw Sky in the hospital, I had absolutely no news with Dean. I was so focused on the Sky that I had indirectly ignored Dean who in fact was my real lover.

" I told Dean aja deh yes, I ajakin him breakfast at home, mumpung still early morning "My mum after I wake up and check my phone.

" Hello De, you're awake? " my question after my phone was answered by him.

" Emmm..haaa.i.yaa.ni just woke up " Dean's voice sounded lazy slurred.

" Okee Iaaaaaangggg " Dean answered me with a voice that still sounded faint.

" Hahaha ihh really long nyaa. Yaudah you are ready, baby, do not go to sleep again. Yaudah I'll see nantik yaa De "my word before I turn off my dialing line.

About 15 minutes after I called him, Dean finally came to my house. Mentari at that time still did not show the light, I who was cutting vegetables for our breakfast menu then immediately rushed to open the door for him.

" Haii" I said after seeing my lover's face in front of me.

Dean just smiled at me.

" I was so sleepy Ta " Dean was sitting in the middle room of my house, his face was so lethargic.

" Loo kok can still sleepy darling, why the hell De, was malem you did emang? " i asked while touching her cheek.

Dean looked at me with his innocent gaze, his face did look very lethargic this morning.

" I stayed up late, I couldn't sleep" replied Dean who then laid his body in my arms.

" You can't sleep, why baby, you can also tell me if you can't sleep "I caressed Dean's fine hair covering his forehead.

" I've had a nightmare" replied Dean, who tightened his body in my arms.

" The nightmare? oh my God, what dream is De? " i replied with a look and raised his face slowly towards me.

" I dreamed you Ta " replied Dean in a soft tone of voice.

" Marry me? what dream is De, why make you not able to sleep? " i rubbed his cheek gently again.

" In that dream I saw you in a garden, and when I called you, you were not horrified Ta, I kept calling your name, and you were still not horrified, and when I want to nyamperin you, I even squirm you hand in hand keep going the same guy that I don't know who it is. I was afraid Ta, the dream seemed real, I was afraid that the dream was really so real, " Dean answered me in a voice that was getting louder, his hands hugging me tighter, and tighter, his face slid into my body.

" Oh my goodness, baby, it was just a dream. I'm here, I can't possibly admit it to you. Don't you think about your dream anymore, I'm not going anywhere, I'm the same you keep "I pat Dean's back and try to calm him down.

" Have calmed down, if you are still sleepy you just sleep here for a while, while waiting for me to cook. There's still enough time anyway "I lift Dean's face slowly, and then I get him a pillow and a blanket for him to sleep on.

I lay her body in the long chair of my living room.

I stroked her hair until she really looked very sleepy and then I went back to the kitchen to continue cooking.

" Hmm what Dean's dream means yes, how could he arrive dreamin I that "I muttered with myself, I kept thinking about the dream that made Dean so scared last night.

I saw that Dean was right the less I could bear to think about what I had done behind him. I have lied to people who are so afraid of losing me.

Although I was only limited to helping the Sky, but still, the Sky is my past, which at any time there could be unexpected circumstances that change as the day goes on.

But whatever it is I've promised and tried to keep my commitment to Dean, I will immediately finish all my business helping Sky and I will resume my normal life with Dean once Heaven has healed.